Introduce Yourself

kathy finn · 08-08-2009 8:14am

hi, i know how u feel, i was on a waiting list for 3 years before i was allocated a social worker to start my trace, i decided to do my own trace while i was waiting , my trace was unsuccessful because my mothers name was very common.
some people find it easy to find their birthmother and you could be one of the lucky ones, your first step is to get your own birthcert and take it from their , youve got nothing to lose....kathy

jigsaw07 · 07-10-2009 6:11pm

Hey guys,

Im 26 years old. I was fostered at 8 weeks old and was placed with my adoptive parents on Dec 1983.
About 5 years ago i decided that i would like information on my birth parents, so i rang Adoption committte and started the ball rolling, about a year later i was called back into the regional adoption committe and was given a letter of backround information on my parents. I only got their first names, their age when i was born, their jobs, hobbies and interests and a general idea of what they looked like, where i was born, where i was christened, it even said what date i got my BCG on.
So last week i decided to take it a step further and start a trace on them both, my mother more so that my father. Having a child of my own made me want to start this off.
SO i was wondering what happens with a trace, will they give me more info on them..etc.
Or could i do it myself? Iwouldn know where to start, like finding my orginal birth cert and things like that.

I would be very thankful for help/advice on this. thanks

kathy finn · 08-10-2009 11:41am

hi,
first of all have a look on the adoption ireland tracing guides on this forum.
you can ask your agency to start a trace for u, sometimes you are put on a waiting list and it can be a very long wait.
while your waiting you can start your own search, firstly you will have to make a trip to the records office in the irish life mall in dublin and get a copy of your original birth cert since u have so much info it sould be easy enough, your birhmothers surname will be on your birthcert.
if i was you i would print out the tracing guides and take them with u.
good luck and if your unable to get to dublin please pm me and i would be happy to help....kathy

Tenderloins1 · 20-10-2009 4:55pm

I'm 40 and adopted, the only member of my family to be adopted. Yet it was that difference that made me what I am, my parents and siblings all looked out and after me.
I couldn't have had a happier upbringing and am a long time married with a couple of beautiful children.
I got very sick 15 years ago and intended tracing my birth mother at the time but around the same time my Father passed on, so i'd enough on my plate. That said my mother was very encouraging for me to look.
Between one thing and another I have never bothered.
I'm happy and having my own wife and young family it would be a lot to put on them, especially if it were not to work out well.
I'm there on the register should someone wish to contact me.

The closest I've come was when I was getting married and I found myself in the same room as my proper Bamptismal(or Birth) Cert which had my natural mothers name on it. It was the strangest feeling...

maryjmul · 29-10-2009 1:35am

Kolodny wrote: »

Hi

my brother had 2 kids with the same girl when he was 16,the second child a girl went for adoption,at the time we were told the baby had died but now we know she was adopted the hardest thing for that young girl that her parents are still together today so cu;d someone please help me out as i love l my family and want to help neice when she wants answers and im really looking forward to her first visit she will soon be 18 and i hope she wants to know her bio family ,and a great big ty to her adoptive famly who made her the person she is today hi baby louise

Johner · 25-01-2010 12:32am

Hi,

I turned 21 last week and am adopted since birth. I have 2 sisters that are also adopted, one from the same birth mother as me. I recently found out that my birth mother does not want to be contacted, mixed feeling really but to be honest it doesn't bother me to much really. She was 16 when she had me. I love the family I'm with now so much and coudn't have a better family. The last few years have been tough for me but I'm doing ok now.

MaryMagdalene · 25-01-2010 10:39am

Hi Johner

Sorry about your birth mother - sounds like its her loss but delighted you are so happy with your family and at peace within yourself now.

Congrats on turning 21 - wish I was that young again

.

"My interest is in the future because I am going to spend the rest of my life there." by Charles F. Kettering, US electrical engineer & inventor (1876 - 1958)

Johner · 27-01-2010 3:18pm

Thank you Mary.

lorraine72 · 30-01-2010 2:15am

Hi i am 37 and was adopted from St Patricks mother and Baby home Navan road Dublin in early 1973. My birth mothers name was Geraldine and as far as i know she was from Meath or Westmeath. She was 16 or 17 when sshe had me in st J ames's Hospital Dublin. If anyone could help me find some more information i would be very gratefull thanks..

