Buying a new build as a gay couple in Kilcock

LegacyUser · 02-02-2021 10:54pm #1

Perhaps I’m over thinking it, but what are the odds these that you’ll buy a new build and move in to next door neighbours who are homophobic?

I’m buying a house with my partner in kilcock and I’m a little apprehensive that we will be known as “the gays” by the neighbours and worse again that we will share a party wall with people that are not accepting.

I know it sounds quite short sighted or maybe even over the top, but I’m just a little apprehensive of spending 400k+ on somewhere that we may not fit in.

We’re living in Maynooth as is and potentially the only gay couple in our apartments and honestly have never had issues. I’m hoping it’ll be no different in kilcock and hopefully it will be mostly our generation buying new builds in the estate. It’s just a niggling thought in the back of our minds.

Has anybody else gone through the same recently or should we just suck it up? I don’t want to sound like a whinge bag either, I just let my mind wander into ridiculous scenarios with these things with both of us having grown up in rural villages.

Maybe this would be better in the Accomodation and property forum? Thank you!

mr.anonymous · 03-02-2021 3:31pm

You might dislike your neighbours or they might dislike you for lots of reasons.

I doubt homophobia will be a problem and perhaps it's less likely in a more urban area?

If it is a problem, it's their problem though. You can just get on with your lives.

Annasopra · 03-02-2021 10:02pm

I think you are unnecessarily assuming the worst catastrophe to be honest.

Get Real · 03-02-2021 10:07pm

I'd have no issue with it OP, and I doubt the majority of any sane person in Ireland would.

There will always be people of course like that unfortunately. But if they think like that, they're probably arseho1e neighbours in more ways than one anyway.

I think the odds of this happening are extremely slim, but if it were to, it's no more a chance than moving to any area and having difficult neighbours. Those types that need to have a difficulty anyway, be it about a hedge, or wheelie bin storage, or children playing. Or on the worse end, drug dealing, criminality, no fcks given for the rest of the area. Best of luck with your purchase, where ever it may be!

LegacyUser · 03-02-2021 10:18pm

Thanks everybody... I know I’m over thinking it and overreacting as usual and everything will be grand finger crossed. Excited to get out of the apartment and into the house now!

I suppose realistically there’s far more chance that the neighbours will be just as nervous about moving into a new estate also

Tig98 · 04-02-2021 9:56am

There's no more reason to suggest that your new neighbours would be more likely to be homophobic than anyone else youd encounter in the office or in the shop.

Just go for it, if there was a proven threat then you would be right to be cautious, but dont impede yourself based on an imaginary enemy.

Gael23 · 17-02-2021 1:14pm

Luck of the draw. You could buy in a 20 year old estate next to fundamental Christians just as easy

howtotellthem · 18-02-2021 4:44pm

I came across your post and couldn't help but reply. I and another same-sex work colleague got together, in a small, very rural community. My worry was not really for us but for my children. Anyway, long story short, we're now 3 years on, living together and not only did we not get any negative comments, (beyond a few stares) ever but neither did my children - so whatever people might be saying behind our/your backs, it seems Ireland is a moving on.

LegacyUser · 06-03-2021 4:01pm

It’s funny you should mention this, as my husband and I just went sale agreed on a new build in Kilcock and we were worried about the same thing. Not necessarily about Homophobia, but more that we would be fish out of water coming from the city and being ‘the only gays in the village’. I think it’s just a worry built in to us from past experiences and by the looks of it, we’re not going to be the only ones anyway!

[Deleted User] · 08-03-2021 1:45pm

I live just up the road from you in Maynooth in a three way MFF relationship and for the most part we have gotten absolutely no issues and nor have our children.

We do have an incredibly religious neighbor next to us though who certainly has an issue with us and our relationship. But actually we can go weeks or even months sometimes without ever seeing him or crossing paths with him. So it has never been an issue for us really.

In fact the encounters we have had with him - such as him sprinkling holy water over the fence onto our land and praying for us - have actually been very entertaining and have given us a great laugh over the years.

Aside from him however I can think of no negative issues we have had in more than a decade living here.

L1011 · 08-03-2021 11:18pm

Plenty of LGBT residents in Kilcock already. I'm in Maynooth, lived with my partner for 11 years now, 9 years as owner next door to someone exceptionally religious (one of the lay organisers in the local RC church) who has absolutely no issue with it.

bilbot79 · 08-03-2021 11:31pm

If this is a common concern you could inspire other gay couples to move there and next thing you know Kilcock is a bastion of tolerance.

branie2 · 13-03-2021 11:19am

Don't worry; you could have nice neighbours

NeuralNetwork · 13-03-2021 9:25pm

You could get the complete opposite too. I’ve an elderly relative in her late 80s who was over the moon when a gay couple moved in a few doors away.

