2020 Bride/Groom

cant26 · 13-02-2020 5:08pm

woodchuck wrote: »

Haha on top of the wedding planning, we've a mortgage appointment with the bank tomorrow... people tell us we're mad planning a wedding and looking for a house in the same year and you know what... they're probably right

Don’t think it’s that mad! We are in the same boat. Wedding in two weeks. Applying for mortgage shortly after. We are throwing in thinking of trying for baby number three on top of that...Best of luck with it!

Slojo01 · 15-02-2020 5:52pm

Hi Ladies, my daughter is getting married in cabra castle, did anyone manage to see the newly refurbished ballroom today ? They won’t post pictures and I’m dying to know what it looks like.

Thank you

Teach30 · 15-02-2020 6:33pm

Less than 5 months and still must get dress sorted. Invites still need to be picked and the girl doesn’t send samples which annoys me so must visit her when I get a chance. Loads of other stuff to get sorted but work takes priority for us. Bridesmaids need to pick their dresses themselves so at least that’s one thing less for me to worry about.

We are building a house and not living together til after, both of us work full time so definitely feeling the stress when making decisions. Can’t wait for house way more exciting than the wedding!

blue note · 15-02-2020 7:32pm

Teach30 wrote: »

Less than 5 months and still must get dress sorted. Invites still need to be picked and the girl doesn’t send samples which annoys me so must visit her when I get a chance. Loads of other stuff to get sorted but work takes priority for us. Bridesmaids need to pick their dresses themselves so at least that’s one thing less for me to worry about.

We are building a house and not living together til after, both of us work full time so definitely feeling the stress when making decisions. Can’t wait for house way more exciting than the wedding!

Have you considered e-invites? We used them and they're fantastic. You're much more likely to get an RSVP, and probably quickly. Easy to keep track of, you can send updates to your guests if you want, can take dietary requirements. Plus it's more environmentally friendly and cheaper. For us it was better in every way to be honest.

Teach30 · 15-02-2020 7:49pm

blue note wrote: »

Have you considered e-invites? We used them and they're fantastic. You're much more likely to get an RSVP, and probably quickly. Easy to keep track of, you can send updates to your guests if you want, can take dietary requirements. Plus it's more environmentally friendly and cheaper. For us it was better in every way to be honest.

Thanks majority of our crowd would be older, wouldn’t have emails I’d say and would expect paper invites. Asking around the 300/320 mark so it would be a great idea if it suited!

I’ve never received an e invite actually I hope they get more popular as they are a great way to save money.

LeakingLava · 18-02-2020 4:25pm

Hi everyone,

I've posted this on the DJ forum thinking that the wedding music thread was too quiet but didn't get a single reply there either so thought maybe to post here.

Anyway, getting married this year and originally thought that we weren't going to go for any music provider either DJ or a band as the crowd are not really the dancer type and if they were, it would only probably be minimal. The original plan was just to play songs and let the cross fade do its thing.

Now, just thinking of hiring someone to basically manage music, but in a very simple way. No emceeing is required at all, literally just to be playing music(some requested), play songs as required according to program, and making sure song changes are flawless. The only reason why I'm considering this now is that it would be nice to have someone that can determine that the song has 'dried out' the dance floor and to change it before the actual song ends, rather than someone just pressing 'next' on the music player.

I'm not familiar at all with DJing so please do enlighten me if this type of request is even possible at all.

Thank you very much in advance!

woodchuck · 28-02-2020 10:14am

I've a question if anyone can help... it's in relation to table plans and who to seat at the top table.

We're having a round top table, so there will be limited space. We can fix max 11, but in an ideal world I'd like 12:
- Bride
- Groom
- Mother of the bride
- Father of the bride
- Mother of the groom
- Father of the groom
- Best man (also the grooms brother)
- Best mans wife
- Maid of honour
- Brides sister (not an official bridesmaid)
- Brides brother
- Brides brothers girlfriend

Obviously we're one over the limit, so not sure who to bump

We really don't want to break up couples, so if the brothers are there, so are their partners.

Technically my brother isn't part of the official bridal party (i.e. not a groomsman), but him and his partner won't know anyone else at the wedding (apart from aunts/uncles we rarely see). They're also travelling from a far flung place to attend the wedding, so I'd like to spend time with them during the meal.

So really I'd like to keep all the immediate family and partners at the top table...
Would it be TERRIBLE if I put my maid of honour at another table with our friends?! I really really don't know what the etiquette is, so would appreciate some input. I feel like a horrible person even asking the question, so please go easy on me... it's not that I don't want her there, but I think it makes more sense to keep all the immediate family together and she'd have more fun with our friends!

