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22-05-2016, 21:37   #1
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relationship woes


So my boyfriend of 3 years broke up with me. We exchanged a few emails and we met up a week later, he wanted to fight for our relationship. He promised the sun moon and stars, said he made a mistake and he loved me.
2 days later he went really cold and it was obvious he didn't want to talk.
The he broke up with me. I don't think he was with anyone else or anything.

Why could a man do this? Just turn off his feelings like a tap.
22-05-2016, 23:33   #2
Join Date: Aug 2015
Posts: 5,853
Breakups aren't always cut and dried affairs but are more complicated than that. They often involve self-doubt, conflicting feelings etc. It's likely that your boyfriend was having doubts about the relationship for a while and then broke up with you. It can come as quite a shock to the other person as they often don't see the break-up coming. Then once he had broken up, he started wondering had he done the right thing. My guess is that getting back with you again made him realise that he wanted to be single after all.

You might not like the advice I'm going to give you now but just about everyone here will agree with me on this. The kindest thing you can do for yourself in the long term is to cut contact with him. It's going to hurt in the short term because you've still got feelings for him but it will make the process of getting over him much easier. The last thing you need to be doing is seeing pictures of him on Facebook or to be staying in contact with him as "friends".
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23-05-2016, 13:31   #3
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Join Date: Jan 2001
Posts: 3,941
OP - there is a back story here. And you dont know or haven't shared the details of what is going on in the background.

There is a reason why your boyfriend has acted this way, (it might be the crappiest excuse for a reason), but if you really dont know whats going on, i dont think you can expect to 'understand'. you will have to face the fact you may never get closure here.

If you are on good terms with a fried or sibling of his, you could reach out and ask if they can shed some light on his behaviour.

But perhaps you might be better off preserving your dignity and cutting contact.
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