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    #32
    lilyrose
    Registered Users Posts: 74 ✭✭lilyrose


    fair play to you Tempelton - you sound very brave to have gone so far on your own well done ( i have to admit im slightly jealous) please keep us posted on your advancements and good luck:)


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    #33
    Tempelton
    Registered Users Posts: 24 ✭Tempelton


    Hi Lilyrose!

    Thanks for the encouragement - but you know, deep down, I know that the truth behind a large part of why I have done this search myself is that I am just an angry SOB and so I got pissed at being told I was "not priority" by the AB.

    Still, I guess that, like John Lydon says, anger is an energy!

    :)

    I'll keep you posted...

    P


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    #34
    holly_johnson
    Registered Users Posts: 2,131 ✭✭✭holly_johnson


    Well done on persisting and getting the answers you deserve. It took a lot of work, but it's worth it to know you have done all you can. I hope the Adoption Board act in a reasonable amount of time and that you get a reply one way or the other. For me, the not knowing was the hardest part.


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    #35
    angelbabyk
    Closed Accounts Posts: 12 ✭angelbabyk


    holly_johnson wrote: »
    Well done on persisting and getting the answers you deserve. It took a lot of work, but it's worth it to know you have done all you can. I hope the Adoption Board act in a reasonable amount of time and that you get a reply one way or the other. For me, the not knowing was the hardest part.

    Hello there, Im also adopted and i got on to the HSE and they put me in touch with someone in my area that worked for them, She was able to provide me with general backround information, she was able to put my name down for an active trace. I was told that i would need to wait about two years for the active trace to go ahead as there is a long waiting list but she was very helpful and said that when it comes around to my turn and if i have changed my mind there is no prob.. The information she was able to provide for me was quite a bit more detailed then what my adoptive parents were issued with when they adopted me. I was also given some photo's that were left in the file for me.. Mind you they were photos of me when i was born.. But it was nice to get just a little more info.. If anyone would like contact details for around the country for HSE office's that deal specifically with Adoption i will post them....


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    #36
    The_Conductor
    Moderators, Society & Culture Moderators Posts: 32,278 Mod ✭✭✭✭The_Conductor


    angelbabyk wrote: »
    If anyone would like contact details for around the country for HSE office's that deal specifically with Adoption i will post them....

    Please do post them to the Useful Links section of this forum- they will be very helpful for others.

    Best wishes,

    Shane


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    #37
    angelbabyk
    Closed Accounts Posts: 12 ✭angelbabyk


    smccarrick wrote: »
    Please do post them to the Useful Links section of this forum- they will be very helpful for others.

    Best wishes,

    Shane
    No problem. I am at work at the moment so i will post them tomorrow..


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    #38
    kathy finn
    Registered Users Posts: 324 ✭✭kathy finn


    hi all, im a 38 year old adoptee, i was born in cork and adopted to dublin.i have traced both my natural parents, i never got to meet my natural mother as she had passed on, but have met my birthfather, halfbrother, aunts, uncles and cousins so far things have been great.
    still taking it one day at a time. kathy


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    #39
    celtic ghost
    Closed Accounts Posts: 6 ✭celtic ghost


    Hi, i am 39 and have always known that i was adopted.When i was in my twentys and expecting my first child it suddenly freaked me out that i had no medical history, something other people take for granted.I went to my local healthboard and asked about my file. The person told me it would be impossible to trace my birthmother because she had a common surname in my area.The way she held the file i thought there was loads in it,A while back i contacted the HSE. The lady who is looking after my case showed me everything that was in my file, not much i might add.But i had my bmothers name she was now a real person.I had a name before i was adopted, i was 6 weeks old.
    To finish my story so far, yes she had a common surname but a rare enough first name.The lady at the HSE thinks she may have found her, the problem is she had died a couple of years ago, im waiting to hear more.
    To the younger people thinking of tracing their b parents, do it now dont wait to be contacted or like me it could be too late.!


