I’m always so frugal with money

antimatterx · 15-11-2019 11:08pm #1

I hate spending money all the time. I don’t mind treating myself, but I can never spend money instantly. I always wait weeks and think about spending money, I’m not spontaneous with it:

I’m 23, and work as a software engineer. For my first year working (8 months, as I was unemployed for the last 4) I was making **** money. I took it for experience. Some regrets, but not loads.

I’m on my second job now. I make 32K, and live my parents so I bank 1500-1800 a month in savings. I want to by a PS4 this weekend as a treat for myself. I’ve been in my new job 5 months, and have 10K banked. The purchase is €300.

Should I buy it and stop being so stupid

Rodin · 15-11-2019 11:09pm

antimatterx wrote: »

I hate spending money all the time. I don’t mind treating myself, but I can never spend money instantly. I always wait weeks and think about spending money, I’m not spontaneous with it:

I’m 23, and work as a software engineer. For my first year working (8 months, as I was unemployed for the last 4) I was making **** money. I took it for experience. Some regrets, but not loads.

I’m on my second job now. I make 32K, and live my parents so I bank 1500-1800 a month in savings. I want to by a PS4 this weekend as a treat for myself. I’ve been in my new job 5 months, and have 10K banked. The purchase is €300.

Should I buy it and stop being so stupid

Yes.

ILoveYourVibes · 15-11-2019 11:15pm

Yep

Whereisgalway · 15-11-2019 11:16pm

antimatterx wrote: »

I hate spending money all the time. I don’t mind treating myself, but I can never spend money instantly. I always wait weeks and think about spending money, I’m not spontaneous with it:

I’m 23, and work as a software engineer. For my first year working (8 months, as I was unemployed for the last 4) I was making **** money. I took it for experience. Some regrets, but not loads.

I’m on my second job now. I make 32K, and live my parents so I bank 1500-1800 a month in savings. I want to by a PS4 this weekend as a treat for myself. I’ve been in my new job 5 months, and have 10K banked. The purchase is €300.

Should I buy it and stop being so stupid

Hold out for the PS5

Purple Mountain · 15-11-2019 11:16pm

I hope you are contributing to your parents too.

antimatterx · 15-11-2019 11:20pm

Purple Mountain wrote: »

I hope you are contributing to your parents too.

They won't take money off me, so I just try pay bills when I can. I've paid €500/600 in vet bills over the last few months, I brought them to a show for my mums birthday, I paid for brothers college registration fee.

Markcheese · 15-11-2019 11:24pm

Depends, have you a plan for your savings?
If you're buying the the PlayStation cos you want it, but won't be able to enjoy it because of feeling bad about spending the cash, then you have a problem ,

antimatterx · 15-11-2019 11:27pm

Markcheese wrote: »

Depends, have you a plan for your savings?
If you're buying the the PlayStation cos you want it, but won't be able to enjoy it because of feeling bad about spending the cash, then you have a problem ,

Buy an apartment in a couple of years, and start some investments once I have enough in a reserve fund.

Abba987 · 15-11-2019 11:30pm

antimatterx wrote: »

They won't take money off me, so I just try pay bills when I can. I've paid €500/600 in vet bills over the last few months, I brought them to a show for my mums birthday, I paid for brothers college registration fee.

Buy the playstation

anacc · 15-11-2019 11:31pm

antimatterx wrote: »

I hate spending money all the time. I don’t mind treating myself, but I can never spend money instantly. I always wait weeks and think about spending money, I’m not spontaneous with it:

I’m 23, and work as a software engineer. For my first year working (8 months, as I was unemployed for the last 4) I was making **** money. I took it for experience. Some regrets, but not loads.

I’m on my second job now. I make 32K, and live my parents so I bank 1500-1800 a month in savings. I want to by a PS4 this weekend as a treat for myself. I’ve been in my new job 5 months, and have 10K banked. The purchase is €300.

Should I buy it and stop being so stupid

Get married and have kids then in a few years come back and read your post and have a good cry.

Purple Mountain · 15-11-2019 11:36pm

antimatterx wrote: »

They won't take money off me, so I just try pay bills when I can. I've paid €500/600 in vet bills over the last few months, I brought them to a show for my mums birthday, I paid for brothers college registration fee.

Good man!

antix80 · 15-11-2019 11:41pm

antimatterx wrote: »

Should I buy it and stop being so stupid

Yes!! The premium one, extra gamepads, the top 5 games and an online subscription. My god.. Life's too short. In a year's time you could still flog it for a fair whack.

