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Men's toilet habits

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    #32
    Rb
    Closed Accounts Posts: 14,277 ✭✭✭✭Rb


    Daith&#237 wrote: »
    Hi folks!

    This is not as disgusting as the title may suggest. However, being a male myself and someone who does NOT practice the habits I will outline below, perhaps those who do practice these things might be able to shed some light on it for me. Btw, I'm not obessesed by this - just some observances in my local last night.

    1) When there are 3 cubicles in the toilet, why do some lads pick the middle one??

    2) When there is no-one at the cublicles why do some men go into the conventional toilet?

    3) When there are one or two lads at the cublicles, why do some guys walk into the toilet, avoid eye contact, run into the toilet with the door, close it, LOCK it!, urinate, and then come out WITHOUT WASHING THEIR HANDS!!

    4) On that point, why do 90% of males not wash their hands?? (OK that figure might be a bit high!) I don't know how many times my other half or my other female friends were introduced to some rake who I know did not wash his hands.

    5) Why do some blokes stand at an odd angle as if they think that you want to view their willy??!!

    6) Why is it that some guys stare straight ahead, say nothing to the guy beside them, and have a bewildered look throughout the process?

    7) Why do some guys stare at their manhood in awe?!

    That's just a few, I have loads of others. And again, I'm not some kind of pervert, I just feel it's my social duty to document these things, just as John B.Keane observed the peculiarities of corner boys!

    As for my own 'toilet style', well I go in, nod at whoever is there and exchange banalities, go about my business and then wash my hands.
    You must have spent an awful lot of time in the bathrooms to draw these conclusions tbh.
    Now,

    Why is it that you spent what seemed to be an extended period of time standing in the mens bathroom checking out what the other men were doing?

    To answer question 5:
    Probably to stop those lurking in bathrooms, such as yourself, from checking out their penis.


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    #33
    MarkR
    Moderators, Regional Midwest Moderators Posts: 11,054 Mod ✭✭✭✭MarkR


    Eyes front. No talking. End of.


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    #34
    Wertz
    Closed Accounts Posts: 11,909 ✭✭✭✭Wertz


    The youtube thing is a good laugh but a bit OTT.

    Getting full marks in this test will qualify you to answer the OP's questions.


    On the no talking thing...no matter what pub in the country you happen to be in, there'll always be some eejit in the jacks that tries to engage in small talk or pass some remark...on the occasion that that's directed at me, i'll respond in as short a way as possible and walk out...is it considered proper etiquette to just ignore them and get the f*ck out?


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    #35
    slipss
    Closed Accounts Posts: 2,025 ✭✭✭slipss


    As far as washing your hands goes, I never really understood why some people think it's a big deal if you dont(after a p1ss only of course). I mean if you wash your penis when you take a shower and you don't piss all over your hands for some bizare reason, then where exactly is the problem.


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    #36
    copacetic
    Subscribers Posts: 16,559 ✭✭✭✭copacetic


    talking is allowed in one case.

    When someone lets one go at the urinals it has to be commented on by
    someone. A simple 'nice' will suffice if the dealer doesn't go with 'better
    out than in'


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    #37
    Agamemnon
    Registered Users Posts: 2,367 ✭✭✭Agamemnon


    FlutterinBantam wrote:
    I'm getting really tired of toilet threads....

    :eek: :eek: :eek: :eek: :eek: :eek: :eek: :eek: :eek: :eek: :eek: :eek: :eek:

    You're not the real FlutterinBantam! What have you done with him?!

    Call the mods, someone's hacked the Bant's account!


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    #38
    tampopo
    Registered Users Posts: 2,329 ✭✭✭tampopo


    I agree with the poster who says why wash when and if you've had a shower and not pee'd all over your hands. However if I was working with food or drink, I'd wash me hands regardless and 'loiter' at the sink nearest the door till someone went out and catch it with my foot so as not to touch the handle, otherwise why bother to wash yer hands at all???

