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How common is it for people to never find an other half or have kids?

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  • Registered Users Posts: 5,111 ✭✭✭This is it


    Lasagne48 wrote: »
    A small minority, only a minority of men are sexually attractive to women.

    It's a tough cross to bare.


  • Registered Users Posts: 13,563 ✭✭✭✭Thelonious Monk


    Lasagne48 wrote: »
    The average 25 year old woman will have endless suitors who would have sex with her in exchange for nothing, the reverse is not true.

    You might think that but women I've known rarely have suitors they actually want to f*ck lining up.


  • Registered Users Posts: 24,693 ✭✭✭✭Strumms


    A friend of mine just recently passed away aged 50. The nicest kindest human being probably the planet ever saw.. an extremely good looking guy too, kind, hard worker (although I have a feeling this may have been to his detriment) yet....he seemed like the perennial singleton which was always a bit of a head scratcher... he definitely liked females, great personality yet he was backwards about coming backwards even, a man who chose words wisely and totally cared about others.. maybe that was his downfall but a weird life all the same, none of our friends or my family could EVER figure him out as regards love life..


  • Registered Users Posts: 4,701 ✭✭✭jam_mac_jam


    Lasagne48 wrote: »
    Lucky for us all that all men and all women do not think like a weird animalistic hive mind and what one person finds sexy is not what everyone of that sex does.

    Lucky for us nobody claimed that was the case. But I'm sure the same amount of men find a 30 stone woman sexy as a lingerie model, and the same amount women find short men sexy as tall men.
    Lasagne48 wrote: »
    Lucky for us all that all men and all women do not think like a weird animalistic hive mind and what one person finds sexy is not what everyone of that sex does.

    Lucky for us nobody claimed that was the case. But I'm sure the same amount of men find a 30 stone woman sexy as a lingerie model, and the same amount women find short men sexy as tall men.
    There are men, not many I agree who would rather the large lady. There is someone for everyone.


  • Registered Users Posts: 3,858 ✭✭✭Church on Tuesday


    NoteAgent wrote: »
    Its funny how the type of people who should be having kids, (high IQ, hard working, high income, good manners and traits), are the last to get married and have children and yet the least ambitious, laziest, most intellectually challenged get married as soon as they're out of school and end up having a ton of kids clearly when they shouldn't be having any.

    I know everyone should be allowed have children but its kind of sad when you see people who would be great role models end up with no kids.

    You should only aspire to have children if you have the means to support them.

    You're not doing anyone any favors if that is not the case.


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  • Who cares... I couldn’t name any of my great grandparents. Lineage means F all.

    Well.. without them you wouldn't be here..


  • Registered Users Posts: 13,563 ✭✭✭✭Thelonious Monk


    Well.. without them you wouldn't be here..

    Maybe I'm not here anyway. Are you? This could all be a simulation.




  • Well.. without them you wouldn't be here..

    Maybe I'm not here anyway. Are you? This could all be a simulation.

    Deep..


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 314 ✭✭Blinky Plebum


    I always find it odd that so many of the childless/childfree seem to get so uppity and overly defensive when someone here says life wouldn't be properly complete without children.

    I don't have any children and almost certainly never will but it's fairly obvious that if someone goes through the hassle of having and looking after children it's obviously a very important thing to them and so for someone like that it would be normal to say life wouldn't feel complete without children.

    If you're so secure not having children why the hell does it annoy you when people say it's an extremely important part of life.


  • Registered Users Posts: 19,802 ✭✭✭✭suicide_circus


    NoteAgent wrote: »
    Its funny how the type of people who should be having kids, (high IQ, hard working, high income, good manners and traits), are the last to get married and have children and yet the least ambitious, laziest, most intellectually challenged get married as soon as they're out of school and end up having a ton of kids clearly when they shouldn't be having any.

    I know everyone should be allowed have children but its kind of sad when you see people who would be great role models end up with no kids.

    yeah its odd. all these happy intelligent kind people depriving future generations of their genes and wisdom


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  • Registered Users Posts: 13,563 ✭✭✭✭Thelonious Monk


    yeah its odd. all these happy intelligent kind people depriving future generations of their genes and wisdom

    We can't all just multiply forever. Either we apply limits soon or war and famine will have to cull our numbers.


