Boards.ie uses cookies. By continuing to browse this site you are agreeing to our use of cookies. Click here to find out more x
Post Reply  
 
 
Thread Tools Search this Thread
15-04-2019, 20:44   #706
rob316
Registered User
 
Join Date: Nov 2007
Posts: 9,801
I never get that your not allowed do what you want. As long as it's in reason why would the partner that supposedly loves you deny your enjoyment.
Id never tell my wife she can't do something nor would I expect her to tell me I can't do something
rob316 is offline  
Advertisement
15-04-2019, 21:01   #707
Autosport
Registered User
 
Autosport's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2011
Posts: 13,907
Quote:
Originally Posted by ancapailldorcha View Post
Very much so. I'm open to finding someone but I don't put that much effort in as I enjoy my own time quite a bit.
Ya see that's me, I love my own company and for me to let some one in they have to be just as good as me
Autosport is offline  
(3) thanks from:
15-04-2019, 21:57   #708
 
Join Date: Aug 2018
Posts: 1,301
Quote:
Originally Posted by ancapailldorcha View Post
What's depressing is that such people who expect the wit of a comedian, the body of an athlete and the intellect of an Oxbridge scholar all in one package have a tendency to bring absolutely nothing to the table themselves.
And that is the case here too. I think it's entirely irrational behavior. Surely it make no sense for a relatively average women, in terms of education, career, looks, and personality, to expect to pair off with someone who would be in the top 5 percent on every metric.
Raelynn Pitiful Minion is offline  
Thanks from:
15-04-2019, 22:18   #709
BBFAN
Registered User
 
Join Date: Aug 2018
Posts: 2,023
Quote:
Originally Posted by rob316 View Post
I never get that your not allowed do what you want. As long as it's in reason why would the partner that supposedly loves you deny your enjoyment.
Id never tell my wife she can't do something nor would I expect her to tell me I can't do something
Tbf this is all fine and dandy when you don't have kids but definitely changes after you have kids.

For example if you had 3 kids would you happy if your partner decided they needed 3 months off to travel the world?
BBFAN is offline  
Thanks from:
15-04-2019, 22:38   #710
This is it
Registered User
 
This is it's Avatar
 
Join Date: Mar 2019
Posts: 462
Quote:
Originally Posted by BBFAN View Post
Tbf this is all fine and dandy when you don't have kids but definitely changes after you have kids.

For example if you had 3 kids would you happy if your partner decided they needed 3 months off to travel the world?
There's a difference in doing what you want and living up to your responsibilities.

When I was younger I'd be saying to the lads "nah not this weekend, the OH wouldn't let me out two weekends in a row". I missed doing a lot of things with friends because I thought I had a set number of nights out, only so many free passes, etc. I thought we as a couple had to do everything together and the other half of those relationships thought the same.

It wasn't until recent years I was in a relationship where we did what we wanted, there was no fear of "fûck, how am I going to swing this night out/weekend away". It was never an issue. We spent loads of time together but knew we had our own friends from through the years and other parts of our lives from before we met that we didn't have to give up. This was normal for my OH at the time, it was completely new to me, and I can't overstate how much better life and the relationship was for it.
This is it is offline  
(2) thanks from:
Advertisement
15-04-2019, 22:45   #711
ancapailldorcha
Order! Order!
 
ancapailldorcha's Avatar
Quote:
Originally Posted by Autosport View Post
Ya see that's me, I love my own company and for me to let some one in they have to be just as good as me
Same here. Like today I was on annual leave so I spent the day in Essex checking out Roman Ruins, churches and a castle just out of sheer randomness.
ancapailldorcha is offline  
15-04-2019, 23:11   #712
rob316
Registered User
 
Join Date: Nov 2007
Posts: 9,801
Quote:
Originally Posted by BBFAN View Post
Tbf this is all fine and dandy when you don't have kids but definitely changes after you have kids.

For example if you had 3 kids would you happy if your partner decided they needed 3 months off to travel the world?
I have 2 and your example is not within reason obviously.

I'm talking about going away for a trip with the lads when I want, her the same with the girls. Doing things separately, it's important to a relationship.

I have friends in relationships and their partners doesn't let them do a tap without them.

Last edited by rob316; 15-04-2019 at 23:14.
rob316 is offline  
Thanks from:
15-04-2019, 23:18   #713
lainey_d_123
Registered User
 
lainey_d_123's Avatar
 
Join Date: Feb 2019
Posts: 667
Quote:
Originally Posted by ancapailldorcha View Post
Same here. Like today I was on annual leave so I spent the day in Essex checking out Roman Ruins, churches and a castle just out of sheer randomness.
There are plenty of women who'd love to do that with you. Or to leave you to it and go off and do something that interests them. I'd never any interest in being joined at the hip with anyone, must be stifling.
lainey_d_123 is offline  
15-04-2019, 23:26   #714
Sorry about that
Registered User
 
Sorry about that's Avatar
 
Join Date: Dec 2018
Posts: 295
My OH heads off whenever he likes, which isn’t very often, and I think it’s great. Being apart occasionally is definitely good for everyone, and we also have children. Our setup is a bit old-fashioned, in that I (gladly) gave up work, to be at home with our kids, so when I hightail it, it’s a bit harder on him because he’s not used to it in the same way as I am.

