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DEPRESSION SUPPORT- Anonymous posting is possible, see note in post #1.

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Comments

  • #32
    wesleysniper38
    Registered Users Posts: 423 ✭✭wesleysniper38


    kerryjack wrote: »
    That is a very bold , politically incorrect statement but i have to agree with it , There is a lot of lads going around with no jobs and very little purpose in life. If every man had a job and got reasonably well paid for it we would be much happier, in a lot of houses now its the man that's stay at home and herself out working, that cant be right, man was not programmed to be changing nappies and dropping kids to school , thousands of years of evolution and it has come down to this, in an other thousand years a man will have grown Tits and will be the weaker sex and they will be looking back in history and wondering where it all went wrong , it all started when a man started changing nappies , am i a sexist, yes i am , O K guys lets get back doing manly things like pub every evening and eating the dinner out of the bin when we get home the next generation will thank us for it.

    Hey man, I dont know whether you were serious there but you've just given me a mighty laugh! :p


  • #33
    Manoffeeling
    Closed Accounts Posts: 931 ✭✭✭Manoffeeling


    kerryjack wrote: »
    That is a very bold , politically incorrect statement but i have to agree with it , There is a lot of lads going around with no jobs and very little purpose in life. If every man had a job and got reasonably well paid for it we would be much happier, in a lot of houses now its the man that's stay at home and herself out working, that cant be right, man was not programmed to be changing nappies and dropping kids to school , thousands of years of evolution and it has come down to this, in an other thousand years a man will have grown Tits and will be the weaker sex and they will be looking back in history and wondering where it all went wrong , it all started when a man started changing nappies , am i a sexist, yes i am , O K guys lets get back doing manly things like pub every evening and eating the dinner out of the bin when we get home the next generation will thank us for it.

    Define manly things? What moisturiser do you use? :D


  • #34
    Mac Taylor
    Registered Users Posts: 1,747 ✭✭✭Mac Taylor


    kerryjack wrote: »
    That is a very bold , politically incorrect statement but i have to agree with it , There is a lot of lads going around with no jobs and very little purpose in life. If every man had a job and got reasonably well paid for it we would be much happier, in a lot of houses now its the man that's stay at home and herself out working, that cant be right, man was not programmed to be changing nappies and dropping kids to school , thousands of years of evolution and it has come down to this, in an other thousand years a man will have grown Tits and will be the weaker sex and they will be looking back in history and wondering where it all went wrong , it all started when a man started changing nappies , am i a sexist, yes i am , O K guys lets get back doing manly things like pub every evening and eating the dinner out of the bin when we get home the next generation will thank us for it.
    I am not sure which cave you came out but you should probably should go back in again. I genuinely hope you shared your views just to be devils advocate, but this subject is too serious for this kind of messing.


  • #35
    grazeaway
    Registered Users Posts: 1,079 ✭✭✭grazeaway


    kerryjack wrote: »
    That is a very bold , politically incorrect statement but i have to agree with it , There is a lot of lads going around with no jobs and very little purpose in life. If every man had a job and got reasonably well paid for it we would be much happier, in a lot of houses now its the man that's stay at home and herself out working, that cant be right, man was not programmed to be changing nappies and dropping kids to school , thousands of years of evolution and it has come down to this, in an other thousand years a man will have grown Tits and will be the weaker sex and they will be looking back in history and wondering where it all went wrong , it all started when a man started changing nappies , am i a sexist, yes i am , O K guys lets get back doing manly things like pub every evening and eating the dinner out of the bin when we get home the next generation will thank us for it.

    Not sure if this is tounge in cheek, but this kinda talk and that of bobs previosly is one of the main reasons for the high level of sucide in this country in my humble opinion. I'm sure neither of the lads above would be the type to make light of a death in the family, and i'm sure would try their best to help out if they could but their attidue does show a level of igronace and mis-understanding that goes right to the heart of the problem.

    All the excuses above can be agrued as valid points but someone with depression is actually ill not just feeling a little under the weather. comparing the problems of scoity and saying "sure what have you got to be dressed about!" is not a all helpful.

