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15-12-2016, 19:11   #46
Steve012
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Yep. He wasnt happy at all. Have a read of it yourself if you dont believe me.
I believe ya!, poor auld Joe, I often thought that when I was a wee one. He must of thought she cheated.
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15-12-2016, 19:28   #47
me_right_one
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I believe ya!, poor auld Joe, I often thought that when I was a wee one. He must of thought she cheated.
It gets better. They weren't married at the time, so Joe thought that he might be accused of raping her. If she wasnt leaving, then he would. He was getting ready to leggit. Different times, same problems.

So the whole myth about the Catholic Church being anti-single mothers and anti-unmarried sex etc. is utter, utter, bollox. Usually espoused by those who know nothing about the church or the Bible. Jesus himself was born to an unmarried mother.
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15-12-2016, 19:30   #48
Cortina_MK_IV
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It'd make a great episode of Jeremy Kyle.
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15-12-2016, 19:35   #49
Glenster
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This whole thing seems like its generating a lot of fuss, hes a pretty chill guy, he doesnt really do conflict.

This might all be a bit much for him. I'll recommend that he lays low for a while and when he does come out as jesus I'll tell him to do the whole float from the sky thing if everyone thinks it will help.
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15-12-2016, 19:44   #50
SEPT 23 1989
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He is going to be angry as fcuk over the treatment he got the last time he was here
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15-12-2016, 20:00   #51
Pherekydes
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Em, guys, we've already had the second coming. He died and two days later he rose from the dead. That's it. That's the whole shebang. No more coming back, especially after 2000 years.

And he won't be judging anyone. He's dead.
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15-12-2016, 20:02   #52
Pherekydes
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He is going to be angry as fcuk over the treatment he got the last time he was here
He's going to be super pissed when he hears what happened the Jews.
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15-12-2016, 20:06   #53
 
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The new Jesus would put his phone away for 40 days and 40 nights, have a cheeky nandos with 12 of his mates on good Friday, be arrested later that day and sentenced to 4 years but be let out on the Sunday as there is no space.
He returns as a hero to his skanger mates for beating the system.
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15-12-2016, 20:09   #54
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I could be the new jesus. I've a beard.
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15-12-2016, 20:21   #55
Esel
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It gets better. They weren't married at the time, so Joe thought that he might be accused of raping her. If she wasnt leaving, then he would. He was getting ready to leggit. Different times, same problems.

So the whole myth about the Catholic Church being anti-single mothers and anti-unmarried sex etc. is utter, utter, bollox. Usually espoused by those who know nothing about the church or the Bible. Jesus himself was born to an unmarried mother.
So the Magdalen laundries never happened? What about the Holocaust?
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15-12-2016, 21:08   #56
Fuaranach
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One of the best pieces of literature and philosophy ever written in any language is a sort of 'What if Jesus returned' from Dostoevsky:

The Grand Inquisitor

Well worth taking time out to soak its impact up.
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15-12-2016, 21:23   #57
Omackeral
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You can tell him yourself when you meet him. Jesus didnt give cancer to kids, modern life which you helped create did - and he's gonna ask you what YOU did to prevent it?
He's not gonna ask me that I don't think. Also, I can't speak Hebrew.

You know how God is all knowing and omnipotent etc and made everyone here on Earth. Then why did he make some people gay and then turn around and condemn homosexuality? Why did he make them that way in the first place like?
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15-12-2016, 21:53   #58
Rented Mule
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He's not gonna ask me that I don't think. Also, I can't speak Hebrew.

You know how God is all knowing and omnipotent etc and made everyone here on Earth. Then why did he make some people gay and then turn around and condemn homosexuality? Why did he make them that way in the first place like?
You have to admit that Jesus really is an auld ****.
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15-12-2016, 22:25   #59
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If he could turn Buckfast into wine I'd follow him anywhere.
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15-12-2016, 22:46   #60
J Mysterio
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If he could turn Buckfast into wine I'd follow him anywhere.
Buckfast is more exspensive than wine ffs.
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