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Wedding Gift Etiquette - Bank Transfer

  • 09-09-2020 9:23am
    #1
    Patsy167
    Registered Users Posts: 1,788 ✭✭✭


    Hi All,

    Does anyone have any experience or advice on giving a wedding gift via Bank Transfer.

    I would normally give cash in a card but this gift will be €500. In my mind, the most practical option is a bank/Paypal/Revolut transfer, rather than messing with cash?

    Would requesting payee details from the Bride/Groom to complete the transfer be rude/offensive?


Comments

  • #2
    woodchuck
    Moderators, Society & Culture Moderators Posts: 15,409 Mod ✭✭✭✭woodchuck


    I did this in March. Normally I'd put money in a card, but my friends wedding was badly messed up by Covid at the last minute. Long story short, they managed to legally get married and postponed the celebration.

    I still wanted my friend to get her present at the time though. I wasn't going to be able to meet her in person due to lockdown and there was no way I was going to send cash in the post! So I sent the card in the post and did a bank transfer for the gift. Now I already had her bank details, so I didn't need to ask for them. But I wouldn't have had any issues asking if I didn't have already have the details. I don't think it's rude to ask them directly. You could always try asking the couples parents for their bank details if you prefer, but I'd prefer to get it from them directly to make sure there are no errors.

    Tbh I think a bank transfer makes way more sense anyway. The amount of cards with money that couples get at weddings - they're so easily misplaced/lost. A bank transfer is much more reliable.


  • #3
    jlm29
    Registered Users Posts: 3,818 ✭✭✭jlm29


    I never give cash in a card if it’s more than €50. I always go into the bank and get a gift cheque. It costs about €2. There’s nothing wrong with asking for bank details either, but I personally would just give the cheque


  • #4
    JayRoc
    Registered Users Posts: 1,568 ✭✭✭JayRoc


    Patsy167 wrote: »
    Hi All,

    Does anyone have any experience or advice on giving a wedding gift via Bank Transfer.

    I would normally give cash in a card but this gift will be €500. In my mind, the most practical option is a bank/Paypal/Revolut transfer, rather than messing with cash?

    Would requesting payee details from the Bride/Groom to complete the transfer be rude/offensive?

    If you use Revolut to give them the money, you can avoid any awkwardness of having to ask for their bank details.


  • #5
    MrMusician18
    Registered Users Posts: 7,186 ✭✭✭MrMusician18


    JayRoc wrote: »
    If you use Revolut to give them the money, you can avoid any awkwardness of having to ask for their bank details.

    There is nothing awkward about it. Money gifts are the norm at weddings. If it was the couple asking for money then that would be different.

    Message to friend would go:

    Hi X, would you mind sending me your bank details? Just want to send you your wedding gift.

    We had a few of those messages for our wedding.


  • #6
    JayRoc
    Registered Users Posts: 1,568 ✭✭✭JayRoc


    MrMusician18 wrote: »
    There is nothing awkward about it. Money gifts are the norm at weddings. If it was the couple asking for money then that would be different.

    Message to friend would go:

    Hi X, would you mind sending me your bank details? Just want to send you your wedding gift.

    We had a few of those messages for our wedding.

    The OP appeared to mention feeling awkward about asking for bank details.


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  • #7
    tiredblondie
    Registered Users Posts: 706 ✭✭✭tiredblondie


    I had a 3 family members give us 500euro cash in a card at the hotel and 1 family member gave us substantially more, again in cash, in the hotel - we stayed there the night before and they gave it to us then - i won't lie, i near sh*t myself with that amount of money so i done the only thing i could think of and that was to pass the responsibility onto daddy to look after haha!
    Revolut would have been a lot better to be honest!


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