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Acting differently around your partner...

2456

Comments

  • #32
    [Deleted User]
    Posts: 0 ✭✭✭[Deleted User]


    OP just ride your friend and be yourself with your BF.


  • #33
    Gimme A Pound
    Closed Accounts Posts: 3,482 ✭✭✭Gimme A Pound


    mariaalice wrote: »
    What age are you, you sound and are acting like a teenage, do you lack confidence in yourself or something?
    greenspurs wrote: »
    Hmmm ..... Are you just insecure , or fishing for other peoples stories?

    Either (or neither) way , something strange here .......
    Best of luck with your dual persona's
    BIG time. I mean of course people act some bit differently around different people - and i do appreciate men tend to find women who aren't ladettes more attractive - but it's never healthy to put on a complete act, particularly with the person you are supposed to be getting closest to.

    What are all these terrible things you have to hide anyway? Why are you so uncomfortable with them?

    Sorry Porklife, between this and the other thread which contained a lot of seeking approval ("I like to be demure... and agree to get ****ed up the ass when I don't want to" :D) - you seem like a good person but you *really* need to work on your self worth.


  • #34
    Tell me how
    Registered Users Posts: 21,517 ✭✭✭✭Tell me how


    I know a guy who puts on a Cork accent when talking to his business partner.

    I've only heard him speak to him on the phone twice and each time he did it. I asked him about it and he said he doesn't think he does.

    I suspect he did it (subconsciously or otherwise) originally to connect with him better and here he is 3 years later.


  • #35
    Bigbagofcans
    Registered Users Posts: 1,164 ✭✭✭Bigbagofcans


    Porklife wrote: »
    I have never and would never.. some things are best done in solitude. Do you not think it kinda kills romance? Like couples who p*ss and sh*t in front of each other. I'm all for intimacy but bathroom stuff is definitely my alone time. I don't see how it brings you closer as a couple, if anything it would turn me off my partner, same goes for farting. Do you not find it gross?
    Not getting at ya btw, just asking! :)

    So do you run off to another room to release gas? :D

    Nah it doesn't kill romance for me, it just makes us more comfortable in front of each other.

    If someone has breath that would knock out a small child, now that would be a turn off.


  • #36
    Cockford Ollie
    Banned (with Prison Access) Posts: 217 ✭✭Cockford Ollie


    Was hard to figure out if you were male or female.


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  • #37
    Porklife
    Registered Users Posts: 1,681 ✭✭✭Porklife


    Brycen Black Refrigeration wrote: »
    BIG time. I mean of course people act some bit differently around different people - and i do appreciate men tend to find women who aren't ladettes more attractive - but it's never healthy to put on a complete act, particularly with the person you are supposed to be getting closest to.

    What are all these terrible things you have to hide anyway? Why are you so uncomfortable with them?

    Sorry Porklife, between this and the other thread which contained a lot of seeking approval ("I like to be demure... and agree to get ****ed up the ass when I don't want to" :D) - you seem like a good person but you *really* need to work on your self worth.

    You don't know me in fairness and you're way off the mark. I just mean, I'd be a bit louder around my friends, I'm not hiding anything. My bf knows all my stories but I dilute them a bit for him whereas I wouldn't around my friends.

    Are you saying that a bunch of lads down the pub talk the same way in front of their girlfriends? I highly doubt it. We are social chamelians to quote Ian Brown and I'd be very surprised if you act the same way in front of everyone.

    I tone wild stories down a bit in front of my partner and don't act the maggot as much around him, that doesn't mean I'm hiding anything or that I'm insecure.


  • #38
    Tacitus Kilgore
    Registered Users Posts: 2,128 ✭✭✭Tacitus Kilgore


    One of the keys to being a good communicator - being able to adapt to different peoples ways/preferences/accents/colloquialisms etc.

    Not sure if anyone else notices my differences, but with the amount I adapt even just my voice on the phone to people (mostly in a business context) I almost feel like I have Schizophrenia at times.