    I try not to imagine bar workers at the end of an evening picking up glasses by sticking their fingers in the glasses, and thinking about all gunk and spit and saliva and gollliers that are around the rims of the glasses, and if someone then rubs their nose or face...ugggg.

    About three weeks ago I was in the IFI and the cook left the jacks without washing his hands, went straight back to the kitchen....terrible...


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    #39
    Mr. CooL ICE
    Registered Users Posts: 17,497 ✭✭✭✭Mr. CooL ICE


    Mordeth wrote:
    urine is sterile, and so long as you're not wandering around the bathroom running your hands over all the urinals your fingers/hands won't smell or be dirtier than they normally are.
    I'm going to have to disagree with this. I am someone who washes their hands, for the simple reason that I like them clean. I don't just wash them after taking a piss because theres piss on my hands - I learned not to do then when I was about 2 years old, and I hope most other people did the same - but my hands were holding my penis, which is underneath my underwear which tends to get a little sweaty and generally smelly throughout the day. I would also wash my hands if I ever felt the urge to rub my armpits, for the exact same reason. I mightn't necessarily have been sweating profusely, but its a simple case of hygiene awareness.


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    #40
    faceman
    Moderators, Category Moderators, Arts Moderators, Entertainment Moderators, Social & Fun Moderators Posts: 16,584 CMod ✭✭✭✭faceman


    How many blokes will admit to "crossin swords' with ur mates?


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    #41
    ferdi
    Closed Accounts Posts: 6,598 ✭✭✭ferdi


    Saruman wrote:
    I hate it when i walk into a cubicle and fine piss all over the seat.
    am i the only one who found this funny?


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    #42
    nlgbbbblth
    Closed Accounts Posts: 5,668 ✭✭✭nlgbbbblth


    Daith&#237 wrote: »
    Yes, I mean urinal. It can also be refered to as a cubicle.

    I take 'cubicle' to mean the place with a door and a proper toilet (not a urinal).

    You're not the real Daithí Locha.


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    #43
    copacetic
    Subscribers Posts: 16,559 ✭✭✭✭copacetic


    faceman wrote:
    How many blokes will admit to "crossin swords' with ur mates?

    admit away faceman, I'm listening. Tell us all about your swordfighting exploits with your 'mates'


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    #44
    WindSock
    Closed Accounts Posts: 18,239 ✭✭✭✭WindSock


    Mordeth wrote:
    i always wash my hands too, but really. there's no need it's just habit.

    urine is sterile, and so long as you're not wandering around the bathroom running your hands over all the urinals your fingers/hands won't smell or be dirtier than they normally are.

    Yes, but there may be something on the willies that are not clean and contagious too.
    Dogs spit is supposedly sterile too, but I'm still going to wash my face if he licks it.


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    #45
    astrofool
    Registered Users Posts: 16,457 ✭✭✭✭astrofool


    Urine is only sterile when in the body, as soon as it's out in the open, all sorts of nasties start to grow on it.


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    #46
    faceman
    Moderators, Category Moderators, Arts Moderators, Entertainment Moderators, Social & Fun Moderators Posts: 16,584 CMod ✭✭✭✭faceman


    copacetic wrote:
    admit away faceman, I'm listening. Tell us all about your swordfighting exploits with your 'mates'

    do you not know what it means or somethin??


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    #47
    Wertz
    Closed Accounts Posts: 11,909 ✭✭✭✭Wertz


    faceman wrote:
    How many blokes will admit to "crossin swords' with ur mates?


    I'd say about as many as will admit to preferring their mother to their g/f in your other thread...


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    #48
    WindSock
    Closed Accounts Posts: 18,239 ✭✭✭✭WindSock


    faceman wrote:
    do you not know what it means or somethin??

