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Barring order against alcoholic father

  • 15-05-2021 6:42pm
    #1
    techyjon
    Registered Users Posts: 64 ✭✭


    My alcoholic father has been removed from the family house by Guardaí after my mother requested a barring order. He is currently being held in custody at a prison until the next court date. The family are concerned about what will happen to him if the judge rules in favour of the banning order as he will have nowhere else to go.

    Does anyone know if the state provides emergency alternative accommodation in this scenario?


Comments

  • #2
    eviltwin
    Registered Users Posts: 17,495 ✭✭✭✭eviltwin


    techyjon wrote: »
    My alcoholic father has been removed from the family house by Guardaí after my mother requested a barring order. He is currently being held in custody at a prison until the next court date. The family are concerned about what will happen to him if the judge rules in favour of the banning order as he will have nowhere else to go.

    Does anyone know if the state provides emergency alternative accommodation in this scenario?

    A barring order makes him homeless so he will have to present himself at the local council offices who will find him accommodation. As a single male with a history of alcohol and violence it will probably be a hostel on a night by night basis but depending on the service, they may link him in with supports that can help him with his issues.

    I hope you and your mum are ok and getting support. Please don't feel guilty about your dad's situation, whatever led to him being taken into custody was his choice.


  • #3
    Big Bag of Chips
    Administrators Posts: 13,746 Admin ✭✭✭✭✭Big Bag of Chips


    techyjon wrote: »
    The family are concerned about what will happen to him if the judge rules in favour of the banning order as he will have nowhere else to go.

    What family? You and your mam? Or the extended family. If your mam has gotten to the point where she called the guards to remove him from the house then it is simply not her problem where he ends up. If the rest of the extended family are worrying about him, let them take him in.

    My guess is nobody else wants him, and they just want to talk your mam round to taking him back. My brother in law was a violent, alcoholic, drug addict. His wife eventually walked away. The rest of the family tried every trick in the book to get her to move back in. Because once she was there he was her responsibility. When she walked away he started showing up at their door.

    Support your mam in keeping him out of her house. He's an adult man. He can make his own arrangements. The more people protect him from himself the less likely he is to ever face up to situation.


  • #4
    Rubberchikken
    Registered Users Posts: 5,083 ✭✭✭Rubberchikken


    Is it his family who are concerned?
    Are they willing to take him in if no place was available?


  • #5
    techyjon
    Registered Users Posts: 64 ✭✭techyjon


    Thanks to everyone for getting back to me with the advice and encouragement. The immediate family and I are concerned about the prospect of him being put on the street. He hasn't the best of health either so we are worried about how he would survive on his own even if he got a place but the situation has to change.

    There is really only my aunt in the extended family who would be in a position to take him but won't. Instead of trying to help matters, she has been calling my mam a few times giving her a hard time.

    I have been on to a local support service trying to arrange for a call for mam. Hopefully she will persevere with the barring order although it could depend on whether she can get some assurances he will be looked after.


  • #6
    corks finest
    Registered Users Posts: 8,625 ✭✭✭corks finest


    techyjon wrote: »
    My alcoholic father has been removed from the family house by Guardaí after my mother requested a barring order. He is currently being held in custody at a prison until the next court date. The family are concerned about what will happen to him if the judge rules in favour of the banning order as he will have nowhere else to go.

    Does anyone know if the state provides emergency alternative accommodation in this scenario?
    States obliged to


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  • #7
    xzanti
    Moderators, Entertainment Moderators Posts: 10,434 Mod ✭✭✭✭xzanti


    What a terribly difficult and sad position you're all in.

    I am the child of an alcoholic myself. Thankfully my parent was never physically abusive and is now sober a long time but the anxiety that comes with living with addiction in the home; and all that comes with it, will probably never leave me.

    I can only imagine how harrowing this situation is for all of you, but sometimes people need to hit absolute rock bottom before they will begin to recover.

    Maybe with a bit of luck this will be your Dad's rock bottom and he will someday see it as his starting point. Stranger things have happened.

    If your family are pushing you to continue enabling him by bringing him back into the home, show them this thread.

    I really wish you all the luck in the world.


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