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Early 30's - gotten myself into a rut

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    #32
    joeharte123
    Registered Users Posts: 111 ✭✭joeharte123


    People can often underestimate the importance of human interaction. No matter what age you are you need to have face to face human interaction. Some people are better at distracting themselves compared to others and thus require to talk to people less. I believe in modern Ireland people like OP are becoming more common. Loneliness is a terrible thing and always has been. My advice is to put yourself out there, make contact with old friends, arrange days here and there and don’t be afraid of bothering people as all they can say is no. People can get caught up in their own ruts of just spending time with their girlfriends and would openly welcome an outing with a friend. Again, it doesn’t have to be drinking, it could be a coffee, pitch and putt, a hike.... literally anything!


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    #33
    PhilOssophy
    Registered Users Posts: 2,114 ✭✭✭PhilOssophy


    joeharte123 wrote: »
    People can often underestimate the importance of human interaction. No matter what age you are you need to have face to face human interaction. Some people are better at distracting themselves compared to others and thus require to talk to people less. I believe in modern Ireland people like OP are becoming more common. Loneliness is a terrible thing and always has been. My advice is to put yourself out there, make contact with old friends, arrange days here and there and don’t be afraid of bothering people as all they can say is no. People can get caught up in their own ruts of just spending time with their girlfriends and would openly welcome an outing with a friend. Again, it doesn’t have to be drinking, it could be a coffee, pitch and putt, a hike.... literally anything!

    I think it is a real symptom of our modern society, like if a stranger talked to most people on a bus, they would probably be freaked out by it, even if they just said hello.
    Social media and phones have definintely made us less social, more distant, and we have all lost the ability to focus on 1 conversation. Sad, but it is true. Talking to somebody, notification from phone, out with phone. It isn't a good way to live our lives in all honesty, even if we are all guilty of it.


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    #34
    _Kaiser_
    Registered Users Posts: 28,664 ✭✭✭✭_Kaiser_


    Good thread and i can relate to a lot of it.

    Like the OP I live alone and have a good job that I can do pretty much indefinitely from home (or anywhere really) so that's what I've been doing since March and have no intention of rushing back to the office - which is good because WFH looks to being a permanent thing now and I've no reason to be in the office most of the time anyway. I don't report to anyone locally and most of my work is with remote teams anyway.

    I live an hour away from work and I'd have a small circle of friends who are likewise all over the place, but we do have a Viber group that we talk shyte in and we do some online gaming during the week over Discord so those are good for keeping in touch, but generally I just do my own thing during the week. I'd then normally be down to see my son over the weekends, but with CV-19 and his mother a bit more freaked out about it than I would be, I haven't been down in a while but I chat to him on Whatsapp anyway too.

    Most of the time I'm fine on my own but it can be a bit lonely alright. Because of my (previous) commuting and the little fella, I'd have been home only really for a few hours in the evenings during the week, and then catching up on things when I wasn't down with himself. It didn't leave much time for socialising or a love life, but to be honest I don't mind that most of the time either. At my age (mid-40s) dating is a bit different anyway and I've no interest in getting drunk every weekend.

    One thing I have realised though is how much the daily commute was taking out of me. I was knackered most days when I got home and thus eating too much rubbish from takeaways and had no energy. Now I'm eating better, sleeping better and gotten lots done around the house in the last while, so it's been a positive in that sense so maybe when things get back to a more normal situation I'll try to socialise locally more as well.


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    #35
    Ultrflat
    Registered Users Posts: 1,016 ✭✭✭Ultrflat


    Im in my late 30's I'm recently single out of a marriage my night's are going to be very different, I will be living with house mates, but I guess the importance with being on your own for me is getting to know my self again.

    Finding hobbies you love. But also planning your week in advance not for something to do in the short time but for a way to make sure you have something to do over time. Maybe something to look into.

    I feel that the trap of hiding away is an easy one to fall into. The importance is to reach out to people. I feel the key is getting involved in groups/clubs a little difficult given current and what seem to be on going restrictions based on social distancing.


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