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Lame or embarrassing things you fapped to before you had internet porn

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    #1082
    Rikand
    Registered Users Posts: 20,340 ✭✭✭✭Rikand


    fire_man wrote: »
    The Sunday World!

    And the star and the sun and the mirror from way back in the day. I can still remember from a time when Wimbledon was on, the blondy page 3 girl wore nothing but a tennis racket and she had the most savage set of norks. The image is forever imprinted on my brain for the best possible reasons

    "Anyone for tennis?"


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    #1083
    Tired Gardener
    Closed Accounts Posts: 456 ✭✭Tired Gardener


    Can't beat a bit of the old furious **** to Songs of Praise.


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    #1084
    branie2
    Registered Users Posts: 10,288 ✭✭✭✭branie2


    Rikand wrote: »
    And the star and the sun and the mirror from way back in the day. I can still remember from a time when Wimbledon was on, the blondy page 3 girl wore nothing but a tennis racket and she had the most savage set of norks. The image is forever imprinted on my brain for the best possible reasons

    "Anyone for tennis?"

    Did she have strawberries and cream with her?


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    #1085
    Rikand
    Registered Users Posts: 20,340 ✭✭✭✭Rikand


    branie2 wrote: »
    Did she have strawberries and cream with her?

    Thankfully no. At 15 I didn't want anything left to the imagination


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    #1086
    branie2
    Registered Users Posts: 10,288 ✭✭✭✭branie2


    A scene from Toys - Robin Williams' character's girlfriend taking off her bra


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    #1087
    sligojoek
    Registered Users Posts: 25,420 ✭✭✭✭sligojoek


    Jamie Lee Curtis in 'Trading Places'.


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    #1088
    ohnonotgmail
    Registered Users Posts: 40,143 ✭✭✭✭ohnonotgmail


    sligojoek wrote: »
    Jamie Lee Curtis in 'Trading Places'.

    Jamie Lee Curtis in True Lies.


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    #1089
    branie2
    Registered Users Posts: 10,288 ✭✭✭✭branie2


    That bra and panties!


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    #1090
    ohnonotgmail
    Registered Users Posts: 40,143 ✭✭✭✭ohnonotgmail


    branie2 wrote: »
    That bra and panties!

    that rack.


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    #1091
    branie2
    Registered Users Posts: 10,288 ✭✭✭✭branie2


    A woman in a yellow swimsuit in a Cornetto ad


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    #1092
    branie2
    Registered Users Posts: 10,288 ✭✭✭✭branie2


    ohnonotgmail wrote: »
    Jamie Lee Curtis in True Lies.

    Jamie Lee Curtis in Mother's boys


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    #1093
    Professor Genius
    Banned (with Prison Access) Posts: 391 ✭✭Professor Genius


    branie2 wrote: »
    Jamie Lee Curtis in Mother's boys

    I’m having my breakfast Kate !


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    #1094
    Ipso
    Closed Accounts Posts: 5,995 ✭✭✭Ipso


    ohnonotgmail wrote: »
    that rack.

    Makes you want to sit up and beg for buttermilk.


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    #1095
    Rikand
    Registered Users Posts: 20,340 ✭✭✭✭Rikand


    Ipso wrote: »
    Makes you want to sit up and beg for buttermilk.

    B7HLHSk.gif


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    #1096
    branie2
    Registered Users Posts: 10,288 ✭✭✭✭branie2


    Sally Geeson in the film version of Bless This House on video.


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    #1097
    Cee-Jay-Cee
    Registered Users Posts: 12,235 ✭✭✭✭Cee-Jay-Cee


    I think I answered on this thread before but couldn’t be arsed trying to find it so will reply again.

    My dad was a keen photographer and his subscriptions to Practical Photography and several other photography magazines meant I had a wealth of porn as a teenager. There were regular articles and pictures featuring totally nude models which I’m sure my father never really looked at and only read the tech features so I made sure they got plenty of attention.