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    #40
    kathy finn
    Registered Users Posts: 324 ✭✭kathy finn


    hi celtic ghost,
    i think it,s becoming easier now for adoptees to find out about their birthparents, when i approched the agency i was adopted through 20 years ago i was told to go home and forget all about looking for my mother. my mother also had a very common name along with that she had been raised in an orphange so had no family home as such, but i refused to give up and am now in contact with my birthfather, halfbrother, aunts,uncles and cousins. i will always regret not meeting my birthmother before she died, but i have heard so many stories from the people who knew her the most that i feel i know her a little bit.


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    #41
    always&forever
    Closed Accounts Posts: 15 ✭always&forever


    Hi im new to this but i suppose i'll just start.

    Im 17 and i was adopted at the age of 2months! I found out i was adopted at the young age of 8 years old. I had to bring my birth certificate into school in order to make my first holy communion. We were all sitting at our desks with our certs and one by one we went up to our teacher with them. I remember sitting there and started to read mine. I saw the word "ADOPTED" and froze. I went up to my teacher and asked her what exactly that meant. she didnt know what to say. she brought me to the principles office, who contacted my adoptive parents and they picked me up and took me home and explained everything to me.

    Ok so im only 17, i dont have tragic birth parent finding stories that all you have. but in 4 weeks and 6 days im 18! and i dont know how to do this or where to go? i live in dublin. can someone tell me where to start and where to go from there? My adoptive parents dont like to talk about it and i dont want to ask them in case i hurt them. because they are great parents. but i just know i need to do this.

    I've always felt, different. Like a part of me was missing. I think this is what i need to do.


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    #42
    holly_johnson
    Registered Users Posts: 2,131 ✭✭✭holly_johnson


    always&forever wrote: »
    Hi im new to this but i suppose i'll just start.

    Im 17 and i was adopted at the age of 2months! I found out i was adopted at the young age of 8 years old. I had to bring my birth certificate into school in order to make my first holy communion. We were all sitting at our desks with our certs and one by one we went up to our teacher with them. I remember sitting there and started to read mine. I saw the word "ADOPTED" and froze. I went up to my teacher and asked her what exactly that meant. she didnt know what to say. she brought me to the principles office, who contacted my adoptive parents and they picked me up and took me home and explained everything to me.

    Ok so im only 17, i dont have tragic birth parent finding stories that all you have. but in 4 weeks and 6 days im 18! and i dont know how to do this or where to go? i live in dublin. can someone tell me where to start and where to go from there? My adoptive parents dont like to talk about it and i dont want to ask them in case i hurt them. because they are great parents. but i just know i need to do this.

    I've always felt, different. Like a part of me was missing. I think this is what i need to do.


    It's sad that you had to find out that way, but these things happen. As you said, you have great parents and that's something to be thankful for.
    What I did was I found out what orphanage (or adoption agency) I went through. Either your parents or the adoption board should be able to tell you this. Then I made an appointment to see the social worker associated with the orphanage I came from (in my case St. Brigids formerly Eccles St now the Coombe). She talked to me about all the possibilities and finally started communication with my birth mother through letter. The rest, as they say, is history.

    I wish you the best of luck, just make sure you are prepared in your own head for all outcomes. Not every one is successful, but I sincerely hope yours is.


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    #43
    kathy finn
    Registered Users Posts: 324 ✭✭kathy finn


    like you i always felt different from my adopted family, but i really feel you need there support in this it,s not something you can do on your own.
    talk to someone you trust about how your feeling and don,t try to go it alone. you should then contact the adoption board and they will be able to tell you which adoption agency placed you for adoption, this adoption agency will hold all files on your adoption. you should also get your name on the adoption contact register you can download a form from the adoption board website. good luck and try not to have any expection of what you,ll find it usually does,nt work out as planned.:D


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    #44
    Baby4
    Closed Accounts Posts: 1,407 ✭✭✭Baby4


    This post has been deleted.


