Moved back to Ireland and questioning it!

It was a nice day to day so off myself and my dog went for a drive. A couple of hours down the road and I ended up here. I live in Cork city and most of the scenery from Cork to there was pretty amazing.

I understand those that are saying they are finding it hard to settle back in Ireland. Everything is bigger and sunnier in Aus and it will take some time to readjust. I even understand why some would rather live in Aus over Ireland. However to say Ireland is a kip is completely over the top and I find it hard to take those comments seriously. We live in a beautiful country.

I also find it hard to take seriously when people say there is nothing to do here. Maybe in Rural Ireland. But live near Dublin, Cork , Galway and there is always something to do. I know in Cork there is always some kind of festival on.

I know the weather here isn't great. Especially compared to Australia. But I find its better to embrace than avoid it. Summers are pleasant here, it doesn't get hot (the heat isn't for me) And personally there is nothing I like more than going for a walk on an October/December morning when the sun is shining and the air is cool and crisp. Also there is something comforting about coming inside from the miserable wet weather to nice warm fire.


As for politics, I can't argue with that. I hate having to pay so much tax, for a debt that has nothing to do with me. But then again Aus has its problems too, Tony Abbott for one.

You will find good and bad in every country. You can choose to focus on the negative and you will find it. Ireland might be lacking a lot but its filled with a rich history and culture you won't find in Australia. We have a beautiful country with a generally laid back attitude. And the majority of people here are great.

My advice to those who have just returned, take some time to visit Ireland as tourist. Travel around the country a bit and see it from a different perspective.

CB19135 wrote: »

Id like to hear your opinion after uve spent 3 months at home!

After living in Ireland (Dublin) for 40 yrs , and returning once , sometimes twice every year since moving to Australia ..Think I know what to expect!.....All im saying is, it takes a lot more to make a heart happy than the sun/beach....different strokes for different folks......

onmyway wrote: »

After living in Ireland (Dublin) for 40 yrs , and returning once , sometimes twice every year since moving to Australia ..Think I know what to expect!.....All im saying is, it takes a lot more to make a heart happy than the sun/beach....different strokes for different folks......

Thats exaclty what I thought! I visited home every year.. sometimes twice also!
But yes of course all down to individual :-)

Long Gone wrote: »

... You get muslim weather in Ireland - Sometimes it's Sunni, but usually it's Shi' ite !

that comment is dragging the discussion down but I have to admit I like it.

onmyway wrote: »

Howayas ...Well.. just found this forum and read the thread... Im sitting here in Sydney ..cant go out because its too hot.!! .Let me give you a bit of background , if your interested Lol.... Im from Dublin, Im 55yrs lady with 3 kids 6 grandkids ...5 sisters 2 brothers and a whole heap of friends & relations ....came to Oz 2010 to follow my first love after he legged it in 1979....(another story) lol...In my opinion , Sydney is not a better place, just different ...still have all the problems with drugs/alcohol/mental health issues that we have at home . My husband has worked here for 34 yrs ..owns his business and home ...worked his ass off for it ...Now , we want to go home ..and we are in the process of getting there ...and it really annoys me to read all the negative remarks ..everyone has a different story to tell...the amount of people saying "Its a Kip" ' Stay where you are" ..Never underestimate homesickness/ isolation/ no sense of belonging... Yes , Iv sat at Opera house looking at the harbor bridge in awe ....and it really is a beautiful place ... but I, to be honest find it boring and superficial, all centered around the afternoon Barbie/beach, favourite topic of conversation is how much you paid for such n such .. . In bed by 9.30 cos everyone has to get up at 5/6 to get to work most , 6 days a week.. hour drive each way .. Yep Sun is lovely ...but try working in it ..or carrying your shopping/kids ..different story believe me lol.....just my opinion .and maybe a little harsh.. but there ya go, we cant wait to get home ....

So are your family all in Ireland? You see I could not imagine living here without my children, although as they get older I know (hope) they will move out and get lives of their own, but, I can't imagine me moving away from them iykwim.

I am finding things very different to you. I have lovely friends, not superficial at all, we never discuss house prices or anything like that. We sit in the backyard until 11pm drinking wine while our kids play in the lovely warm evenings.

I also don't know anyone who works 6 days a week, but that said I know mostly professional people so I am not sure how many days a week tradies work, maybe they do work 6.

