Lets all be anxious/depressed together.

Today - I'm not sure what's worse....the fear of the panic attacks, or the fear that they'll never stop.

Yesterday was very, very bad. For me. I know my issues mightn't seem that big, but in my head they're huge.

I think it's the time of year too....after Christmas, still dark and cold all the time. Doesn't help.

There's a thread over in the "phobias" forum, that maybe should be linked to this thread?

Unfortunately, you can't post anonymously there, so I can't post there, but I noticed something very interesting there that had been copied and pasted from an anxiety site. I thought the articles were very good. I don't pretend that I have what some people would call full social anxiety,as there are those who are far worse than me. But there's no doubt I have problems with obsessive thinking and anxiety in certain situations and about certain things.For me, it's a case of learning to control my thinking, so it stops overcoming me - I can go through good periods for months on end, then suddenly, awful periods for months on end, where life and my thoughts just get the better of me, though I struggle on with it anyway.


So I hope the original poster doesn't mind, but I've copied some of the articles that he/she did onto the phobias forum, along with the original link to the site in question. I hope this helps some people.

FROM THE WEBSITE ANXIETY NO MORE
LISTEN TO YOUR BODY

When we first experience anxiety, it is, in most cases because of a period of stress and worry. Our body cannot take any more so it sort of shuts down; it has reached a breaking point and has said enough is enough. This may lead to feelings of anxiousness, feelings of panic, the feelings of detachment. It does not matter what the symptoms are; your body is saying “I can take no more”, which is where the word breakdown comes in, because that is really what it is. Now all your body is asking for is a rest and time to rejuvenate itself. Do we give it that time? No, through no fault of our own, we then worry about these symptoms, worry that we are going mad, wonder why we feel so anxious, so emotionless and this puts more worry and strain on our already tired body. We may begin to feel worse, we tell ourselves we must get a grip of this thing, so we fight it and worry even more. Well I think you can now see why these symptoms persist.
This is exactly what I did for all those years while I suffered. In fact I was worrying because I had been ill for so long and my days were filled with fighting and worry. This is what I am forever telling people. In order to help yourself, do not fight to feel better. Do not worry and obsess about how you feel. You need to give your body the break it so craves.

EMBRACE NATURE
Step outside and take a walk, go for a bike ride or a swim. Try not to sit around indulging in self-pity at the way you are feeling. Getting out of the familiar surroundings that you find yourself in every day can refresh your mind and really give it another focus apart from yourself. This is a very good way of helping your thoughts become more outward instead of inward.
Exercise is also one of the best physical stress-reducing techniques available. Exercise not only improves your mental and physical health it also reduces stress. It relaxes tense muscles and can aid sleep. Exercise also burns off all the stress chemicals and creates a release for all the anxiety and worry that can build up in our day.

JUST BE
Stop fighting your symptoms, tensing against how you feel, trying to push your symptoms away. Don't spend everyday going round in circles trying to figure it all out. This just adds more stress and anxiety to how you feel. Worrying just makes your mind more and more tired, more and more detached from everything around you. If fighting worked you would be cured by now so why not try the opposite. Recovery is never a 'I must rid myself of these feelings', it is all about not doing. Some people try and control how they feel day in, day out, they worry and fight their way through their day, trying to get the better of this thing. Imagine the stress this puts on that person, the body wants and needs a break and it gets the exact opposite. When you go round all day trying to physically and mentally control how you feel, do something about it, keep a grip on yourself, you are doing everything wrong, the exact opposite of what you should do.
However you feel, just accept it. Fighting your symptoms and trying to push them away just adds more tension to your already anxious body, it just adds to your feelings of anxiety and this is why this condition stays with you. You can never hope to recover this way. It is human nature to fight something, it is all we know to do. But with anxiety it is the very last thing you should do.

