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How much drug/alcohol use would you tolerate in a partner?

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Comments

  • #32
    SaltSweatSugar
    Registered Users Posts: 414 ✭✭SaltSweatSugar


    To be perfectly honest, with regards to alcohol, I do think it's a much bigger issue for people than drugs. In my line of work, I've seen more fights and problems caused by alcohol than anything else. With the odd exception of course. And alcohol is completely legal.

    Personally, in the past few months I've started cutting back. I wouldn't ever have classed myself as a problem drinker but I started noticing if I got too drunk on a night out I would have lapses of judgement. It didn't happen often, and I never did anything bad, or violent, or get in trouble or anything like that. It came to a head when I was on holiday in America back in March and we were on the piss a few nights. I tried to interact with an ex on social media etc. I was absolutely mortified the next day and felt so crap about myself. I don't want to be THAT girl. I hated that feeling of doing something and then regretting it. I was in a bad place for a few months and although I wasn't drinking myself into oblivion, I felt that when I did drink, it amplified how crap I felt about myself.

    I also hate being hungover and feeling like I've wasted a day by being hungover.

    I still enjoy the odd drink, and a night out, but I've become more responsible with alcohol. I want to be with someone who feels the same.


  • #33
    ginandtonicsky
    Closed Accounts Posts: 710 ✭✭✭ginandtonicsky


    Pretty low tolerance tbh. Someone drinking every day would be a red flag for me. That's as someone who had a previous partner with addiction issues. It was painful, frustrating and destroyed my trust and self-esteem. Absolutely would never sign up for that again willingly.

    I'd not get involved with someone who regularly took Class-As either, on nights out or otherwise. Some people are fine with it, I just wouldn't be comfortable.


  • #34
    Scuid Mhór
    Registered Users Posts: 2,326 ✭✭✭Scuid Mhór


    baby and crumble wrote: »
    Look, OP, look at what you've written. Going from never having a drink to getting addicted to serious drugs and alcohol in 2 years is insane. You said you're repeating the LC - which presumably means you'll be doing your exams next year, at age 22, right?. What are you planning to do then? Because I can almost guarantee you, using drugs and alcohol on a daily basis is just not going to cut it in college. College is hard work. 4 years is a long time to get your degree. Holding down a relationship (which was your initial problem) is honestly going to be the least of your worries in final year. And tbh you'll already be seen as strange by your classmates because starting college you'll be 22/23. That's a mature student. And trust me your recovery abilities to manage heavy days/nights alters DRASTICALLY as you get older. That'll have a huge impact on getting to class, studying, handing in assignments.

    Even if you don't plan to go to college, do you seriously think you can hold down a 35 hour per week job, pay rent and live a normal life whilst spending time, money and energy trying to get sorted with booze etc? I don't know of any job that says it's ok to come to work intoxicated. So you run the very real risk of quickly loosing whatever jobs you can find.

    From the more detail you give each post, OP, I'd say a large proportion of women (obviously I can't speak for everyone) wouldn't go near you for a relationship with a 10ft pole. Trying to have a mature relationship with someone who is struggling to get their **** together (and you are, clearly struggling. No job, no money, repeating the LC at 21 and with a serious drug and alcohol dependency) is a no-go. Yeah, some 17 or 18 year old girls might think it's 'cool', but you're 21. Not saying you have to settle down with a mortgage and sensible shoes at 21, but after a certain point, most people (regardless of gender or orientation) just want someone sound, decent, and drama-free.

    Damning indictment, brilliant post. You literally notated everything I was thinking as I read through the thread.

    Abandon the drugs, get your exams, hit the gym and improve your life, OP. Drug use is acceptable when you have your life together. As far as it goes, you have pretty much nothing going for you. The drugs will only serve to impede your progress in life. Women are primarily attracted to status and you have nothing to offer anyone for a long-term relationship. You are ridiculously young, however, you have the entire rest of your life for things to go upwards. Don't mess this up for yourself, you're obviously an intelligent guy, you have so much potential. The fact that you're posting in this thread illustrates that you know deep down you need to get on top of this.


  • #35
    noubliezjamais
    Registered Users Posts: 253 ✭✭noubliezjamais


    Scuid Mhór wrote: »
    Damning indictment, brilliant post. You literally notated everything I was thinking as I read through the thread.

    you're obviously an intelligent guy, you have so much potential. The fact that you're posting in this thread illustrates that you know deep down you need to get on top of this.

    What makes you think I'm intelligent?

    At the moment, I haven't used any benzos/alcohol but that's because I have literally no money. Currently looking for jobs before my exam results in Mid-August.


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