I hope you are happy back in Ireland, being homesick is terrible, and there really is no real cure apart from just going home.

jimd2 wrote: »

Not angry, I just just couldn't believe how you latched on to me basically saying I cannot comment on my life here.

Just to let you know as you seem concerned we have no interest in moving at the moment as we are living in a nice area, both have decent jobs and are mortgage free ha ha. If our children move abroad we may go for extended holidays then ha ha.

Regarding your two passports, I couldn't care less ha ha.

You sound really really silly.

catbear wrote: »

It's worthy of a pros and cons list.

Weather is a major con for Australia although a good summer in Ireland is heaven.

I remember last summer in Ireland - It was on a Tuesday.....

Long Gone wrote: »

This is a really great thread - One of the best I've seen on boards.ie in a long time.

Oh mother dear, I'm over here, I never will come back

What keeps me here is the rake of beer, the women, and the crack.....! .:cool:

Crack or Craic is the question judging from my short time in Australia.....

but agreed, good thread.

If you're born somewhere & grow to adulthood in that place, that's your nationality, regardless of where your parents come from.

I'm not sure what you're trying to say. That if your kids sounded different to you it would make you sad or you wouldn't love them as much?

Zambia wrote: »

I have kids and they are all Australian. They wont have my childhood, they will have their own. I would not call that a shame.

They will be Australian born of Irish parents a pretty common thing in Australia.

I have kids and they are all proudly Irish. The fact that they were born abroad (and speak with local accents) is completely irrelevant as far as they are concerned. Apart from that I agree with you - My kids are having a much better childhood than I had.

scouser82 wrote: »

Have been home for a year now, but stumbled across this thread so thought I'd give my story.

I was in Australia for over 3 years. Went out knowing nobody. I made some Irish/English/Welsh/South African friends etc, and it would break your heart when one by one they would leave. Then a year in I met a wonderful Australian woman and fell madly in love. I didn't feel too homesick until then. But once I had a girlfriend, the idea of settling long term started to become a serious option. I couldn't get comfortable with it no matter how hard I tried. I'm very Irish. Not only did I miss my family really badly, but I missed all the little things about being in Ireland. I found Australia isolating due to the distance from every other country, and the time difference (particularly for watching sport). A trip home half way during my time there only unsettled me much more when I got back to Australia.

I soldiered on though. An understanding girlfriend and her very generous family did everything to make me feel a part of their family. So many acts of kindness. But in a way those family gatherings made me miss my own family even more.

I was heavily involved in a particular sport during my time there and through it I made a lot of Australian friends and acquaintances. In many ways I was very settled. I wasn't one of the Irish who hung out in St Kilda with other Irish, and I knew if I lived there permanently I would have life long friends. This helped a lot.

I was on a 457 and after one year in this job (3 years in total in Australia) my role got made redundant. Despite wanting to be at home, I also didn't want to leave if that makes sense. I did everything I could to secure a new sponsor so I could stay in Australia with my girlfriend. But there was to be no joy. Visa expired, I went home for Christmas, and then came back for 2 months on a holiday visa to say my goodbyes to all.

The last week was unbearable pain. Saying goodbye to all the things I had grown to love, all the things that had become so part of my life. It was tough. This was only the warm up act though to the main heartache. Saying goodbye to my girlfriend at the airport was the most heart wrenching thing I have ever gone through. It was unbearable. The only thing that got me through that gate was the belief that I would see her again, as we agreed to try long distance.

Sadly the long distance didn't work. I couldn't get comfortable with the idea of living so far away permanently, and she is a complete home bird and made no effort to visit or move here, partly down to my uncertainty of where I wanted to settle. After 6 months of growing anxiety and ignoring the topic we faced it head on and broke up, after close to 3 years together. We were a great match, except for the one small but significant fact that we were both so close to our homes and families. This massive similarity was what split us up, due to geography, and nothing else.

I can rest knowing I couldn't really have done any more to stay in Australia, but to lose somebody who could well have been the love of my life is hard to take. I haven't spoken to her since the breakup, it's easier this way. But not many days go by where I don't think about her in some capacity.