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    #45
    holly_johnson
    Registered Users Posts: 2,131 ✭✭✭holly_johnson


    Hi,

    Thanks for sharing your story. I think it helps to share, even if the outcome wasn't what you or someone else would expect. I had a similar experience, but I would do it again if I had to. I too, have a wonderful family and it made me realise all the more how great they are.


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    #46
    Baby4
    Closed Accounts Posts: 1,407 ✭✭✭Baby4


    This post has been deleted.


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    #47
    dbrady01
    Closed Accounts Posts: 84 ✭✭dbrady01


    hi

    im 27. I went to madonna house ( i think ) a few days after birth for a while ( dont know how long ) then fostered for a year to a couple who had my older sibiling again i dont know male or female. Then adopted by blood relatives on my fathers side when they found out i was alive. I have no intrest at this time meeting the person who gave birth to me or anyone else she might have givin birth to ( dont know her but dont like her very much )



    p.s Is ther any way to get my records from madonna house, time spent there who fostered me ect


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    #48
    Pat McGhee
    Registered Users Posts: 345 ✭✭Pat McGhee


    Hey all!

    I'm 31, adopted since birth, (10 days old) & have known always that I'm adopted. My name is on all the registers & such but no contact yet.

    I do know a bit about my bio parents though; bio-mum is called Isobel, was 20 when she had me. Bio-dad was called Eugene but to the best of my knowledge he is no longer alive as before I was born, he was diagnosed with a terminal illness. He was married but separated at the time when he & Isobel hooked up. Her family disowned her for getting pregnant a) out of wedlock & b) by a married man, thus leaving her with no support & given the bleak outlook for him, 1976 Ireland left them with no alternative but to give me up.

    I bear her no ill will for doing what she had to do & if we never meet, then that's ok but it would be nice just to say 'hi, you did good, I'm ok.'

    Such is my story so far. Watch this space for further updates, if any. :D


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    #49
    Maryan
    Closed Accounts Posts: 18 ✭Maryan


    Pat, that's so nice that you would tell your birth mother that she did the right thing. It would surely be a huge relief to her, as she obviously didn't have another chance.

    I had to tell my mother that almost nothing worked out well. But who knows, if it had been better, if she had kept me with her?


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    #50
    redcar
    Closed Accounts Posts: 154 ✭✭redcar


    Hi all,

    Been on boards for a bit but only saw this forum a few days ago and thought I must post. Well I am 20 and was given up for adoption a few weeks after birth.

    I was given up because my biological father decided I wasn't his and my mother was just not able to keep me so she decided adoption was the only way as she was unable to support me, although it turned out when I was 4 my father decided I was his and proceeded with court proceedings to stop my adoption being finalised, while at the same time my dad (when I say that I mean my real dad, not my biological father) was dying of cancer.

    There was complications with my adoptiong, it was one of the first cases where a child was given up for adoption while the parents were still married, my dad was dying at the same time, but even with all this it is not something that has effected me at all.

    It is like a painting on the wall, it is just there, doing nothing, not bothering me, but just there. But I have started to feel like I would like to hear something from someone. I found out I have a brother and half brother. I don't know its hard to explain, I have no interest in forming any sort of relationship with any of these people but it would be nice to know that you were not just forgotton about. Suddenly became a nobody.

    Sorry for that kind of ramble, it prob makes no sense... it has been a long day. So yea hi!:)


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    #51
    Tempelton
    Registered Users Posts: 24 ✭Tempelton


    redcar wrote: »
    Hi all,

    Been on boards for a bit but only saw this forum a few days ago and thought I must post. Well I am 20 and was given up for adoption a few weeks after birth.

    I was given up because my biological father decided I wasn't his and my mother was just not able to keep me so she decided adoption was the only way as she was unable to support me, although it turned out when I was 4 my father decided I was his and proceeded with court proceedings to stop my adoption being finalised, while at the same time my dad (when I say that I mean my real dad, not my biological father) was dying of cancer.

