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Who do you meet in heaven?

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  • 25-02-2021 11:53pm
    #1
    The chan chan man
    Registered Users Posts: 824 ✭✭✭


    Maybe some religious guys could help me with these ones..

    1. Suppose my wife dies and...goes to heaven.. I remarry years later and then me and my new wife die. Do i meet my old wife in heaven who’s been waiting for me for 30 years and I show up with my new bird?

    2. Which version of me exists in heaven? Me in my prime or the decrepit 102 year old that died?

    3. Who’s in heaven? Every person that ever died? Neanderthals? Cro-Magnon man? How far back are we talkin here?


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    #2
    EmmetSpiceland
    Registered Users Posts: 10,526 ✭✭✭✭EmmetSpiceland


    You won’t have a brain to interpret the electro-chemical stimuli to give you feelings either way so you probably won’t mind who you see or how you appear.

    The tide is turning…



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    #3
    PsychoPete
    Registered Users Posts: 8,571 ✭✭✭PsychoPete


    Hitler or one of them mad fellas


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    #4
    .anon.
    Closed Accounts Posts: 1,094 ✭✭✭.anon.


    The chan chan man wrote: »
    3. Who’s in heaven? Every person that ever died?

    Just the Catholic ones.


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    #5
    Pherekydes
    Registered Users Posts: 16,109 ✭✭✭✭Pherekydes


    Not religious, but you won't meet anyone in heaven. No one ever goes there.


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    #6
    LessOutragePlz
    Registered Users Posts: 1,358 ✭✭✭LessOutragePlz


    We meet ourselves in heaven because God, guru and self are One.


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    #7
    silliussoddius
    Registered Users Posts: 3,722 ✭✭✭silliussoddius


    The chan chan man wrote: »

    3. Who’s in heaven? Every person that ever died? Neanderthals? Cro-Magnon man? How far back are we talkin here?

    Bob Marley and Stalin.


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    #8
    bigroad
    Registered Users Posts: 4,041 ✭✭✭bigroad


    You will meet random people as there is a very long queue at the gates.


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    #9
    NickNickleby
    Registered Users Posts: 1,813 ✭✭✭NickNickleby


    Decades ago, I read a book called "Stranger in a Strange Land". The central character eventually dies and goes to heaven. Where he meets all the bad guys he had known. Apparently, there was neither reward nor punishment in the afterlife. So all his years of self control were for nothing :pac::pac::pac:.

    But of course, we know otherwise. Well I do, and I'm being a real goody two shoes, till I get over there. Yee-haw, can't wait !!!

    When I get there, I'll look down and see can I see Mr O'Connell, and if I see him I'll pi$$ on him for running over my rabbit.


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    #10
    Pauliedragon
    Registered Users Posts: 2,457 ✭✭✭Pauliedragon


    Cameron Diaz hopefully.


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    #11
    Akrasia
    Registered Users Posts: 22,234 ✭✭✭✭Akrasia


    You get reincarnated as a narwhal the next step on the Karmic ladder before apprentice unicorn (bumpy horse) followed by junior unicorn grade B


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    #12
    Akrasia
    Registered Users Posts: 22,234 ✭✭✭✭Akrasia


    Pauliedragon wrote: »
    Cameron Diaz hopefully.

    Young Cameron Diaz or 2021 Cameron Diaz?


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    #13
    [Deleted User]
    Posts: 0 ✭ [Deleted User]


    The chan chan man wrote: »
    Maybe some religious guys could help me with these ones..

    1. Suppose my wife dies and...goes to heaven.. I remarry years later and then me and my new wife die. Do i meet my old wife in heaven who’s been waiting for me for 30 years and I show up with my new bird?

    You'd be looking at a ménage a trois situation..


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    #14
    Wilberto
    Moderators, Computer Games Moderators, Social & Fun Moderators Posts: 8,573 Mod ✭✭✭✭Wilberto


    The chan chan man wrote: »
    2. Which version of me exists in heaven? Me in my prime or the decrepit 102 year old that died?

    Apparently the version of you that goes up is the version you were at the same age that Jesus died. 33? 36? I'm not religious so I don't know what age he was when he died but anyway. :)


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    #15
    NickNickleby
    Registered Users Posts: 1,813 ✭✭✭NickNickleby


    Pauliedragon wrote: »
    Cameron Diaz hopefully.
    Akrasia wrote: »
    Young Cameron Diaz or 2021 Cameron Diaz?