    If i was a friend or family member of bob or jack and i was depressed and was thinking about ending it all the last people i would go to for help would be them. If they were my closest confidant and person i trusted then who else could i talk to??? Think about that for a while lads and imigane if someone close to you asked you for help and you ridiculed them and then took their own life???

    Heavy stuff i know and maybe i'm out of line and a bit insenstive to some folks on here who have had to deal with a loss, but soemtimes it just needs to be said. I mighnt be the best listener in the world but i would like to think that if soemone came to me with their issues i would at least have the decenty to try to be there for them.


  • #36
    bbam
    Closed Accounts Posts: 7,410 ✭✭✭bbam


    I have to say the manner in which this thread has been drawn down into a rant about fellas being unhappy about changing their kids nappies is in poor taste..

    No much wonder there is such unwillingness for people suffering depression to come forward and talk about their troubled state..

    Depression is not a bad case of feeling down.

    Perhaps a MOD could go through the posts and prune out the rubbish, or just delete the whole thread as many of the current posts just serve to further isolate and demean the condition that depression is.


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  • #37
    whelan1
    Closed Accounts Posts: 11,786 ✭✭✭✭whelan1


    i have a cousin with depression, tbh it is the worst illness ever, he could just be near the end of his treatment and could go back to square one, truly awful for his family and kids... i know its good to talk but a kick in the arse is the last thing a person like my cousin needs... when he is ill, he doesnt believe he is ill, he thinks everyone is against him


  • #38
    mf240
    Registered Users Posts: 4,843 ✭✭✭mf240


    bbam wrote: »
    I have to say the manner in which this thread has been drawn down into a rant about fellas being unhappy about changing their kids nappies is in poor taste..

    No much wonder there is such unwillingness for people suffering depression to come forward and talk about their troubled state..

    Depression is not a bad case of feeling down.

    Perhaps a MOD could go through the posts and prune out the rubbish, or just delete the whole thread as many of the current posts just serve to further isolate and demean the condition that depression is.

    Seconded

    tidy up and lock


    We have chit chat for acting the pric


  • #39
    pakalasa
    Closed Accounts Posts: 4,552 ✭✭✭pakalasa


    http://www.samaritans.org/how-we-can-help-you/myths-about-suicide


  • #40
    Manoffeeling
    Closed Accounts Posts: 931 ✭✭✭Manoffeeling


    mf240 wrote: »
    Seconded

    tidy up and lock


    We have chit chat for acting the pric

    Don't lock and there is no one acting the prick. What you see is just typical of the ignorant attitude towards mental illness that is prevalent in our society. Let ignorant people post here and maybe they will then see how wrong they are.


  • #41
    ZETOR_IS_BETTER
    Registered Users Posts: 574 ✭✭✭ZETOR_IS_BETTER


    After reading the first few posts about peoples family members taking their lives and others going through depression, I just want to pass on my sympathies to them and also to thank them for sharing their stories.

    Its just a pity though a few small minded people disrespected the thread :(


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  • #42
    reilig
    Closed Accounts Posts: 7,401 ✭✭✭reilig


    Ah lads, keep it on topic. Don't make it a tit for tat.

    I'm delighted with the response to this thread. This is an area that I have a deep interest in as it is the area that I work in. But I'm not an authority on it. If only one person reads this thread and finds that the information in it is useful, then it has served its purpose.

    Triggers to depression and mental health issues are impossible to pinpoint. The variety of responses to this thread show that these triggers can be both large life changing issues and very small things.

    It would be nice to bring this thread further, so that it could be a resource to people who may need it. At the end of the day, I think that the Farming and Forestry Forum is a good resource for people to blow off steam, get advice on their problems, and even to get some consolation for things that have gone wrong.

    If anyone wants to suggest what we can do to bring the thread on, feel free to do so. This is the first time that I have seen depression being discussed openly on the Farming and Forestry Forum, and I think its a good thing.


  • #43
    bbam
    Closed Accounts Posts: 7,410 ✭✭✭bbam


    Here's a suggestion for anyone who has a family member having trouble.
    Reflective listening is a good technique to understand...

