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How much for a wedding gift?

2

Comments

  • #32
    Pinoy adventure
    Registered Users Posts: 984 ✭✭✭Pinoy adventure


    rainbowtrout wrote: »
    Not my job to fund a lifestyle he can't afford.

    Has he invited you too his wedding ?


  • #33
    zerosugarbuzz
    Registered Users Posts: 1,224 ✭✭✭zerosugarbuzz


    TP_CM wrote: »
    I thought the rule was 100 solo and 150 for a couple. But it has been 2 years now or so since i have been to a wedding. Maybe it has gone up.

    I would say €100 per person, why should there be a single supplement?


  • #34
    theteal
    Registered Users Posts: 7,593 ✭✭✭theteal


    Pinoy adventure wrote: »
    With reduced numbers going too the wedding your gift should be higher.€500 -€1000 would be reasonable

    I assumed this was a joke. Subsequent posts have led me to doubt this


  • #35
    wally1990
    Registered Users Posts: 1,222 ✭✭✭wally1990


    I was supposed to be going to a wedding today actually but over the Covid it's only 25, she was a friend since primary school and now we are 30yo

    Poor friend up in a heap all year, 2 reschedules and then hotel cancelled a week before and another hotel stood in last minute last year, amazing

    It's an absolute mess for weddings at the moment

    I'm still popping to the church nearby to say hi and giving a card and 100e even though I'm not going , off I go again

    If I was going i would give 200 or 250, but that's me

    BUT GIVE WHAT YOU CAN AFFORD !!!

    It isn't a competition

    When I got married , many gave me nothing , some gave 50/100/200/500

    I thought of nobody any less

    I chose to get married and I chose to invite them to MY wedding at an Expense to them so I was grateful they came and any gift was a bonus

    So whatever you can afford

    There is a reason people hate weddings and costs is one of them and in Covid , it's only worse expecting X sum from people , so don't be under pressure and any bride or groom who think any less of you over a few measly euro isn't a real friend


  • #36
    witchgirl26
    Registered Users Posts: 2,058 ✭✭✭witchgirl26


    Ok the notion of giving more to fund the wedding really annoys me. I'm getting married next year (hopefully!) and our budget is what we can afford to spend on the wedding without taking into account any money from guests. It's not a gig or a show - it's a wedding! It's a party we're inviting people to. You wouldn't have a housewarming & charge at the door to help fund the cost of the house, would you?! I honestly don't care what people give us as presents, as long as the ones I love are there, I'll be thrilled.

    In terms of gifts we kinda follow the below:
    Close friend/family member - small gift & €250.
    Friend - €200
    Only 1 of us going - between €100 & €150 depending on the relationship.


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  • #37
    eviltwin
    Registered Users Posts: 17,495 ✭✭✭✭eviltwin


    When we got married we specifically asked for no gifts. Everyone had come from abroad and had gifted us just by being there. I could have made a nice little payday for myself judging by this thread! The greed around weddings sickens me. Even the standard 200 per couple might be impossible for people at the moment. Is it any wonder so many people hate weddings with this kind of carry on.


  • #38
    UnBridled
    Registered Users Posts: 24 ✭UnBridled


    eviltwin wrote: »
    When we got married we specifically asked for no gifts. Everyone had come from abroad and had gifted us just by being there. I could have made a nice little payday for myself judging by this thread! The greed around weddings sickens me. Even the standard 200 per couple might be impossible for people at the moment. Is it any wonder so many people hate weddings with this kind of carry on.

    We feel the same. We have budgeted for the wedding we can afford so the idea of hoping to get the costs back through money gifts is just bonkers. We don't care what people give or don't give. What would mean the most is those we invite showing up and enjoying themselves.

    It's been years since I was last at a wedding. It was a girl I used to be very close to. I gave €100 and also a little present just for her. Nobody should feel under pressure to give x sum of money or a fancy gift.