  • #39
    greenspurs
    Registered Users Posts: 10,212 ✭✭✭✭greenspurs


    Porklife wrote: »
    Far from insecure dude, no need to worry about me :)

    So your are just fishing for stories then?
    247469249_2017413731748359_7675802031635703098_n.jpg

    "Bright lights and Thunder .................... "



  • #40
    xi5yvm0owc1s2b
    Closed Accounts Posts: 1,325 ✭✭✭xi5yvm0owc1s2b


    Porklife wrote: »
    I've known my friend since childhood and we've been through the mill together.. bereavements, weddings, breaks ups, break downs. I'm in no way acting around him, I'm being completely myself.

    Many would argue that there is no such thing as an authentic self buried deep inside the layers of personas, roles, and other performative selves we regularly display to our bosses, colleagues, spouses, friends, and relatives. The notion of being "completely yourself" may be nothing more than a comforting illusion.


  • #41
    Porklife
    Registered Users Posts: 1,681 ✭✭✭Porklife


    Just to add to people calling me insecure for posting this, I wouldn't want to be around these here parts cos seemingly no matter what I post I get berated and insulted. This is a lighthearted Friday afternoon thread and Gimme a Pound and others are insulting me out of nowhere. Christ, next you'll be telling me to join a club, leave my partner and get counselling!

    Lighten up folks, I meant no harm for gods sake, it's just a self observation and I wondered if others did the same thing.. is all.. so leave my maturity and insecurity levels out of it! :pac:


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  • #42
    Porklife
    Registered Users Posts: 1,681 ✭✭✭Porklife


    greenspurs wrote: »
    So your are just fishing for stories then?

    Yes.. that's the point of AH... discussion and debate. What's your problem? Jesus!


  • #43
    witchgirl26
    Registered Users Posts: 2,054 ✭✭✭witchgirl26


    I suppose I would have a little bit at the start with my partner and vice versa but 8 years later and living together most of that, I just couldn't be arsed. He's seen me at my absolute worst and my best in those years. I know that he can be a bit....cruder in his humour I suppose when he's around his friends but as we often all socialise together, I do see that and it doesn't bother me as I know it's just how they've always all been with each other.

    I don't bother trying to be something I'm not around people who know me well as it's not worth it. Now that said, there are times I'd love to slap some of them but I don't and smile and nod but that's a bit different. That's just not being a d*ck.


  • #44
    Ariadne
    Closed Accounts Posts: 1,149 ✭✭✭Ariadne


    I'm more myself with my partner than I am with anyone else. Though having said that I did keep a lid on the crazy at the start and let it seep out gradually :D I couldn't live with someone and hide who I am though, I wouldn't want to live like that.

    With friends I am pretty much myself, but everyone caters to their audience to a certain extent. With family there's far less cursing and dirty humour, a less vulgar version of myself, and most of them wouldn't be hearing my wild stories, though my missus and friends would alright.

    When I worked in the past I was very reserved and quiet and kept to myself, since my "true" personality wouldn't really be acceptable in an office environment.

    With strangers/acquaintances I am pretty chameleon like and just tend to go with what's being said. Like if they said it's a lovely sunny day I'll agree and not bother getting into the fact that I don't like the heat. Just easier than having that conversation.


  • #45
    Porklife
    Registered Users Posts: 1,681 ✭✭✭Porklife


    Succubus_ wrote: »
    I'm more myself with my partner than I am with anyone else. Though having said that I did keep a lid on the crazy at the start and let it seep out gradually :D I couldn't live with someone and hide who I am though, I wouldn't want to live like that.

    With friends I am pretty much myself, but everyone caters to their audience to a certain extent. With family there's far less cursing and dirty humour, a less vulgar version of myself, and most of them wouldn't be hearing my wild stories, though my missus and friends would alright.

    When I worked in the past I was very reserved and quiet and kept to myself, since my "true" personality wouldn't really be acceptable in an office environment.

