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20-10-2019, 23:40   #376
emo72
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Mad rant here lads. It's since the collapse this thread started. All things been equal everyone will start out on their own. Kids are being forced to live with parents because it's absolutely impossible to strike out on their own. I'm a parent who has kids stuck at home. We know who's to blame for this, exercise your vote or shut the **** up. I had the opportunity to get my own house and life. My kids with a much better education than I had will struggle. This thread isn't a discussion. It's bull****.
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20-10-2019, 23:42   #377
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No just since the 80's, the cost of living has risen in the last 5, 10 and 15 years.

Youre talking about an entirely different situation, a minority of people on a good wage who live at home and spend spend spend. Tbh I dont know anyone who lives like that while trying to get a mortgage. Im sure they exist but I haven't met any.

As for spending more money, again how do you know that? People in the 80's, 90's and 2000's liked to spend money too, the difference is the cost of things is now higher than it was 10, 20, 30 years ago.

Like my parents had two cars a mortgage on a town house, two kids, my mother smoked constantly as did my father who was a drinker and gambler, my mother spent money on clothes and getting her hair done. My father was a factory worker, my mother worked part time in a shop.

Im a substitute teacher, my hours change weekly, I can work anything from 2 - 6 hours, occasionally ill get a full week of work, I still earn more than my parents did. I cant afford a car, I cant afford to pay rent,
During the week my money goes on groceries, money given to my parents, driving lessons, a small portion goes into savings, the rest will go on one day of socializing.

Monthly I pay for my own internet (which I need for work), netflix and gym - all in all this costs about 52 euro a month.
I get my hair cut every two months costing me 35 euro.

Even if I cut out the little luxuries of gym, netflix and a night with friends, I still couldnt afford to pay rent.

Who is paying 150 for a hairstyle? Sorry but even when I was earning allot more and decided to treat myself to a good hair colour with balyage and highlights, cut and treatment it cost me like 120 and that was an expensive place and wouldnt be a regular thing, it was a once off.

It really sounds like youre putting everyone who lives at home in the same box and assuming that the majority of those who do live at home are living as dependents which is not the case. Id be mortified if my mother was washing my clothes and cooking my dinners.
The very odd time she will cook a dinner and put a bit on for me but equally I have done the same for my parents and regularly cook meals for the family as im sure most adults living at home do.
TBH id much rather house share with my family than with strangers who live in their rooms.
Me? Don't know how you'd deduce that from just one post. I don't see anything wrong at all with adults living in their parents' house once they contribute to the running of the household, financially and otherwise. I think it makes sense a lot of the time.

I just see Lainey's point about people saying they're broke and can't save from spending money on a lot of non essential things, on a regular basis. Your experience regarding an expensive hair do doesn't demonstrate anything in relation to other people.
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20-10-2019, 23:44   #378
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Mad rant here lads. It's since the collapse this thread started. All things been equal everyone will start out on their own. Kids are being forced to live with parents because it's absolutely impossible to strike out on their own. I'm a parent who has kids stuck at home. We know who's to blame for this, exercise your vote or shut the **** up. I had the opportunity to get my own house and life. My kids with a much better education than I had will struggle. This thread isn't a discussion. It's bull****.
Huh? All I see is "shut up" - you don't get to tell people to shut up. Yes it is a discussion. And people did exercise their vote - what has that achieved? Bizarre.
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20-10-2019, 23:46   #379
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But do you think it's ok for people to house share into their 30's? I agree people in their early 20's at least should be house sharing, if not just for the experience, but to give an initial overview of how your money just disappears. But into their 30's, would it not be ok for people in their 30's to want a place of their own? Most who do are in relationships, with kids, mortgage, etc, but what about the single people? Should they continue to house share just because they're single? Are they not entitled to their own place at some stage? I think so.

Then, using the recent Minimum Essential Standards of Living guide, without including rent or childcare is €290.89 (single adult living alone, 2A*). The national average for rent is now €1,391 p/m, or €347 p/w. Add the two for the MESL and rent, it's €638.64 net, which requires a wage of €43k gross. Suddenly, those on less than that wage (on average) are having a reduced quality of life, or essentially not meeting MESL due to rent being so high, so a lower quality of life than what is minimally expected. All using Deloitte budget calculator with no additional changes and rural living, urban has a lower MESL limit, but rent would be far higher.

And yes, I know that rent average is not what single people would most likely be paying, but that's the average of what a single person would likely be facing to have a place of their own, in their 30's. I'm 13k below that figure... Even if we dropped the rent down to 150 p/w, the total for rent and MESL is €440.89, and requires a gross of €26000 a year. Doesn't leave much wiggle room, in case of an emergency, or a major repair for a car. Saving €11 a week won't get you very far. Transpost costs for a single adult living rural is €56 a week, that's just my diesel, let alone anything else the car needs. And €8.66pw on 'personal costs', whatever that is.

