French author, 50, says he's incapable of loving a woman of 50

xi5yvm0owc1s2b · 11-01-2019 1:12pm

glasso wrote: »

Yes I agree with you. Notwithstanding that, where men have resources, social status and access to younger women (social circles) it's no coincidence that you see them having multiple marriages, marrying a younger woman each time.

Sometimes that happens but sometimes it doesn't. Yes, you have your Mick Jagger types who always seem to be pursuing 25-year-olds. But other wealthy, influential men don't behave this way. Bill Gates has been married to his first wife Melinda since 1994. Jeff Bezos has just announced his divorce from his 48-year-old wife of 25 years, but is now rumored to be dating a 49-year-old. I'm sure many 20-somethings would happily date a man worth $137 billion -- but he's not looking for someone in that age bracket.

11-01-2019 1:15pm

Darwin Rotten Drunk wrote: »

Sometimes that happens but sometimes it doesn't. Yes, you have your Mick Jagger types who always seem to be pursuing 25-year-olds. But other wealthy, influential men don't behave this way. Bill Gates has been married to his first wife Melinda since 1994. Jeff Bezos has just announced his divorce from his 48-year-old wife of 25 years, but is now rumored to be dating a 49-year-old. I'm sure many 20-somethings would happily date a man worth $137 billion -- but he's not looking for someone in that age bracket.

yes. not always the case. but in those guys cases they lack the social circle side of things to an extent - they are not going to film, music and media parties like the Rolling Stones. They have extreme wealth but not the social circle and social status (cool factor not as strong with IT as media/film/music) to the same extent. They are also not conditioned to adulation like high social status people are.

xi5yvm0owc1s2b · 11-01-2019 1:17pm

Obvious Desperate Breakfasts wrote: »

I don’t really know why you brought statistics about sex - I clearly was just talking about relationships.

You were responding to a poster who said: "From what I've seen it's rare for someone to get to 20 without a relationship or any kind of experience with the opposite sex."

It was you who ignored the fact that he was talking about relationships or sexual experience. Statistically, most Irish 20-year-olds are not virgins, regardless of their experience with relationships.

Gimme A Pound · 11-01-2019 1:24pm

How are these statistics gathered? If over half of those sgrd 20 have had sex, then I'd say it's just about over half, like 51%. Which leaves the other 49% still as virgins - and that's a lot, but it doesn't surprise me.

People are not sexually active young in their droves the way media and popular culture tell us.

Lotus Flower · 11-01-2019 1:25pm

glasso wrote: »

yes. not always the case. but in those guys cases they lack the social circle side of things to an extent - they are not going to film, music and media parties like the Rolling Stones. They have extreme wealth but not the social circle and social status (cool factor not as strong with IT as media/film/music) to the same extent. They are also not conditioned to adulation like high social status people are.

So what you're saying is that multi billionaires aren't with 25 year olds because they're not cool enough? Why is it such a stretch to believe that not every single man on the planet thinks the same? I know several men in their 30s and 40s who wouldn't want to date a 25 year old, due to not being able to relate to them. (I know some who would in a heartbeat, of course).

Mrsmum · 11-01-2019 1:29pm

glasso wrote: »

Yes I agree with you. Notwithstanding that, where men have resources, social status and access to younger women (social circles) it's no coincidence that you see them having multiple marriages, marrying a younger woman each time.

But speaking about these men that have resources, there again I think a lot of that trading in for a younger model is being able to impress a beautiful younger woman far easier than impressing a beautiful older woman. Young women by definition are at the start of their lives, they will not be as rich as an olfder man and therefore will be impressed by even limited resources that he decides to lay before her. His smallest display of resources will be impressive and it will boost his ego to see her reaction to that. A beautiful older woman like all older women have lived a lot of life. Believe me it takes a lot to impress us in every way and we can smell bs and false sentiment from miles off. Older women have their own lives going on and no longer just want to be an addition to his. I bet that French guy would be afraid of his life of a beautiful 50 year old woman.

11-01-2019 1:30pm

Lotus Flower wrote: »

So what you're saying is that multi billionaires aren't with 25 year olds because they're not cool enough? Why is it such a stretch to believe that not every single man on the planet thinks the same? I know several men in their 30s and 40s who wouldn't want to date a 25 year old, due to not being able to relate to them. (I know some who would in a heartbeat, of course).

