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Anyone else not want children?

  • 20-06-2013 12:25am
    #1
    VivaMessi
    Banned (with Prison Access) Posts: 39 ✭


    I'm 25 with my partner and the thoughts of having children makes me literally sick. Looking after them non stop till their 11 or 12. Then leeching money off you till they finish college or longer. Anyone else feel like this because I don't know what I'm gonna say to my partner when she wants to start trying. I never want children


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Comments

  • #2
    The Backwards Man
    Closed Accounts Posts: 18,299 ✭✭✭✭The Backwards Man


    I just want a girlfriend first, one step at a time like.:pac:


  • #3
    LizT
    Registered Users Posts: 29,089 ✭✭✭✭LizT


    Emmm... you should probably tell her now if it's a serious relationship. It's a fairly big choice and she deserves to know if you're not on the same page


  • #4
    carzony
    Registered Users Posts: 2,780 ✭✭✭carzony


    I'm 21 and i'd love to have a baby, I'm fierce emotional for a man :o:p


  • #5
    KeithM89
    Closed Accounts Posts: 3,557 ✭✭✭KeithM89


    VivaMessi wrote: »
    the thoughts of having children makes me literally sick.

    Projectile? And with bits of carrot too?


  • #6
    Washington Irving
    Registered Users Posts: 7,066 ✭✭✭Washington Irving


    carzony wrote: »
    I'm 21 and i'd love to have a baby, I'm fierce emotional for a man :o:p

    Just sell your girlfriend to this guy, OP.


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  • #7
    Itwasntme.
    Closed Accounts Posts: 1,754 ✭✭✭Itwasntme.


    I am with the No Babies crew.


  • #8
    SV
    Closed Accounts Posts: 9,534 ✭✭✭SV


    I think not wanting children in any shape or form is a bit of an evolutionary stepback tbh.


  • #9
    frozenfrozen
    Registered Users Posts: 7,878 ✭✭✭frozenfrozen


    yet... you don't want children yet.... but when you're a little bit older and more grow up you probably will. Don't write it off completely, you have to try everything once and all that. Sorry for all the only-childs out there, but you were that experiment, and you were either so great that they didn't want another, or well.. you know..

    :)


  • #10
    LizT
    Registered Users Posts: 29,089 ✭✭✭✭LizT


    frozenfrozen wrote: »
    yet... you don't want children yet.... but when you're a little bit older and more grow up you probably will. Don't write it off completely, you have to try everything once and all that. Sorry for all the only-childs out there, but you were that experiment, and you were either so great that they didn't want another, or well.. you know..

    :)

    That attitude annoys me, it's so condescending. A person can decide in their 20s that they don't want kids and never change their mind.


  • #11
    Cee-Jay-Cee
    Registered Users Posts: 12,235 ✭✭✭✭Cee-Jay-Cee


    I thought the same as OP when I was his age and when I was 30 too. It wasnt till I hit near mid 30's that I started to change my mind. I now have two beautiful daughters that I wouldn't be without for anything on this earth.

    If your absolutely sure that you will ever want children then tell your partner now. It's only fair that she knows before its too late.


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  • #12
    worded
    Registered Users Posts: 4,533 ✭✭✭worded


    The aboutsolute joy of your kids giggling and unconditional love for a few years at least. Ive never experienced such shared happiness.

    You may change your mind in the future OP. The fun with your kid on a weekend surpasses weekend after weekend on the piss.

    Each to their own. I respect your current view but it may change.


  • #13
    Ken.
    Closed Accounts Posts: 12,898 ✭✭✭✭Ken.


    I don't want kids. Where do i turn in the one i've got?.


  • #14
    December2012
    Registered Users Posts: 4,695 ✭✭✭December2012


    VivaMessi wrote: »
    I'm 25 with my partner and the thoughts of having children makes me literally sick. Looking after them non stop till their 11 or 12. Then leeching money off you till they finish college or longer. Anyone else feel like this because I don't know what I'm gonna say to my partner when she wants to start trying. I never want children

    Its too late to bring it up at that stage. You have to discuss it with her now before it crosses her mind. You never know, she might feel the same as you do. Plenty of people do.

    Parenting isn't for everybody and there's nothing wrong with that.


  • #15
    looking_around
    Registered Users Posts: 2,491 ✭✭✭looking_around


    while dating my partner, one of the first things I told him is that I will never have kids.

    It's important to get that out in the open as soon as possible..otherwise one person will always resent the other.. and it could cause some major problems and hurt in a relationship


  • #16
    Engine No.9
    Registered Users Posts: 1,128 ✭✭✭Engine No.9


    And you think you'll only be lookin after em 11 r 12 yrs... Scoff. You'll be lookin after em for life man.


  • #17
    uck51js9zml2yt
    Closed Accounts Posts: 18,268 ✭✭✭✭uck51js9zml2yt


    Scylla wrote: »
    Projectile? And with bits of carrot too?


    you forgot yo mention the nappy changing and not doing it we quiet fast enough to save yourself being covered in it.

    saying that,its been the best few years ever.