    Google it and there are many articles or your local Library will most probably have a book that can be borrowed...


    http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Reflective_listening


  • #44
    Muckit
    Registered Users Posts: 11,174 ✭✭✭✭Muckit


    I would agree with manoffeeling. Everyone is entitled to their opinion.

    This is a tread entitled depression. We can see already how some posters are talking about things that they obviously see as depression, but they may not be. As manoffeeling has said, let them post and it is easy to see why there is little sympathy from certain people for those suffering from depression.

    Just because I have lost a brother does not make me an authority on the subject. As part of my day job, I do work with adults with mental health difficulties. Even still I could be accused of being less than caring or being ignorant to certain aspects of the disease in some situations, so I can totally see how someone who is not in close contact with depression sufferers on a daily basis could be a little more ignorant to their circumstances.

    Let me try and make it clear once more. Depression is a disease. It is more than feeling down or having self pity for oneself. Commonly there are chemical imbalances in the brain that can make those with depression act unsociable. Prescribed medication is needed in many cases. The consequences of not taking medication as prescribed are huge. This was the case with my brother. The very sad thing about mental health difficulties is that it can rob the person of their previous personality. Even by taking prescribed drugs it will improve their standard of life, but they will rarely return to their 'full selves.' This can be hard to accept for those with depression and their families and friends.


  • #45
    kerryjack
    Registered Users Posts: 1,556 ✭✭✭kerryjack


    Muckit wrote: »
    I would agree with manoffeeling. Everyone is entitled to their opinion.

    This is a tread entitled depression. We can see already how some posters are talking about things that they obviously see as depression, but they may not be. As manoffeeling has said, let them post and it is easy to see why there is little sympathy from certain people for those suffering from depression.

    Just because I have lost a brother does not make me an authority on the subject. As part of my day job, I do work with adults with mental health difficulties. Even still I could be accused of being less than caring or being ignorant to certain aspects of the disease in some situations, so I can totally see how someone who is not in close contact with depression sufferers on a daily basis could be a little more ignorant to their circumstances.

    Let me try and make it clear once more. Depression is a disease. It is more than feeling down or having self pity for oneself. Commonly there are chemical imbalances in the brain that can make those with depression act unsociable. Prescribed medication is needed in many cases. The consequences of not taking medication as prescribed are huge. This was the case with my brother. The very sad thing about mental health difficulties is that it can rob the person of their previous personality. Even by taking prescribed drugs it will improve their standard of life, but they will rarely return to their 'full selves.' This can be hard to accept for those with depression and their families and friends.

    Reading your post , I am totally ignorant to the disease , I taught a few beers and an old chat and a pat on the back would do the trick , Forgive my ignorance.


  • #46
    JohnBoy
    Registered Users Posts: 2,343 ✭✭✭JohnBoy


    I have a bit of indirect experience of depression, and have seen what it can do to a person, and has been said a few times here, depression is really not about feeling sad, or feeling low. That can be part of it, but it's so much more, it can be manic-ness (up one minute, down the next) or anxiety (paranoia, over anyalysis), there can be self confidence issues which lead to an inability to talk about it, there can be any number of other things.

    But the main thing is it's a disease, and there are treatments for it, some more effective than others, and it can sometimes take time to find a particular person's right or best treatment, and that treatment may never make the person who they originally were, but they can often live quite well again.


    I think the ignorance (lack of knowledge, not rudeness) of depression is one of the biggest issues, people genuinely dont know what to do or say, and when we dont know what to do or say, most of us will look at the ground and shuffle off quietly to avoid an awkward situation, which unfortunately normally only serves to fuel the fire.



    There are many shapes and forms of it, and many causes and reasons, but also many forms of help.



    (I'd also like to speak up for bob, he can be a bit blunt at times, but what most missed is the last line of his post. There are many people in this world who do just feel sorry for themselves when there's nothing actually wrong with them, the problem is telling the difference between those people and the one's who are in real trouble)


    Oh and let no man be afraid of wiping sh*te of his child's arse, someone could have to wipe yours for you when you're older.