Maybe you developed the unhealthy attitude through earning rubbish money and trying to save for a rainy day...

Don't think about an elephant. What happens? You think of the elephant.

Thing about saving towards a rainy day is you're actually not making a safety net. You're creating an obsession with money while meandering towards the "rainy day"

So you have 10k.. What did you save it for? Why are you still living with your folks?

Create a habit of having a meal or a coffee and pastry out once a week, something you fancy without worrying about the price.
And on payday, set amount an amount to spurge. Maybe 5 to 10 percent of your net pay that you have to spend on something without going to a huge effort to get a discount or shop around.. You have to spend it unless you're actively saving for something equally cool but more expensive.

If your parents contributed towards your tightness (by praising you for being "good with money", or by grand gestures but no regular pocket money, or by being bad with money themselves) make sure you're not just overcompensating in your relationship with money. Parents are usually shockingly bad at this stuff.

wiggle16 · 16-11-2019 12:23am

antimatterx wrote: »

They won't take money off me, so I just try pay bills when I can. I've paid €500/600 in vet bills over the last few months, I brought them to a show for my mums birthday, I paid for brothers college registration fee.

Buy yourself the playstation.

If you NEED to rationalise it, tell yourself it will be good for the economy and the VAT will go back into the pot

You're 23. Buy yourself the bloody playstation.

bluelamp · 16-11-2019 12:29am

antimatterx wrote: »

They won't take money off me, so I just try pay bills when I can. I've paid €500/600 in vet bills over the last few months, I brought them to a show for my mums birthday, I paid for brothers college registration fee.

You wouldn't do those things if you were stingy.

You're just too careful with money. Allocate some money every month just for nice things and for having fun, and make sure you spend it.

Have a bit of fun before you have actual financial responsibilities.

antimatterx · 16-11-2019 12:30am

antix80 wrote: »

Yes!! The premium one, extra gamepads, the top 5 games and an online subscription. My god.. Life's too short. In a year's time you could still flog it for a fair whack.

Maybe you developed the unhealthy attitude through earning rubbish money and trying to save for a rainy day...

Don't think about an elephant. What happens? You think of the elephant.

Thing about saving towards a rainy day is you're actually not making a safety net. You're creating an obsession with money while meandering towards the "rainy day"

So you have 10k.. What did you save it for? Why are you still living with your folks?

Create a habit of having a meal or a coffee and pastry out once a week, something you fancy without worrying about the price.
And on payday, set amount an amount to spurge. Maybe 5 to 10 percent of your net pay that you have to spend on something without going to a huge effort to get a discount or shop around.. You have to spend it unless you're actively saving for something equally cool but more expensive.

If your parents contributed towards your tightness (by praising you for being "good with money", or by grand gestures but no regular pocket money, or by being bad with money themselves) make sure you're not just overcompensating in your relationship with money. Parents are usually shockingly bad at this stuff.

I saved it because I want to be ****ing rich and to do that I need capital to invest. If I splurge consistently, I'll always have less money to work with than I should have. Maybe it's a said approach to life, but I don't like treating myself often. The though of spending 10% of my paycheck everymonth on a treat makes me feel sick. Maybe every few months is OK.

I live with parents as I'm not ready to move out. I'll miss them, my brothers and my pets. I also don't want to rent. I'd rather buy 1/2 bed apartment, and living at home gives me the option to save, and I'll probably be able to buy one in 2/3 years

antimatterx · 16-11-2019 12:32am

bluelamp wrote: »

You wouldn't do those things if you were stingy.

You're just too careful with money. Allocate some money every month just for nice things and for having fun, and make sure you spend it.

Have a bit of fun before you have actual financial responsibilities.

I'd be more frugal than stingy. I hate spending loads of money often, it makes me sick. The best way I can describe it is, some people get their highs from traveling, or going out every week. I get it from seeing my bank account ticking upwards every month

antix80 · 16-11-2019 1:47am

antimatterx wrote: »

I saved it because I want to be ****ing rich and to do that I need capital to invest.

You usually won't be rich as a paye worker in ireland. Esp not once you're paying 52% tax, a mortgage and raising kids, and even if you put all that off til you're 40 and your job stays steady and your investments perform well... You still won't be rich. You'll just debate whether you should pay your mortgage down or put more into your pension.

Best bet is to squeeze as much from your parents as you can and move city/job to where the biggest opportunities are.

A big mortgage, demanding lifestyle and a competitive career path/environment is usually the best incentive to maximise your income, and that will often translate into higher pension contributions.

