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What's the etiquette here??

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Comments

  • Registered Users Posts: 7,055 ✭✭✭JohnnyFlash


    What is the best treatment for arse grapes anyway? Nitro freeze and snip off?

    Heard chicks get a dose of the Johnny Giles far more regularly than men. Yet you never hear them talking about it.


  • Registered Users Posts: 10,428 ✭✭✭✭EmmetSpiceland


    Ush1 wrote: »
    Eating these protein bars lately and mother of God the smell off the gas being passed.

    Hot boiled parsnips.

    I ate a lot of broccoli yesterday. The stink is nothing short of noxious.
    What is the best treatment for arse grapes anyway? Nitro freeze and snip off?

    From what I gather, all from other sources, it’s cream, followed by a “procedure” known as “banding” where they sort of clamp the ‘roid to cut off its blood supply.

    If that doesn’t work, you’re looking serious, arse up, hand in, surgery. Getting right up in there while you’re “knocked out”.

    Just to re-iterate, I don’t, and never have, suffered the auld Johnny Giles.

    The tide is turning…



  • Registered Users Posts: 10,687 ✭✭✭✭padd b1975


    Serious breach of etiquette , so you are rinsing ****e down the shower drain ???

    jaysus!!!! ...

    Been covered at length early doors in the thread and was deemed to be acceptable.

    A removable shower head is always useful to blast away any stubborn debris.

    Tomato skins can be particularly troublesome..... Eh..... I've heard.


  • Registered Users Posts: 10,687 ✭✭✭✭padd b1975


    Heard chicks get a dose of the Johnny Giles far more regularly than men. Yet you never hear them talking about it.

    They never 'step on a duck' either if you were stupid enough to believe them.


  • Registered Users Posts: 10,428 ✭✭✭✭EmmetSpiceland


    padd b1975 wrote: »
    Been covered at length early doors in the thread and was deemed to be acceptable.

    A removable shower head is always useful to blast away any stubborn debris.

    Tomato skins can be particularly troublesome..... Eh..... I've heard.

    I seem to remember one thread “contributor” complaining about a hard cut of leek, that had been served in his dinner, which he had to, manually, “pinch” it out with his fingernails.

    Ghastly business, but completely, and understandably, necessary.

    The tide is turning…



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  • Registered Users Posts: 10,687 ✭✭✭✭padd b1975


    I seem to remember one thread “contributor” complaining about a hard cut of leek, that had been served in his dinner, which he had to, manually, “pinch” it out with his fingernails.

    Ghastly business, but completely, and understandably, necessary.

    Probably served up al dente by one of those foodie morons.

    Dude was asking for trouble.


  • Registered Users Posts: 10,428 ✭✭✭✭EmmetSpiceland


    padd b1975 wrote: »
    They never 'step on a duck' either if you were stupid enough to believe them.


    To be fair, P, you get lads like that as well. No pride.

    The tide is turning…



  • Registered Users Posts: 412 ✭✭Fireball81


    Serious breach of etiquette , so you are rinsing ****e down the shower drain ???

    jaysus!!!! ...

    Like I say i never used to do it but once I did it I found it much easier.

    Just had a particularly dark ****e, must have been the couple of cans of Guiness to wash down some BBQ'd steak last night.

    Off the throne and into the shower without a wipe, some lovely mint smelling shower gel foam to wash the ring piece.

    Went back for seconds on the foam for a good old tug - it was bliss lads!

    Now back to the day job.


  • Registered Users Posts: 10,301 ✭✭✭✭gerrybbadd


    Fireball81 wrote: »
    Like I say i never used to do it but once I did it I found it much easier.

    Just had a particularly dark ****e, must have been the couple of cans of Guiness to wash down some BBQ'd steak last night.

    Off the throne and into the shower without a wipe, some lovely mint smelling shower gel foam to wash the ring piece.

    Went back for seconds on the foam for a good old tug - it was bliss lads!