Bacchus · 28-02-2020 10:49am

woodchuck wrote: »

I've a question if anyone can help... it's in relation to table plans and who to seat at the top table.

We're having a round top table, so there will be limited space. We can fix max 11, but in an ideal world I'd like 12:
- Bride
- Groom
- Mother of the bride
- Father of the bride
- Mother of the groom
- Father of the groom
- Best man (also the grooms brother)
- Best mans wife
- Maid of honour
- Brides sister (not an official bridesmaid)
- Brides brother
- Brides brothers girlfriend

Obviously we're one over the limit, so not sure who to bump

We really don't want to break up couples, so if the brothers are there, so are their partners.

Technically my brother isn't part of the official bridal party (i.e. not a groomsman), but him and his partner won't know anyone else at the wedding (apart from aunts/uncles we rarely see). They're also travelling from a far flung place to attend the wedding, so I'd like to spend time with them during the meal.

So really I'd like to keep all the immediate family and partners at the top table...
Would it be TERRIBLE if I put my maid of honour at another table with our friends?! I really really don't know what the etiquette is, so would appreciate some input. I feel like a horrible person even asking the question, so please go easy on me... it's not that I don't want her there, but I think it makes more sense to keep all the immediate family together and she'd have more fun with our friends!

Your wedding, do what you want TBH. The rulebook is increasingly going out the window.

The most consistent approach I've seen is parents, and bridal party. Partners and siblings could be put together at a separate table. I think they'll survive 2 hours sitting at a table with each other. Consider also that you (the bride and groom) will be gone from the table half the time (between courses), the top table can be a dull place.

If it was me, I'd drop the bride's siblings and the girlfriend. Put them at a good table where there will be some craic

You could keep the best man's wife at top table if you want to keep them together.

Neyite · 28-02-2020 3:56pm

I'd say just ask her. If she's your friend I'm sure she would be fine with it and like you say would have better craic at the friends table rather than the family table.

woodchuck · 28-02-2020 4:37pm

Thanks guys! Yeah I know I should just ask her, but I'm afraid I'll put my foot in my mouth and make it sound like I don't want her there :P And I don't want my friends grilling her on the day about why she's not at the top table. You're right though, we could end up milling around other tables and then she'd just be stuck with the family, which wouldn't be much fun for her

In relation to the siblings, the grooms brother will definitely be at the top table because he's also the best man. My sister has issues (that I won't get into, but includes social anxiety) so I know she won't be comfortable sitting anywhere but the top table. And I'd feel bad if me, my parents and my sister are all at the same table, but my brother isn't.

I'm probably overthinking it all...

Scarinae · 28-02-2020 11:07pm

My sister wasn't able to fit everyone at the top table at her wedding either, so she asked me and my cousin (both bridesmaids) if we minded being on different tables. It was fine with me and it meant that I was able to sit with Mr Scarinae who didn't know many people there. Only you would know if she would react badly to the suggestion, I was posting my experience so you'd know that it does happen at other weddings!

cant26 · 13-03-2020 4:13pm

Best of luck to all the remaining 2020 brides and grooms. We had our day on February 28th and it went great. So glad to have it over, especially with all the craziness that is going on. I hope everyone has great days and that the current situation doesn’t cause too much stress and disruption x

Neyite · 13-03-2020 4:53pm

So far Accord have cancelled all courses until at least the 29th.

The registrar office we are booked in with will still go ahead with our appointment next week but have said it's a day by day thing for them as well. She also said that she thought there would have to be a relaxation of the 3 month rule if the offices shut and it meant that couples couldn't get their paperwork sorted in time. But that was a decision for head office rather than them.

My venue has made it clear that they would cancel if there's a risk - but they've also said it would honour all the arrangements at a later date. Honeymoon, dunno yet but I took out Travel insurance before the first cases hit either Ireland or the destination country so have Travel Disruption /curtailment. And I took out wedding insurance around the same time when there was like 2 or 3 cases of CV in Ireland so I might be ok.

Teach30 · 13-03-2020 5:33pm

Currently in the horrors over my hen. Have paid and booked accommodation and with it not going ahead I’ll have lost €1500. Had other bits bought also so don’t even want to add up the total cost. Not able to think about it at the minute and I am hoping I
Don’t have to try and give back deposits now also.
And yes I know it could be worse but that’s not helping my nerves at the minute.

hard copy · 13-03-2020 5:45pm

Neyite wrote: »

So far Accord have cancelled all courses until at least the 29th.

The registrar office we are booked in with will still go ahead with our appointment next week but have said it's a day by day thing for them as well. She also said that she thought there would have to be a relaxation of the 3 month rule if the offices shut and it meant that couples couldn't get their paperwork sorted in time. But that was a decision for head office rather than them.

