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29-12-2020, 23:36   #61
CelticRambler
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Originally Posted by One eyed Jack View Post
(a) You don’t explain why, in your opinion, you see it as a very poor basis to form a community ...
Because, as the rest of your post exemplifies, it would be a community founded on a very, very distorted view of the role of children in one's life, to the point that every decision, every discussion, every question is viewed through the lens of whether or not a person who has chosen to have children can be trusted to respect the concerns of someone who has chosen not to have children. That is a hugely dysfunctional starting point for any new community.

If someone has a problem with their mother/sister/aunty banging on about them starting a family, that's a relationship problem.
If someone has a problem with every other woman in their workplace taking maternity leave, that's a workplace problem.
If someone's worried about having no descendants to leave their worldly possessions to, that's an inheritance problem.
If someone wants to find the cheapest flights in mid-July on a plane that'll have no children on it, that's a Travel problem.
Just because someone has children doesn't mean that they're not well qualified to give advice on how to deal with any of those child-free situations.

So on the one hand, we have the proposal to make this forum inclusive and touching several different topics (all of which are catered for elsewhere on the site); and on the other, it's intended to be a place for members whose lives are overwhelmingly infused with their deliberate decision to not have children. Those two states are incompatible.

Out of curiosity, I've just had a look at my own circle - 4 out of my 5 most recent WhatsApp chats are with childless people, 3 out of my 5 most recent texts are to people with no children; and 4 out of 7 individuals that I follow on YouTube are child-free (6 if you include those with grown-up children). I have three 40-50yo female cousins (in rural Ireland) and one male who have no children and it's never been considered abnormal.

Perhaps it would be useful to propose a handful of likely thread topics in this discussion to see what level of engagement could be expected?
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29-12-2020, 23:40   #62
Faith
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Originally Posted by CelticRambler View Post

Perhaps it would be useful to propose a handful of likely thread topics in this discussion to see what level of engagement could be expected?
That’s literally the bulk of the first post on this thread.
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29-12-2020, 23:49   #63
CelticRambler
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That’s literally the bulk of the first post on this thread.
Almost every one of the (?notional?) threads in the quoted box deal are not particularly suited to a "child-free by choice" forum ...
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29-12-2020, 23:52   #64
Pretzill
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Originally Posted by CelticRambler View Post
Because, as the rest of your post exemplifies, it would be a community founded on a very, very distorted view of the role of children in one's life, to the point that every decision, every discussion, every question is viewed through the lens of whether or not a person who has chosen to have children can be trusted to respect the concerns of someone who has chosen not to have children. That is a hugely dysfunctional starting point for any new community.
That's like saying the Parenting Forum is from the point of view of every decision, discussion or question being from people who have chosen to have children? It most likely is, you know. Choosing to be child-free has life ramifications on a lot of levels, for the person, people, and the planet. I can see a myriad of topics under this banner - I can also see that your only viewpoint is to oppose the idea of a forum on this topic.
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30-12-2020, 00:00   #65
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-1 for me.
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30-12-2020, 01:13   #66
One eyed Jack
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Originally Posted by CelticRambler View Post
Because, as the rest of your post exemplifies, it would be a community founded on a very, very distorted view of the role of children in one's life, to the point that every decision, every discussion, every question is viewed through the lens of whether or not a person who has chosen to have children can be trusted to respect the concerns of someone who has chosen not to have children. That is a hugely dysfunctional starting point for any new community.

No, that’s a complete distortion of an interpretation of what I said. Ironically given the point you’re making that whether or not a person who has chosen to have children can be trusted to respect the concerns of someone who has chosen not to have children is answered by the fact that you call a point of view you don’t share a distortion, rather than acknowledging that it is simply a world view or point of view which differs from your own.

To answer the question objectively - of course they can. No reason why anyone is incapable of seeing something from someone else’s point of view, they can absolutely be trusted to do so and are trusted to do so by being expected to post in good faith and making an attempt at least to understand where other people are coming from.