EMBRACE YOUR FEARS
Start to move towards your fears, as you may now know avoidance just does not work. By avoiding you are telling your body you are in danger, this then becomes a learnt behaviour and forms your new habit to run away from how you are feeling.
The best bit of self help advice I was given was "Avoid your fears and they begin to grow, move towards them and they dampen" This may not be easy at times, but this is the way to de-sensitise. Invite your symptoms and fears, shake them by the hand, let them be there. They hate been invited as they have no fear to feed on and this is the very thing that keeps them alive.

FORGET THE MIRACLE CURE
Just like I did, too many people like spend too much time searching for that miracle cure or the new magic pill that is just going to make it all go away instantly, that cure that so many people falsely promise. They also may be convinced they have missed something and that the answer must have eluded them so far. I tried every so called cure available to me, until I realised the cure must come from within. Recovery comes through the correct information and a little patience. The best way to help yourself is not to spend every day trying to rid yourself of how you are feeling, but to be willing to work with the feelings there. This is the way to give your mind and body a break. Worrying and fighting daily just adds to your feelings of anxiety and panic and keeps you in the cycle. Nothing is achieved overnight, but with knowledge, comes less worry, less fear and this helps give your mind and body the time and space it needs to recover. In the end it was a realisation that I had to let recovery come to me and not to spend hours each day chasing it.


STOP THE "WHAT IF'S"
Today is a good day to stop the 'What if' thoughts.
What if I never get better?
What if it’s not anxiety, but a different mental problem?
What if my old self is lost forever?
What if there is something else wrong with me, brain tumour?
What if I can't breathe?
What if I have to live like this for the rest of my life?
What if it’s just me that feels like this?
What if I'll never be able to enjoy the things I used to?
Thoughts like this are a waste of time and they usually amount to nothing.
All they do is keep your anxiety alive. All this worrying puts a tremendous burden on your body. Recovery is not about resting the body as much as resting the mind. Thrashing it daily with worrying thoughts only increases your feelings of panic and anxiety. Since recovery, I have found that worrying is the single most useless emotion we have. It serves no purpose whatsoever and is only counter-productive.
The next time you have one of these ' What if ' thoughts, just let it go. It's just your habit to worry - understand this - realise it will serve you no purpose and just let it go.

UNDERSTANDING FEELINGS OF UNREALITY - RECOVERING FROM DEPERSONALISATION AND DEREALISATION
Sufferers of Depersonalisation or Derealisation feel divorced from both the world and their own body. Often people who experience depersonalisation claim that life "feels like a dream", things seem unreal, or hazy; some say they feel detached from their surroundings. Another symptom of this condition can be the constant worrying or strange thoughts that people find hard to switch off.
People often say that no matter how hard they try, they don't feel like they can interact with the world around them. They feel a sense of detachment from their surroundings, finding it hard to talk and connect with others. Also they feel no love for the people closest to them and even question if they did a certain task or had a particular conversation. The most upsetting thing is they lose a sense of who they are and can't seem to perceive themselves as being normal.
Depersonalisation is a common and understandable offshoot of the anxiety condition. Before going further into depersonalisation, let me clear up one thing that I get asked often. “No, you are not going mad.” This feeling comes from being constantly worried about your own problems, it is not serious or harmful in any way and has a totally logical explanation. It is temporary and, with patience and understanding, eventually passes like any other symptom.
Depersonalisation occurs with anxiety because you are so used to watching yourself, questioning your illness, day in, day out, that you start to feel detached from the outside world. Your mind has become tired and less resilient through watching and worrying about your symptoms. It has been bombarded with worrying thoughts and becomes fatigued. When our limbs tire, they ache. When our mind tires, we feel these strange feelings of detachment from the world around us, experiencing an almost dreamlike state, convincing ourselves that we are going mad or losing it. You are not; your mind is just so very tired and just craves a rest from all this introspection of oneself.
When people are caught up in the worry cycle, they begin to think deeply and constantly. They study themselves from deep within, checking in and focusing on their symptoms. They may even wake in the morning only to continue this habit, “How do I feel this morning? “I wonder if I will be able to get through today?”. What’s this new sensation I feel?” This may go on all day, exhausting their already tired mind further. This constant checking in and constant assessing of their symptoms then becomes a habit. The more they worry and obsess about how they are feeling, the more detached they feel, which in turn has them worrying and obsessing even more, the outside world now takes up little of their attention, they are just so concerned about themselves.
All this worry is bound to make your mind feel dull and unresponsive. You are so concerned about how you feel, that you are letting nothing else into your day. Is it any wonder you have come to feel so distanced and detached from your surroundings? Is it any wonder you find it so hard to concentrate? Some people, when studying for exams for hours on end, reach the point where they can no longer take information in, so they take a break and carry on the day after. For you, there are no breaks and no time outs.
What a lot of people don’t know is that depersonalisation can occur in people without anxiety or panic issues. This can occur when someone has lost a loved one, been involved in an accident or maybe a recent shock. It is the body’s way of protecting you from all the worry or hurt you maybe feeling, like a safety valve and it is there to protect you. This is normally temporary and when, say, the person grieving overcomes some of the hurt, the depersonalisation will fade. The trouble with anxiety is that people suffering have a tendency to worry and the depersonalisation comes along to protect you from all this stress and daily worry. People can then feel detached, empty or emotionless. What happens then is that people begin to worry and obsess over this new feeling, thinking it's something serious or they are going mad. They may even forget their anxiety and focus solely on this new feeling which can lead to these feelings increasing. The unreality grows as we enter a cycle of worry and fear and so your body protects you from these feelings of unreality even more, making you feel more distanced and detached than ever. It is the very worry and fear over this feeling that keeps you in the cycle.
The way to move forward out of depersonalisation is not to worry and obsess about it, but to work with it there; to give it as much space as it needs and not be too impressed by it. See it as your body protecting you and not a sign that something terrible is happening or that you are going mad. This symptom is like any other and the more you worry or obsess about it, the bigger the problem can become and the longer you stay in the cycle.

