What's the etiquette here??

NeinNeinNein · 20-03-2020 1:45am

Nevin Parsnipp wrote: »

Think we all gettin a bit stressed about this virus situation.?

Blew out a thick plugg of acrid sh1te this morn on arrival to work...took the "S" like a sniper bullet and dissapeared without need to flush....very strange occurrence for this poster as my usual effort is a mid morn blunderbus of loose scree requiring several flushes and the use of the lavatory brush where available .

All this bad noos I guess....

No offence Nev, but how can you be 100% sure you definitely made a deposit under these circumstances?

sligojoek · 20-03-2020 1:51am

A "Phantom/ghost dump" . Bet there was zero paperwork either.

Nevin Parsnipp · 20-03-2020 10:24am

NeinNeinNein wrote: »

No offence Nev, but how can you be 100% sure you definitely made a deposit under these circumstances?

No offence taken Nein... but when your ring piece feels like the muzzle of a Bofors Gun and you are tempted to check for flash burns ...believe me pal you have delivered !

An audible splash and a (welcome) sprinkling of splashback on your hoop is further but superfluous evidence.

So 100% Nein......

Fireball81 · 20-03-2020 11:25am

Not sure if it's the working from home that has my bowel movements out of sync, each day this week at 10am have had to rush to the throne to deposit a runny brown oily substance - stinks to **** too and yellow on the paper when wiping (used the shower yesterday and yellow liquid went down the drain).

Was concerned this could be a symptom of COVID-19 but on it's own it seems unlikely according to the HSE website.

Brendan Bendar · 20-03-2020 12:05pm

Fireball81 wrote: »

Not sure if it's the working from home that has my bowel movements out of sync, each day this week at 10am have had to rush to the throne to deposit a runny brown oily substance - stinks to **** too and yellow on the paper when wiping (used the shower yesterday and yellow liquid went down the drain).

Was concerned this could be a symptom of COVID-19 but on it's own it seems unlikely according to the HSE website.

:eek:

Did you take a snap and send it in?

partyguinness · 20-03-2020 12:09pm

sligojoek wrote: »

A "Phantom/ghost dump" . Bet there was zero paperwork either.

A "Ghostie" or even a "Worldie" due to its rare occurance always arouses mixed emotions.

On the one hand delighted that I will not have to go through the indignity of 2-3 flushes for the whole office to hear but on the other hand I would love to have the chance to salute and marvel at its compacted U-Boatesque glory.

JohnnyFlash · 20-03-2020 12:26pm

Nevin Parsnipp wrote: »

No offence taken Nein... but when your ring piece feels like the muzzle of a Bofors Gun and you are tempted to check for flash burns ...believe me pal you have delivered !

An audible splash and a (welcome) sprinkling of splashback on your hoop is further but superfluous evidence.

So 100% Nein......

Nothing welcome about a ‘Neptune’s kiss’, Nevin.

EmmetSpiceland · 20-03-2020 12:35pm

sligojoek wrote: »

A "Phantom/ghost dump" . Bet there was zero paperwork either.

We called it a “Magic” if it there was no clean up required.

perrito caliente · 20-03-2020 12:36pm

How're ye all holding up with the doubling and trebling of cleaners?

Two of us in the traps there earlier, one beside the other, two belt buckles shimmying the floor tiles, when next thing you know, TWO cleaners appear outside spraying and wiping down the cube as myself and my snorting and spluttering neighbour sit within. After ten or fifteen seconds the two of us start letting loose, a lot of fizzying, gassy sounds on his side of the wall, like someone shook up a 2.5 litre bottle of coke and opened it on the old Dublin - Cork express. I'd a long stinking grainy snake of a thing, pale complexion, a few husks and seeds, rich smell of floradex, and by this stage the two cleaners were on to the sinks and mirrors.

Funny thing, a couple of weeks ago being accosted like this would have sent me into a blind rage, but you know what, my heart lifted and I thought to myself, bless their souls, they really are on the front line.

EmmetSpiceland · 20-03-2020 12:37pm

Brendan Bendar wrote: »

:eek:

Did you take a snap and send it in?

We don’t condone that sort of “carry on” in this thread, B.

Not unless it was a, very, extenuating “circumstance”. We’re talking very big.

Voodoomelon · 20-03-2020 12:51pm

I'd long forgotten the comfort of a wooden toilet seat, after a recent experience in a friends house. It's a shame we are bombarded with plastic seat offerings, as it must genuinely be 10 years since I sat on a wooden seat.

On entering the bathroom, I stood staring at the seat for a few seconds, initially a bit hesitant to sit on it due to some "staining" towards the front, but I deduced after a few wipes with some loo roll that it was merely signs of age that wouldn't shift with a few mere wipes, it would require more of a heavy sand if you get me.