Will it happen that some people are choosing not to post in good faith and instead choose to distort another persons perspective to suit themselves or their own narrative? Absolutely, but that shouldn’t form the basis of an argument against the creation of a new forum or community space for people who wish to engage in good faith with each other on the basis of a particular world view or ethos or philosophy.
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30-12-2020, 02:02   #67
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30-12-2020, 09:12   #68
eviltwin
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Originally Posted by Pretzill View Post
That's like saying the Parenting Forum is from the point of view of every decision, discussion or question being from people who have chosen to have children? It most likely is, you know. Choosing to be child-free has life ramifications on a lot of levels, for the person, people, and the planet. I can see a myriad of topics under this banner - I can also see that your only viewpoint is to oppose the idea of a forum on this topic.
That’s because having a child has a far greater impact on your life than not having a child.

Is this the reason for the forum, the parents have one so we want one too?

As I said I am in favour of any new forum but only if it adds to the overall site.
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30-12-2020, 09:17   #69
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30-12-2020, 09:39   #70
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Faith (and others) have made some good points and whilst I'm not likely to post there: +1




I always thought the purpose of these forum requests was to gauge interest in a new forum by collecting enough "+1s". So I don't really get the point of "-1". If enough people want a forum on "Fun with Ferrets" (apologies if there is one, no offence) have at it.
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30-12-2020, 09:41   #71
osarusan
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Originally Posted by bubblypop View Post
If people are not interested in this particular forum or sub forum, why vote against it?
If I'm interested I would show my interest, but if I'm not, then I would just not comment.
If someone wanted to start a forum on people who wear cartoon character costumes, I wouldn't have any interest, but I wouldn't actively be against it.

Seems strange to actively vote against it. Maybe I'm missing something?
Even though I mentioned earlier that I think the idea that the forum would cater for both childfree by choice and childfree due to problems is way off, I agree with this - I don't see why people would vote against it.

It's not like there's a finite number of forums possible, so another has to make way, and its not like there's a maximum amount of posts possible per day, so it would limit posting elsewhere.

At worst, it will be another forum that very few people visit, and will become a zombie forum.

Last edited by osarusan; 30-12-2020 at 10:56.
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30-12-2020, 09:57   #72
CelticRambler
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Originally Posted by Pretzill View Post
Choosing to be child-free has life ramifications on a lot of levels, for the person, people, and the planet. I can see a myriad of topics under this banner - I can also see that your only viewpoint is to oppose the idea of a forum on this topic.
Being child-free is the default state of every human on the planet. The choice faced by sexually mature adults is to give up that status, a choice being made by fewer and fewer people in most countries across the world.

I'm not opposing the creation of the forum; but I am asking why, if there is "a myriad of topics" that are seriously affected by a person's decision to remain childless, those topics shouldn't be discussed in an existing forum.

If there's such a need, it should be easy enough to give half a dozen hypothetical thread titles to show the direction of such discussion ... so far, all we've had is "a place for like minded people" and a whole lot of "+1"s. I would side with MrMusician on this point: the site is already too fragmented, and potentially interesting discussions do not benefit from being corralled into niche forums.
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30-12-2020, 09:58   #73
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Other than not wanting children, what would the parts have in common to discuss that wouldn't fit on the existing fora?
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30-12-2020, 10:21   #74
Gregor Samsa
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Originally Posted by bubblypop View Post
If people are not interested in this particular forum or sub forum, why vote against it?
If I'm interested I would show my interest, but if I'm not, then I would just not comment.
If someone wanted to start a forum on people who wear cartoon character costumes, I wouldn't have any interest, but I wouldn't actively be against it.

Seems strange to actively vote against it. Maybe I'm missing something?
That’s how the new forum process works. If you read the rules in the sticky, you’ll see that people are encouraged to vote for or against proposals, and the tally goes towards making the decision.

https://touch.boards.ie/thread/20576.../#post99821578

Can’t really blame people for taking part in a process according to the rules.

(I personally don’t have an opinion one way or the other on this particular proposal, so I’m not casting a vote, but I wouldn’t hold it against anyone who does have an opinion either way - it’s an engagement in the community aspect of Boards)
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30-12-2020, 10:23   #75
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More forums the better, more choice.
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