What's the etiquette here??

partyguinness wrote: »

There was a poster on here a few years ago who pulled a lady back to his place one night. Both hammered.

Anyway, he pissed himself in the bed but when he woke up he managed to swap sides in the bed and rolled her over onto the wet patch.

She woke up in the morning absolutely mortified thinking she wet the bed.

Quality.

That might be a perfect example of how to solve 99% of life's problems.

Fattybojangles wrote: »

Yeah I had a molly piss the bed on me one night just pretended to be asleep as she cleaned up around me could hear her cursing sobbing etc gave her another lash that morning deleted her number job done.

Aragh what harm sure? There's a whole contingent of lads that are into the aul "Squirting" these days, and sure it's nothing more than a big dirty piss anyhow. Lap it up they would. And the smell of Sugar Puffs about the place.

You did the right thing, sending her off bow legged the following morning. I tip my hat to you Sir

Fattybojangles wrote: »

Thank you sir I thought it was the gentlemanly thing to do but the best thing was it was her bed so no pissy mattress for me.

Like something straight out of a Barbara Cartland novel.

Hector Savage wrote: »

^^ make that 5 times, I mean FOR FUCKS SAKE!!!

Planning on attending a boardsie's wedding in the near future? :pac:

hank scorpio89 wrote: »

i made a rookie error of telling a close female friend this happened she laughed at me the proceeded to lecture about consuming so much porter.

Big mistake.
You do realise she's going to tell EVERYONE she knows, right? Maybe even a couple of people she doesn't know :eek:

You need to operate on a strict need-to-know basis with the fairer sex, H.

partyguinness wrote: »

There was a poster on here a few years ago who pulled a lady back to his place one night. Both hammered.

Ah I thought this was going to be the old one about the guy who tried a bit of back door action and she unleashed a gusher.

Good story nonetheless.

Fattybojangles wrote: »

Yeah I had a molly piss the bed on me one night just pretended to be asleep as she cleaned up around me could hear her cursing sobbing etc gave her another lash that morning deleted her number job done.

Brings a whole new meaning to who gets the wet patch.

Fierce dilemma here, lads. I've been holding on for the last hour. We are now into turtle head territory. The draw bridge is up and the defenses are holding up manfully against the forces of Mordor but every man has his limits.

1. It is bucketing down outside so I am loathe to go take the 5 minute walk to Tesco as I will get saturated and I have meeting at 3pm. No rain jacket or umbrella to hand.
2. Accounts lady is entrenched the other side of the stud wall partition housing the toilet so out- I would like to maintain the Captain of Industry visage.

As the photocopier is nearby, I could run off a 200 page document to drum up some noise but I am loathe to waste paper.

I am actually get cold sweats, tingles and cramps at this stage. Not sure how much more I can retain control of the situation.

partyguinness wrote: »

Fierce dilemma here, lads. I've been holding on for the last hour. We are now into turtle head territory. The draw bridge is up and the defenses are holding up manfully against the forces of Mordor but every man has his limits.

1. It is bucketing down outside so I am loathe to go take the 5 minute walk to Tesco as I will get saturated and I have meeting at 3pm. No rain jacket or umbrella to hand.
2. Accounts lady is entrenched the other side of the stud wall partition housing the toilet so out- I would like to maintain the Captain of Industry visage.

As the photocopier is nearby, I could run off a 200 page document to drum up some noise but I am loathe to waste paper.

I am actually get cold sweats, tingles and cramps at this stage. Not sure how much more I can retain control of the situation.

Well how did you get on ??

Hotblack Desiato wrote: »

Brings a whole new meaning to who gets the wet patch.

As I say, "If you swallowed it you wouldn't have to lie in it".

Hal3000 wrote: »

I think the security guard in our place was on the tinned mackerel or sardines last night. Unbearable stench in the first floor Jax this morning. Place was a no go for an hour or so. I think HR might have to send out a mail. Few complaints gone in. Few toilet refugees from the first floor aren’t been well received by the natives on the 2nd.

If using a toilet in the correct manner can become a disciplinary matter, then the world really has gone mad Ted.

Is there some sort of fart analyser available? Some sort of objective, measurable stench classification method is going to be required here in the interests of fairness and avoiding nasty publicity at the WC WRC.

But then producing foul odours will get classified as a disability, and "reasonable accommodations" must be made by the employer - a big fk-off Xpelair maybe.

In the meantime, build a wall and make the first floor employees pay for it

I think i have told the story of the bed pissing before.

Was a young fella and went to Equinox on a Thursday for students night. Got plastered and meself and the misses at the time went home 3 sheets to the wind. Well it ended up being sheets and mattress in the wind.

Woke about 5am covered in piss. Now I cannot say definitely who it was that let the bladder all over the bed but i was quick to get in with the accusation. First shots fired like, herself was morto but I told her it was ok, these things happen.

Ended up flipping the mattress and sleeping on a towel for the rest of the night. It was a rough start in work a few hours later

Hotblack Desiato wrote: »

Getting your retaliation in first. Well played sir.

It was your piss, wasn't it

I have no doubt, it definitely was his own. But he played it brilliantly

Hotblack Desiato wrote: »

You sick bastard.

Running into the "ladies", inhaling lungfuls of female fetid fent and getting high off on it.

Seek help.

You're half right there.