  • #18
    VivaMessi
    Banned (with Prison Access) Posts: 39 ✭VivaMessi


    Maybe it will change when I'm a bit older and calm down a bit cause I'm a bit wild :rolleyes: at the minute but she's kind of hinting now which is doing my head in. We are due to get married in October


  • #19
    gowley
    Registered Users Posts: 629 ✭✭✭gowley


    pajopearl wrote: »
    And you think you'll only be lookin after em 11 r 12 yrs... Scoff. You'll be lookin after em for life man.

    lol. agree totally. they give you serious hardship but imo nothing gives you more pleasure either. having kids was the best thing to happen to me.


  • #20
    Engine No.9
    Registered Users Posts: 1,128 ✭✭✭Engine No.9


    VivaMessi wrote: »
    Maybe it will change when I'm a bit older and calm down a bit cause I'm a bit wild :rolleyes: at the minute but she's kind of hinting now which is doing my head in. We are due to get married in October

    So yeve talked about marriage bit not about kids. Sounds like its a given for her mate. Ye need to have that talk now buddy. Not tomorrow,now!!!


  • #21
    Richard Hillman
    Registered Users Posts: 12,033 ✭✭✭✭Richard Hillman


    You dont win anything with kids


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  • #22
    Cienciano
    Registered Users Posts: 14,223 ✭✭✭✭Cienciano


    VivaMessi wrote: »
    Maybe it will change when I'm a bit older and calm down a bit cause I'm a bit wild :rolleyes: at the minute but she's kind of hinting now which is doing my head in. We are due to get married in October
    This is serious!
    Stop telling random strangers on the internet and tell the one person who this matters to. Nothing wrong with not wanting kids, and not something you should be doing if you don't want to.
    Obviously if your partner really wants to have kids, this could be the wedding off, depending on how much your partner wants them.
    You never know, your partner might not want them either.


  • #23
    markomuscle
    Closed Accounts Posts: 560 ✭✭✭markomuscle


    I do but I would get the governess to do the work whilst I sit and twirl my moustache.


  • #24
    seosamh1980
    Closed Accounts Posts: 1,126 ✭✭✭seosamh1980


    Are ye getting married in a church? Pre marriage course will sort all this out...would love to be in that group when realisation dawns on her! If you're having a civil ceremony for the love of God tell her now.

    I love babies, hate kids. Love playing with friends babies, after a couple of months I can't stand them anymore, running around, screeching, wrecking things, costing money, tying you down, ugh. Can see no pros to the situation at all.


  • #25
    gowley
    Registered Users Posts: 629 ✭✭✭gowley


    seosamh1980 wrote: »
    Are ye getting married in a church? Pre marriage course will sort all this out...would love to be in that group when realisation dawns on her! If you're having a civil ceremony for the love of God tell her now.

    I love babies, hate kids. Love playing with friends babies, after a couple of months I can't stand them anymore, running around, screeching, wrecking things, costing money, tying you down, ugh. Can see no pros to the situation at all.

    lol. dont knock till youve tried it


  • #26
    Cienciano
    Registered Users Posts: 14,223 ✭✭✭✭Cienciano


    seosamh1980 wrote: »
    Are ye getting married in a church? Pre marriage course will sort all this out...would love to be in that group when realisation dawns on her! If you're having a civil ceremony for the love of God tell her now.

    I love babies, hate kids. Love playing with friends babies, after a couple of months I can't stand them anymore, running around, screeching, wrecking things, costing money, tying you down, ugh. Can see no pros to the situation at all.

    Think if you write down the pros and cons for children to weigh it up, I can safely say kids aren't for you ;)


  • #27
    December2012
    Registered Users Posts: 4,695 ✭✭✭December2012


    If you really love her then tell her.


  • #28
    IrishEyes19
    Registered Users Posts: 1,861 ✭✭✭IrishEyes19


    I,m amazed that you are getting married and have never had this discussion before. surely that is the ONE discussion you have before matrimony is even considered. How have you managed to avoid that one for all this time out of interest?

    It is life changing, but for people who want kids, its life changing in the best of ways. Regardless of your wishes for kids or not, I think your description of money grabbing an minding them endless is a tad bit dramatic. Sure you have to protect and support them. But its a natural process that most people who want kids, want to do, because they love their children. I think thats the main thing here. Its like any relationship, you do things out of love. Id imagine caring for your children is no different.


  • #29
    Andy-Pandy
    Registered Users Posts: 1,848 ✭✭✭Andy-Pandy


    Tis the thing I want most in the world, I've just gone 36, most of my mates have kids and I wish I had someone to love enough to have a kid with. I'd seriously consider having a. Kid with someone outside of a relationship if i would be guaranteed right to the child. My worst nightmare would be having a kid but not being granted full accessfor whatever reason.


  • #30
    Lando Griffin
    Registered Users Posts: 2,952 ✭✭✭Lando Griffin


    You do know you get generous cash payments for having kids and play your cards right a house with a garden big enough fir a trampoline and some dogs?


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  • #31
    FizzleSticks
    Closed Accounts Posts: 2,172 ✭✭✭FizzleSticks


    This post has been deleted.


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