I'm not saying it's universal but you can't deny that for men with the choice due to attributes as described, it's the norm rather than the exception.

I didn't say 25, a guy of 55 with the choice might remarry with a 35 year old, especially if he's had children already.

xi5yvm0owc1s2b · 11-01-2019 1:35pm

Clementine Echoing Squalor wrote: »

How are these statistics gathered? If over half of those sgrd 20 have had sex, then I'd say it's just about over half, like 51%. Which leaves the other 49% still as virgins - and that's a lot, but it doesn't surprise me.

People are not sexually active young in their droves the way media and popular culture tell us.

I was quoting the Irish Times sex survey, which surveyed 12,639 people in Ireland about their sex lives in 2015.

If 50 percent of women have had sex by the time they are 18 and a half, you'd expect the number to have lost their virginity by 20 to be quite a bit higher than 51 percent, for the reason that many have made the transition to college at that age and are living independently of their parents.

xi5yvm0owc1s2b · 11-01-2019 1:42pm

glasso wrote: »

yes. not always the case. but in those guys cases they lack the social circle side of things to an extent - they are not going to film, music and media parties like the Rolling Stones.

Bezos runs a company that is heavily involved in film, music, and media. He even had a cameo role in a recent Star Trek film. Let's not pretend that he doesn't have access to young women socially. His company alone employs hundreds of thousands of people, and I'm sure he has many young women fawning over him at work as well.

Sardonicat · 11-01-2019 1:47pm

Darwin Rotten Drunk wrote: »

Obvious Desperate Breakfasts wrote: »

I don’t really know why you brought statistics about sex - I clearly was just talking about relationships.

You were responding to a poster who said: "From what I've seen it's rare for someone to get to 20 without a relationship or any kind of experience with the opposite sex."

It was you who ignored the fact that he was talking about relationships or sexual experience. Statistically, most Irish 20-year-olds are not virgins, regardless of their experience with relationships.

You were responding to my post. I said relationships, I did not mention sexual encounters at all, and I was responding to a post that also said relationships and did not mention sex. Apologies as I'm posting on my phone so can't multi quote. And I'm female btw.The poster I responded to also seemed to believe that not having a relationship in your 20s equated to being singlefor their entire life so I get the impression that that poster is very young and sees sex and relationships as the same thing. I was trying to gently point out that that isn't the case as he seemed to be rearly depressed about his own situation.

Sardonicat · 11-01-2019 1:50pm

Sonic Youth wrote: »

Sardonicat wrote: »

Not having a relationship til your twenties is pretty common for both sexes I would have thought. And your twenties is not your entire life!

Not common at all.

Here

xi5yvm0owc1s2b · 11-01-2019 1:54pm

Sardonicat wrote: »

You were responding to my post.

No, I was not responding to you. I replied to Obvious Desperate Breakfasts, who was in turn responding to Sonic Youth.

Obvious Desperate Breakfasts · 11-01-2019 2:04pm

Darwin Rotten Drunk wrote: »

You were responding to a poster who said: "From what I've seen it's rare for someone to get to 20 without a relationship or any kind of experience with the opposite sex."

It was you who ignored the fact that he was talking about relationships or sexual experience. Statistically, most Irish 20-year-olds are not virgins, regardless of their experience with relationships.

The poster he reponded to was also just talking about relationships. I’ve been following the whole conversation thread, unlike you it seems. He in the last post flung in mention of some kind of sexual experience as well as relationships, but before that he had said it was uncommon for people to reach their 20s without having a relationship. He didn’t at that point mention sexual experiences outside of relationships. And presumably just mentioned that to widen the net.

So we are not talking about loss of virginity here, any of us that had been following the conversation.

Sardonicat wrote: »

Not having a relationship til your twenties is pretty common for both sexes I would have thought. And your twenties is not your entire life!

Sonic Youth wrote: »

Not common at all.