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    #1098
    fryup
    Registered Users Posts: 18,069 ✭✭✭✭fryup


    Cee-Jay-Cee wrote: »
    There were regular articles and pictures featuring totally nude models which I’m sure my father never really looked at and only read the tech features so I made sure they got plenty of attention.

    ya right :pac:

    pull the other one (no pun intended)


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    #1099
    branie2
    Registered Users Posts: 10,288 ✭✭✭✭branie2


    Good one, Fryup!


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    #1100
    the purple tin
    Registered Users Posts: 10,943 ✭✭✭✭the purple tin


    The Argos catalogue :o
    The photos in the exercise equiptment and electric shower sections were always very fruitful.


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    #1101
    Calibos
    Registered Users Posts: 7,796 ✭✭✭Calibos


    I know I've posted this in this thread years ago but theres a new generation to tell!!

    Friend across the road shows me a photo of his mum topless sunbathing thinking its a great laugh. I'm a horny 13 year old at the time. Next time I was over in his house and left alone I took the photo because his mother was a ride in her youth. Sure I'd put it back the next day after I'd.....'stared at it a bit at home'.....except I couldn't!! I had put the photo under my mattress and when I went to retrieve it it slipped between the panels of my box-room built in bed. There was no way to retrieve it without demolishing the built in bed. Eventually I forgot about it and stopped stressing about it when my friend never reported the photo missing :D

    A few years later having long ago moved house I remembered the incident and came to the realisation, that at some point that bedroom would have been renovated and the current owners would find a topless photo of their now 60-70 year old neighbour across the road and wondered WTF?!?!? :D:D

    Second funny neighbour story is not an embarrassing Fap story but worth telling. Coming back from the pub late one night I see the next door neighbours daughter riding her boyfriend Reverse Cowgirl style. How?? Magnolia blinds on the window, bedside lamp on the far side of the bedroom casting a silhouette of the daughter onto the blinds. Knew it was reverse cowgirl because knowing their Semi-D was a reverse image of mine, I knew where the headboard of the bed had to be and she was bouncing up and down with her boobies facing away from the headboard. LOL :D


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    #1102
    partyguinness
    Registered Users Posts: 8,207 ✭✭✭partyguinness


    We had a satellite dish with Sky etc from about 1990 with a lot of German channels that showed 1970s German soft porn from say 11pm onwards. On a good night I could have 3-4 channels on the go flicking away with smoke coming off the remote.

    Then you had the nights when you had 10mins freeview on the Adult Channel before it encrypted- Jaysus how I prayed and prayed for them to forget to encrypt just once. Never happened.

    I ruined myself one night and was ill prepared with no tissue. Had to navigate the stairs dripping.

    Would always make sure to change the channel back to Sky News and the recall button to RTE to cover my tracks.

    In the mid 90s parents installed a second TV in the patio with the satellite linked to it. Now this was circa 1993-94 so things were not too advanced. But the idea was you could watch RTE etc in the patio but it also meant that whatever was on the "main" tv on the Sky box in the sitting room would show on the patio TV- you could only change the satellite channels from the sitting room.

    Anyway, dickhead here was flicking away one Saturday afternoon and it was only around 3-4pm but I stopped on one of the German channels and there was this busty blonde babe running across a beach in slow motion and fully naked. I was loving it but forgot myself- sure wasn't the TV in the patio on at the same time and exactly the same screen popped up in front of my parents and younger sisters.

    No one said anything to me until later when my bitch oldest sister goes: "Oh we all saw what you were watching earlier" Big smug bitchy look on her face. A good 25 years ago but still embarrassed.


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    #1103
    fryup
    Registered Users Posts: 18,069 ✭✭✭✭fryup


    ^^^^^^

    look at it this way, it would have been far worse if they all ran in and saw you jackin off!


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    #1104
    partyguinness
    Registered Users Posts: 8,207 ✭✭✭partyguinness


    fryup wrote: »
    ^^^^^^

    look at it this way, it would have been far worse if they all ran in and saw you jackin off!