My venue has made it clear that they would cancel if there's a risk - but they've also said it would honour all the arrangements at a later date. Honeymoon, dunno yet but I took out Travel insurance before the first cases hit either Ireland or the destination country so have Travel Disruption /curtailment. And I took out wedding insurance around the same time when there was like 2 or 3 cases of CV in Ireland so I might be ok.

Whenabouts is your date out of interest? We're set for end of september so hopeful shouldn't be disruption but you never know how things will pan out, but the registrar's appointment in late April is looking unlikely to go ahead

Neyite · 13-03-2020 5:54pm

hard copy wrote: »

Whenabouts is your date out of interest? We're set for end of september so hopeful shouldn't be disruption but you never know how things will pan out, but the registrar's appointment in late April is looking unlikely to go ahead

July is ours. So not immediate but not all that far away either. It's no harm to call them to see what the registrars contingency plans are.

Shelli2 · 14-03-2020 1:19am

My wedding is supposed to be 2nd May.
My dad passed away on 1st March, he wanted my wedding to go ahead. I'm still not sure how I feel about it. But as family keep reminding me, the hole he left will still be there no matter when the wedding is.

Now CV adds a whole other stress.

I did at least take out insurance early last year, so we are covered.

ab4248 · 14-03-2020 1:22am

Teach30 wrote: »

Currently in the horrors over my hen. Have paid and booked accommodation and with it not going ahead I’ll have lost €1500. Had other bits bought also so don’t even want to add up the total cost. Not able to think about it at the minute and I am hoping I
Don’t have to try and give back deposits now also.
And yes I know it could be worse but that’s not helping my nerves at the minute.

Have you spoken to your accommodation? They surely can't expect you to pay with current circumstances.

emerfan · 14-03-2020 1:40am

LeakingLava wrote: »

Hi everyone,

I've posted this on the DJ forum thinking that the wedding music thread was too quiet but didn't get a single reply there either so thought maybe to post here.

Anyway, getting married this year and originally thought that we weren't going to go for any music provider either DJ or a band as the crowd are not really the dancer type and if they were, it would only probably be minimal. The original plan was just to play songs and let the cross fade do its thing.

Now, just thinking of hiring someone to basically manage music, but in a very simple way. No emceeing is required at all, literally just to be playing music(some requested), play songs as required according to program, and making sure song changes are flawless. The only reason why I'm considering this now is that it would be nice to have someone that can determine that the song has 'dried out' the dance floor and to change it before the actual song ends, rather than someone just pressing 'next' on the music player.

I'm not familiar at all with DJing so please do enlighten me if this type of request is even possible at all.

Thank you very much in advance!

What exactly do you think a DJ does?!

Shelli2 · 14-03-2020 2:07am

My wedding is supposed to be 2nd May.
My dad passed away on 1st March, he wanted my wedding to go ahead. I'm still not sure how I feel about it. But as family keep reminding me, the hole he left will still be there no matter when the wedding is.

Now CV adds a whole other stress.

I did at least take out insurance early last year, so we are covered.

cant26 · 14-03-2020 8:27am

Shelli2 wrote: »

My wedding is supposed to be 2nd May.
My dad passed away on 1st March, he wanted my wedding to go ahead. I'm still not sure how I feel about it. But as family keep reminding me, the hole he left will still be there no matter when the wedding is.

Now CV adds a whole other stress.

I did at least take out insurance early last year, so we are covered.

I am so sorry to hear about your dad.x

Teach30 · 14-03-2020 12:55pm

ab4248 wrote: »

Have you spoken to your accommodation? They surely can't expect you to pay with current circumstances.

I can’t change it to another weekend so I’ll lose the money. I had funded a lot of it myself as I didnt what the girls paying a huge amount of money to go and I was paying for myself and the bridesmaids also.
It’s put me in such bad form and I hate parties I’ve never celebrated birthdays we didn’t have an engagement party or anything for that reason so this has totally put me off everything now.

zedhead · 14-03-2020 2:21pm

We're May 15th. Our evening reception venue was very proactive and contacted us before the decision to close schools etc was made. They have said they are preparing as if we will still be going ahead on May 15th but they have agreed to book us in for a plan b date in August in case things do not improve. Waiting to hear back from our photographer to see if he can offer the same. Going to call the registry office on Monday to see what they advise for the ceremony. Dinner is in a restaurant so easier to reschedule and everything else we will figure out.

The hen is due for April 4th. Its in Kilkenny and no idea what my sister has planned for it. Worst case it gets cancelled and everyone loses money. At this stage best case is we go ahead with just the day time activities and dinner and ask for my Mum, MIL and Aunt In Law to not come and I will do something with them another time. I do not see it going ahead as planned but would rather keep everyone safe.

