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Bigbagofcans · 30-10-2018 2:44pm

Patww79 wrote: »

What? Are they banned now too?

It's a very derogatory term. :rolleyes:

Bigbagofcans · 30-10-2018 2:46pm

Jackman25 wrote: »

A bugbear of mine, but I hate when people describe other people, particularly their partners as amazing.
The dictionary definition of amazing is "causing astonishment, great wonder, or surprise". That applies to very very few people.

There are plenty of amazing people out there. To find the love of your life is a pretty amazing feeling.

Jackman25 · 30-10-2018 2:57pm

Bigbagofcans wrote: »

There are plenty of amazing people out there. To find the love of your life is a pretty amazing feeling.

Nah, there isn't, by definition there cannot be. If everyone is amazing, no one is amazing.

Amazing feeling maybe, doesn't make them an amazing person.

Prominent_Dawg · 30-10-2018 3:00pm

My weight is probably the only thing in my pictures the actually resembles me

esme95 · 30-10-2018 3:19pm

Jackman25 wrote: »

Nah, there isn't, by definition there cannot be. If everyone is amazing, no one is amazing.

Amazing feeling maybe, doesn't make them an amazing person.

Do you go around nit picking and analysing everything everyone says? It's a commonly used expression, get over it.

Steve F · 30-10-2018 3:35pm

https://i.pinimg.com/236x/1c/55/43/1c554329b20e43fc0db796d5fcf8f03e--elvis-presley-family-elvis-presley-music.jpg

I tell 'em I've just been discharged

riffmongous · 30-10-2018 3:36pm

jellybellyelly wrote: »

Most likely similar to what goes through the minds of all the guys who lie about their height on Tinder I presume they think the right woman won't care.

There's a whole generation of guys who are 5ft11+ in their minds...maybe in heels, if they stood on a chair, on their tiptoes.... :P

I remember back in school when height would come up lads telling me I was 6ft because they were and we were the same height.. eh not a chance boss 5,11 tops

ginandtonicsky · 30-10-2018 3:39pm

Actually that's true, a lot of lads seem to think they're 6 ft! What's that all about?

Doesn't really affect me as at 5"1 anything above like 5"8 is "tall" to me, but...weird. Wonder if it's the male equivalent of that thing that women apparetently do, where they shave about a stone off their actual weight if they're asked about it publicly

Bigbagofcans · 30-10-2018 3:45pm

ginandtonicsky wrote: »

Actually that's true, a lot of lads seem to think they're 6 ft! What's that all about?

Doesn't really affect me as at 5"1 anything above like 5"8 is "tall" to me, but...weird. Wonder if it's the male equivalent of that thing that women apparetently do, where they shave about a stone off their actual weight if they're asked about it publicly

Men are quite conscious about their height especially when a girl is looking for a 'tall dark and handsome man'.
I saw on a woman's dating profile before: 'No short men, no bald men and no Asian men, thanks'.

Feisar · 30-10-2018 3:48pm

ginandtonicsky wrote: »

Actually that's true, a lot of lads seem to think they're 6 ft! What's that all about?

Doesn't really affect me as at 5"1 anything above like 5"8 is "tall" to me, but...weird. Wonder if it's the male equivalent of that thing that women apparetently do, where they shave about a stone off their actual weight if they're asked about it publicly

Google "six footer". It comes up as a noun describing someone of at least six foot in height?!? The same doesn't happen with five or seven.

It seems to be some sort of societal thing in people's heads. Plus to lots of women 5'11'' = short, 6' = tall. So one can understand a lad trying to squeeze in an inch here or there.

Being tall is definately a help with the fairer sex.

DivingDuck · 30-10-2018 3:49pm

Jackman25 wrote: »

A bugbear of mine, but I hate when people describe other people, particularly their partners as amazing.
The dictionary definition of amazing is "causing astonishment, great wonder, or surprise". That applies to very very few people.

It does only apply to few people, but it's subjective rather than objective.

If your partner doesn't seem amazing to you specifically, you're with the wrong person.

Jackman25 · 30-10-2018 4:01pm

esme95 wrote: »

Do you go around nit picking and analysing everything everyone says? It's a commonly used expression, get over it.

Nope, that stuff just bugs me. Like the words "legend" and "epic" have lost all meaning due to stupid clickbaity nonsense over-hyping stuff.

ginandtonicsky · 30-10-2018 4:04pm

Bigbagofcans wrote: »

Men are quite conscious about their height especially when a girl is looking for a 'tall dark and handsome man'.
I saw on a woman's dating profile before: 'No short men, no bald men and no Asian men, thanks'.

:pac::pac::pac:

Bit of casual racism there ftw.

It's got to be the absolute worst way of promoting yourself, leading with something like that, how lacking in self-awareness and self-respect do you need to be like?