In the meantime, buy the PlayStation.

LegacyUser · 16-11-2019 2:12am

I wish I was more like you but unfortunately I’m the complete opposite. Buy the PlayStation! If you have it you might as well spend it, enjoy it and don’t feel bad about it. it’s better than pissing it into a pub toilet a few nights a week. Or spending 15 quid on a pack of smokes that will damage your health. I earn a decent wage, have minimal savings but plenty of nice things.

qwerty13 · 16-11-2019 4:23am

You’re assigning your happiness exclusively to watching your bank balance. If that makes you genuinely happy, then fire away. However, it seems that it doesn’t make you wholly happy - you want to make a relatively small purchase, and feel guilty.

I don’t think either being completely frugal or completely spendy is a recipe for happiness. A bit of balance is needed. So buy the game stuff if it is going to give you enjoyment.

But you should consider why your views are so extreme re money. Especially as you’ve said that you like living at home. So it’s not a ‘happiness’ need. Is it that you’re valuing money greater than your current and future happiness so much, that you’ve become a little obsessed?

2pacshakur · 16-11-2019 5:02am

Life is for living and your only 23. A lot of people your age could be spending a grand a month on going out two or three nights a week getting pissed and spending a ton on rent with no savings whatsoever and only start thinking about the future when they hit 30.

And if your happy living with your parents stay living with your parents.

Splash out on nice things OP, once your not wasting it on beer or snorting it every weekend then buy whatever you want. Obviously within reason.

[Deleted User] · 16-11-2019 7:07am

Was like you for quite a while OP. Saving tens of thousands I had no need for. Finally realised that spending a bit more on things I like while still being good with money was the best way.

Why live like a pauper most of your life just to have a bit more when you're older. You won't even want to spend this perfect balance you grew over the decades. You'll have the miser mentality of not wanting to ruin all those years of frugality with a silly purchase. Buy the yacht? Nope. Buy the classic beemer? Nope. Travel the world? Nope.

It's practical but the best time to spend money on things you enjoy is when you're young. A playstation is a few days savings. Buy the thing and maybe start to really think about what it means to be rich, and how many decades you're willing to sacrifice to get there.

robbiezero · 16-11-2019 10:25am

Be careful it doesn't warp into outright stinginess.
Its one of the worst attributes of a friend or partner and once you get a name for it, it is very hard to shake it off.

utyh2ikcq9z76b · 16-11-2019 10:28am

It would be stupid not to hold on till black friday at this stage and get a good deal.

It's a NO from me

KaneToad · 16-11-2019 10:36am

Nothing wrong with being frugal OP. Not spending money can be as satisfying as spending money, for some people. Spenders will be jealous of you and call you stingy. Ignore them, it's your money - do what you like with it.

The_Conductor · 16-11-2019 10:59am

Being frugal is a virtue. Being stingy- is a totally different matter.
You seem to have an irrational attraction to growing your bank balance- alongside an unhealthy reticence towards spending, even modest amounts, on enjoying life.

With respect of the PS4- thats just one item- and its not a particularly expensive item- a decent flatscreen to go with it, games, online subscriptions etc- all amount to a lot more than the 300 you're suggesting (and no- its not fair to monopolise the television at home- don't even try to rationalise it).

From the little you've imparted here- you sound like you have an irrational and unattractive attachment to your bank balance. Being intelligent with your money- does not mean locking it up in Fort Knox- nor does it mean going out 3 nights a week and getting pissed- it means finding a middle road that allows you to enjoy life and make the most of the resources at your disposal.

Also- something that got my goat with your examples of recent expenditure- you paying the vets fees. Yet you mention *your* pets. I'm sorry- it sounds like you're too used to Mommy and Daddy paying for every little thing for you- and are happy for them to continue to do so.

Most people at your age have moved out from home, are probably living in a house share or renting a bedroom- and are making their way in the world. You seem to assume that this is not for you- and are happy to grow your bank balance at your parent's expense.

Life is short, and money does not bring happiness (well, it does for some people- however, are they truly happy?)

The whole procrastination over whether or not to buy the PS4- speaks volumes.

Life is for living- you have opportunities many others can only dream of- esp. parents who are willing to let you live on in the family home- there is so much you could be doing- yet your preoccupation is with growing a bank balance, its what your little heart desires.............money...........