Wooden seats do have a bit of an air of "filth" about them, germs harboring in the porous surface. But my word the comfort. A gentle natural warmth, a softness against the buttocks. Very pleasant I must say.

Not so pleasant was the slick left down the back of the bowl once I stood up, it required some manual removal with a wad of paper due to the lack of a toilet brush. A disgraceful bathroom omission.

EmmetSpiceland · 20-03-2020 1:38pm

Voodoomelon wrote: »

I'd long forgotten the comfort of a wooden toilet seat, after a recent experience in a friends house. It's a shame we are bombarded with plastic seat offerings, as it must genuinely be 10 years since I sat on a wooden seat.

Wooden seats are great. Never freezing on a cold winter’s morn.

The only downside is the, inevitable, crack that occurs and always in a spot than will give an almighty “pinch” to the, unsuspecting, sitter.

Bit of tape will sort that though.

partyguinness · 20-03-2020 1:50pm

Another issue with wooden seats is that they do not age well and they start to warp and stain from the accumulation of piss.

Brendan Bendar · 20-03-2020 2:10pm

EmmetSpiceland wrote: »

We don’t condone that sort of “carry on” in this thread, B.

Not unless it was a, very, extenuating “circumstance”. We’re talking very big.

I’m afraid Mr Eee you are well behind the times in this situation.

If there was any suspicion of the C19 I wouldn’t hesitate to bang in a snap.

It’s de-riguer now given the difficult state of our health system.

Dr.would probably just say that the feed of ‘ Bombay Mix and Sunkist Prunes’ might have agitated the load a bit too much and that the previous
fletch of fatty rib bacon looked like it was “blown”...but you were right to contact me.Best not leave a slab of bacon in the ‘press’ for two or three months though.....

EmmetSpiceland · 20-03-2020 2:21pm

Brendan Bendar wrote: »

I’m afraid Mr Eee you are well behind the times in this situation.

If there was any suspicion of the C19 I wouldn’t hesitate to bang in a snap.

It’s de-riguer now given the difficult state of our health system.

Dr.would probably just say that the feed of ‘ Bombay Mix and Sunkist Prunes’ might have agitated the load a bit too much and that the previous
fletch of fatty rib bacon looked like it was “blown”...but you were right to contact me.Best not leave a slab of bacon in the ‘press’ for two or three months though.....

My apologies, B.

I thought you meant for that, particular, contributor to post a pic on here.

By all means, do send photographic evidence of the stool to a professional “healthcare” provider. Better to be safe than sorry in these “unprecedented” times.

Apologies, again, for the misunderstanding.

Having said that, if anyone is looking for an “amateur” opinion then, by all means, use the “Private Message” function on this site. Do not use this thread. Thanks.

Thank you.

Fireball81 · 20-03-2020 2:29pm

EmmetSpiceland wrote: »

We don’t condone that sort of “carry on” in this thread, B.

Not unless it was a, very, extenuating “circumstance”. We’re talking very big.

I didn't- sure will have another sample at 10.05am tomorrow

Brendan Bendar · 20-03-2020 3:08pm

EmmetSpiceland wrote: »

My apologies, B.

I thought you meant for that, particular, contributor to post a pic on here.

By all means, do send photographic evidence of the stool to a professional “healthcare” provider. Better to be safe than sorry in these “unprecedented” times.

Apologies, again, for the misunderstanding.

Having said that, if anyone is looking for an “amateur” opinion then, by all means, use the “Private Message” function on this site. Do not use this thread. Thanks.

Thank you.

No problem MrE, understandable mistake, of course I would, like yourself, be very much a against any ‘stuff’ being posted here and on private messages either.

That would be a very bad turn to take especially the content the boy Parsnipp might be ‘produce’.

I do though think he would not post the load here,in fairness, but does tend to gull a slab of Argus 8.0 on occasions and can be unpredictable.

Best regards.

JohnnyFlash · 20-03-2020 6:14pm

Argus 8.0 might be excellent value when you use the (volume x ABV)/Price formula, but that formula doesn’t take account of the state of the shïtter or your hole the next morning. Things always forgotten about when a fella is perusing the beer aisle in Lidl or Aldi looking for a slab of strong lager.

Pintman Paddy Losty · 20-03-2020 7:14pm

Brendan Bendar wrote: »

No problem MrE, understandable mistake, of course I would, like yourself, be very much a against any ‘stuff’ being posted here and on private messages either.

That would be a very bad turn to take especially the content the boy Parsnipp might be ‘produce’.

I do though think he would not post the load here,in fairness, but does tend to gull a slab of Argus 8.0 on occasions and can be unpredictable.