  • #39
    Pinoy adventure
    Registered Users Posts: 984 ✭✭✭Pinoy adventure


    It looks like gone are the days of the Celtic tiger weddings with Penny Pinchers these days


  • #40
    eviltwin
    Registered Users Posts: 17,495 ✭✭✭✭eviltwin


    Pinoy adventure wrote: »
    It looks like gone are the days of the Celtic tiger weddings with Penny Pinchers these days

    That’s probably not a bad thing. It doesn’t bode well if you are relying on your guests to pay for your wedding


  • #41
    Pinoy adventure
    Registered Users Posts: 984 ✭✭✭Pinoy adventure


    eviltwin wrote: »
    That’s probably not a bad thing. It doesn’t bode well if you are relying on your guests to pay for your wedding

    I'm talking about the gifts they receive and weddings well into six figure sums which would be paid by those getting married.
    In a lot of cases the parents of children pay for the entire wedding for there children,which is a nice gift in it's self


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  • #42
    GingerLily
    Registered Users Posts: 4,767 ✭✭✭GingerLily


    I know of a couple getting married in the new year that have complained about getting less gifts now due to the reduced numbers with the restrictions.
    Some people's priorities!


  • #43
    witchgirl26
    Registered Users Posts: 2,058 ✭✭✭witchgirl26


    Pinoy adventure wrote: »
    It looks like gone are the days of the Celtic tiger weddings with Penny Pinchers these days

    I wouldn't call it penny pinchers. It went a bit mad here. I have quite a number of friends in the UK & when talking about cash gifts at weddings here, they were amazed at the amounts that most people gave. Like properly stunned. And at the moment with so many people out of work either temporarily or potentially permanently, I think giving a massive gift at a wedding is well down the list of priorities and rightly so.
    eviltwin wrote: »
    That’s probably not a bad thing. It doesn’t bode well if you are relying on your guests to pay for your wedding

    Yeah if you can't afford the big wedding you want, don't be relying on your guests to pay for it.
    Pinoy adventure wrote: »
    I'm talking about the gifts they receive and weddings well into six figure sums which would be paid by those getting married.
    In a lot of cases the parents of children pay for the entire wedding for there children,which is a nice gift in it's self

    I don't know anyone in my acquaintance who had their wedding paid for by mammy & daddy. Most people I know maybe got some money towards it as a gesture but I think the days of parents paying for weddings is well gone.
    I don't know anyone who has had a 6-figure sum wedding. In fact I only know 1 couple whose wedding hit the €30k mark & all of us thought it was a bit much.


  • #44
    rainbowtrout
    Registered Users Posts: 15,381 ✭✭✭✭rainbowtrout


    Pinoy adventure wrote: »
    It looks like gone are the days of the Celtic tiger weddings with Penny Pinchers these days
    Pinoy adventure wrote: »
    I'm talking about the gifts they receive and weddings well into six figure sums which would be paid by those getting married.
    In a lot of cases the parents of children pay for the entire wedding for there children,which is a nice gift in it's self

    Poor effort at trolling. 2/10.


  • #45
    lawrencesummers
    Registered Users Posts: 8,454 ✭✭✭lawrencesummers


    lazygal wrote: »
    But its their choice to have a wedding. That's their business.

    I don't expect anyone who comes to any celebration we organise to pay their own way.

    Within reason.
    I’ve been to weddings with free bars, decent bands great food. It’s costing the bride and groom a bit more so I don’t mind putting in. Maybe 250 for two of us. Il drink the difference at the free bar anyway!

    A run of the mill day In a 3 star hotel with beef or salmon might be 150.

    When someone goes to the registry office and has cocktail sausages in the local pub afterwards I’m not putting in the same amount, maybe 100.


  • #46
    witchgirl26
    Registered Users Posts: 2,058 ✭✭✭witchgirl26


    lawrencesummers wrote: »
    Within reason.
    I’ve been to weddings with free bars, decent bands great food. It’s costing the bride and groom a bit more so I don’t mind putting in. Maybe 250 for two of us. Il drink the difference at the free bar anyway!

    A run of the mill day In a 3 star hotel with beef or salmon might be 150.

    When someone goes to the registry office and has cocktail sausages in the local pub afterwards I’m not putting in the same amount, maybe 100.

    So you base their gift on the type of wedding they have as opposed to your relationship with them?