    I don't. Please enlighten me :) If i were to guess and i am only guessing now, i would think it had something to do with peeing in your neighbours urial while he pees in yours? why would you do that? hahaha


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    #49
    copacetic
    Subscribers Posts: 16,559 ✭✭✭✭copacetic


    boreds wrote:
    I don't. Please enlighten me :) If i were to guess and i am only guessing now, i would think it had something to do with peeing in your neighbours urial while he pees in yours? why would you do that? hahaha

    that sounds plausible, go with that faceman :)


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    #50
    faceman
    Moderators, Category Moderators, Arts Moderators, Entertainment Moderators, Social & Fun Moderators Posts: 16,584 CMod ✭✭✭✭faceman


    boreds wrote:
    I don't. Please enlighten me :) If i were to guess and i am only guessing now, i would think it had something to do with peeing in your neighbours urial while he pees in yours? why would you do that? hahaha

    its 2 guys sharin a loo for peeing.


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    #51
    copacetic
    Subscribers Posts: 16,559 ✭✭✭✭copacetic


    faceman wrote:
    its 2 guys sharin a loo for peeing.

    good save!


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    #52
    Wertz
    Closed Accounts Posts: 11,909 ✭✭✭✭Wertz


    faceman wrote:
    its 2 guys sharin a loo for peeing.

    Peeing eh? Never heard it called that before. Gotta love euphenisms...


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    #53
    faceman
    Moderators, Category Moderators, Arts Moderators, Entertainment Moderators, Social & Fun Moderators Posts: 16,584 CMod ✭✭✭✭faceman


    Wertz wrote:
    Peeing eh? Never heard it called that before. Gotta love euphenisms...

    you should get out more so ;)


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    #54
    copacetic
    Subscribers Posts: 16,559 ✭✭✭✭copacetic


    faceman wrote:
    you should get out more so ;)

    lads, lads, no need to compare penis sizes...

    http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=sword+fighting


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    #55
    faceman
    Moderators, Category Moderators, Arts Moderators, Entertainment Moderators, Social & Fun Moderators Posts: 16,584 CMod ✭✭✭✭faceman


    copacetic wrote:
    lads, lads, no need to compare penis sizes...

    http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=sword+fighting

    Jaysus chief, i said crossin swords, not sword fightin!!


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    #56
    Wertz
    Closed Accounts Posts: 11,909 ✭✭✭✭Wertz


    faceman wrote:
    you should get out more so ;)


    What and risk bumping into you in the gents?


    [edit] lol @ urban dictionary definitions


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    #57
    CiaranC
    Closed Accounts Posts: 6,300 ✭✭✭CiaranC


    LordChessington wrote:
    my hands were holding my penis, which is underneath my underwear which tends to get a little sweaty and generally smelly throughout the day. I would also wash my hands if I ever felt the urge to rub my armpits, for the exact same reason. I mightn't necessarily have been sweating profusely, but its a simple case of hygiene awareness.
    You should cut out the middle man and wash your lad in the sink! Sorted.


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    #58
    WindSock
    Closed Accounts Posts: 18,239 ✭✭✭✭WindSock


    That was sword fightin, this is what it says for sword crossin (ill presume its not the 1st definition)

    http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=crossing+swords


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    #59
    copacetic
    Subscribers Posts: 16,559 ✭✭✭✭copacetic


    boreds wrote:
    That was sword fightin, this is what it says for sword crossin (ill presume its not the 1st definition)

    http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=crossing+swords

    I stand corrected faceman, this is much better :eek:


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    #60
    faceman
    Moderators, Category Moderators, Arts Moderators, Entertainment Moderators, Social & Fun Moderators Posts: 16,584 CMod ✭✭✭✭faceman


    copacetic wrote:
    I stand corrected faceman, this is much better :eek:

    I knew you'd like it! ;)


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    #61
    Thrill
    Registered Users Posts: 5,485 ✭✭✭Thrill


    CiaranC wrote:
    You should cut out the middle man

    That's a bit drastic, isnt it?


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