QOTW: Homophobia / Bullying

yellum · 15-02-2003 10:37pm #1

Just have to say that since this forum was set up it has been very productive so far and we have seen some tremendous posts - thanks everyone.

I'm going to post a Question Of The Week each week and see what peoples opinions are and what advice they'd give. The best information can later be put into an faq and put into a sticky.

So this week the question is:

Homophobia / Bullying: If it happens what to do, how to stop it, why its done. I'd like particular emphasis too on teenagers if anyone can contribute on what should be done in schools.

Annasopra · 16-02-2003 12:26pm

Right I think that the reason there is Homophobia is because of lack of information, awareness and understanding

Someone that I know came out to his parents and they reacted extremely badly but now they're okay about it

In schools bullying can be extremely bad, Research that I've been recently reading found that 57% of LGB people had reported some form of problem in school. I think the first thing that should be done is that teachers should be given information which promotes awareness and anti homophobia, I'm very much looking at this at a national policy level because I think change needs to start from the top

The Equality Authority are proposing a code of practice which will be mandatory for all schools and will lay down steps to be taken if there is bullying or discrimation on the basis of a students sexual orientation and eight other grounds such as race, gender, religion, age etc

I also think that the Union of Secondary School Students could be encouraged to draw up an anti homophobia policy and trained in LGB and anti homophobia issues,

Heres my own experience: I was called every name under the sun in school, I was asked the most disgusting questions, I was frequently blanked and once or twice physically hit,

When I was in second year in school my parents realised what was going on and complained to a teacher, the teacher placated them and told them the problem would go away. It never did and I managed to convince my parents that everything was ok. Five years later when I left that school I remember thinking I'd left hell

Even now this still affects me I only came out 6months ago, 5 years after I left school, I still feel uncomfortable in social situations because I get scared of whether other people will like me or not. Because I never had any close friends in school, I stiill find it difficult to make friends however things are starting to get easier. Since I've told a lot of people in college noone has negatively reacted

Yellum, this QOTW is a really good idea

lordsippa · 16-02-2003 1:04pm

First: Good idea Yellum.

Second: Being as I am in sixth <shudder> year, and having only realised that i was really bi over the last few years it was kinda odd in my old school. I told my three best mates. One is sorta shocked but ok, one is taking it well - rips the piss occassionally but in a friendly way; and one treats it like a scandalous secret that's the juiciest bit of gossip he's ever had... but if the rest of my school had found out i'd have been a dead man. It was a really horrible feeling not being able to bounce about and be... well... pleasantly camp or jokingly flirt with guys i know... so i left. Changed school and from the outset let all my social group know i'm bi and act how the hell i want so people have no preset ideas about me. Fortunately I'm in the institute so it works, but otherwise I doubt i'd be able to go in everyday. Which is kinda shít.

Basically the point I'm trying to make is that even hiding things in secondary (which is what anyone who doesn't enjoy having the piss ripped out of them does) is almost as bad as regular beatings. You feel like you're living in some repressive facist state, where you have to conform and be insanely careful about how much of your inner self you reveal. It's hideous. Change is needed.

As regards what's to be done... hopefully what ya just mentioned will work out. <crosses fingers>

On a sidenote... isn't it great how there haven't been any horrible trolls here goin on bout "ya fag5" and stuff... They just stick to admin.

yellum · 16-02-2003 2:06pm

If you want to have your name on public record I think you can actually make an official complaint. I was just reading this page here and it seems to say schools have to follow these rules too since they are in essence a service provider.

Are you a Service Provider? i.e. are you engaged in any of the following activities: providing goods or services, are you a landlord, school, college, shop, bank, insurance company, travel agent, restaurant, pub, licensed club, cinema, or public service body?

If so you should be aware that the Government brought in a law imposing obligations on you not to discriminate against consumers in any of these areas. The Equal Status Act, 2000 came into operation on 25 October 2000.

Now this mostly concerns refusal of service but I wonder could you get them on their inability to provide a service that guarantees the health and safety of a student.