Best regards.

That might explain his ill-tempered and downright abusive visitor messages that Mr. Parsnipp has left me on numerous occasions.

Gulling a slab of argus is never going to put someone in top form. Combine that with Nevin's very irratated piles and I can see how a man would lower himself to sending abusive messages to this senior and we'll respected poster.

Will bear that in mind in future.

perrito caliente · 20-03-2020 7:36pm

By the way boys, the wart fell off of its own accord, I think. I was sat up on the sofa like a lobster for the last few nights pinching it between my nails, and I must have weakened the stem. Will have probably fallen down my trouser leg in the office and will get worked into the carpet in time.

Peace and goodwill to all.

Hotblack Desiato · 22-03-2020 3:04pm

EmmetSpiceland wrote: »

It’s been, what, 6 days? I’ve mostly been getting by on things like mugshots, cuppa soup, “instant” noodles, both pot and brick, and the odd freezer pizza. Probably leaning too heavily into the noodle supply.

Jaysus. There's people in fallout shelters with a better diet than that.

Brendan Bendar · 22-03-2020 4:47pm

Pintman Paddy Losty wrote: »

That might explain his ill-tempered and downright abusive visitor messages that Mr. Parsnipp has left me on numerous occasions.

Gulling a slab of argus is never going to put someone in top form. Combine that with Nevin's very irratated piles and I can see how a man would lower himself to sending abusive messages to this senior and we'll respected poster.

Will bear that in mind in future.

Good observation Losty,you are indeed correct, I’ve noticed Parsnipp does tend, not too often mind,to kick over the traces late at night.

This could be after gulling a cargo of Argus .....and....... then necking a litre of Yellow Tail.

Usually tips the boy over the edge.

mfceiling · 22-03-2020 8:03pm

https://twitter.com/fesshole/status/1241777922102476800?s=19

Something badly amiss there lads.

fuerte1976 · 22-03-2020 8:18pm

mfceiling wrote: »

https://twitter.com/fesshole/status/1241777922102476800?s=19

Something badly amiss there lads.

Something misfiring for sure!

JohnnyFlash · 22-03-2020 8:20pm

mfceiling wrote: »

https://twitter.com/fesshole/status/1241777922102476800?s=19

Something badly amiss there lads.

Very bound up individual. I’d say continuously tetchy and bad tempered. Could explain some of the posters on this site to be honest.

Nevin Parsnipp · 22-03-2020 9:45pm

JohnnyFlash wrote: »

Very bound up individual. I’d say continuously tetchy and bad tempered. Could explain some of the posters on this site to be honest.

Not too many bound individuals here Flash.... if the posts is out to go by.

Dudes in these parts spray more skutter than a fcukin circus elephant...a serious and respected poster like mesell has to put up with a lot of insult and innuendo....that cheap kernt Bendar.....had a cut at me recently....

Could cause a lad to blow up and go off the rails.....

Hotblack Desiato · 23-03-2020 1:07pm

mfceiling wrote: »

https://twitter.com/fesshole/status/1241777922102476800?s=19

Something badly amiss there lads.

Heard a doc on TV say that normal is anything between twice a day and twice a week.
Now I've done the twice a day thing on occasion, but I wouldn't want to make a habit of it. Same with the twice a week, I can't imagine the "delivery would easily fit through the letterbox" at that stage, if you get me. Once a day is surely the optimum.

JohnnyFlash · 23-03-2020 1:56pm

Nevin Parsnipp wrote: »

Not too many bound individuals here Flash.... if the posts is out to go by.

Dudes in these parts spray more skutter than a fcukin circus elephant...a serious and respected poster like mesell has to put up with a lot of insult and innuendo....that cheap kernt Bendar.....had a cut at me recently....

Could cause a lad to blow up and go off the rails.....

Bendar seems very tetchy these days - heard a story late last week about some dude in a dung coloured polyester suit smashing 72 bottles of Perlenbacher while attempting to load them into the boot of his Dacia Duster. Somewhere in North Dublin I believe. Heavy set lad with a combover.

Slideways · 24-03-2020 1:17am

JohnnyFlash wrote: »

Bendar seems very tetchy these days - heard a story late last week about some dude in a dung coloured polyester suit smashing 72 bottles of Perlenbacher while attempting to load them into the boot of his Dacia Duster. Somewhere in North Dublin I believe. Heavy set lad with a combover.

I believe he had a bulbous red nose that was nearly comical in size and a set of false teeth that clacked when he talked

Nevin Parsnipp · 25-03-2020 1:41pm

Popped out a nice shiny nugget in the Bang! Box this am.
Dropped straight thru and only needed small flush.
No bog paper deployed.....

What's the etiquette here??

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