  • Registered Users Posts: 4,701 ✭✭✭jam_mac_jam


    There are too many people on the planet as it is so it's not a big deal if people decide not to continue their genes


  • Registered Users Posts: 4,701 ✭✭✭jam_mac_jam


    I always find it odd that so many of the childless/childfree seem to get so uppity and overly defensive when someone here says life wouldn't be properly complete without children.

    I don't have any children and almost certainly never will but it's fairly obvious that if someone goes through the hassle of having and looking after children it's obviously a very important thing to them and so for someone like that it would be normal to say life wouldn't feel complete without children.

    If you're so secure not having children why the hell does it annoy you when people say it's an extremely important part of life.
    They are not objecting to people saying children are important, it's saying children give meaning to life. Implying you are somewhat less important if you don't have a child.


  • Registered Users Posts: 10,558 ✭✭✭✭Fourier


    To be fair the people who like pet, get pet don't usually start on about how life's not complete without a pet, what's the point if you're not going to have a pet etc and then when you say no I just don't want a pet but my life feels perfectly complete start saying yes I understand, you do have to be a mature, giving, selfless person for it to work.
    I get your general point and agree with it, but I don't and never had a pet and have gotten lines like that from people who do/did. How you need to be "giving" or even stuff about not trusting people who don't have pets. In fact I've gotten it about plenty of things like many of us have about multiple things. Life choices in general bring out arseholes. I think your second paragraph in post #76 is very accurate regarding these things.


  • Registered Users Posts: 16,060 ✭✭✭✭iamwhoiam


    I always find it odd that so many of the childless/childfree seem to get so uppity and overly defensive when someone here says life wouldn't be properly complete without children.

    I don't have any children and almost certainly never will but it's fairly obvious that if someone goes through the hassle of having and looking after children it's obviously a very important thing to them and so for someone like that it would be normal to say life wouldn't feel complete without children.

    If you're so secure not having children why the hell does it annoy you when people say it's an extremely important part of life.
    Of course peoples own children are important to them . But that doesn’t mean that others life is not complete without children ? I have grown kids and grandchildren but would never be so arrogant to say that my life is any more or less complete than anyone else .
    We are all responsible for making our own lives as good as we can for ourselves .


  • Registered Users Posts: 5,111 ✭✭✭This is it


    I always find it odd that so many of the childless/childfree seem to get so uppity and overly defensive when someone here says life wouldn't be properly complete without children.

    I don't have any children and almost certainly never will but it's fairly obvious that if someone goes through the hassle of having and looking after children it's obviously a very important thing to them and so for someone like that it would be normal to say life wouldn't feel complete without children.

    If you're so secure not having children why the hell does it annoy you when people say it's an extremely important part of life.

    My life wouldn't be complete without my son, that's fine. The issue is when it's said that someone else's life is not complete without a child. That's horseshît.


  • Registered Users Posts: 13,563 ✭✭✭✭Thelonious Monk


    This is it wrote: »
    My life wouldn't be complete without my son, that's fine. The issue is when it's said that someone else's life is not complete without a child. That's horseshît.

    Well it would be if you never had him unless you lamented the imaginary children you never had which some people seem to do


  • Registered Users Posts: 10,558 ✭✭✭✭Fourier


    Well it would be if you never had him unless you lamented the imaginary children you never had which some people seem to do
    Man, why are you making these bizarre arguments?

    "I really love spending time with my wife"
    "Well you wouldn't if you never met her"

    "I love watching Marvel movies"
    "Well you wouldn't if they never made them"


  • Registered Users Posts: 13,563 ✭✭✭✭Thelonious Monk


    Fourier wrote: »
    Man, why are you making these bizarre arguments?

    "I really love spending time with my wife"
    "Well you wouldn't if you never met her"

    "I love watching Marvel movies"
    "Well you wouldn't if they never made them"

    It's not bizarre. It's in keeping with the discussion. Chillax.


  • Registered Users Posts: 10,558 ✭✭✭✭Fourier


    It's not bizarre. It's in keeping with the discussion. Chillax.
    I mean "why" as in what is the crux of them. Since one could say it about anything, does it say anything in particular about this issue?