The site in question is called www.anxietynomore.co.uk. There's a lot more on it, and while there is a book, almost everything is there, and is free. I don't know if the original poster has found this forum or not yet, but if they have, I'd like to say thanks to them.

I'm sorry this post is so long, but I have long come to the conclusion that while my brain thinks it should "solve" all the anxiety in my head, my common sense is telling me that I can't, as my fears are irrational, therefore I need to learn to "solve" my process of thought, rather than the content of my thought. As I am a person who had a completely normal childhood and ongoing adulthood, there's very little for me to talk about to a psychologist/psychotherapist. Which leads me to conclude that I'm better to focus on CBT and control techniques for anxiety.And in fact, I find that I AM better with that. It's hard, and every day is a learning experience, but I find that letting go is substantially easier than fighting all the time.And seems to work better. But I always find it strange that this bad habit of obsessive thinking that I seem to have learned in minutes can be so hard to shake, whereas good habits like just enjoying life and living in the moment, can be so hard to gain.

Sorry again for the length and I hope some of this helps people.

There's nothing worse. Obsessive rumination is awful, and very hard to control.

I'm facing into a new job this weeks after several months of unemployment. Since I've been battling panic attacks, the house is like a safe zone for me. I'm so, so worried about how I'm going to cope with the "outside" world. My world, in recent months, has reduced to me, my home, and the odd few trips I take every now and then, and my OH. I've been ok all afternoon, but the last hour, my stomach has swooped down and my heart is thumping. I don't start til mid-week, but I'm exhausted worrying about how I'll manage, will the panic attacks happen, what if this new job doesn't help stop the attacks (taking my mind outside itself), what if I'm completely exhausted by worrying that I can't handle this...what if, what if, what if.....

Worse the first few days are in another part of the country, which is terrifying me too.Away from my comfort zone of my home, and my OH, who is the solid rock in my life, in a whole new territory, new people, new job...I'm nearly sick worrying about it here. I don't like a night away from my OH at the best of times, and when I'm like this, I just want to cry at the thought.

I hope you feel better alias, but if not, please try and take comfort from the fact that you're not alone in your obsessive thoughts, there are others around here who are willing to listen and understand how it feels.