  • #47
    blingrhino
    Registered Users Posts: 1,126 ✭✭✭blingrhino


    if your had been invited and cant go ( covid restictions) should you still pony up ?


  • #48
    Pinoy adventure
    Registered Users Posts: 984 ✭✭✭Pinoy adventure


    blingrhino wrote: »
    if your had been invited and cant go ( covid restictions) should you still pony up ?

    100% yes


  • #49
    Smee_Again
    Registered Users Posts: 1,985 ✭✭✭Smee_Again


    Pinoy adventure wrote: »
    100% yes

    What’s your address? I’m getting married next year and I’ve a few invites left over, you’re more than welcome to come.


  • #50
    tiredblondie
    Registered Users Posts: 706 ✭✭✭tiredblondie


    So i got married last year and leaving immediate family aside (i.e. parents and siblings), our gifts ranged from nothing to 500euro
    Those that came alone put 50euro in a card, most couples gave 150euro and some extended family gave 500euro
    To be honest, it was way more than i would have ever expected - i was delighted obviously as it covered nearly all of our cost but i would never think someone was a miserable git for not putting the "correct" amount of money in a card!
    What did annoy me though, was the 2 that didn't even give a card - that was just feckin odd!! An empty card is better than nothing even just to acknowledge it!

    Oh and those who were invited but didn't / couldn't go, none of them sent any cards or anything and i wouldn't have expected them to either!


  • #51
    Pinoy adventure
    Registered Users Posts: 984 ✭✭✭Pinoy adventure


    Smee_Again wrote: »
    What’s your address? I’m getting married next year and I’ve a few invites left over, you’re more than welcome to come.

    Have you or your wedding planner made you wedding list yet ? If so stick it in with the RSVP card so I can get you 1 item off your list as I like too plan ahead.

    Oh and how would 14 nights AI sound in either the Maldives or the Bahamas,flying first class of course ?


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  • #52
    Smee_Again
    Registered Users Posts: 1,985 ✭✭✭Smee_Again


    Pinoy adventure wrote: »
    Oh and how would 14 nights AI sound in either the Maldives or the Bahamas,flying first class of course ?

    Sounds like a step down from what I’d planned to be honest.


  • #53
    Pinoy adventure
    Registered Users Posts: 984 ✭✭✭Pinoy adventure


    Smee_Again wrote: »
    Sounds like a step down from what I’d planned to be honest.

    Private jet so


  • #54
    lawrencesummers
    Registered Users Posts: 8,454 ✭✭✭lawrencesummers


    witchgirl26 wrote: »
    So you base their gift on the type of wedding they have as opposed to your relationship with them?

    No, that comes into it as well, it’s one of a few factors I consider, but I do consider the cost of the wedding As being relevant.

    If attending a second day with a meal or BBQ I would always include a bit more in the gift as well.

    When the wedding is reasonable and not OTT I think it’s fair to expect the B&G to break even on the costs from the gifts received.

    Now if someone wants to get helicopters and handpicked Overnight couriered Egyptian lilies on every table then away with you.


  • #55
    NeonCookies
    Registered Users Posts: 509 ✭✭✭NeonCookies


    For the people saying they adjust the gift amount based on what the couple provide on the day (open bar etc), do you bring along a card and then take out or add a 50 depending on what you "get"? I would never know in advance what extras the couple have arranged unless they're a sibling/close friend.

    Or do you look up the wedding venues package rates to work out how much to gift? We've booked a 3 star hotel as we love it, but their best package along with added extras for guests like an open toast. I give depending on my relationship with the couple and what I can afford at the time, anything else seems like madness!


  • #56
    JayRoc
    Registered Users Posts: 1,568 ✭✭✭JayRoc


    tiredblondie wrote: »
    What did annoy me though, was the 2 that didn't even give a card - that was just feckin odd!! An empty card is better than nothing even just to acknowledge it!!

    My first thought was that they would have been embarrassed to give a card with nothing in it.


