Advertisement
If you have a new account but are having problems posting or verifying your account, please email us on hello@boards.ie for help. Thanks :)
Hello all! Please ensure that you are posting a new thread or question in the appropriate forum. The Feedback forum is overwhelmed with questions that are having to be moved elsewhere. If you need help to verify your account contact hello@boards.ie
Hi all,
Vanilla are planning an update to the site on April 24th (next Wednesday). It is a major PHP8 update which is expected to boost performance across the site. The site will be down from 7pm and it is expected to take about an hour to complete. We appreciate your patience during the update.
Thanks all.

She has a boyfriend

Options
2»

Comments

  • Options
    #32
    Stan27
    Registered Users Posts: 528 ✭✭✭Stan27


    Sonic the Shaghog wrote: »
    Had the same before. E.g. was on holidays with her "married friend who needed a break" turns out it was her bf she was living with

    It's for attention that they purposely leave out mention of it as they know most lads will stop bothering once they know.

    Looking back it shows what kind of person someone like that is. Even if she came and 100% declared love now I wouldn't be interested as one day I'd described as "her friend" to her latest orbiter

    Happened with me with a girl in college.
    She was leading me on for weeks, texting me non stop etc.
    She was actually seeing one of the lads in my course, and when he found out, it ended quick enough. Some people are just headbangers.


  • Options
    #33
    [Deleted User]
    Posts: 0 ✭ [Deleted User]


    Just a wild and crazy thought.. but I'll put it out there. Who exactly told you she has a boyfriend and how much do you trust their information? Is it reliable? Maybe the guy she is living with IS a friend or roommate.

    She is obviously capable of having platonic friendly relationships with men - that's what she thought she had with you - until you gave her the birthday gift. Then the penny dropped for her that you like her romantically, so she backed off because it looks like she doesn't see you that way.

    You need to ask her, don't just assume the worst of her.


  • Options
    #34
    weemcd
    Registered Users Posts: 6,411 ✭✭✭weemcd


    Stay well away op. 4/5 red flags there.


  • Options
    #35
    leggo
    Registered Users Posts: 9,061 ✭✭✭leggo


    [Deleted User] wrote: »
    You need to ask her, don't just assume the worst of her.

    Bit of a desperado move with nothing to be gained tbh considering he’s already made a move. Even if your suspicions are correct here, all it can achieve is forcing her to go “No I don’t have a boyfriend. I’m just not interested in you at all romantically” and making everyone involved uncomfortable. It’s okay to take hints like.


  • Options
    #36
    [Deleted User]
    Posts: 0 ✭ [Deleted User]


    Well, you know what they say. Nothing ventured, nothing gained.

    At least he'd know, once and for all and if she is unavailable or simply uninterested, (no shame in that) and he can move on instead of wondering.


  • Advertisement
  • Options
    #37
    leggo
    Registered Users Posts: 9,061 ✭✭✭leggo


    I don't want to side-track this discussion, but this kinda stuff is why you hear people giving out about people not taking hints and getting into harassment territory.

    OP does know her interest-level already. If she wanted something to happen, something would've come of the gift he got her because he went deliberately overboard to show he was interested. People who are interested in you respond positively to that kinda stuff and things move naturally from there. If they don't, they're either unavailable or uninterested. OP has since heard the former back and now has closure, he's here to deal with the remnants of that.

    There are no pros to going back AGAIN and forcing the issue. The OP has very little chance of getting a positive outcome and now this girl feels harassed and backed into a corner where she has to almost say "NO!" clearly, just because (in this hypothetical) the OP refused to take the hint.


  • Options
    #38
    [Deleted User]
    Posts: 0 ✭ [Deleted User]


    I agree that she is not romantically interested in the OP. But they were good friends, and if I was him, I'd kinda like to know if she is in a relationship or not so IF IT WAS ME, I'd ask.

    They are both mature adults. Maybe after an adult conversation the mutual friendship they both enjoyed up to now can be salvaged and they can move past this (if they want to) or call it a day. It does appear to have reached a natural end.

    (As an aside, my basis for this is my brother rents rooms in his house and has a female licensee sharing with him for the last two years and they've become good friends. Pre-pandemic, they would go to gigs, socialise together, etc. I'm sure it would be easy for someone outside the situation to assume she was his live-in girlfriend - appearances are not always as they seem).

    Anyway, best of luck to the OP.


  • Options
    #39
    mcsean2163
    Registered Users Posts: 1,839 ✭✭✭mcsean2163


    There used to be a while where on a night out I didn't want to talk about my girlfriend as it was no fun. Talking to a girl... mention my girlfriend... conversation over. I guess it was something like the same, she liked you as a friend and didn't want to break the friendship but that's a crazy long time. Not mentioning it on a night out versus months seems very different.. but maybe I was an asshole too although I didn't call my girlfriend a roommate...


  • Options
    #40
    jj880
    Registered Users Posts: 4,235 ✭✭✭jj880


    Forget her OP. You will find someone else who won't behave this way. Even if she contacts you again and wants to be "friends" Ive seen this escalate to where lads end up walking the woman's dog, baby sitting, washing her car etc. Its horrendous to watch. I still see a guy I know locally. He's been at it for years. She's had a few boyfriends in that time also.


Advertisement