    There was complications with my adoptiong, it was one of the first cases where a child was given up for adoption while the parents were still married, my dad was dying at the same time, but even with all this it is not something that has effected me at all.

    It is like a painting on the wall, it is just there, doing nothing, not bothering me, but just there. But I have started to feel like I would like to hear something from someone. I found out I have a brother and half brother. I don't know its hard to explain, I have no interest in forming any sort of relationship with any of these people but it would be nice to know that you were not just forgotton about. Suddenly became a nobody.

    Sorry for that kind of ramble, it prob makes no sense... it has been a long day. So yea hi!:)

    Hi there. Interesting story you have there. Not too dissimilar to my own. I am 31 now. I have literally just made contact with my birth mother about 6 weeks ago. We have met four times now and things are going well.

    My purpose for mentioning this though is simple - regardless of your story or circumstances, perhaps your experience will indeed mirror my own (and that of a lot of other adopted people I have talked to), in that - you may not feel like it is important or that it even matters at all to you for years and years. Then one day, that begins to change. You begin to ask more questions. You begin to search for whoever it is that you ask the questions about. And, in my experience, one you start the search, you don't stop until you find what (or who) it is you are looking for.

    When I was 20 I never thought even 1% about these issues. I mean literally just that. It never crossed my mind. I just didn't care. It wasn't until I was in my late 20's and married that I even started to take the issue of my being adopted seriously. Don't sweat it. Don't worry about it. Don't even waste your time imagining that, even if you wanted to, you could possibly control the flow of thoughts that may one day form about your past. If it happens, it will happen naturally and it will most likely come from a place in you that you never even knew existed. I really NEVER thought that **** could happen to me - but it did. And it feels good.

    Take your time. If and when you feel like searching for more, then good luck.

    Cheers,

    Tempelton


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    #52
    Pixie83
    Closed Accounts Posts: 3 ✭Pixie83


    I am 25 and I was adpoted when I was about 2 weeks old. I have always been aware that I am adopted. It was always spoken about in our house as my sister is also adopted. Our parents were very loving and supportive in every decision we made in relation to contacting our birth parents.

    I was very lucky when I contacted my Birth Mother. She is so happy that I wanted to meet her. We met about 5 years ago and we are in regular contact ever since. I have two brothers and even with the age gap (they are 12 and 15) we get on very well. All of her family (and her husbands family) have made me very welcome.

    Overall I am very happy with the end result and any questions I had have now been answered. I have decided not to look for my birth fater just yet as I am still getting used to having another family for now!!


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    #53
    emma11811
    Registered Users Posts: 21 ✭emma11811


    smccarrick wrote: »
    I'll start the ball rolling.....

    I'm adopted and 32 years of age. I grew up in a large family, who mean the world to me. I sought my birthmum a few years ago and after a long and difficult search finally found her. I have several siblings who I have never met, but would love to.
    hi I too was adopted but when I contacted the health borad I was told my mother had died but she had three other children she gave up for adoption I have there dates of birth and the names she gave them so where do I go from here


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    #54
    martinf
    Closed Accounts Posts: 61 ✭✭martinf


    emma11811 wrote: »
    hi I too was adopted but when I contacted the health borad I was told my mother had died but she had three other children she gave up for adoption I have there dates of birth and the names she gave them so where do I go from here

    Hi Emma,

    Probably the best thing you can do is contact the health board and say that you want to conduct a trace for your siblings, assuming that you do. They should be able to point you in the right direction as regards what agencies may have dealt with your siblingsAs your birthmother is dead this should actually reduce one layer of complexity as they won't need to inform her that you are trying to trace your siblings. If you were interested you cpuld also get copies of their original birth records given that you have their original name, date of birth and presumably mothers surname. Even if you don't have the surname you can cross reference the three records to point you to the right ones. The birth records can be researched at the General Registry Office in the Irish Life Mall (I don't believe they're back in their usual home of Joyce house yet).