On the male side, I used to see a sizeable amount of "no drama queens" and "not looking for a pen pal, only message me IF YOU WANT TO MEET UP" from guys on dating apps in the past. Fair enough, I get the point like, but jesus who wants to be around that kind of relentless negativity and grumpiness? It just conjures up images of being on a date with a total bore, like this guy

m5ex9oqjawdg2i · 30-10-2018 4:08pm

PapaOscar wrote: »

Release the hounds

Release the rounds...

I'll get my goat...

seamus · 30-10-2018 4:12pm

ginandtonicsky wrote: »

Bit of casual racism there ftw.

Is it though, really?

You're talking about attraction, physical attraction. An individual cannot really change what they find physically attractive. Obviously it's only a minor part of attraction overall; a great personality will overcome almost any unattractiveness.

But when you're talking about dating sites, first impressions are everything, and you're going to find it hard to go on a date with someone you find unattractive and think, "Ah sure I'll give them a shot". Whether that's because they're fat, skinny, small, tall, Asian, Irish.

Better off being honest and upfront about who shouldn't really waste their time.

I understand the optics of it, and it seems a bit cocky to say, "Only handsome people, please".

But at the same time I'm not going to judge someone who says they don't find, <insert race here> attractive. If someone said, "Persian women are the best" or "Italian men are the most attractive", it's not considered racism. So I don't see the issue the other way around.

chrissb8 · 30-10-2018 4:14pm

Bigbagofcans wrote: »

chrissb8 wrote: »

Met my current GF off tinder. Had weight on her, didn't care because she was just an amazing person and I was attracted to her as result of that.

Why describe her as current GF? She's your GF. Unless you plan on breaking up soon?

Semantics my friend. No need to nitpick.

chrissb8 · 30-10-2018 4:14pm

Bigbagofcans wrote: »

chrissb8 wrote: »

Met my current GF off tinder. Had weight on her, didn't care because she was just an amazing person and I was attracted to her as result of that.

Why describe her as current GF? She's your GF. Unless you plan on breaking up soon?

Semantics my friend. No need to nitpick.

Jackman25 · 30-10-2018 4:21pm

DivingDuck wrote: »

It does only apply to few people, but it's subjective rather than objective.

If your partner doesn't seem amazing to you specifically, you're with the wrong person.

Maybe I'm just getting curmudgeonly in my old age, but I hate to see this Instagram and Facebook nonsense pervading every day speech.
It is quite possibly to love your partner dearly while recognizing them as a normal, flawed, quirky unique human being.
When someone tells me their partner is amazing, I am looking for Nobel Prizes or Olympic Gold medals or stuff like that. I am almost always disappointed.

m5ex9oqjawdg2i · 30-10-2018 4:23pm

seamus wrote: »

Is it though, really?

You're talking about attraction, physical attraction. An individual cannot really change what they find physically attractive. Obviously it's only a minor part of attraction overall; a great personality will overcome almost any unattractiveness.

But when you're talking about dating sites, first impressions are everything, and you're going to find it hard to go on a date with someone you find unattractive and think, "Ah sure I'll give them a shot". Whether that's because they're fat, skinny, small, tall, Asian, Irish.

Better off being honest and upfront about who shouldn't really waste their time.

I understand the optics of it, and it seems a bit cocky to say, "Only handsome people, please".

But at the same time I'm not going to judge someone who says they don't find, <insert race here> attractive. If someone said, "Persian women are the best" or "Italian men are the most attractive", it's not considered racism. So I don't see the issue the other way around.

Jesus christ Seamus, why are you trying to rationalize this tripe? How can you say you are not attracted to over 4 BILLION people unless you have seen every single one. There's a huge spectrum of looks in Asia. It's casual racism and that's it.

suicide_circus · 30-10-2018 4:32pm

I think we need to be less worried about people calling us racist.

Wibbs · 30-10-2018 4:33pm

Nylah Powerful Pliers wrote: »

Jesus christ Seamus, why are you trying to rationalize this tripe? How can you say you are not attracted to over 4 BILLION people unless you have seen every single one. There's a huge spectrum of looks in Asia. It's casual racism and that's it.

No. It's not racism. I would be open to the possibility of being attracted to and going out with an Asian woman, or an African woman for that matter and I can certainly see that are are very good looking Asian and African women out there. However they just don't float my boat personally. I am attracted to European looking women. As Seamus noted; if I said I personally find European Latin women the most attractive, it doesn't follow that I find any other type ugly and it wouldn't be "reverse racism" either. If a Black woman told me she didn't really find White men attractive, I wouldn't consider that racism.

It would be dubious, even racist if someone straight out said they could never be attracted to and certainly wouldn't go out with [insert "race" here].

Bigbagofcans · 30-10-2018 4:44pm

chrissb8 wrote: »

Semantics my friend. No need to nitpick.

Relax. I heard you the first time.

Obvious Desperate Breakfasts · 30-10-2018 4:59pm

riffmongous wrote: »

I remember back in school when height would come up lads telling me I was 6ft because they were and we were the same height.. eh not a chance boss 5,11 tops

My friend is 5’8”. She said this eejit she works with insisted her to her that she had to be 5’11” because she was taller than him and he swore he was 5’10”. :pac:

Obvious Desperate Breakfasts · 30-10-2018 5:02pm

seamus wrote: »

Is it though, really?

