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Lame or embarrassing things you fapped to before you had internet porn

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Comments

  • #122
    cassElliot
    Registered Users Posts: 158 ✭✭cassElliot


    Squ wrote: »
    Tis a rare thing these days.. a post where you actually laugh out loud..

    Though, more out of memory, truth be known.

    i cried laughing, then carried my laptop about to show people.
    paparazzo is famous. in my house at least. for trying to **** to arty film four movies :pac:


  • #123
    --LOS--
    Registered Users Posts: 11,028 ✭✭✭✭--LOS--


    BrianD3 wrote: »
    A friend of mine wanked to Teletext, specifically to a sex/dirty stories section that only came on air after midnight. The name of this section was After Hours :D

    It's true.
    http://teletext.mb21.co.uk/gallery/TeletextLtd/teletext-itv-380a-19930123-bg.jpg
    http://teletext.mb21.co.uk/gallery/TeletextLtd/teletext-itv-380b-19930123-bg.jpg
    http://teletext.mb21.co.uk/gallery/TeletextLtd/teletext-itv-380c-19930123-bg.jpg
    (Links are SFW in case anyone's worried)

    Literotica on teletext :<

    I don't care what people say about how easy we have it with the internet, a good movie sex scene would do it for me over porn and I can't clothes shop online without getting really turned on every time >.<


  • #124
    Squ
    Closed Accounts Posts: 1,082 ✭✭✭Squ


    1210m5g wrote: »
    that he would be having a w*nk thinking about having a w*ank ha ha

    18417465.jpg


  • #125
    Intensive Care Bear
    Registered Users Posts: 661 ✭✭✭Intensive Care Bear


    Squ wrote: »
    18417465.jpg

    ha ha cheers im going to send him that


  • #126
    ShadowHearth
    Registered Users Posts: 22,929 ✭✭✭✭ShadowHearth


    Hmmm, I think I was quite lucky. I knew where did my parents were hiding 4 porn VHS full of recorded porn. So I was pretty much sorted.


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  • #127
    Squ
    Closed Accounts Posts: 1,082 ✭✭✭Squ


    ShadowHearth wrote: »
    Hmmm, I think I was quite lucky. I knew where did my parents were hiding 4 porn VHS full of recorded porn. So I was pretty much sorted.

    Dude, know the one thats one too many :D


  • #128
    mackg
    Registered Users Posts: 3,938 ✭✭✭mackg


    Acacia wrote: »
    I was introduced to internet pron quite late on so probably used lame sh1t to fap to for longer than most! I defo used the home shopping catalogue thing (though being a girl I could actually pass it off as ''just looking at clothes" :P). I used to memorise the covers of Nuts/ Playboy for the '**** bank' cause I was too embarrassed the buy them. The Sun in general was, and continues to be, a great source of soft core pron with the half-nekkid celebs , Page 3 and what not. Again, that could be passed off as just reading the paper (yay!). Prob the lamest thing in relation to that were those old ads for 'sexy ' mobile phone pics. I actually tore out an ad and hid it in my room for weeks. The shame! Also way up there in the sad stakes is sneaking downstairs late one night to watch a re-run of American Pie 2 for the lesbian scene which lasted all of two minutes! Also, why all the porn threads of late in AH? I should probably stop posting in them, I think I'm coming off as a bit of a pervert! :P

    Surely it would be difficult to pass off as reading the paper since whoever saw you would more than likely have noticed you were fapping?:confused:
    --LOS-- wrote: »
    Literotica on teletext :<

    I don't care what people say about how easy we have it with the internet, a good movie sex scene would do it for me over porn and I can't clothes shop online without getting really turned on every time >.<

    Monsters ball is a great one

    mmmm... Halle Berry


  • #129
    St.Spodo
    Registered Users Posts: 1,027 ✭✭✭St.Spodo


    Paparazzo wrote: »
    Worst thing that could possibly happen to you back then:
    Film on channel 4 looks promising. Make at attempt at the early sex scene, then you think it's not that great, you'll wait for the next one. But that was the only sex scene in the movie. So you spent your entire saturday night watching a crap french arthouse movie with a floppy willy in your hand.

    Funniest post I've read here in a long while.

    For me, you couldn't go wrong with the aul' softcore dubbed porn on the satellite channels of a Saturday night. You used to have to sit through some bizarre fetish stuff to get anything decent, though.


  • #130
    abouttobebanned
    Closed Accounts Posts: 6,943 ✭✭✭abouttobebanned


    German channel Sat 1.

    And the satellite jukebox. The song "hello hello" in particular.


  • #131
    cocoshovel
    Closed Accounts Posts: 3,041 ✭✭✭cocoshovel


    Remember in magazines and newspapers where you could text a code to the number to receive this tiny pixel art of boobs on your nokia 3310? Oh boy, some craic!


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  • #132
    McChubbin
    Closed Accounts Posts: 5,080 ✭✭✭McChubbin


    I was a bit late getting into fapping but around the time Ann Summers opened on O' Connell Street, up until then I used to read a lot of trashy Mills and Boon. Then I moved onto the much more classier Black Lace Erotica books- there were no pictures but your imagination filled in the gaps.
    As for actual porno mags, the closest I got was a few issues of Marquis that I liberated from Miss Fantasia. Bizarre Magazine was great for showing sexy Ultra Vixens but it's gotten very tame in recent years. Mostly tits and ass- like Nuts only with more tattoos and lizard men.