    With strangers/acquaintances I am pretty chameleon like and just tend to go with what's being said. Like if they said it's a lovely sunny day I'll agree and not bother getting into the fact that I don't like the heat. Just easier than having that conversation.

    This is exactly what I mean, what a lovely post :)
    I love that you're more yourself around your partner than with anyone, made me smile.


  • #46
    valoren
    Registered Users Posts: 5,458 ✭✭✭valoren


    Familiarity breeds cuntempt i.e. the longer you know a person, the more acceptable it is to use words like 'cnut'.

    e.g. you enter a pub meeting a friend, you walk up to him and say "Alright you cnut?". He knows you're messing. You're just being yourself.

    versus

    Walking in for a job interview "Please to meet you, ya cnut!"
    Still being yourself but still looking for a job.


  • #47
    Cienciano
    Registered Users Posts: 14,215 ✭✭✭✭Cienciano


    ....... wrote: »
    Never understood it.

    I am who I am no matter who Im with.

    No you're not. And you don't understand why a bloke might act slightly different around a girlfriends parents or mother in law than he would when he's in the pub with his mates? You really don't understand that?
    Calling bullshít


  • #48
    Ush1
    Registered Users Posts: 11,461 ✭✭✭✭Ush1


    Porklife wrote: »
    Certainly not to be edgy.. Jesus Christ, what is it with some posters on here? It's Friday afternoon and I'm a bit bored a work. I started a friendly thread and as always, I'm getting stick of people. I've been called immature, insecure and now edgy :)

    It's just a lighthearted topic and was on my mind so I posted it. No hidden meanings or trying to be anything other than distracted at work! I'm just killing time till I can go home and after hours is a good place to do that albeit a little frosty at times. Cheer the f*ck up you c*nt!

    I'm quite cheery thanks. Don't let the door hit you on the way out.

    Also, the fact that you are asking the question why you modify this behaviour in front of another person, indicate YOU think it is edgy.


  • #49
    Baron Kurtz
    Closed Accounts Posts: 1,262 ✭✭✭Baron Kurtz


    Porklife wrote: »
    Having a few pints and a laugh is only for teenagers now is it? Get over yourself love :)

    That's not demure. Demure. Demure.


  • #50
    Gimme A Pound
    Closed Accounts Posts: 3,482 ✭✭✭Gimme A Pound


    Porklife, you did something you plainly didn't want to do, and you even said before that that you weren't sure you should in case he (who wanted it) would lose respect for you - wtf?!

    And I get enjoying being feminine with your man - it is more attractive - but feeling forced to be "demure" (modest, meek, timid) yet taking it up the ass when not wanting to. That's a little bit disturbing tbh. You appear to feel like you should be kinda subjugated and should put on an act, and "I need approval" all over the place. No partner is worth staying with if they compel the other person to have to put on an act.


  • #51
    Gimme A Pound
    Closed Accounts Posts: 3,482 ✭✭✭Gimme A Pound


    Oh and women who are all "I'm sweet and girlie... giggle!... But I'm actually a filthy bitch" are really annoying.

    They're obviously not comfortable with their promiscuity.


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  • #52
    Tacitus Kilgore
    Registered Users Posts: 2,128 ✭✭✭Tacitus Kilgore


    Brycen Black Refrigeration wrote: »
    Oh and women who are all "I'm sweet and girlie... giggle!... But I'm actually a filthy bitch" are really annoying.

    'Bitter?'


    "Yup - bit him too"


  • #53
    Gimme A Pound
    Closed Accounts Posts: 3,482 ✭✭✭Gimme A Pound


    Tacitus Kilgore wrote: »
    'Bitter?'


    "Yup - bit him too"
    How is disliking a vacuous persona bitter? Shur loads of men dislike those kinda airheads too.


  • #54
    Bigbagofcans
    Registered Users Posts: 1,164 ✭✭✭Bigbagofcans


    Brycen Black Refrigeration wrote: »
    Oh and women who are all "I'm sweet and girlie... giggle!... But I'm actually a filthy bitch" are really annoying.

    They're obviously not comfortable with their promiscuity.