    It's a very exciting thought for most people to search for a sibling especially as it doesn't seem to carry the same "baggage" as searching for birthparents. I have met three of my seven siblings so far and it has been great. best of luck with your search.

    Best wishes

    Martin


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    #55
    carbsy
    Registered Users Posts: 2,082 ✭✭✭carbsy


    Hi all, I've been on this forum for 7 years and didn't notice this section until now! I'm 34 and was adopted when I was a few weeks old.I had a very good and lucky upbringing with extremely loving parents.I rarely if ever think about my birth parents as I'm happy the way things are.My sister is also adopted, she searched for her mother and found her but it didn't work out.


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    #56
    bmw316
    Closed Accounts Posts: 33 ✭bmw316


    hi all well i am 37 and got a phone call one night from a girl who said she was my older sister well i laughed it off as a prank but turns out she really is my sister this has torn my family apart were all fighting now i met this girl and we bonded straight off but my family want nothing to do with her ashamed of them really but now my own wife and kids have started to suffer because of all this.

    just wanted to say i love my older sister and heres my support as i know your here sis, chin up we meet again soon. j.


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    #57
    shezzie
    Registered Users Posts: 1,626 ✭✭✭shezzie


    hey i am 32 to and started my search last may got my non identifableinfo then and not much since...i was given up straight from birth and was very lucky to get the family i have...one hopefully ill meet the birth parents and siblings...


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    #58
    sanj2408
    Registered Users Posts: 49 ✭sanj2408


    Hi all, Im 24, adopted since birth, I know my birth mother all my life found out who she is about 5 years ago, have no interest in meeting my biological dad.
    I have a wonderful family and often forget that I was adopted!
    I recently had a baby and my birth mother has been causing me hassle ever since she found out I was pregnant. She never had counselling after the adoption and I really think she needs it. it has got to the stage where i don't want to see her at all and will avoid her whenever possible.
    Ive never really spoken to anyone about it and really wish id discovered this forum earlier.
    Has anyone had a similar experience to me?


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    #59
    shezzie
    Registered Users Posts: 1,626 ✭✭✭shezzie


    hi sanj.. i am adopted dont really want to know birth father as he was married with three children and didnt want to know bout me or my birth mother till she gave me up... havent met birth mother in the process of tracing, taking a long time.. i can only suggest you sit the lady down and set about some bounderies of if and when you meet and maybe suggest she talk to someone properly about giving you up..it must have been very traumatic for her..some people gave babies away like tshirts yours cared....at least that is something..i have a friend who few years ago ago found out she had three other siblings same birth mother and father all four children given away without thought..

    it may be hard to have this chat but everyone will know where they are...no awkwardness from now on..just say what you have to say nicely

    best of luck


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    #60
    sanj2408
    Registered Users Posts: 49 ✭sanj2408


    Hi Shezzie thanks for that from what I can gather my birth-dad was also married with children.
    The problem is that my birth mum is actually a family member so we do see each other quite regularly in the norm.
    I probably should speak to her but she makes me feel so awkward, she cries and says some very inappropriate things and I always just get this urge to run away when I do see her.
    Im very lucky in that I never had to do the whole searching thing and I really admire anyone that does it, it must be hard.
    Best of luck!


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    #61
    dublinreject
    Closed Accounts Posts: 18 ✭dublinreject


    hey - do people post on here regularly?

    I was born in Rountunda hospital Dublin in 1979... i had a few details about the bio mum etc but only started searching properly a few years back - one day when i was frustrated with the 'system' once again denying me access to gardai files etc - i googled her name and voila there she was in all her 'glory' ... splashed across a fair few newspapers and selling her story (it was pretty tragic to be honest) to anyone that'd listen... long story short - i contacted her, she told me she didnt want to meet me 'at this time' and basically to get lost - infact her words were 'i knew you'd show up someday, i was just going to tell you i was dead and shut the door' ... nice that isnt it? Anyways that was in 2006 and she still refuses to give me any details about my Bio Dad... think i should push it?


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