The Doctor is in

Great question buddy, to start with congratulations on being our 1st and 2nd customer, and I need to advise you that your bill has already been settled ( I have emailed an invoice to hello@boards.ie. (privileges of being a mod and porn-star combined).

Next That mole has done you no wrong and under the European charter of human rights - living upon a human entitles you to the same rights as the human you live upon, therefore your mole shall henceforth be called DiegoElDiablo, and you will be happy to know that he will have to pay rent, although you will now have to pay a personal property tax for your own body from now on :pac:.

Finally you have already ingested my super nanobots as I have cleverly dispersed them in the most ingenious and fiendish method possibl...did I forget classified, anyway these wonderfully addictive nano's will make you feel super strong while actually making you very weak, not that you have any choice but to keep taking them as they also become a poison if not ingested weekly.



NEXT

C.K Dexter Haven wrote: »

Not much of a Doctor thread, this. Typical, ask a question today, get an answer when they return from their fitness to practice hearing:rolleyes:

Actually all I wanted to know is if I could have a few sausage and bacon rolls now and again- not everyday mind, just once in a while

Fine, I have been in a whole 20 minutes and seen one patient, I have not had enough whiskey to wake myself up yet, but sure I will see another patient this week.
Unfortunately I will be forced to triple the price - 9 unguis sculptures.

Now your Symptoms seem very clear, I have not seen a case quite like this one.

But I do remember an occasion during one of those tedious Fitness To Practice hearings, a colleague I met while on trial for gross misconduct, He assisted me to extract a demon from the judge. In all fairness I do think they would have executed me that time, if I had not sensed the presence of a Demon in the courtroom. Once again proving that having the only qualification to see and excise demons in a room saved me. This fellow practitioner was merely a novice in exorcism though I found his help most rewarding on that occasion.

After securing my freedom, we reconvened to the pub to celebrate a job well done, when he spoke of an amulet, whose trail he had been following through a mysterious and blood soaked thread all the way back to 1996 where it's story began.



Legend has it the amulet was crafted from the world cup stolen in 1983, Rumored to contain an incantation to summon Michael Collins heself. He went on to tell me about how he traced the amulet, with his wife of 15 years, for the past 15 years! But while together they managed to unearth the key to the amulet - at which point he showed me the key



Which of course he wrapped in a silver silk scarf. He recalled vividly how upon touching the key his wife melted into a pool of goop, It really was fantastically concise yet it had such simplistic thorough detailing of the environmental factors to drag you right into that cave in the shadowy light watching as she locked eyes with him twice, before letting his blood from her dagger, fall into the center of the dais unlocking it, finally allowing her to plunge her hand inside the prison to release the key. And the way he described her look of realization to know her final error as the corrosive acid began its easy task, was amazing to hear.

During a brief pause in the story, while at the bar ordering two more drinks, I realized I was a bit bored of this story and decided to call a taxi


Next

C.K Dexter Haven wrote: »

Where's Doctor Foster. I always see Doctor Foster in this surgery:(

Doctor foster has been fired for dukeing the stats, calling dead patients who were actually alive, The health system is a numbers game and we have to make sure that enough people are dying every day, as there is a lot of hungry mouths to feed!

When choosing a foundation for your patio, people is the most obvious choice, although if you are planning on keeping cock-horses around it will be necessary to make a very deep foundation as they will dig up the patio to get to the delicious bodies. also as a side note if you can it is advisable to leave the arms and legs protruding from the foundation to support a table and chair set which will look fantastic.

As for the growth on your knee, I believe it is a fungal infection, which is nothing to worry about for at least 2-3 hours. After that you will begin to turn into...

2 YEARS! Well that is the last time I take some of my own medicine!

What the hell is with the mess in here, my patients are wearing thin! none of them were fed or cleaned.
ck.......CK.........NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO. That is the last time I go playing HorsePoloGolf in the middle of an everythingButTheBigToe transplant.

Oh sweet Zombie Jesus, you've got it!

Introducing the all-new fandangled patent-unending CRACK-WINDOW

This should sort the easily placated from the thrill seekers!

( Your service provider has deems this emoji to be, too damaging and graphic
to be viewed by, you, anybody you know and other. )

I am sorry friend but it looks like your time is up! It is almost tuesday morning, which means I am almost 12 hours overdue om my midweek halfweek vacation. Bon Somthing!

How is anybody supposed to get some therapeutic screaming done round here with all this noise.

Fine next patient, please show your mental card to Dolores at the front desk.

Nurse ratchet is skating on very thin ice with her overindulgence with electro shock...



That is why there are straps on all the chairs and water on the floor.

BUZZ...BUZZBUZZ

Nice Calm patients.

owing to the less than busy patient lounge...


FREE euthanasia with every consultation!!

act now while offer lasts!!