She’s convinced she’s living in a trendy area, that it’s great to see and made the most *enormous* fuss over them. I think the lads were nearly embarrassed. She’s even baked iced Pride cakes! I don’t know if it was appreciated or intrusive but she’s basically adopted them.

Deseras · 13-03-2021 9:26pm

Buy detached. House

wheresthebeef · 17-03-2021 9:28am

Bought our house in Maynooth last year in a new estate and as it turns out there are 3 LGBT households on our road of 19 houses alone. Don’t worry. Your neighbours are likely to be other young couples and you’ll be just fine. It’s Kilcock, not Alabama.

Zebrag · 17-03-2021 10:17am

Hi OP

I would rather my neighbours were decent and nice to chat to regardless of being gay, straight, purple, green or liked to have thousands of people in their home (bearing the noise level of course!)

I judge a person on who they are personally not their sexual oriantation. You could be the nicest person on the planet with a heart of gold and be gay, straight, you name it or you could be the neighbour from hell due to other factors like constant parties and loitering and still be gay, straight, upside down or left handed.

You're the only one focusing on the sexual oriantation side of it. If your neighbours have an issue with you being a gay couple, that's their perogative. You're within your rights to have a roof over your head and live the life you want. If you want to strut down the road like RuPaul or live a quiet and quant life, go do you.

Like a previous poster stated about their granny adopting a gay couple, it's really not that big of an issue I feel and my nanny is absolutely dying for one of her grandkids to come out so she can show them off

Good luck in your new home OP :-)

Tig98 · 17-03-2021 10:24am

doughef wrote: »

<Snip>

While I completely agreee that OP may just be a prick who will rile all his neighbours up the wrong way, anyone who has experienced homophobia will never lose that fear. Its no harm in asking people what they think of the area.

I know in my own city that there are rough areas I wouldnt recommend any young couple to move into, especially a gay one as they would be easy targets.

a clanger · 17-03-2021 11:27am

Years ago I learnt that gay men were a godsend if you were renting property. They were house proud, neat and good neighbours (and decorators). On the opposite end of the spectrum were single women sharing. Who's ability to consume electricity and create thinly veiled squalor never ceased to amaze. Anyone shelling out 400K for a house is going to be happy (maybe after some time) if they have good community focused neighbours who like themselves have invested in the area.

Gael23 · 17-03-2021 10:42pm

a clanger wrote: »

Years ago I learnt that gay men were a godsend if you were renting property. They were house proud, neat and good neighbours (and decorators). On the opposite end of the spectrum were single women sharing. Who's ability to consume electricity and create thinly veiled squalor never ceased to amaze. Anyone shelling out 400K for a house is going to be happy (maybe after some time) if they have good community focused neighbours who like themselves have invested in the area.

So there is a hung that say guys are obsessed with cleaning 😂

Guy0012 · 18-03-2021 9:12pm

I get the feeling! Myself and my partner (gay male couple) bought a new build in Kilcock in the last year. Also was unsure about what would happen with neighbours. No problems whatsoever! Your just as likely to have rude, or noisy neighbours! We have found Kilcock to be perfectly LGBT friendly. No issues whatsoever.

appledrop · 18-03-2021 9:19pm

I think in a new build you would very unlucky to have homophobiac neighbours.

Usually younger people who buy new and are someone being gay wouldn't even register with them.

Kilcock is a good choice as more urban than some parts of Kildare and plenty of new builds happening at the moment so you certainly won't be the only gays in the village that's for sure.

carasco_rasco · 19-05-2021 9:53am

Deseras wrote: »

Buy detached. House

I second that , total freedom and you don't have to care about anyone nor what anyone thinks.

Girly Gal · 23-05-2021 7:48pm

You can be lucky or unlucky with the neighbours you end up with, regardless of sexual orientation some people are just nightmares to live near. Most people in general are fine and will mind their own business, so, you'll need to be really unlucky to end up beside a bad neighbour. I really don't think being a gay couple will be an issue for any of your neighbours and for those that do have a problem they'll probably just ignore you anyway, so no loss there.

Buying a new build as a gay couple in Kilcock

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