do words hurt you?

Whitewinged · 04-01-2016 12:30am

Sometimes they do and sometimes they don't. Words I suppose will emotionally have an effect on someone no matter who those words come from. For example if you get a compliment, it probably will lighten your day a bit but if someone insults you, it might make you feel a bit upset. It just depends on how much weight you put on the other persons opinion, whether or not it will have a greater, lesser or mild effect.

There are so many different scenarios. Have you hurt that person by saying or doing something first?, are you close to the person or is it a stranger?, did it seem like they really meant to say it? Why did they say, what did they say etc.

Also there are going to be different kinds of hurt, like someone may be hurt at being told something that is true about themself so not hurt by the actual words but more the realisation of whatever home truths have been highlighted or someone saying something that makes you realise the problem is not you but you are hurt that they are not the person you thought they were, dissapointed with the person and that they thought it was ok to speak to you like that etc.

Each case would always be different circumstances and that depends what my reaction would be to harsh words.

Aint Eazy Being Cheezy · 04-01-2016 12:36am

Generally no, they don't. People can say things in the heat of a moment, and when a situation calms down they retract them. Being ostracized or ignored is far worse, knowing that someone isn't being driven by passion or emotions and is making a conscious decision to avoid you, that really stings.

hullaballoo · 04-01-2016 12:58am

It's not the words though. It's the sentiment that hurts.

My father died before I was born and in school, I got, "clap handies, clap handies 'til daddy comes home" and the like. Those words don't hurt until you realise the intent behind them. It was so deliberately intended to hurt me.

brokensoul84 · 04-01-2016 1:00am

mickstupp wrote: »

Words can certainly hurt me, depending on the person who says them. But so can the lack of words.

You hit the nail on the head mick.
Silence can be more tortureous.

A few innocent words could drive someone over the edge.

MRnotlob606 · 04-01-2016 1:11am

I would like to sit on a porch right now, with Natalie Portman cXasTXOX.jpg . I will eat a chip butty with her and we can listen to Rod Stewart together. I will insinuate that we can have some fun time later on in the night, and will make snide innuendos about films she has appeared in.

V is not for Vendetta , V is a crucial part of the female reproductive system, wink wink Natalie, I will be stretched out waiting for her in my Thomas the tank-engine onesie. I have a feeling she likes infantilizing men with a passion for miniature locomotives.

coolbeans · 04-01-2016 1:19am

MRnotlob606 wrote: »

I would like to sit on a porch right now, with natalie portman. I will eat a chip butty with her and we can listen to Rod Stewart together. I will insinuate that we can have some fun time later on in the night, and will make snide innuendos about films she has appeared in.

V is not for Vendetta , V is a crucial part of the female reproductive system, wink wink Natalie, I will be stretched out waiting for her in my Thomas the tank-engine onesie. I have a feeling she likes infantilizing men with a passion for miniature locomotives.

That worked a lot better in your noggin than on the page my man

wakka12 · 04-01-2016 1:30am

I think about negative comments for days, they might even crop up in my mind from time to time months or years later if they were particularly hurtful

sixfingered · 04-01-2016 2:21am

It only affects me if it's someone that I have respect for and believe they're a reasonable person who doesn't throw out insults for no reason.

I feel really bad for people who get upset about criticism from random people/difficult people. It's generally not the "victim's" fault but they feel the brunt of it and the perpetrator usually doesn't apologise and the cycle repeats.

When I was younger I was so stupidly loose-lipped, thinking everyone had similar thought processes to me. Wish I could go back and undo a lot of things I said and attitudes I had.

DivingDuck · 04-01-2016 2:38am

hullaballoo wrote: »

Those words don't hurt until you realise the intent behind them. It was so deliberately intended to hurt me.

I agree with this completely.

I'm not easily hurt by words/insults, but sometimes I find it really depressing to think about how much people enjoy hurting one another for absolutely no good reason whatsoever.

I actually can't think about it for too long because it wrecks my head and makes me begin to doubt whether there's any point to anything at all.

sixfingered · 04-01-2016 2:53am

DivingDuck wrote: »

I agree with this completely.

