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Parents don't ever give me gifts. Adult children

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  • 18-11-2019 6:47pm
    #1
    loughlinfox
    Closed Accounts Posts: 5 ✭


    My parents are both aged, but my step-dad is still at his home and I spend a lot of time running around after him, dealing with his affairs and visiting my mother at a nursing home too. We were estranged for many years as my mother was very abusive towards me, but I thought that was all behind us. In most ways it is.

    Today, he told me there was to be no 'bloody gifts' as he couldn't be bothered to buy me something, and if I got him something he would have to. He's not on his uppers or anything - comfortably well off for a pensioner. I got myself a E4.99 bird house for my birthday and he paid for it two years ago. Otherwise, no cards, no nothing. I do gift - a sweater or something to him.

    He's actually not given me a gift or much of a thank you for anything. Is this acceptable. I find if very rejecting to open up the house to him at Christmas and spoil him, and be told I'm not worth a box of chocs from Lidl.


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    #2
    twowheelsonly
    Registered Users Posts: 2,268 ✭✭✭twowheelsonly


    "That's ok because as it happens I probably won't see you over Christmas as we're doing our own thing anyway....."

    Sounds toxic to me and I don't think he's deserving of your love, care or attention so why would you bother? .


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    #3
    loughlinfox
    Closed Accounts Posts: 5 ✭loughlinfox


    Well, I don't want to surrender to that..... but sometimes, yes, it does feel like being short changed to say the least. I actually want a 'woke' Christmas of less excess and we do, do that, but I'm actually having three dinners.... one for my mother with dementia, one for my Dad and one for the my little family of three - I think that's worth a petrol station bunch of flowers. Lol


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    #4
    matchthis
    Registered Users Posts: 1,868 ✭✭✭matchthis


    I’d still get him something, it’s Christmas and sounds like it’ll be the only gift he’ll get.


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