    True but I would need to be fairly depraved to start cracking one off on a Saturday afternoon in the sitting room with a full house.


    Did anyone else watch the "Red Shoe Diaries"...?


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    #1105
    partyguinness
    Registered Users Posts: 8,207 ✭✭✭partyguinness


    Ah Jaysus...it's all coming back

    I boarded for a few years and one weekend I brought home a porn mag. I hid it down the side of my bed between the bed and wall. Sure enough heading back on the Sunday night I realised I had forgotten the mag. Instant panic. I thought: "Sure the only way it will get found is if the mother changes the bed sheets during the week. Slim enough chance"

    That was a ****ing long long week adding to the stress of the leaving cert. The mag was still there on Friday night but also nice new bedding...:o


  • Options
    #1106
    partyguinness
    Registered Users Posts: 8,207 ✭✭✭partyguinness


    Growing up my mother was always well into watching her tennis and figure skating.

    Gabriella Sabatini was my first love (oh man...I swear to God I just watched her tits for 2 hours) in a sweaty white top during Wimbledon......in fact any woman tennis player did it for me.

    I even took an unhealthy interest in the womens swimming and diving events at the 1992 Olympics.

    Heike Drechsler was another one I ogled over at 12-14 oh and Katrin Krabbe at the 1991 World Championships.


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    #1107
    fryup
    Registered Users Posts: 18,069 ✭✭✭✭fryup


    its all ahem* cuming back to you partyguinness


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    #1108
    branie2
    Registered Users Posts: 10,288 ✭✭✭✭branie2


    partyguinness wrote: »
    We had a satellite dish with Sky etc from about 1990 with a lot of German channels that showed 1970s German soft porn from say 11pm onwards. On a good night I could have 3-4 channels on the go flicking away with smoke coming off the remote.

    Then you had the nights when you had 10mins freeview on the Adult Channel before it encrypted- Jaysus how I prayed and prayed for them to forget to encrypt just once. Never happened.

    I ruined myself one night and was ill prepared with no tissue. Had to navigate the stairs dripping.

    Would always make sure to change the channel back to Sky News and the recall button to RTE to cover my tracks.

    In the mid 90s parents installed a second TV in the patio with the satellite linked to it. Now this was circa 1993-94 so things were not too advanced. But the idea was you could watch RTE etc in the patio but it also meant that whatever was on the "main" tv on the Sky box in the sitting room would show on the patio TV- you could only change the satellite channels from the sitting room.

    Anyway, dickhead here was flicking away one Saturday afternoon and it was only around 3-4pm but I stopped on one of the German channels and there was this busty blonde babe running across a beach in slow motion and fully naked. I was loving it but forgot myself- sure wasn't the TV in the patio on at the same time and exactly the same screen popped up in front of my parents and younger sisters.

    No one said anything to me until later when my bitch oldest sister goes: "Oh we all saw what you were watching earlier" Big smug bitchy look on her face. A good 25 years ago but still embarrassed.

    No such thing as separate sky boxes back then, unfortunately.


  • Options
    #1109
    branie2
    Registered Users Posts: 10,288 ✭✭✭✭branie2


    the purple tin wrote: »
    The Argos catalogue :o
    The photos in the exercise equiptment and electric shower sections were always very fruitful.

    And the sunbeds


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    #1110
    [Deleted User]
    Posts: 0 ✭ [Deleted User]


    Ragnar Lothbrok wrote: »
    Oh Jesus, Linda was hot.

    Also Corinne Russell was a particular favourite Page 3 Girl of mine. She was also in an advert on TV for Boddington's Ale (I think) and every time that ad was shown, I'd have to dash away upstairs for a Wafty Crank.

    Deborah Corrigan was my **** bank back then! Google her!


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    #1111
    branie2
    Registered Users Posts: 10,288 ✭✭✭✭branie2


    I see what you mean ;)


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