kathy finn · 30-01-2010 10:25am

hi lorraine,
have u got ur original birthcert, that would be the first place to start.
have a look at the tracing guides in the thread, another option is to contact the hse im not sure which area has the navan road records but the adoption board website will be able to help with that, ring them and ask them to do a search on ur behalf....good luck kathy
p.s ar u on the contact register, if not u can download a form on the adoption board website..

johnny25clare · 31-01-2010 2:08am

john here im 25 and from clare i was fostered from birth and was adopted by my foster parents it took seven years to go through the courts as my adoptive parents were the first in ireland to try to adopt a child that they were fostering so yes im a little bit of history and paved a way for alot of happy families i started the search when i was twelve i was young i know but the curiousity started when i was seven finally foung my birth mother when eighteen but that went sour i got used cut a long story short if anyone wants any advice or is conducting a search and needs some advice from some one that has been there dont hesitate in contacting me i have been reading these forums for ages finally im ready to share my experiances ps dont start your search until you have a stable mindit really is tough and it really could go anyway i was told to not have high hopes but i did not listen i really wish i had listened

Exclamation Marc · 23-02-2010 5:20am

Hi I'm Marc. 24 and was adopted from birth. Never really been sure or 100% on whether to contact or attempt to contact my birth parents. Parents always been super supportive and open with me since birth of whatever I wanted to do. I guess my issue is whether I should contact her and let her know that life is great for me and that I appreciate what she did for me,against her possibly not wanting to hear from me (for whatever reason, which I don't think I'd be offended or hurt by) and also knowing my medical history can't be a bad thing.

So, im summation

I've never really come close to deciding on whether I'll do anything or not, I guess I should sit down and think about it sometime

MaryMagdalene · 23-02-2010 10:38am

Hi FireballPitcher, welcome. I am a natural mother and I am speaking purely from my own perspective. I don't believe that any Mother can ever forget, even those who want to. No matter what, our children are always within us; even for those that don't wish for contact for whatever reason.

I think that it would be nice to make the gesture provided you are comfortable with whatever this may or may not start. Some people are satisfied with just knowing everything turned out okay and some are not. I would not have been and thankfully my daughter is the same. In fact we are heading for our first meeting next month and I can't wait.

Perhaps a good place for you to start would be to join the National Contact Register to see if she has joined too. This will give you time to think too as its important that you are comfortable with your decisions.

rose1 · 23-02-2010 12:05pm

Hi marc,

i know how you feel i was all over the place wondering if i should or should'nt, like you mt parents were always honest and supportive of me, but i think that in the back of my my mind i was still worried that i might upset them if i pursued after all to them i was their daughter. Any way my son became ill and was admitted to hospital had to get loads of tests done just because i had no medical backround, this was what made me make the decision to search for my bm.

We meet in December and its been going great and there are medical conditions that i should have known about sooner.

at the end of the day it is entirely up to yourself, but I would advise it. It has to be better that constantly wondering.

I have contact details of a support group based in Cork, they are amazing. they found my bm within a month and contacted her on my behalf. If you want details let me know.

Best of luck:)

Le King · 16-03-2010 12:56am

Hi, my name is Gonzalo. My grandmother who is Spanish found out she was adopted 18 years ago(Yes at 55 at her adopted mother's deathbed!). She traced her routes to Ireland, met her original family and fell in love with the country. 16 years ago we all moved here from the States and haven't moved back since. Love this little country. Starting to get a proper Irish accent now too.

Pretty cool I think.

I consider myself Irish-Spanish now rather than Irish-American or American-Spanish. My dual nationality and Irish passport will prove this.

Just thought I'd share that.

MaryMagdalene · 17-03-2010 11:05am

Hi Gonzalo, welcome to this forum. Nice to hear a happy story. Irish-Spanish!! Now that is a fiery combination.....:D

Irishangel113 · 30-03-2010 6:22am

Hello, all-

I've known from the start of "me" that I was adopted, but it's just been in the past few years that I've really been looking for my birth parents. My adoptive mother finally, although somewhat reluctantly, gave her approval for me to search. At the time of my adoption, she refused pretty much all information regarding my birth parents thinking that I wouldn't be interested in knowing about them when I grew up. Sooo... the State of Colorado-USA-seals all their adoption records, until recently. In the past week I've received a copy of my original birth certificate and found my birth mother's maiden name and the part of Ireland that she's from! That information alone was exciting. I'm now waiting on my file to which I'm hopefully granted access- my request has to go before a Judge yet. I would love to actually find my birth mother's birth certificate and see what I can find on that end.
Sorry for rambling.... Glad to meet you all!