11-01-2019 2:10pm

Darwin Rotten Drunk wrote: »

Bezos runs a company that is heavily involved in film, music, and media. He even had a cameo role in a recent Star Trek film. Let's not pretend that he doesn't have access to young women socially. His company alone employs hundreds of thousands of people, and I'm sure he has many young women fawning over him at work as well.

yes but he's more involved in running a huge company where the media side is a concern but a relatively minor one. also he'd risk being up for sexual harassment if he got involved with a subordinate employee in a work situation if it goes wrong - unlike meeting a younger actress at a party in a social situation where that risk is not there. he's far from an idiot.

in any case, he's just got divorced. who knows why that happened...

he has wealth (unparalleled), status and access - just not to the same extent on the status and access side as say a male movie star, who is also probably better-looking, adding to his social status.

the point I'm making is that those men with the choice due to attributes, which very few have, usually take advantage of it because it's programmed to seek fertile women.

there are not many a-list hollywood or true rock-star men with 40 and 50 year marriages are there?

Omackeral · 11-01-2019 2:16pm

Darwin Rotten Drunk wrote: »

Bezos runs a company that is heavily involved in film, music, and media. He even had a cameo role in a recent Star Trek film. Let's not pretend that he doesn't have access to young women socially. His company alone employs hundreds of thousands of people, and I'm sure he has many young women fawning over him at work as well.

Being ultra high net has its advantages no doubt.

Lotus Flower · 11-01-2019 2:17pm

glasso wrote: »

yes but he's more involved in running a huge company where the media side is a concern but a relatively minor one. also he'd risk being up for sexual harassment if he got involved with a subordinate employee in a work situation if it goes wrong - unlike meeting a younger actress at a party in a social situation where that risk is not there. he's far from an idiot.

in any case, he's just got divorced. who knows why that happened...

he has wealth (unparalleled), status and access - just not to the same extent on the status and access side as say a male movie star, who is also probably better-looking, adding to his social status.

the point I'm making is that those men with the choice due to attributes, which very few have, usually take advantage of it because it's programmed to seek fertile women.

there are not many a-list hollywood or true rock-star men with 40 and 50 year marriages are there?

Bezos is far better looking than Mick Jagger, just saying....

Yes, there are and were several of those marriages, Bowie and Iman for example, off the top of my head

And if anyone was a true rock star, it was Bowie

Tell me how · 11-01-2019 2:18pm

Lotus Flower wrote: »

Bezos is far better looking than Mick Jagger, just saying....

Yes, there are and were several of those marriages, Bowie and Iman for example, off the top of my head

Not in terms of as a percentage of total marriages.

11-01-2019 2:27pm

Tell me how wrote: »

Not in terms of as a percentage of total marriages.

yes. And that's hardly a good example, David Bowie swapped out his first wife for Iman. He was 45 when he married her in her prime at 27.

Lotus Flower · 11-01-2019 2:36pm

glasso wrote: »

yes. And that's hardly a good example, David Bowie swapped out his first wife for Iman. He was 45 when he married her in her prime at 27.

Bowie and his first wife had already long divorced before he met Iman. He didn't "swap" her out and it's pretty clear they were divorced for other reasons. Point is, he stayed married and didn't swap her for a younger model, even when she was past her "prime" after 27

11-01-2019 2:43pm

Lotus Flower wrote: »

Bowie and his first wife had already long divorced before he met Iman. He didn't "swap" her out and it's pretty clear they were divorced for other reasons. Point is, he stayed married and didn't swap her for a younger model, even when she was past her "prime" at 27

27 is not past her prime for a supermodel lol. He had the choice due to afore mentioned attributes to get a supermodel still in her prime when he was in his mid forties.

Lotus Flower · 11-01-2019 2:50pm

glasso wrote: »

27 is not past her prime for a supermodel lol. He had the choice due to afore mentioned attributes to get a supermodel still in her prime when he was in his mid forties.

You were the one who mentioned her being in her prime at 27, you'll note my use of it was in inverted commas

Look, I'm not disagreeing that yes, of course some men will go for younger women. Not all, though. Some of the motions are put forward on this thread are that all men prefer younger women and given the chance, all men will dump their middle aged wifes for a younger model like a hot snot. I'm simply saying this isn't true in all cases

11-01-2019 2:53pm

Lotus Flower wrote: »

You were the one who mentioned her being in her prime at 27, you'll note my use of it was in inverted commas

Look, I'm not disagreeing that yes, of course some men will go for younger women. Not all, though. Some of the motions are put forward on this thread are that all men prefer younger women and given the chance, all men will dump their middle aged wifes for a younger model like a hot snot. I'm simply saying this isn't true in all cases

yes. my point is that dna programs this preference. not all choose this true but the vast majority of men don't have this choice due to lack of financial resources (divorce is very expensive) and social status. probably a key ingredient in a lot of unhappy relationships.