    Now back to the day job.

    The horrors the plumber will face into when he inevitably has to come out to unblock your shower drain. Filty, dirty kernt


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 395 ✭✭Class MayDresser


    gerrybbadd wrote: »
    The horrors the plumber will face into when he inevitably has to come out to unblock your shower drain. Filty, dirty kernt

    That's what the lackeys are for. Greased-up 19 year old gym member with his white trainers and arm tattoos the general fodder in these cases.


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  • Registered Users Posts: 10,428 ✭✭✭✭EmmetSpiceland


    Fireball81 wrote: »
    Off the throne and into the shower without a wipe, some lovely mint smelling shower gel foam to wash the ring piece. .

    Do you not find the mint gel a bit too “tingly”?

    Never enjoyed that “cold” feeling around the balls and badge.

    The tide is turning…



  • Registered Users Posts: 10,301 ✭✭✭✭gerrybbadd


    Do you not find the mint gel a bit too “tingly”?

    Never enjoyed that “cold” feeling around the balls and badge.

    Twasn't only the ball and barse either - he got back in for seconds and wore the helmet and banjo string off himself as well with it.


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 1,660 ✭✭✭armaghlad


    Do you not find the mint gel a bit too “tingly”?

    Never enjoyed that “cold” feeling around the balls and badge.
    Would second that. Not a pleasant sensation at all. That mint and tea tree oil is a horrible combination. A coconut/Shea butter man myself.


  • Registered Users Posts: 1,984 ✭✭✭Slideways


    Last week whilst working the camp food started to have a very detrimental affect on the bowls.

    I was constipated to fùckery. Was sitting on gods telephone rocking from left to right arse cheek just trying to get the **** out. Visibly sweating and no doubt redder than a young priests knees with the straining. Just as I was about to pass the point of no return the toilet door opened and someone took up position in the only other stall.
    Dropping his strides noisily he let rip with a monstrous fart before i heard him sit down.
    Getting the bolus moving again took some more quiet straining and finally it stretched the balloon knot to unbefore reached territory and *PLOOOOOOOP*, hit the water like a brick being dropped off the side of the QMII

    From next door the voice of the only aboriginal who works with us "hey, dat was a big poo yew jus dropped der boy'

    Fùck me dead, I nearly lost it. Took all my willpower to not burst out laughing. Certainly eased the blood pressure though after punting out the closest thing to an international rules ball.

    Just to add to his complete lack of etiquette he came out of the stall before i had managed to wash my hands and vacate the premises!


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 395 ✭✭Class MayDresser


    Is this kind of humour acceptable here?, not so sure. Seems a bit infantile but I laughed, a good bit.

    Go and have a look at the size of the sh1t I've just done in the bathroom!" I said to my wife.
    "No thanks," she replied.
    "Please, just one quick look," I said, "You won't believe it, it's a good two pounder."
    Shaking her head in disbelief, she pinched her nose, ran in, looked down the toilet, then ran out and said, "There's nothing down there, you must've flushed it."
    I said, "It's on the weighing scales".


  • Registered Users Posts: 18,931 ✭✭✭✭Brendan Bendar


    Infantile is good.


  • Registered Users Posts: 7,055 ✭✭✭JohnnyFlash


    Infantile is good.


    Levity seems to have gone out of fashion, Brendan.


  • Registered Users Posts: 10,428 ✭✭✭✭EmmetSpiceland


    Levity seems to have gone out of fashion, Brendan.

    Certainly on here, J. You’re not wrong.

    Lots of, unfunny, mindless drone types mopping around giving out about “how you can’t talk to woman these days” or “why won’t people buy Bitcoin, don’t they know it’s the future?”.

    You know the sort, the ones with no “internal dialogue” who only really seem to be on this earth to simply make up the numbers.

    Real saddos.

    The tide is turning…



  • Registered Users Posts: 18,931 ✭✭✭✭Brendan Bendar


    Left a load like a saddle of fresh pork in the en-suite earlier.