I'm still far from settled, but I still really like being home, and I'll eventually get there I'm sure. Ireland is far from perfect, but the same applies to Australia. It's all very much depends on the individual. Think long and hard though before getting into a relationship with an Australian. I wouldn't swap a minute of it, but it can create a lot of heartache depending on the type of person you are.

Could you not just have got a partner visa with when you were in Australia with her? You dont need to be married to get it, you just need to show you are in a relationship together for at least 6 months.

MRnotlob606 wrote: »

... dystopia ...

nice word!

have you ever lived abroad?

This post is aimed at the OP, with whom I can totally empathise.

Firstly, I can tell you that it takes at least a year (probably a bit longer) to settle back in & reach the stage that you won't regret moving home & that you won't constantly be thinking how bad a decision you've made. You are (what I'd describe as) experiencing grief for a previous life. I realise that you were only away for a short period, but upping sticks is a major event especially when you have a partner & kids to consider, & any change in a 'life plan' comes with it's ups & downs.

It's not a matter of lowering expectations. Ireland & Oz are two completely different countries, both with their good & bad points - you knew this. You also knew that things were going to be different. It's a matter of reminding yourself why you came home. In your case it was primarily for work reasons, so it would be no harm to bear that in mind. Also, it's important that you talk honestly & frankly with your husband. Tell him exactly how you feel without constantly complaining. You don't say how he now feels, or how your children feel - it may be time to sit down, talk & find out. You say that your husband didn't like Melbourne, but that you loved it: only you know how much thought or compromise went into your decision to return to Ireland, whether it would have been possible for you to stay if he got alternative employment etc. etc.

There's no easy fix for how you feel, the only consolation is that it's perfectly natural to feel this way. My concern (for want of a better word to use to a complete stranger) is for your state of mind, your relationship with your husband & children & how it could possibly have an adverse affect on your future. Bear in mind that kids pick up on things from their mothers, so if you're giving off the impression that you're not happy it could rub off on them, which isn't fair to them. You also don't want your husband to think that he's somehow failed you & your kids. This is why it's imperative that you are both reading from the same page & that you don't get tempted to play the B Card (Blame Card).

Sit down, talk it through, come to a decision. Give it 12 months & if you still feel the same way then decide now that in 12 months you'll look into returning to Oz (if an option). Make a concentrated effort on a daily basis to try to make Ireland your home once again. The more effort you put in the more you'll get out of it plus you'd eventually have a stronger case to move away again if you've done everything in your power to make things work here. Weigh up the pros & cons in a years time. In the meantime, try to:

1) Concentrate on the positives (proximity to family, good education system) rather than the negatives (cost of car insurance, dog poop, childcare costs).

2) Integrate (social clubs, mother & toddler groups, sports clubs, community events) & make new friends.

3) Don't annihilate people (especially former friends) by constantly comparing things here to things in Oz - this can be hard, but you won't be doing yourself any favours by doing so. Bear in mind that former friends have lives too & the chances are that they have moved on with theirs while you were away.

4) Communicate openly & regularly with your partner about how you feel things are going, but in a structured fashion as opposed to constantly complaining.

Some of the above may come across as harsh so please don't be offended - I'm merely giving you advice that I wish someone had given me at the time. I made all of the mistakes that I mentioned above - I'm not saying that you are making them - just advising you not to. You've got to give yourself & your family the best chance in the here & now, so try not to dwell on the past. Plan ahead & look towards the future - if that involves returning to Oz in 12 or 24 months time then so be it, but give things time to work out here first.

Be Happy!

Well by the time you get this it may be irrelevant.living in Ireland now seems to be getting more difficult.we seem to pay so much for so little, ifyou haven't bought a place my advice is to return as soon as you can. I don't know much about Melbourne but its gotta better than here currently. there are 35 other pupils in my daughters class ,there is little gym equipment, my wife and myself are working around the clock to service our mortgage, but we just seem to be getting nowhere.
if your husband could regain employment in oz maybe you should go back, better healthcare system.
I brought my Australian wife back here in 2007, we bought an overpriced semi d, I left a permanent job with pension. I do love my irish family and they have helped us greatly over the past 8 years .but our life is miserable, shes had enough of the rain ,the house is worth nothing , my job is at risk ,we have no pension to speak of.my eldest daughter seems to be happy but something has to change. I do miss the aussie way of life, is it as expensive now as they say it is?


good luck with your decision