    2041 Cameron Diaz.

    Actually, I prefer this version of Heaven. so...

    Bananarama


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    #16
    Surreptitious
    Registered Users Posts: 8,130 ✭✭✭Surreptitious


    We as mere mortals cannot understand such things. They are labels created by certain forms of religions yet have no basis in reality as nobody really knows. They are images which are not fundamentally real or coherent.


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    #17
    COVID
    Registered Users Posts: 624 ✭✭✭COVID


    Heaven
    Heaven is a place
    A place where nothing
    Nothing ever happens


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    #18
    Surreptitious
    Registered Users Posts: 8,130 ✭✭✭Surreptitious


    COVID wrote: »
    Heaven
    Heaven is a place
    A place where nothing
    Nothing ever happens

    Oh heaven is a place on earth. You know in heaven love comes first


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    #19
    Pauliedragon
    Registered Users Posts: 2,457 ✭✭✭Pauliedragon


    Akrasia wrote: »
    Young Cameron Diaz or 2021 Cameron Diaz?
    Either one will do. Any port in a storm at the moment.:p


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    #20
    COVID
    Registered Users Posts: 624 ✭✭✭COVID


    Surreptitious wrote: »
    Oh heaven is a place on earth. You know in heaven love comes first

    Heaven's in the back seat of my Cadillac!


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    #21
    Surreptitious
    Registered Users Posts: 8,130 ✭✭✭Surreptitious


    COVID wrote: »
    Heaven's in the back seat of my Cadillac!

    That song was in the Black Mirror episode with the two gals. Loved it


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    #22
    Ninthlife
    Registered Users Posts: 2,241 ✭✭✭Ninthlife


    So..Jesus was the original Del Boy, sell anything to anyone. He convinced everyone that heaven was Trific so for centuries we're all cushtie about living by the 'rules' cause if we die we'll go to heaven but what if it aint cushtie...just like those Russian VCRs

    Meanwhile down stairs in hell its 24/7 party

    Gospel according to Dave, chapter 4, paragraph 16

    He who dares Rodders, He who dares


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    #23
    Akrasia
    Registered Users Posts: 22,234 ✭✭✭✭Akrasia


    Wilberto wrote: »
    Apparently the version of you that goes up is the version you were at the same age that Jesus died. 33? 36? I'm not religious so I don't know what age he was when he died but anyway. :)

    So everyone who died at age 0-32 wakes up from death all aged? Or is it no under 33s need apply?


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    #24
    rossie1977
    Registered Users Posts: 11,341 ✭✭✭✭rossie1977


    Fine_010418-615x410.jpg


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    #25
    dd973
    Registered Users Posts: 625 ✭✭✭dd973


    If you think of everybody who's ever lived it must be a bit busy up there, meeting people from the Battle of Waterloo and Clontarf would be cool.


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    #26
    kowloon
    Registered Users Posts: 13,278 ✭✭✭✭kowloon


    Deleted User wrote: »
    You'd be looking at a ménage a trois situation..

    Sex is sinful and only happens in Hell. Heaven is just like mass but longer and in Latin.


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    #27
    Nekarsulm
    Registered Users Posts: 11,191 ✭✭✭✭Nekarsulm


    If you read the Bible, there is no one in Heaven yet.
    After the Second Coming of Jesus, all will be judged, and sorted accordingly.


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    #28
    ILoveYourVibes
    Registered Users Posts: 15,176 ✭✭✭✭ILoveYourVibes


    Heaven is the good in people here on earth.

    Here is where the life is.


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    #29
    Adyx
    Registered Users Posts: 2,997 ✭✭✭Adyx


    Read The Egg by Andy Weir.


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    #30
    TheValeyard
    Registered Users Posts: 12,207 ✭✭✭✭TheValeyard


    I always liked Gandalfs take on it




    End? No, the journey doesn't end here. Death is just another path, one that we all must take. The grey rain-curtain of this world rolls back, and all turns to silver glass, and then you see it.

    Fcuk Putin. Glory to Ukraine!



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    #31
    ohnonotgmail
    Registered Users Posts: 40,135 ✭✭✭✭ohnonotgmail


    dd973 wrote: »
    If you think of everybody who's ever lived it must be a bit busy up there, meeting people from the Battle of Waterloo and Clontarf would be cool.

    what is so special about people from clontarf?


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