What happens when you die?

wexhun wrote:

O I don't know I'm very confused at the moment and I'm upset ...

I am very sorry for the distress that life has brought to you. I also empathise with your fears that religion is just one big con. Oftentimes religious people seem more interested in proving themselves right or protecting their power than searching for the truth, showing love or helping people.

I hope that I don't fall into that trap in this response. I think it is important to remember that while it might not bring you any solace now, the place you are in where you are admitting the honest, soul-deep questions you have is a healthy one. The seemingly meaningless death of young people is not the way any of us would choose to begin a re-examination of what we believe because it is so traumatic, but as hard as it is, it is good and healthy that you are re-examining.

I am a Christian (non-denominational) and I do feel that there is meaning and purpose. I believe in life before death as well as after though, which is something Christians often neglect! As you face the potential that death brings a definite end to everything that mattered to you, you must also face the troubling questions that raises about what that implies for your life before death.

What I mean to say is, if matter is all that is and matter is all that matters, then how do you gain significance and value in this life? Your relationships are nothing but evolutionary bait to encourage you to pass on your genes or to protect you in the case of attack. Even your thoughts must be suspected. They no longer are the processes of a truth-discovering brain, but the delusions of a brain intent on creating comforting delusions (including religion but also including the other structures that bring meaning to our lives) to stop us from going crazy. In such a universe, even your feelings of sorrow at the death of these 2 young people must be re-evaluated. If the Cosmos is the byproduct of chance then why should we mourn their passing anymore than a stranger's or a cow's or a plant's for we are all just complex organisms assembled by blind chance.

I think that God loves every single person and has a purpose in their life and a reason behind their death. I believe in the Christian picture of God as someone infinitely powerful, present and loving and so I understand that he might have motives that I will not be able to discern in this life. It is not a magic pill answer that makes me feel better when my relatives are sick or my friends die but on a day to day basis, as a result of my prayerful relationship with Him, I feel quite sure that He is here and He is in control.

So to answer your question, I think that when you die, God meets you with open arms (the open arms of the Cross?) and faith in him, knowing him, reassures you that is safe to embrace this awesome Creator who will welcome you like a Father meeting his long lost child, dry your tears, heal your pain, answer your questions and settle you into your new home.

Hi Wexhun,

I'm terribly sorry for your loss. At times life can seem unbearable, bleak, cold sort of like you are stranded alone in the freezing cold with nowhere to go, nobody to talk to, no warmth and the pain of isolation and the physical pain of the cold numbing your hands and face as you struggle to walk against the blizzard (in a metaphorical sense). But, "when you walk through and storm, keep your chin up high and don't be afraid of the dark" as "the sun will come out tomorrow". People die and I don't think any "God" can change that.

Myself, I don't believe in an almighty loving God but in energy. I believe God is an energy force that exists in humans and existence and love is a human thing. We all lose somebody and it especially breaks my heart when I hear about young people who have died. Many people have doubts about what they believe in after a tragedy, faith differs a bit from religion. You need to decide what you truly believe in, nobody can decide it for you. A person with faith has a fuller, whole view of life and it can give them comfort.

I will give you an example. A few months ago I watched a documentary about a man who "skin was falling off" - he had epidermolysis bullosa (EB), which is a genetic skin condition in which the skin is so fragile even touching it, would cause rashes. The man was wrapped up in bandages, couldn't walk, he looked awful. Beneath it all he was beautiful. His mother came to change his bandages twice a day with much distress. He got cancer and decided to die, he lived to about 30. He met many famous people, set up a charity for people with the same condition and lived a much fuller life than most people who have lived to old age. His documentary touched my heart and I will never forget it and his life made an impact on so many people. His last words about his charity were "I don't want people to suffer in their lives like I did - they deserve the chance I never got".

Don't you see that people do die but at least you can say you knew that them and you would always have memories of them? Part them lives in you. Wexhun, don't give up faith as I don't think your friend and her daughter would want you to. Did they make a positive impact on people's lives? You too can to make this impact on other people lives and you have had an impact on me so thank you. I hope life treats you good, as you don't deserve any more suffering so please take care.

Daniel