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14-07-2020, 23:33   #1
 
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What rules would you bring in if you were dictator?

Mine:

Probably a bit Hitler like
  • Anyone who becomes a member of, voices support for, funds or attempts or conspires to do any of the aforementioned to a Eurosceptic party will be imprisoned for a duration of my decision in an undisclosed location.
  • Anyone with a criminal conviction will be sterilised. Three or more convictions equals death.
  • If you're caught in public without a face covering you will be shot dead on sight.
  • Speeders will be crushed in their car.
  • If you close pass a cyclist you will be dropped into an elephant stampede to show you what it's like.
  • NWCI and pavee point abolished.
  • Traveller ethnic status removed
  • Abolish inheritance tax.
  • Abolish vat on bikes and cycling accessories.
  • Legalised killing burglars or trespassers.
  • Teachers union abolished, they will have to do admin work in the summer and pay capped at €40k and 22 days if annual leave like the rest of us.
  • Twitter to be banned. Bloggers, vloggers and influencers to the gas chamber.
  • Artificial sweeteners in drinks, foodstuffs, mouthwash, chewing gum to be banned. Possession, consumption or manufacturing or said will result in death by boiling in water.
  • Slot machines to be banned.

I'm aware the EU mightn't agreed with me

Last edited by Hairy Japanese BASTARDS!; 15-07-2020 at 00:31.
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14-07-2020, 23:36   #2
Leg End Reject
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I'd insist you remember your hatred of teachers in the enforcement of your regime.
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14-07-2020, 23:38   #3
893bet
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Reregs to be shot on sight.
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14-07-2020, 23:38   #4
 
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If you pop out a child and can't afford to house it the child will be put up for adoption or you will be given a caravan by the state to live in. Social housing would be done away with. Pay your way or feck off, people are purposely popping out children to get a free house.

Anyone on the dole and are not actively seeking work every week there welfare will be cut altogether. Proof has to be uploaded every week and any interviews done will be sent onto dole office with feedback.
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14-07-2020, 23:48   #5
Berties_Horse
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Hairy Japanese BASTARDS! View Post
Traveller ethnic status removed.
That would be number one in my priorities.
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14-07-2020, 23:49   #6
Blaaz_
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Bring back the 10 pack of cigarettes
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14-07-2020, 23:51   #7
TheValeyard
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I'd bring back the original monster munch recipe
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14-07-2020, 23:52   #8
Blondini
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Luke Kelly statue immediately replaced with statue of Mr. Fegelien
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14-07-2020, 23:52   #9
gogo
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Hairy Japanese BASTARDS! View Post
Mine:

Probably a bit Hitler like
  • Anyone who becomes a member of, voices support for, funds or attempts or conspires to do any of the aforementioned to a Eurosceptic party will be imprisoned for a duration of my decision in an undisclosed location.
  • Anyone with a criminal conviction will be sterilised. Three or more convictions equals death.
  • If you're caught in public without a face covering you will be shot dead on sight.
  • Speeders will be crushed in their car.
  • If you close pass a cyclist you will be dropped into an elephant stampede to show you what it's like.
  • NWCI and pavee point abolished.
  • Traveller ethnic status removed
  • Abolish inheritance tax.
  • Abolish vat on bikes and cycling accessories.
  • Legalised killing burglars or trespassers.
  • Teachers union abolished, they will have to do admin work in the summer and pay capped at €40k and 22 days if annual leave like the rest of us.
  • Twitter to be banned. Bloggers, vloggers and influencers to the gas chamber.

I'm aware the EU mightn't agreed with me
Jesus Stalin, you put a worrying amount of thought into that list .... o^o
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14-07-2020, 23:57   #10
Atlantic Dawn
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My top ten...
  • Anyone with a double barrelled name would be reassigned the surname "Bellendia"
  • Wearing no socks or hidden socks while not wearing shorts will result in a permanent tatoo of a sock etched on your leg.
  • Any man who has hair that resembles a birds nest shall have an actual birds nest surgically embedded on their head.
  • If you can't position the L sticker on your car the correct way around you have a toe amputated to remind you.
  • Creation of a replica car model will result in a permanent ban on ever owning a car of any description for life.
  • Wearing of North Face lagging jackets in the middle of summer will result in your imprisonment from June to August in your local supermarkets chiller room.
  • Not having payment ready when your goods make their way through a checkout will result in seizure of all your assets and permission to only ever have access to €10 of cash at any given time.
  • Parking beside another car when there's 50 other spaces in the car park with no cars next to results in your car being crushed.
  • If you stop moving at the top of an escalator a nearby sniper will shoot you in the knee as a reminder to continue walking.
  • Adding a 'green' technology to your home where it won't make it's money back within 10 years banned.
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14-07-2020, 23:59   #11
JJayoo
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Murders/rapists/pedos are to be castrated and have their eyes removed
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15-07-2020, 00:08   #12
JohnnyFlash
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I'd only allow party members to own dogs. If you clean up and bin after your dog then you'd probably be a good candidate for the party.
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15-07-2020, 00:10   #13
Collie D
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Strict social distancing to be enforced in office toilets.

There is no reason other than some weird fetish to go into a cubicle beside someone else when there are three or four other empty ones.

Last edited by Collie D; 15-07-2020 at 00:15.
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15-07-2020, 00:21   #14
Ubbquittious
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Pubs would be kept closed
5km lockdown re-introduced
No plane or ferry in or out of the country carrying passengers


Corona virus cases will drop to 0 but I will go to my country retreat for a few weeks and circle around on a nice posh ride on lawnmower while everyone waits for me to emerge and start making statements again.


When unrest starts to build and pitchforks are being sharpened I'll lift all the lockdown rules, re-open all pubs with no closing time and no vat on the drinks, temporarily pedestrianise any streets that have more than a few pubs on them.


Few days later close all the pubs again to reduce the influx of alcohol poisoning victims arriving to the hospitals
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15-07-2020, 00:24   #15
El Tarangu
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Ban chewing gum.

I wouldn't ban gambling altogether, but I would certainly introduce some draconian restrictions on how bookies operate shops and online.
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