  • #47
    reilig
    Closed Accounts Posts: 7,401 ✭✭✭reilig


    JohnBoy wrote: »


    (I'd also like to speak up for bob, he can be a bit blunt at times, but what most missed is the last line of his post. There are many people in this world who do just feel sorry for themselves when there's nothing actually wrong with them, the problem is telling the difference between those people and the one's who are in real trouble)


    +1


  • #48
    hugo29
    Closed Accounts Posts: 3,267 ✭✭✭hugo29


    i think this topic should be treated with the respect it deserves. i see my wifes mother who suffers from it go from a ordinary hard working farmers wife to a shell of hershelf, luckily she has the support of her family who get her the treatment she needs when she needs it, i was one of those ignorants who could not understand how people could get depressed until i seen it first hand, lads we all need help every now and then and when someone asks give it freely

    keeryjack i dont know if you are serious or not but a fathers influence is the most important thing a young man can get, if all kids got a bit more hands on from their dad then maybe we wouldnt have a country full of unmannerly tearaways who have no respect for their elders,
    we all were there when they were conceived so man the fcuk up and pull your weight,


  • #49
    grazeaway
    Registered Users Posts: 1,079 ✭✭✭grazeaway


    hugo29 wrote: »
    keeryjack i dont know if you are serious or not but a fathers influence is the most important thing a young man can get, if all kids got a bit more hands on from their dad then maybe we wouldnt have a country full of unmannerly tearaways who have no respect for their elders,
    we all were there when they were conceived so man the fcuk up and pull your weight,

    +1


  • #50
    Dont be daft
    Registered Users Posts: 442 ✭✭Dont be daft


    Spent most of my lunch reading through the comments here and I have to say its been a bit of an eye-opener.

    I've never suffered with depression nor has anyone in my close proximity, that I know of anyway.

    So hearing these stories has brought it all a bit closer.
    Its strange. Sometimes when you look at a friend or family member thats not doing so well, in business or personal affairs, and you start to worry about them. You try and help them.
    But reading this has me thinking its probably more important to look at the person rather than the life around them, if you want to pick up on depression.


  • #51
    pakalasa
    Closed Accounts Posts: 4,552 ✭✭✭pakalasa


    Another point is how people can be effected by a single event in their lives. I knew someone once who suffered from bad depression, she had to take time off work and go on strong medication. Later she told me how, her first cousin and best friend growing up, had been murdered recently. It was a high profile case at the time. A shock to hear it and it explained a lot.


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  • #52
    tismesoitis
    Registered Users Posts: 858 ✭✭✭tismesoitis


    sad news up this way this mornin!! lost a local TD, minister, farmer husband , father of 3 and gentleman to suicide. FFS lads talk things out if there is anything bothering you!!!!! Sympathies to all concerened


  • #53
    grazeaway
    Registered Users Posts: 1,079 ✭✭✭grazeaway


    tismesoitis wrote: »
    sad news up this way this mornin!! lost a local TD, minister, farmer husband , father of 3 and gentleman to suicide. FFS lads talk things out if there is anything bothering you!!!!! Sympathies to all concerened

    didnt know his dead was from suicide? just heard it was sudden so assumed it was a heart issue. either way its awful for his family.


  • #54
    Rovi
    Closed Accounts Posts: 8,570 ✭✭✭Rovi


    [MOD]

    Let's perhaps put the discussion on the very recent death of a prominent person on hold for the moment.

    If or when the details as rumoured turn out to be accurate and after a decent time has passed for his family and friends to grieve him, the subject would most certainly be suitable for this thread.

    So, until there's official confirmation, please let this one sit.

    [/MOD]


  • #55
    Rovi
    Closed Accounts Posts: 8,570 ✭✭✭Rovi


    [MOD]

    I was a bit premature in removing some posts, as it would appear that the Irish Times is confirming that Minister McEntee did indeed take his own life.

    I'll restore the posts I deleted, but I'd ask people to be sensitive and remember that his relatives and friends may be reading this.