  • #57
    jlm29
    Registered Users Posts: 3,818 ✭✭✭jlm29


    NeonCookies wrote: »
    For the people saying they adjust the gift amount based on what the couple provide on the day (open bar etc), do you bring along a card and then take out or add a 50 depending on what you "get"? I would never know in advance what extras the couple have arranged unless they're a sibling/close friend.

    Or do you look up the wedding venues package rates to work out how much to gift? We've booked a 3 star hotel as we love it, but their best package along with added extras for guests like an open toast. I give depending on my relationship with the couple and what I can afford at the time, anything else seems like madness!

    This exactly. I definitely don’t look for details of what I’ll get, I think that’s bizarre. I don’t like wine, it sounds like I should be knocking €20 off my present because I’m not availing of the Prosecco on arrival or the couple of glasses with the dinner.

    People do have a mad attitude to weddings in general. I’ve gone to weddings of good friends at considerable expense, and given a decent present to wish them well, not to pay for my meal. When we got married it was with our kids and two witnesses present. I didn’t expect gifts, but I was quite hurt that some of those friends didn’t stick a card in the post to say congratulations, because I definitely wouldn’t Have let the occasion past without sending something


  • #58
    Teach30
    Registered Users Posts: 539 ✭✭✭Teach30


    jlm29 wrote: »
    I didn’t expect gifts, but I was quite hurt that some of those friends didn’t stick a card in the post to say congratulations, because I definitely wouldn’t Have let the occasion past without sending something

    Just on this, I’m exceptionally bad at sending cards for special occasions etc but purely because I see them as a total waste of money and I’m not bothered about receiving them myself. I’d send a text though.

    On wedding gifts we give a flat rate of €200 for friends and more for family. Anyone I know who had gotten married has used the cash received to pay for wedding, down to counting the opening the cards the morning after and using the cash to pay...

    We haven’t worked out our costs yet but I’d imagine we will do the same. Would love to do a gift register but not allowed!


  • #59
    jlm29
    Registered Users Posts: 3,818 ✭✭✭jlm29


    Teach30 wrote: »
    Just on this, I’m exceptionally bad at sending cards for special occasions etc but purely because I see them as a total waste of money and I’m not bothered about receiving them myself. I’d send a text though.

    By the time I’ve travelled to weddings, taken annual leave, paid for a hotel if far away, and put €200 in a card, I’ve “wasted” around €500. I do really feel it would be a nice gesture for someone to pay €4 for a card and €1 for a stamp in return, even if it is a waste of a fiver.


  • #60
    Teach30
    Registered Users Posts: 539 ✭✭✭Teach30


    jlm29 wrote: »
    By the time I’ve travelled to weddings, taken annual leave, paid for a hotel if far away, and put €200 in a card, I’ve “wasted” around €500. I do really feel it would be a nice gesture for someone to pay €4 for a card and €1 for a stamp in return, even if it is a waste of a fiver.

    Oh I though you meant people who didn’t attend the wedding didn’t give a card.

    That’s v different, if I’m Invited to a wedding I’d obv give cash in a card however for babies, engagement and the like I’m hopeless at card giving. The way I look at that is if you start it once for say birthdays and babies you’ve to keep doing it.

    Also if I didn’t get invited to a wedding I’d just send a text. Some place more value on the card, I’ve no mass in them, plus hate having to come with something “meaningful” to write in a card!


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  • #61
    lawrencesummers
    Registered Users Posts: 8,454 ✭✭✭lawrencesummers


    NeonCookies wrote: »
    For the people saying they adjust the gift amount based on what the couple provide on the day (open bar etc), do you bring along a card and then take out or add a 50 depending on what you "get"? I would never know in advance what extras the couple have arranged unless they're a sibling/close friend.

    Or do you look up the wedding venues package rates to work out how much to gift? We've booked a 3 star hotel as we love it, but their best package along with added extras for guests like an open toast. I give depending on my relationship with the couple and what I can afford at the time, anything else seems like madness!

    My view is not about what I “get” it’s that I want to pay my way on the day at least.

    A bog standard average size and cost wedding depending on numbers when all is said and done costs something like €70-100+ per person. If you give a Gift of €100-150 your not even covering the cost of attending and for a couple at that age in life i like to think I’m covering myself at least.


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