  • #133
    Akrasia
    Registered Users Posts: 22,219 ✭✭✭✭Akrasia


    Budget travel holiday brochure. A magnifying glass would reveal a hidden world of blurry topless sunbathers


  • #134
    candycock
    Registered Users Posts: 208 ✭✭candycock


    ah sunday nites 'where in the world' i love blondes,i used to empty the tank watching theresa lowe.


  • #135
    LH Pathe
    Closed Accounts Posts: 2,515 ✭✭✭LH Pathe


    before shìt was done and documented to death we had to use something as lame and embarrassing as our imagination. Which I opted for ahead of topless bìtches on bikes, page 3 etc.. last of the holy innocents. but then came the internet and I see my 9yr old nephew fappin to xxx*. yeah; I'm hatin..

    *when it meant hardcore sex. But of course hardcore's not even perceived as softcore now, its just a nicety. and who would argue with that :/


  • #136
    AngryBollix
    Closed Accounts Posts: 2,536 ✭✭✭AngryBollix


    candycock wrote: »
    ah sunday nites 'where in the world' i love blondes,i used to empty the tank watching theresa lowe.

    Did you **** off to biddy as well?


  • #137
    candycock
    Registered Users Posts: 208 ✭✭candycock


    AngryBollix wrote: »
    Did you **** off to biddy as well?

    yeah biddy was a favourite to.......well holy god:D


  • #138
    shantolog
    Registered Users Posts: 101 ✭✭shantolog


    Already have:cool:
































    It's sh!t:pac:


  • #139
    AngryBollix
    Closed Accounts Posts: 2,536 ✭✭✭AngryBollix


    The mental image I had of my best friends sisters tits was always good for a big sweaty ****


  • #140
    candycock
    Registered Users Posts: 208 ✭✭candycock


    the lonely hearts section in 'irelands own' was great for the imagination just thinkin of those lonely rich aul ones LOL


  • #141
    Blondie919
    Closed Accounts Posts: 1,454 ✭✭✭Blondie919


    While listening to a Frank Zappa song called The Torture Never Stops. There's a girl whimpering and shrieking during the song. Not exactly lame, but definitely weird.


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  • #142
    Catmologen
    Registered Users Posts: 538 ✭✭✭Catmologen


    Channel 18 on the multichannel box or Sat 1 to give it its real name!


  • #143
    awec
    Administrators Posts: 53,326 Admin ✭✭✭✭✭awec


    ShadowHearth wrote: »
    Hmmm, I think I was quite lucky. I knew where did my parents were hiding 4 porn VHS full of recorded porn. So I was pretty much sorted.
    What.... the..... fcuk?


  • #144
    Paparazzo
    Closed Accounts Posts: 7,398 ✭✭✭Paparazzo


    pappyodaniel wrote: »
    The worst one was a mate of mine, let's call him pappyodaniel. He was at home one day and going through a few leaflets that came through the letterbox. They were from the Health Board. One of them was an instructional leaflet for women on how to check their breasts for lumps. pappyodaniel found the pictures arousing and so he cracked one off fair play to him. What made this not only wrong but also kind of sad was that the pictures weren't photographic, they were sketches. Fair play to me.
    FYP ;)


  • #145
    Jesus Wept
    Registered Users Posts: 25,243 ✭✭✭✭Jesus Wept


    It's a wonder it didn't fall off.
    SJPK wrote: »
    a friend... ahem... once said he fapped to one of those ah 'growing up' books... :o

    aw jesus...

    :pac:

    Guill wrote: »
    Emmanuel was always on Channel 4, along with Eurotrash and sometimes even the Word had good boobage. If you were lucky they would show somw late night Anime which was bound the show at least some side boob repeatidly.

    Emmanuel was awesome and always on.
    Akrasia wrote: »
    Budget travel holiday brochure. A magnifying glass would reveal a hidden world of blurry topless sunbathers

    I recall an a3 sized budget travel brouchure with an awesome busty lady on the cover.


  • #146
    latenia
    Closed Accounts Posts: 1,997 ✭✭✭latenia


    The Argos catalogue health and fitness and shower sections used to have t&a.

    The Golden Pages-look up cosmetic surgery, similarly the back pages of women's glossies.

    I recall one friend telling me he used an empty packet of tights-nice if you're a leg man.


  • #147
    cianisgood
    Registered Users Posts: 73 ✭✭cianisgood


    the section in the family encyclopaedia describing nudists had a crackin' picture of some girls tits


  • #148
    grizzly
    Registered Users Posts: 2,789 ✭✭✭grizzly


    Margaret Thatcher.



    Oh what, so nobody finds power attractive?


  • #149
    silvine
    Registered Users Posts: 3,132 ✭✭✭silvine


    Anyone remember the red light zone on Ch4 ?


  • #150
    nkay1985
    Registered Users Posts: 6,975 ✭✭✭nkay1985


    My best friend managed to "smuggle" a pack of dirty playing cards home from Spain when we were about 12. He kept the fully nude pack for himself (they being more expensive and whatnot) and gave me the pack with the boobies. Best present ever!

    Not sure how long they managed to remain hidden in under my bed but I looked for them one afternoon and they'd disappeared. My mother never said a word and neither did I. A few years later, I was clearing out a blanket box in their room and found the cards hidden in it. I will admit to having a nostalgia ****. :D


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  • #151
    Paparazzo
    Closed Accounts Posts: 7,398 ✭✭✭Paparazzo


    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4qTUacVlh4o


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