    [/MOD]


  • #56
    big_joe_joyce
    Site Banned Posts: 107 ✭✭big_joe_joyce


    bob charles wrote: »
    we are lucky here on my own farm in one since, as we dont have the time to stop and think about things that can get us down. Im all for a busy mind sorts out allot of problems. Most people only need a good kick in the rear end to get them going again but that is not everyone and its these people we have to watch out for.

    psychiatricts in the making here


  • #57
    big_joe_joyce
    Site Banned Posts: 107 ✭✭big_joe_joyce


    Dairynewbie wrote: »
    I know a lad farming 59acres near a village who was offered a tidy sum for all his land back in 06. He asked me for my advice I told him to sell and buy a bigger place. We looked at farms between 100 and 140acres He put it to his parents and his old lad went off his game.
    I got verbally attacked outside mass for putting ideas in his head. Farm is in his family 3 generations His old fellow would prefer him to struggle with a few sheep part time than have a full time job in farming. He is a qualified chippy. He had to move to the uk for work with his wife and a child. His old lad still won't even talk to me. Thinks one of my cronies was trying to con his son out of the farm. The land is now let since last sept. So go figure?
    He said that when his old lad is in the ground he is selling the lot. He has regretted it big time. There is a lot of friction still. His old lad will only see his grandson 3 times a year now. Such a mess.


    the previous generation of farmers in this country were an exceptionally selfish bunch for the most part , couldnt see past the end of their nose

    the majority of people who suffer with depression grew up with uncaring and cruel parents , either that or they encontered nasty people in their life at important and pivotal points , no one gets depressed for no reason , their is a myth out there that it can arrive like a heavy shower of rain out of the blue


  • #58
    keep going
    Closed Accounts Posts: 3,551 ✭✭✭keep going


    i had ideas about depression before it touched a relative of mine and it changed alot of them.how you are doing in life is not a cause of depression but however if things are going well it may allows you to mask or maybe cope better which becomes more difficult when things go wrong.while there maybe trigger factors usually its been there already.dealing with it is a slow,fustrating and difficult process but esssentially it is about that person learning skills to deal with it and adjusting their life to take risk factors out of it.its very hard for the people around them to separate depression from the person-they are the same people even though they are behaving like a stranger.unfortunately i suspect the way people are being conditioned these days is predisposing people to depression.and after all that i still think i know very little about it and i hope it stays that way


  • #59
    big_joe_joyce
    Site Banned Posts: 107 ✭✭big_joe_joyce


    kerryjack wrote: »
    That is a very bold , politically incorrect statement but i have to agree with it , There is a lot of lads going around with no jobs and very little purpose in life. If every man had a job and got reasonably well paid for it we would be much happier, in a lot of houses now its the man that's stay at home and herself out working, that cant be right, man was not programmed to be changing nappies and dropping kids to school , thousands of years of evolution and it has come down to this, in an other thousand years a man will have grown Tits and will be the weaker sex and they will be looking back in history and wondering where it all went wrong , it all started when a man started changing nappies , am i a sexist, yes i am , O K guys lets get back doing manly things like pub every evening and eating the dinner out of the bin when we get home the next generation will thank us for it.


    i dont disagree that the erosion of traditional masculinity is a negative thing or that the media and offical ireland doesnt attack masculinity as if it was a disease but the idea that depression or suicide is a feminine phenomenon is rubbish , suicide is an act of bravery , no bigger descision is it possible to make

    thats not to say it isnt devastating for those left behind but its a complex issue all round


  • #60
    mf240
    Registered Users Posts: 4,843 ✭✭✭mf240


    big_joe_joyce wrote: »
    i dont disagree that the erosion of traditional masculinity is a negative thing or that the media and offical ireland doesnt attack masculinity as if it was a disease but the idea that depression or suicide is a feminine phenomenon is rubbish , suicide is an act of bravery , no bigger descision is it possible to make

    thats not to say it isnt devastating for those left behind but its a complex issue all round

    No it's not it's a symptom of the disease.

    True bravery is finding the courage to seek help.


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  • #61
    big_joe_joyce
    Site Banned Posts: 107 ✭✭big_joe_joyce


    mf240 wrote: »
    Can you imagine what that sentence would do to someone who is reading this thread on the verge of seeking help.


    my comment was meant to say that branding someone a coward for committing suicide is wrong and ignorant yet a lot of people say this without thinking

    it might be selfish but its certainly not cowardly


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