You're talking about attraction, physical attraction. An individual cannot really change what they find physically attractive. Obviously it's only a minor part of attraction overall; a great personality will overcome almost any unattractiveness.

But when you're talking about dating sites, first impressions are everything, and you're going to find it hard to go on a date with someone you find unattractive and think, "Ah sure I'll give them a shot". Whether that's because they're fat, skinny, small, tall, Asian, Irish.

Better off being honest and upfront about who shouldn't really waste their time.

I understand the optics of it, and it seems a bit cocky to say, "Only handsome people, please".

But at the same time I'm not going to judge someone who says they don't find, <insert race here> attractive. If someone said, "Persian women are the best" or "Italian men are the most attractive", it's not considered racism. So I don't see the issue the other way around.

The bolded bit - nah. We’ve all met people we’re never going to fancy no matter how sound they are.

On the other point, a male friend of mine was hand-wringing over not finding east Asian women attractive. He thought it made him racist. I said to him “Do you feel superior to these women?”, he said “Of course not”. So I said “Then you’re not racist.”.

Duck Soup · 30-10-2018 5:05pm

The OP sounds like a real catch.

ginandtonicsky · 30-10-2018 5:08pm

seamus wrote: »

Is it though, really?

You're talking about attraction, physical attraction. An individual cannot really change what they find physically attractive. Obviously it's only a minor part of attraction overall; a great personality will overcome almost any unattractiveness.

But when you're talking about dating sites, first impressions are everything, and you're going to find it hard to go on a date with someone you find unattractive and think, "Ah sure I'll give them a shot". Whether that's because they're fat, skinny, small, tall, Asian, Irish.

Better off being honest and upfront about who shouldn't really waste their time.

I understand the optics of it, and it seems a bit cocky to say, "Only handsome people, please".

But at the same time I'm not going to judge someone who says they don't find, <insert race here> attractive. If someone said, "Persian women are the best" or "Italian men are the most attractive", it's not considered racism. So I don't see the issue the other way around.

Yes, we're all a bit "racist/sexist/ageist" etc when it comes to physical attraction on the face of it, which is entirely out of our control. Personally I'm not particularly sexually attracted to Asian men either, so I'm not disagreeing with the sentiment. It's a preference that I can't do much about.

What I do oppose s the totally blunt, obnoxious, arrogant way of expressing preference - "No Asians" - seriously? You're not shopping for a pizza, you're trying to connect with a fellow human and look, presumably, for the rare experience of falling in love with someone, the nuances are pretty important here.

Plus, it makes you SOUND racist, even if you can argue your way out of it on the technicality of "I cannot change what I find physically attractive". It's autistic and gross and would put anyone decent right off.

Bigbagofcans · 30-10-2018 5:11pm

seamus wrote: »

You're talking about attraction, physical attraction. An individual cannot really change what they find physically attractive. Obviously it's only a minor part of attraction overall; a great personality will overcome almost any unattractiveness.

Hmm, a great personality makes someone better looking but it's a bit too generous saying it'll overcome any unattractiveness.

Jackman25 · 30-10-2018 5:12pm

ginandtonicsky wrote: »

Yes, we're all a bit "racist/sexist/ageist" etc when it comes to physical attraction on the face of it, which is entirely out of our control. Personally I'm not particularly sexually attracted to Asian men either, so I'm not disagreeing with the sentiment. It's a preference that I can't do much about.

What I do oppose s the totally blunt, obnoxious, arrogant way of expressing preference - "No Asians" - seriously? You're not shopping for a pizza, you're trying to connect with a fellow human and look, presumably, for the rare experience of falling in love with someone, the nuances are pretty important here.

Plus, it makes you SOUND racist, even if you can argue your way out of it on the technicality of "I cannot change what I find physically attractive". It's autistic and gross and would put anyone decent right off.

Or you could just not give a f**k and not pander to idiots who love finding racism.

_Whimsical_ · 30-10-2018 5:17pm

ginandtonicsky wrote: »

Actually that's true, a lot of lads seem to think they're 6 ft! What's that all about?

Doesn't really affect me as at 5"1 anything above like 5"8 is "tall" to me, but...weird. Wonder if it's the male equivalent of that thing that women apparetently do, where they shave about a stone off their actual weight if they're asked about it publicly

Except they seem to actually believe it themselves whereas women know well they're lying about their weight /size.

I think that some men seem to take compliments to heart much more easily than women and completely believe their granny telling them they're a big strapping lad of 6ft when they are actually 5ft8 or whatever. It's quite endearing on some level but it's something very few women do. I find a man needs to hear a compliment once from literally any source to believe it whereas a woman needs it in sky writing and carved in blood by ten people before she'll consider it being true. Certainly compliments from grannies and aunties don't impinge on our self concept.

Surreptitious · 30-10-2018 5:21pm

Abomination of a thread.

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