Information with regards to seperation

Cindyss wrote: »

Hello all,
Would love the benefit of your knowledge here. Seperated from my wife for the last two years. I live in the family home with both my adult kids. My ex has moved to get home county. I want to move on with life but she refuses to enter mediation. I have a decent permanent job, whilst she has a decent contract position, ( could I have to pay her maintenance). She has access to a granny flat in the house and comes up whenever she wants and also uses the house etc. She pays half the mortgage, I have said I will pay all of it but she refuses, she rents a room from a family member at home. ( Would I have to pay for the other half of the mortgage??) I have no problem doing so now but would not line her to have access to the home, is that fair? Also I have a considerable pension whilst she doesn't, ( she has always worked but cashed in her pensions when moving) I have no issue sharing the pensions and realise she is more than entitled to her share. Has anyone been in this situation? I wouldn't mind keeping the house and could afford it but I would say it would be over her dead body. Can she force a sale?
Thanks for your input Tom

I am on a learning curve at the moment myself and in a similar situation, you need to get the best family law solicitor you can find first off, and they will walk you through the steps. However from what I have learned so far, you can issue her with judicial separation proceedings, once issued you can offer settlement talks and if she refuses you can then proceed with the case in court, I personally cant see her getting spousal maintenance if you have not being giving it to her with the last 2 years, however a lot would depend on the earning capacity of each person involved. Are any of your children under 18 or 23 in full time education? If so I would imagine a sale of the family home will not be forced, however in any case if your willing to buy her out Id imagine a sale would not be forced anyway. Access to each others houses etc can all be outlined within the separation agreement or dealt with by the judge. This is a painful process both emotionally and financially but if she refuses to discuss it and make an agreement between yourselves then you have only 2 options force the separation via the court or live with it the way it is.

In the same judicial separation process myself unfortunately ... On the challenge of getting "the best family law solicitor", how does one actually go about that? There is no ratings or review system that I know of out there? (Its unfortunately not a modern friendly place like Amazon or Hotels.com, where solicitors & barristers are all rated).

It also seems to still be a complete legal fee money racket in Ireland2020 and is not as clear cut in terms of asset division and maintenance % of income, as in many other Countries.
Going on personal recommendations of other people is also very subjective.
It would be the widely held view on forums that family law process in Ireland falls heavily in the favor of the female, particular if dependent kids involved. So as a man, I personally have struggled to find many men that have had a "good experience" using solicitors & barristers in an Irish JS process. If anyone knows of a good one that has represented well on the male side, please send me a direct email as Im still on the Quest myself for the Best Family law solicitor & barrister myself. Thanks you.

Dublin

She cashed in her pension to rent a room from a relative. That sounds so fishy to me and she's refusing to move things along she's up to something. Get legal advice now.