    We can blame Usher for his lyrics from 'Yeah' - "want a lady in the streets but a freak in the bed"


  • #55
    Tacitus Kilgore
    Registered Users Posts: 2,128 ✭✭✭Tacitus Kilgore


    Brycen Black Refrigeration wrote: »
    How is disliking a vacuous persona bitter? Shur loads of men dislike those kinda airheads too.

    What are ye on about, I asked if you bit her :confused:



    I'm only having the craic, I agree with you kinda - just wanted to shoehorn a simpsons joke in.


  • #56
    Gimme A Pound
    Closed Accounts Posts: 3,482 ✭✭✭Gimme A Pound


    Bigbagofcans wrote: »
    We can blame Usher for his lyrics from 'Yeah' - "want a lady in the streets but a freak in the bed"
    The virgin whore dichotomy - women who feel they have to comply with it are eejits.


  • #57
    suicide_circus
    Registered Users Posts: 19,802 ✭✭✭✭suicide_circus


    Counselor Deanna Troi : Your self-portrait is so practiced, so polished.

    Dr. Paul Stubbs : Yes. Isn't it, though?

    Counselor Deanna Troi : It's stretched so tight, the tension fills this room. And if you finally fail - I fear it will snap.

    Dr. Paul Stubbs : A good try, Counselor. But sometimes, when you reach beneath a man's self-portrait - as you so eloquently put it - deep down inside, what you find... is nothing at all.


  • #58
    Porklife
    Registered Users Posts: 1,681 ✭✭✭Porklife


    Brycen Black Refrigeration wrote: »
    Porklife, you did something you plainly didn't want to do, and you even said before that that you weren't sure you should in case he (who wanted it) would lose respect for you - wtf?!

    And I get enjoying being feminine with your man - it is more attractive - but feeling forced to be "demure" (modest, meek, timid) yet taking it up the ass when not wanting to. That's a little bit disturbing tbh. You appear to feel like you should be kinda subjugated and should put on an act, and "I need approval" all over the place. No partner is worth staying with if they compel the other person to have to put on an act.

    Why are you bringing up my other thread.. you seem very caught up with the fact that I had anal sex! I'm not going over this again, I had slight trepidation about it which is natural but I made the decision to do it. You keep saying I din't want to do it but you're wrong, I would never engage in a sexual act I didn't want to do. I also wasn't doing it for his approval, I was doing it for his pleasure and for mine too. I'm not seeking approval from anybody. You really seem to have it in for me and I've no idea why.

    I'm also not putting on an act in front of this guy. I'm myself around him just toned down a notch. What's wrong with that?

    You find it disturbing that I had anal sex? I find THAT disturbing to be honest. I'm a stranger on an internet forum, my sexual life should not distress you.

    You also implied that I act girly and vacuous... you really are way off the grid with that.


  • #59
    [Deleted User]
    Posts: 21,679 ✭✭✭✭[Deleted User]


    I am fundamentally myself no matter the company. What I mean by that is I still hold the same beliefs and values. I don't always show them however. With my boyfriend and close friends I am comfortable but in other situations I will filter, yet this doesn't mean acting different. There's an awful lot to be said for authenticity OP. Be who you are.


  • #60
    Deebles McBeebles
    Registered Users Posts: 5,745 ✭✭✭Deebles McBeebles


    There are people that will investigate you
    They'll insinuate, intimidate and complicate you
    Don't ever wait or hesitate to state the fate that awaits those who
    Try to shake or take you
    Don't let them break you

    You can do anything you want to do
    It's not wrong what I sing it's true
    You can do anything you want to do
    Do what you want to


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  • #61
    Muckka
    Registered Users Posts: 498 ✭✭Muckka


    Bigbagofcans wrote: »
    We can blame Usher for his lyrics from 'Yeah' - "want a lady in the streets but a freak in the bed"

    We all know what happened to usher, turned out he loves to share the love....

    Wasn't he involved in some controversy over a sharing his tokens of love with some poor misfortune....


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