kathy finn · 30-03-2010 8:06am

hi irish angel,
if you know ur mothers name and about what age she was when she had u im sure someone over here will look up ur mothers birthcert for u.
give me a shout if ur stuck....kathy

Irishangel113 · 30-03-2010 3:54pm

Hi, Kathy-

I greatly appreciate any and all offers of help! I do know that she was 24 years old when she had me- her full name was Bridget Mary O'Connor- I was born in April of 1957 in Colorado. That would put her birth sometime in 1933. She was from County Cork. Outside of that, and not being familiar with "where" in County Cork that she was from, or even knowing how to find that out, I do seem to be stuck. I would love it if you could poke around in your spare time and see what you come up with!

Thank you so much!

Bridget

kathy finn · 30-03-2010 6:48pm

hi bridget,
i should be in the records room in dublin in the next couple of weeks and i will look up a birth record for ur mother. the name is quite popular so u could end up with more than one....kathy

Irishangel113 · 30-03-2010 8:20pm

Hi, Kathy-

I seriously wish I had more information to work with- I have absolutely no idea where in County Cork she was from- all my birth cert says is
County Cork Ireland. I realize this is going to be like looking for a needle in a haystack, and I'm looking in every nook and cranny I can find, but with such limited information, I'm afraid it's going to be a rather fruitless search. I do so appreciate all of your help! I feel as though I've just made a new friend!

Thanks so much,

Bridget

Heatherward · 31-03-2010 3:44am

Hi very nervous but feel I would love to talk and share thoughts and feelings with like minded people. Have just started my search for birth mother ... i am 42 with my own family who I adore but have always felt the need to find where I came from and who I came from. Have received non disclosing information from agency which although scant amazing I now know what hospital I was born in and what weight I was. Also received some information about my natural father is this unusual?? The agency said they would continue my search and I should hear back in about 4 weeks ... will I , wont I its emotions are like a roller coster anybody else out there is the same place or gone through the same thing? Love to hear from you. Thanks

Irishangel113 · 31-03-2010 4:41am

Hi, Heather!

Nice to meet you... I, too, am looking for my birth parents- here for my mother as she was born in Ireland. I've been looking off and on for several years with the "blessing" of my adoptive mother... she's always been a bit hesitant about it-at the time of my adoption 52 years ago, she chose not to take the birth parent information that was available, thinking that I wouldn't be interested in knowing "that stuff". Well, believe me, I'm interested! Like you, I want to know how much I weighed at birth, I want to know "do I look like mom or do I look like dad"... I realize that after so many years the chances of my finding either of them alive is slim to possibly none, but I've GOT to look. It's almost like I'm not complete- there's a bunch of pieces missing to the "Bridget puzzle". I was finally just recently able to get a copy of my original birth certificate- that was a little paper treasure chest!
I'd love to visit with you- I'm on the same roller-coaster!

Bridget

kathy finn · 31-03-2010 9:10am

hi bridget, i will have a look for u, my own birthmother came from cork and with a name like elizabeth murphy i had a hard time traceing her. but if we can find a birthcert for her u might have more luck in tracing her over in america....kathy

The_Conductor · 31-03-2010 9:53am

kathy finn wrote: »

hi bridget, i will have a look for u, my own birthmother came from cork and with a name like elizabeth murphy i had a hard time traceing her. but if we can find a birthcert for her u might have more luck in tracing her over in america....kathy

Anything is possible- I managed to find my mother- Mary Reilly, from Cavan........ It may take further investigation other than a birthcert hunt- I'd encourage Bridget to try and as much info from her adoption file as possible- even innocuous comments in it, might be the key to unlocking her search.

ma1read · 31-03-2010 8:38pm

Hi everyone,
My mum told me a year ago that I have an older brother that was given up for adoption. It came as a huge shock to me. I had no idea. I think she told me partly because she wants to find him and she's not quite sure how to do it. Shortly after this revelation, we had some difficult family problems to deal with and it wasn't the right time to initiate the trace. Not one day has passed since where i haven't thought about my brother.

I'm heading to Dublin tomorrow with my copy of the trace guide to begin my search. My parents weren't married at the time and were quite young. My dad's mum was extremely religious and very traditional views, which i suppose was the norm for the 1970s. The whole pregnancy was kept a major secret. Apart from my parents only a friend of my mum knew. They called him Brendan which was probably changed. He will be 36 this month and i can't help but wonder whether he is married and has his own children. My mum worries that he will find it difficult to deal with the fact that she married our dad and that he has four full siblings.
I hope he has had a good upbringing and that the decision my parents made at that time has worked out for him.