I'm not easily hurt by words/insults, but sometimes I find it really depressing to think about how much people enjoy hurting one another for absolutely no good reason whatsoever.

I actually can't think about it for too long because it wrecks my head and makes me begin to doubt whether there's any point to anything at all.

Generally, the reason is down to one of two things - they are just inherently terrible people (in which case, who cares what they say) or else they're deeply insecure so need to abuse the power of circumstance to make themselves feel better.

So either way, as much as it stings, they're the ones in the worse position.

This perspective won't hit anyone as a child, when perhaps it makes the biggest impact unfortunately, but hopefully as people grow they'll have the opportunity to gain a perspective that will allow them to realise they themselves are actually the good guys.

DivingDuck · 04-01-2016 3:00am

sixfingered wrote: »

Generally, the reason is down to one of two things - they are just inherently terrible people (in which case, who cares what they say) or else they're deeply insecure so need to abuse the power of circumstance to make themselves feel better.

So either way, as much as it stings, they're the ones in the worse position.

This perspective won't hit anyone as a child, when perhaps it makes the biggest impact unfortunately, but hopefully as people grow they'll have the opportunity to gain a perspective that will allow them to realise they themselves are actually the good guys.

It doesn't make things much better as an adult, either. Being the good guy does not mean you are unaffected by the misery that others put out into the world. Even in the event that you could protect yourself from it (which most people can't, as evidenced by the fact that there are so many people in this thread saying the words of others hurt them), you have virtually no power to protect the people you love from them.

I'm very aware that people only do this because there is some source of unhappiness in their own life or something lacking in their own character. Unfortunately, that awareness does nothing to break the vicious cycle of misery that seems to be never-ending.

I just find it very depressing, but if it doesn't affect others as badly, that's probably a very good thing.

dd972 · 04-01-2016 3:01am

Don't believe there's such a thing as thick or thin skinned people, I've always found if you're in a good mood something quite offensive or insulting won't bother you but if you're pissed off something much smaller can.

the_pen_turner · 04-01-2016 3:10am

words can really hurt

im very thick skinned.
on building sites everyday really toughens you up.
most of it is banter and joking trying to get a rise. that's alright. well up to a point anyway

I remember one day on site we were all having the craic and winding each other up getting rises. all innocent enough and above the belt but still fairly cutting . everyone was great ,no problems . after work me and a few lads form the job were hanging out and one other friend. there was a small bit of craic and jest .

then the friend said something to me . he said it jokingly but was serious . he really cut deep and was totally out of line. he knew where the weakness was and went for it. unprovoked I might add.
I totally flipped and we had a big row . I still remember that evening and never forgave him

the thing is that what he said wasn't that bad. all day the lads were saying much worst but he wasn't joking . he did it to hurt
the day after the lads on site were shocked at my reaction to what was way less than what they had said that day .
I explained and we went back to slagging each other

I don't buy into the whole offence is taken not given . you can totally mean to offend someone .

Mesrine65 · 04-01-2016 4:21am

Words are weapons sharper than knives

The Devil Inside INXS

Squeeonline · 04-01-2016 9:42am

"The truth told with bad intent, beats all the lies you can invent."

I think William Blake said that but I'm not sure and too lazy to google.

AnonoBoy · 04-01-2016 11:23am

I'm a sensitive soul. I've been reduced to a sobbing wreck by five simple words in the past.

"We find the defendant guilty."

harry Bailey esq · 04-01-2016 3:03pm

Canadel wrote: »

Holly Carpenter's do.

Who?

bnt · 05-01-2016 4:08pm

I tend to judge people by what they say, so if someone says something hurtful to me, it's like they're flicking a switch in my brain. From that moment on, everything they ever say is subjected to extra scrutiny for anything hurtful or otherwise suspicious. It doesn't matter what the situation is or how much time has passed - they're forever on my s#!t list because of what they said, and can never be trusted again.

do words hurt you?

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