Tell me how · 11-01-2019 2:59pm

glasso wrote: »

27 is not past her prime for a supermodel lol. He had the choice due to afore mentioned attributes to get a supermodel still in her prime when he was in his mid forties.

27 is not past your prime for anyone ffs. Determination of prime is subjective for both the individual and the observer.

Lotus Flower · 11-01-2019 3:01pm

glasso wrote: »

yes. my point is that dna programs this preference. not all choose this true but the vast majority of men don't have this choice due to lack of financial resources (divorce is very expensive) and social status. probably a key ingredient in a lot of unhappy relationships.

That the vast majority of men are not leaving their marriages for a younger model due to lack of resources is a rather bleak outlook, IMO.

11-01-2019 3:31pm

Lotus Flower wrote: »

That the vast majority of men are not leaving their marriages for a younger model due to lack of resources is a rather bleak outlook, IMO.

I'm not saying all but it's an unfortunate fact that marriage in the long term does not correlate with what is programmed into the human species.

That's why the outlier cases that I've illustrated where choice is not constrained give us a picture of what of what people would do if they had the choice.

pq0n1ct4ve8zf5 · 11-01-2019 3:40pm

glasso wrote: »

I'm not saying all but it's an unfortunate fact that marriage in the long term does not correlate with what is programmed into the human species.

That's why the outlier cases that I've illustrated where choice is not constrained give us a picture of what of what people would do if they had the choice.

What some people would do, you keep writing off the examples that don't suit as being people without full opportunity.

I very seriously doubt it's a lack of beautiful women in their twenties making themselves sexually available to Bill Gates that's kept him married to the same woman for decades. Hugh Jackmans wife of some decades is significantly older than him. Terry Crews is married for 30 years. What are they lacking that means they don't have the status to do what everyone apparently wants to do?

Man leaves wife for younger woman is common, sure, but it's not universal and that isn't because there isn't universal opportunity.

xi5yvm0owc1s2b · 11-01-2019 3:44pm

glasso wrote: »

I'm not saying all but it's an unfortunate fact that marriage in the long term does not correlate with what is programmed into the human species.

We are not "programmed" in the sense that we have no choice in the matter.

I'm quite sure that Bezos could get himself a gorgeous 25-year-old girlfriend just by clicking his fingers, if he wanted one. Lots of young women would jump at the the opportunity to date someone worth $137 billion.

So it doesn't make sense, in your theory, that he would dump his 48-year-old wife for someone a year older than her. Why isn't he going after 20-somethings, per his alleged genetic programming?

Greentopia · 11-01-2019 3:46pm

I think he should take a look in the mirror before commenting. Head on him like a tree stump and looks 10 years older than his age.

Lotus Flower · 11-01-2019 3:46pm

glasso wrote: »

I'm not saying all but it's an unfortunate fact that marriage in the long term does not correlate with what is programmed into the human species.

That's why the outlier cases that I've illustrated where choice is not constrained give us a picture of what of what people would do if they had the choice.

Well I'd imagine that there's as many women who are unhappy with their husbands also. I also know there's a lot of men who simply don't care that their wife is no longer youthful and are happy to grow old together. Same goes for women

joe40 · 11-01-2019 3:57pm

There is a lot of nonsense about behaviour been "programmed into us" by evolution. Humans are more complex than that. I'm a 49 year old male and thankfully not on the dating scene but if I was I would in no way be interested in a 25 year old to form a relationship with. Ok If I'm perfectly honest the opportunity for no strings attached one night stand absolutely.

But a relationship is much more than that. At this stage I would have very little in common with a 25 year old woman and there is no way any sensible, intelligent emotionally stable 25 year old would be interested in a relationship with me. I wouldn't know what to talk about.

Any Man who thinks they are is a clown that is been used.

Take Trump for example he just looks ridiculous standing beside Melania.

French author, 50, says he's incapable of loving a woman of 50

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