Do you think there is a chance that he doesn't know he is adopted? I have a psychic friend who gave me some information and told me that he doesn't know that he is adopted. My mum was told the same thing by a different medium. She told me that he will find out and that we will be united in the future. ( I know many of you will be sceptical - i useta be until i met this girl)

Anyway that's the gist of my tale.
No doubt i'll be in touch again for advice after i get some info.

Mairead

The_Conductor · 31-03-2010 9:05pm

ma1read wrote: »

Hi everyone,
My mum told me a year ago that I have an older brother that was given up for adoption. It came as a huge shock to me. I had no idea. I think she told me partly because she wants to find him and she's not quite sure how to do it. Shortly after this revelation, we had some difficult family problems to deal with and it wasn't the right time to initiate the trace. Not one day has passed since where i haven't thought about my brother.

I'm heading to Dublin tomorrow with my copy of the trace guide to begin my search. My parents weren't married at the time and were quite young. My dad's mum was extremely religious and very traditional views, which i suppose was the norm for the 1970s. The whole pregnancy was kept a major secret. Apart from my parents only a friend of my mum knew. They called him Brendan which was probably changed. He will be 36 this month and i can't help but wonder whether he is married and has his own children. My mum worries that he will find it difficult to deal with the fact that she married our dad and that he has four full siblings.
I hope he has had a good upbringing and that the decision my parents made at that time has worked out for him.

Do you think there is a chance that he doesn't know he is adopted? I have a psychic friend who gave me some information and told me that he doesn't know that he is adopted. My mum was told the same thing by a different medium. She told me that he will find out and that we will be united in the future. ( I know many of you will be sceptical - i useta be until i met this girl)

Anyway that's the gist of my tale.
No doubt i'll be in touch again for advice after i get some info.

Mairead

Hi Mairead,

Best of good luck tomorrow.
While its highly improbable that your brother does not know that hes adopted- with respect of psychics/mediums etc- I do not believe in them personally, and cannot see any reason that they would have any idea about whether or not he'd know.

The very best of good luck to you- and feel free to ask any questions you may have.

Shane

ma1read · 01-04-2010 8:46pm

Thanks Shane

Managed to identify 6 potential matches. Sent a letter to st patrick's guild for non identifying info and have filled in the form for copies of the entries in the adoption register. Hopefully all the pieces will fit together.

Has anyone had any experience of st. patricks guild? Are they generous with info. Does anyone have a rough idea how long their waiting list is for tracing? I'm in two minds whether to pursue this myself, or to use the adoption agency. I'll prob take each step as it comes.

Heatherward · 01-04-2010 9:38pm

Irishangel113 wrote: »

Hi, Heather!

Nice to meet you... I, too, am looking for my birth parents- here for my mother as she was born in Ireland. I've been looking off and on for several years with the "blessing" of my adoptive mother... she's always been a bit hesitant about it-at the time of my adoption 52 years ago, she chose not to take the birth parent information that was available, thinking that I wouldn't be interested in knowing "that stuff". Well, believe me, I'm interested! Like you, I want to know how much I weighed at birth, I want to know "do I look like mom or do I look like dad"... I realize that after so many years the chances of my finding either of them alive is slim to possibly none, but I've GOT to look. It's almost like I'm not complete- there's a bunch of pieces missing to the "Bridget puzzle". I was finally just recently able to get a copy of my original birth certificate- that was a little paper treasure chest!
I'd love to visit with you- I'm on the same roller-coaster!

Bridget

Hi Bridget,

Thanks for your reply well done for getting your original birth cert thats my next plan with the information I have got from agency ... I know they have said that they will look for this for me but I want it now !!! Although you may not find your birth parents you may have siblings, etc how exciting is that.

Good luck with your search I'll keep you up to date with mine.

Heather:)

shortstuff · 08-04-2010 9:16am

Hi, I'm Tanya, I'm 29 and was put up for adoption when i was a month old( i must have been a little terror

). I had contact with my birth mum about ten years ago but i but nothing since, have found out she's been looking for me again recently,so i'm debating internally. She currently live in Canada so it's not as if i can just pop round and surprise her seeing as she is looking for contact again. But sure how and ever. Nice to meet ya'll.:)

Introduce Yourself

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