I'm sorry- but you really could do with growing up. I don't mean to be harsh- but you're obviously not getting the message.

popa smurf · 16-11-2019 11:24am

At 23 you should be working on getting your own place. Work hard if they is overtime going take it, if not get a second job if you can, get on that property ladder. Your at your peek in fittness and in health don't wast a second of it sitting on your arse playing silly games.

antix80 · 16-11-2019 11:26am

popa smurf wrote: »

Your at your peek in fittness and in health don't wast a second of it sitting on your arse playing silly games.

You missed the bit where he said he was a software engineer

Peatys · 16-11-2019 11:37am

Ps5 coming in 12 months, buy this to tide you over
http://www.adverts.ie/19070019

antimatterx · 16-11-2019 12:00pm

The_Conductor wrote: »

Being frugal is a virtue. Being stingy- is a totally different matter.
You seem to have an irrational attraction to growing your bank balance- alongside an unhealthy reticence towards spending, even modest amounts, on enjoying life.

With respect of the PS4- thats just one item- and its not a particularly expensive item- a decent flatscreen to go with it, games, online subscriptions etc- all amount to a lot more than the 300 you're suggesting (and no- its not fair to monopolise the television at home- don't even try to rationalise it).

From the little you've imparted here- you sound like you have an irrational and unattractive attachment to your bank balance. Being intelligent with your money- does not mean locking it up in Fort Knox- nor does it mean going out 3 nights a week and getting pissed- it means finding a middle road that allows you to enjoy life and make the most of the resources at your disposal.

Also- something that got my goat with your examples of recent expenditure- you paying the vets fees. Yet you mention *your* pets. I'm sorry- it sounds like you're too used to Mommy and Daddy paying for every little thing for you- and are happy for them to continue to do so.

Most people at your age have moved out from home, are probably living in a house share or renting a bedroom- and are making their way in the world. You seem to assume that this is not for you- and are happy to grow your bank balance at your parent's expense.

Life is short, and money does not bring happiness (well, it does for some people- however, are they truly happy?)

The whole procrastination over whether or not to buy the PS4- speaks volumes.

Life is for living- you have opportunities many others can only dream of- esp. parents who are willing to let you live on in the family home- there is so much you could be doing- yet your preoccupation is with growing a bank balance, its what your little heart desires.............money...........

I'm sorry- but you really could do with growing up. I don't mean to be harsh- but you're obviously not getting the message.

Most people my age have not moved out. The vast majority of people I was in school and college with are still at home.

The_Conductor · 16-11-2019 12:09pm

antimatterx wrote: »

Most people my age have not moved out. The vast majority of people I was in school and college with are still at home.

Those who are still living at home, but have a good job, are normally making meaningful contributions towards the household budget. Its not fair or reasonable to expect Mommy and Daddy to sub you forever.

dellas1979 · 16-11-2019 12:33pm

I dunno - I was always a good saver myself. I get a kick out of it too.

I would think about buying something, and then set it aside, think about it some more, then possibly buy it.

What would lead me to buy something is: Is it good quality/made well, would I use it more than once, would it give me happiness/pleasure-is it an investment in myself. I don't deny myself. I could be dead tomo.

So instead of buying many pairs of badly made shoes, I would buy a more expensive pair that would last me (lady here!). Same for clothes. I also only buy what I need. I have 3 pairs of shoes (one for work-leather/good quality, one going out shoes, one pair of fancier shoes (expensive pair).

I don't need to buy things to "fill me". I really don't understand (never have) why people need to buy various styles of the same thing...

At the same time, when I was 30, I spent savings on buying a brand new spanking car. Fabulous car and I still have this car. I had had enough in savings to buy it straight out - and still have savings left, but I decided to take out a small loan with a very low interest rate against the car as previous to this, I had no credit history. I was thinking even then, if I want a bigger loan/mortgage in years to come, this will show bank my ability to pay off a loan. And per below, now I am in the mortgage game.

I also decided to put money into travelling, to expand my knowledge - an investment in me. I travel maybe 3/4 times a year now.

I also saved up enough to build a house. I have partly paid for the house using savings, paid architect myself, paid electricity and water connections, bathroom ware and kitchen myself, and kept some back as a small cushion.

During my lifetime, I was on the dole for 8/9 months, and paid all the rent, and still managed to save. Might be e50 a month, but still all added up.

My next quest (its almost like a challenge) is when the house is done is to save up some extra money over next 3.5 years, and when my fixed rate is over, pay off another small lump sum off mortgage. I do all that on a fairly modest salary-nothing big.

I dunno-as I said at the start, I was always a good saver and thought about where my money goes, and if its worth it. I never deny myself anything that would make me comfortable/happy, as it is an investment.

I’m always so frugal with money

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