Johnnymcg I think getting the Union Of Secondary Students to do something like you mentioned is a very good idea. The USI campaign could be used as a template for them.

Yeah I hope the QOTW works well, I do have ulterior motives though.

I'd hope to collate the good info into articles for the Gay Youth project I mentioned to you.

Damien

yellum · 22-02-2003 6:20pm

Originally posted by yellum
Homophobia / Bullying: If it happens what to do, how to stop it, why its done. I'd like particular emphasis too on teenagers if anyone can contribute on what should be done in schools.

Inside the Mind of those that hate Gays

Homophobia Fact Sheet from StopHomophobia.org

How homophobia hurts :

Here are some of the ways that everyone is hurt by homophobia/heterosexism:

Homophobia locks all people into rigid gender-based roles that inhibit creativity and self expression. We all have to fit into the categories or boxes, whether we are gay or straight.

Homophobic conditioning pressures heterosexual people to treat others badly, to go against their basic humanity. Learning to treat some groups of people badly makes it easier to do the same to other groups too. Nobody wants to live in a world structured around hatred and intolerance.

Homophobia inhibits everyone's ability to form close, intimate relationships with members of one's own sex. All of us watch ourselves and restrain ourselves from expressing our positive feelings towards people we care about.

Homophobia restricts communication with a significant portion of the population and, limits family relationships. It breeds divisions and competition, and makes family members strangers to each other. It breaks families apart.

Homophobia prevents some lesbian, gay, bisexual, and transgender people from developing a real self identity. It adds to the pressure on them to marry, which places undue stress and oftentimes trauma on themselves as well as their heterosexual spouses and their children. It creates families based on false expectations.

Homophobia is one cause of very early sexual involvement. This increases the chances of teenage pregnancy and the spread of sexually transmitted infections. Young people of all sexual identities are pressured to become heterosexually active to prove to themselves and others that they are 'normal'.

Homophobia combined with sexphobia (fear and repulsion of sex) means we cannot talk about the lives and sexuality of lesbians, gay men, bisexuals and transgender people people as part of school-based sex education. We keep vital information from all students. This lack of information can kill people or have lifelong complications with HIV/AIDS and other health conditions. These conditions are not limited to lesbians, gay men, bisexuals and transgender people.

Homophobia can be used to stigmatise, silence, or target people who are seen by others as gay, lesbian, or bisexual, but who are heterosexual. It doesn't matter how you identify - what others think, say and do is what affects you.

Homophobia prevents heterosexuals from accepting the benefits and gifts offered by lesbians, gay men, bisexuals and transgender people: theoretical insights, social and spiritual visions, arts and culture, religion, family life, and all facets of society. There is along list of non-heterosexual people who have greatly contributed to society despite this exclusion and discrimination.

Homophobia (along with other forms of oppression such as racism and sexism) blocks a unified and effective governmental and societal response to AIDS.

Homophobia diverts energy from more constructive endeavours. We could be using the energy and effort which goes into hatred to build a better world.

Homophobia hinders appreciation of other forms of diversity too. This makes it unsafe for everyone. Each person has unique traits that may not be considered mainstream or 'proper'. We are all diminished when any one of us is demeaned.

A perpetrator of homophobic violence may be charged and convicted with a criminal offence. Police take this crime seriously. This limits the perpetrator's life opportunities and whole future. It causes distress, shame, loss and grief to their families and friends. Most homophobic violent perpetrators are young - they lose

Targets of homophobic bullying are just as likely to be heterosexual as gay or lesbian. Anyone could be bashed, raped (both males and females) or even killed.

Promoting tolerance and social justice reduces the chance of young people becoming 'criminals'. Many people who go to prison will return there again and again. Bashing lesbians, gay men, bisexuals and transgender people may be the first stop on a criminal career.

There is a link between homophobia and the very high youth suicide rate. About 10% of young people are not exclusively heterosexual, but they have few opportunities to discuss their true sexual selves. This affects the health and the well being of all young people whose friends and classmates die or attempt suicide.

QOTW: Homophobia / Bullying

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