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  • Registered Users Posts: 13,318 ✭✭✭✭Dial Hard


    Lasagne48 wrote:
    The same reason nobody cares about homeless men, men are expendable.

    Lasagne48 wrote:
    A small minority, only a minority of men are sexually attractive to women.

    And the thread was doing so well...




  • married and no plans to have kids

    most friends married and have kids

    we manage not to insult each other about the different situations, its amazing isnt it


  • Moderators, Society & Culture Moderators Posts: 3,022 Mod ✭✭✭✭wiggle16


    Lasagne48 wrote: »
    A small minority, only a minority of men are sexually attractive to women.

    Oh, tis yourself again :cool:

    Luckily only a small minority of people actually buy into that crap.


  • Registered Users Posts: 17,495 ✭✭✭✭eviltwin


    Lasagne48 wrote: »
    A small minority, only a minority of men are sexually attractive to women.

    Luckily I only need to be sexually attracted to one person - my partner


  • Registered Users Posts: 24,693 ✭✭✭✭Strumms


    I always find it odd that so many of the childless/childfree seem to get so uppity and overly defensive when someone here says life wouldn't be properly complete without children.

    I don't have any children and almost certainly never will but it's fairly obvious that if someone goes through the hassle of having and looking after children it's obviously a very important thing to them and so for someone like that it would be normal to say life wouldn't feel complete without children.

    For someone to accuse another person of not living a complete life because they haven’t got children is just arrogant and stupid.

    If you have children and that brings you a sense of ‘completion’ as well as happiness I’m genuinely super happy for you. If you however see somebody who doesn’t have kids and automatically think that equals living an incomplete life, that’s madness.


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 4,128 ✭✭✭dellas1979


    Well, there are lots of people who shacked up with their other half for one, or more, of the following reasons:
    - Fear of being alone
    - Fear of not being able to do things themselves
    - Woman just wants baby
    - Financial support
    - Status

    I have forgotton the question...


  • Registered Users Posts: 4,514 ✭✭✭bee06


    worded wrote: »
    Ever the romantic there kid :-)

    It gives life purpose having a kid or kids

    The same joy can’t be got from material things

    They also sh*t in the bath and leave you to clean it up so swings and roundabouts


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 13 xiba vajo


    NoteAgent wrote: »
    Its funny how the type of people who should be having kids, (high IQ, hard working, high income, good manners and traits), are the last to get married and have children and yet the least ambitious, laziest, most intellectually challenged get married as soon as they're out of school and end up having a ton of kids clearly when they shouldn't be having any.
    .

    they actually made a film about this, didnt turn out well...


  • Registered Users Posts: 483 ✭✭chuchuchu


    rireland wrote: »
    I often meet some women in their mid 30's who are single and planned on having kids. How common is it for them to not have them?

    I feel bad for them.

    I was on a date with one who was 35 and she said she had planned on having kids but it's too risky for her now.

    Even men and other women, how common is it for them to never find someone they love?

    I think women who really want children usually find a good guy quickly and settle down early in life, you wouldnt find them out on a friday/saturday night partying in the club, its just a quieter family orientated lifesyle they want. The other women tend to be career women, and prioritise their career/goals first and will put off having children until sometime in their thirties, because they want to be free in their twenties to travel and party and what not, without the responsibilities of raising children. There differently is a risk to having children later in life, for example a child's risk of autism rises with the age of the child's mother. I think older people will tend to reason things out, unlike some young people who may not know what their getting themselves into. And if you do reason it out - having children costs a lot of money and there is a risk too that the child may have a disability, or the relationship breaks down... they are many sane reasons to not have children. I think having children is a sacrifice that will pay off later in life, I knew a daughter who took care of her mother until death. So you take care of the children when their younger and they will take of you when your old and sick, thats the circle of life.


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  • Registered Users Posts: 3,739 ✭✭✭scamalert


    no need to be sad or pitty, if someone asks you about kids tell them you support at least 10, per person trough your taxes, as plenty people who have 4-7, so not a massive loss, plus paying taxes aside you dont need to deal with any crap :pac: its like those UNESCO things where you sign up to donate to some kid, but only ran by government initiative.


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