I really wonder about this business of one partner having to “ask” to go somewhere/do something independently, sounds like misery and definitely doesn’t exist even in my pretty traditional setup.
Sorry about that is offline  
Advertisement
15-04-2019, 23:29   #715
corks finest
Registered User
 
Join Date: Nov 2010
Posts: 4,230
ATM I've a smallie 5 days a week since he was 2 and a half,now 16 so I'm happy to have just us both,miss the sex sometimes, companionship at times but overall settled -dont miss the nagging extra money worries etc
corks finest is online now  
16-04-2019, 09:08   #716
Jester232
Banned
 
Jester232's Avatar
 
Join Date: Apr 2019
Posts: 21
Quote:
Originally Posted by rob316 View Post
I never get that your not allowed do what you want. As long as it's in reason why would the partner that supposedly loves you deny your enjoyment.
Id never tell my wife she can't do something nor would I expect her to tell me I can't do something
What about the things you need to do when you don't want to do them?

Like say, picking someone up at the airport when you'd rather be lying down watching a series or something?

Those are the types of things that I prefer when single. I don't have any worries about anyone having any plans for me.

Tonight I'll watch the football. If I want to walk up the town at half time for a bag of chips, I can do it. I don't need to tell anyone I'm going, I don't need to offer to get anything for anyone. Just pure freedom.

People often say "relationships are about compromise". Being single there is none.
Jester232 is offline  
(4) thanks from:
16-04-2019, 09:12   #717
StereoSound
Registered User
 
StereoSound's Avatar
 
Join Date: Dec 2014
Posts: 1,917
I enjoyed being single, had a nice 2 seater car, went to Dubai every year on my holidays, somtimes twice ! Then I met a girl and got married, have been terrified ever since...
StereoSound is offline  
16-04-2019, 09:30   #718
Mister Vain
Registered User
 
Mister Vain's Avatar
 
Join Date: Oct 2014
Posts: 3,764
Quote:
Originally Posted by Jester232 View Post
What about the things you need to do when you don't want to do them?

Like say, picking someone up at the airport when you'd rather be lying down watching a series or something?
Or going to a wedding when you absolutely hate weddings. Or meeting her parents. Or trying to think of a present to get her for Christmas/birthday/anniversary etc.
Mister Vain is offline  
16-04-2019, 09:34   #719
Tell me how
Registered User
 
Tell me how's Avatar
 
Join Date: Sep 2014
Posts: 7,555
Quote:
Originally Posted by Jester232 View Post
What about the things you need to do when you don't want to do them?

Like say, picking someone up at the airport when you'd rather be lying down watching a series or something?

Those are the types of things that I prefer when single. I don't have any worries about anyone having any plans for me.

Tonight I'll watch the football. If I want to walk up the town at half time for a bag of chips, I can do it. I don't need to tell anyone I'm going, I don't need to offer to get anything for anyone. Just pure freedom.

People often say "relationships are about compromise". Being single there is none.
By the same rational, there is no companionship, support, synergy when you are single.
For most people, the benefits of these outweigh the negatives of having to compromise in some ways.
Tell me how is online now  
(2) thanks from:
16-04-2019, 09:51   #720
electro~bitch
Registered User
 
electro~bitch's Avatar
 
Join Date: Apr 2007
Posts: 7,931
Quote:
Originally Posted by Jester232 View Post
What about the things you need to do when you don't want to do them?

Like say, picking someone up at the airport when you'd rather be lying down watching a series or something?

Those are the types of things that I prefer when single. I don't have any worries about anyone having any plans for me.

Tonight I'll watch the football. If I want to walk up the town at half time for a bag of chips, I can do it. I don't need to tell anyone I'm going, I don't need to offer to get anything for anyone. Just pure freedom.

People often say "relationships are about compromise". Being single there is none.
Yeesh, that's taking things to the same level as the people who can't be single for five minutes because they're afraid of being alone tbh
electro~bitch is offline  
Post Reply

Quick Reply
Message:
Remove Text Formatting
Bold
Italic
Underline

Insert Image
Wrap [QUOTE] tags around selected text
 
Decrease Size
Increase Size
Please sign up or log in to join the discussion

Thread Tools Search this Thread
Search this Thread:

Advanced Search



Share Tweet