    Forgot to flush her.

    Things are not good right now.


  • Registered Users Posts: 1,913 ✭✭✭Pintman Paddy Losty


    Left a load like a saddle of fresh pork in the en-suite earlier.

    Forgot to flush her.

    Things are not good right now.

    Mrs Bendar burning the ear off ya?


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  • Registered Users Posts: 33,649 ✭✭✭✭Hotblack Desiato
    Restaurant at the End of the Universe


    From what I gather, all from other sources, it’s cream, followed by a “procedure” known as “banding” where they sort of clamp the ‘roid to cut off its blood supply.

    Don't they castrate sheep in a very similar fashion?
    I seem to remember one thread “contributor” complaining about a hard cut of leek, that had been served in his dinner

    Not as bad as the after effects of drunkenly wolfing down a packet or two of inadequately chewed Doritos. It was as if I'd eaten a box of Brillo pads.

    It took a while but I don't mind. How does my body look in this light?



  • Registered Users Posts: 832 ✭✭✭Nevin Parsnipp


    had a bit of a Gut this morn ...and was sommat concerned that it might be related to the chicken wings that I cooked on the barbi the previous evening !

    Considered a few Rennie lozzies but went for the more natural approach and dropped the breeks in the "good" kludgie.

    Strained out a pebbelly knott of laquered shiny midden which pinged of the can like fcukin hailstones....thankfully I had a moistened facecloth to wipe the fcukin sweat orf my brow ...and do the minimal clean up lower down ...

    Felt much better ....no drama ...just thought I would share ...


  • Registered Users Posts: 33,649 ✭✭✭✭Hotblack Desiato
    Restaurant at the End of the Universe


    It took a while but I don't mind. How does my body look in this light?



  • Registered Users Posts: 1,913 ✭✭✭Pintman Paddy Losty


    Hotback Desiato. Don't post in this thread again.


  • Registered Users Posts: 7,055 ✭✭✭JohnnyFlash


    Don’t know if I’ve a touch of that gluten intolerance thing that every fücking ballbag and arsehole seems to have these days.

    Made a roast chicken and stuffing roll for the lunch yesterday and haven’t been right since. It’s the farts. They’d curdle the milk in your tea from the next room. Awful. I’m blaming the stuffing.


  • Registered Users Posts: 1,814 ✭✭✭Lewis_Benson


    Don’t know if I’ve a touch of that gluten intolerance thing that every fücking ballbag and arsehole seems to have these days.

    Made a roast chicken and stuffing roll for the lunch yesterday and haven’t been right since. It’s the farts. They’d curdle the milk in your tea from the next room. Awful. I’m blaming the stuffing.

    Not enough roughage ted.


  • Registered Users Posts: 18,931 ✭✭✭✭Brendan Bendar


    Took on a large bowl of porridge at 0705 this morning.

    Sprayed a thin mist of light floury midden over the pan like a coating of fawn plaster at 0743.

    Very satisfactory.

    Left ‘ground zero’ a little ‘waffled’ but easily cleaned up.

    Are you listening Johnny Flash.


  • Registered Users Posts: 1,814 ✭✭✭Lewis_Benson


    Took on a large bowl of porridge at 0705 this morning.

    Sprayed a thin mist of light floury midden over the pan like a coating of fawn plaster at 0743.

    Very satisfactory.

    Left ‘ground zero’ a little ‘waffled’ but easily cleaned up.

    Are you listening Johnny Flash.

    Nothing to do with the porridge man.


  • Registered Users Posts: 18,931 ✭✭✭✭Brendan Bendar


    Nothing to do with the porridge man.

    Some nice pockets of oatmeal in the big log?


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  • Registered Users Posts: 1,814 ✭✭✭Lewis_Benson


    Some nice pockets of oatmeal in the big log?

    Not after 40 mins man, twas something else.


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