Its so hard for everyone. I am struggling with anxiety over evreything and i just have to take each day as it comes. The most important thing is our family and friends stay safe, but with 9 weeks to the date, i should be so excited but all I can do is worry.

qwerty13 · 15-03-2020 4:18am

Teach30 wrote: »

Currently in the horrors over my hen. Have paid and booked accommodation and with it not going ahead I’ll have lost €1500. Had other bits bought also so don’t even want to add up the total cost. Not able to think about it at the minute and I am hoping I
Don’t have to try and give back deposits now also.
And yes I know it could be worse but that’s not helping my nerves at the minute.

Did you not post before about spending an eye-wateringly huge amount on the dress / ring? And 5k on a photographer, or your siblings paying for it? Does losing 1.5k matter to you that much, or impact your nerves?

Teach30 · 15-03-2020 6:58am

qwerty13 wrote: »

Did you not post before about spending an eye-wateringly huge amount on the dress / ring? And 5k on a photographer, or your siblings paying for it? Does losing 1.5k matter to you that much, or impact your nerves?

FYI photographer/videographer coming in at around 6.5k I think.

Anyways I don’t see what tracking the spend of or who’s paying for wedding has to do with anything. So what if my parents are paying costs for it. I’m paying for many aspects of it myself it’s my hard earned money and I can spend it as I like.

You have obviously zero compassion for b&g who have no idea if their wedding will take place or not.

The thoughts of having to reschedule are bad enough without unhelpful posts like that.

qwerty13 · 15-03-2020 1:35pm

@ Teach: of course you can have as an extravagant wedding as you like. But you’re in a very very different position from most people, who are paying for it themselves. So moaning about a cost for a hen, that is a fraction of your total wedding cost (which you aren’t paying for) comes across a bit badly.

I’d have a lot of compassion for people who are actually paying for their wedding.

Teach30 · 15-03-2020 2:18pm

qwerty13 wrote: »

@ Teach: of course you can have as an extravagant wedding as you like. But you’re in a very very different position from most people, who are paying for it themselves. So moaning about a cost for a hen, that is a fraction of your total wedding cost (which you aren’t paying for) comes across a bit badly.

I’d have a lot of compassion for people who are actually paying for their wedding.

I know I can’t imagine how stressful it must be for people who have no one to help out financially. We are fierce lucky to have the best supporting us and I’m fairly sure we’ll return the favour and support them when we can. That how some families work if you are not familiar with such a way of life then no need for the passive aggressive tone.

As for the hen it’s grand my future husband had offered to help pay the girls back. I’d hate for them to be left short.

Now to decide out which designer wedding shoes and underwear to order. Recommendations would be great.

qwerty13 · 15-03-2020 2:33pm

Teach30 wrote: »

I know I can’t imagine how stressful it must be for people who have no one to help out financially. We are fierce lucky to have the best supporting us and I’m fairly sure we’ll return the favour and support them when we can. That how some families work if you are not familiar with such a way of life then no need for the passive aggressive tone.

As for the hen it’s grand my future husband had offered to help pay the girls back. I’d hate for them to be left short.

Now to decide out which designer wedding shoes and underwear to order. Recommendations would be great.

There’s no need to be bitchy re my family (I don’t have any, thanks), or snarky comments re designer gear. I do recall other posts of yours re wanting designer gear, but not paying for your own wedding. So pipe down there and get off your high horse.

Teach30 · 15-03-2020 3:19pm

qwerty13 wrote: »

There’s no need to be bitchy re my family (I don’t have any, thanks), or snarky comments re designer gear. I do recall other posts of yours re wanting designer gear, but not paying for your own wedding. So pipe down there and get off your high horse.

Jeepers I was only telling as it is, no where in my post did I refer to YOUR family, I was only pointing out how lucky I am to have such great support from MY family.
Your attitude and remarks are unnecessary and uncalled for.

Not wanting to de-rail the thread so if anyone can recommend a style of Jimmy Choos that are comfortable that would be great. Looking online but difficult to tell if they are comfortable to stand in all day as I would more than likely wear them for work after.

Shelli2 · 15-03-2020 3:31pm

We've been given a provisional back up date in October if our May wedding can't go ahead. The venue have been extremely helpful and gave us a long list of alternative dates, I'm just contacting all other suppliers now to see if they'll hold the new date provisionally for now.

I'm still hoping we can go ahead, but it's definitely a relief to have back up plan.

Lots of my decor and stuff has the date printed on it.... But that's so minor I don't care.

2020 Bride/Groom

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