Anyway, point is, even on moderate wages, it would be a struggle for a single person in their 30s to live alone, and living with the parents would make far more sense and allow time to save. But I do agree that those who live at home and play the poor mouth while splashing the income on unnecessary items are not to be included in this discussion, as they are literally adult children.
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20-10-2019, 23:49   #380
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Of course those in their 30s want their own place. Sucks having to house share by that stage.
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21-10-2019, 00:02   #381
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Of course those in their 30s want their own place. Sucks having to house share by that stage.
Think of all the wonderful characters you can meet.
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21-10-2019, 01:10   #382
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Think of all the wonderful characters you can meet.
I can only think of the stress of living with other people!
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21-10-2019, 01:29   #383
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Huh? All I see is "shut up" - you don't get to tell people to shut up. Yes it is a discussion. And people did exercise their vote - what has that achieved? Bizarre.
I didn't create the situation. Just living with the result of it. The kids did nothing wrong either. I don't know what your problem is either. Are you happy the way things are? I'm not telling anyone to shut up. Just stating the problem.
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21-10-2019, 09:10   #384
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You're saying it's hard to save for a deposit if you're paying out lots of rent. Yes, it is. That doesn't mean that anyone is 'forced' to live at home. Buying a house in Ireland is a choice.
Of course, but it's a choice that takes a lot of forward planning and most of all saving, which is extremely difficult to do when one is pissing all those savings up the wall on extortionate rent.

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I don't own my own home and probably won't anytime in the next decade, especially if I stay here. Someone who is playing the poor me card because they think they're entitled to live at home for free for years on end so they can save for a deposit isn't getting much sympathy from me, sorry. It's a lifestyle choice.
It's a "choice" that's generally forced upon someone these days, because the basic cost of living is so high. Years ago, you could move out and save for a mortgage, but this is becoming much harder to do and in many cases, exceedingly difficult, thus necessitating the need to retreat to the family home or just wait until later to make the move.

There are few adults that still want to be in their parents house out of a fully agreeable choice they've made. That choice is usually one that's taken because the alternative isn't the best option.

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But it isn't. Almost everyone I know has been living out of home since they left college, with little or no financial help and those who stayed at home longer did so knowing they would benefit financially, not because they felt forced to.
Of course. But that's still something that's forced upon them, in relative terms,, due to the costs of living being so artificially high. Simply put, it makes far more sense to stay in the family home and save the money you'd be wasting on rent and put it towards a deposit on a flat or house. Otherwise, it only ends up taking much, much longer to do that saving, because renting in this country is little more than a farce.

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What about being a functioning independent adult?
Adults function differently and have to take societal restrictions into account. There is no one size fits all approach here. When I was younger, it was very possible to move out, like I did in my 20's, rent a place and save some money towards a home one day. Because renting in Ireland is not something that you can do long term, with any kind of comfort. Our renting situation is a joke, unlike certain countries on the continent.

Over the years, this has become extremely difficult to achieve because the costs of everything have gone through the roof, with house costs and rents being the most egregious examples and if that wasn't the case, you see far less adults living at home with their OAP parents.

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Sure, but times have changed and people need to adapt. Staying at home with the folks for a long time is one option but it is by no means the only option and there are plenty of us for whom it was never an option.
Some people can't just readily "adapt", due to the ridiculous costs of everything these days, that's the problem. Their finances don't allow that adaptation and therefore they find themselves in a situation that essentially forces their hand, and it's one which I'd bet they find to be the lesser of to evils.

Are their some who are out there just riding a wave? Sure there are. But I wouldn't make the mistake of assigning that attitude to the vast majority of people.

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As I said, in most cases (not accounting for edge cases such as moving back in temporarily when falling on hard times, or moving back in to care for ailing parents or the like), it is a choice.
Everything is a choice. But that doesn't mean that those choices are taken lightly or that there is actually a good option either. In many cases people are taking the least worst option.

As for "edge cases", they are becoming more and more common, again due to the high costs of living in this country <- which is the real problem here.

In fact, I know more people who have had to move back home because a piece of their "life puzzle" went awry, than people who've never moved out in the first place. We live in a country where one thing, such as a breakup, business difficulties, or losing a job, can dump you back to square one.

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I'm well aware of the challenges faced by this generation. I'm also well aware of how many people I know play the poor mouth while going out every single weekend, taxis home, new clothes from Topshop, Starbucks coffees every day. There's a girl in my office pushing 30 who must spend at least 500-600 euro a month on this stuff and claims she 'can't afford' to rent on her wages. Of course she can afford to. She just doesn't want to.
Sure. She's developing her own narrative to suit herself. But, I wouldn't damn the many because of the sins of the few.
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31-10-2019, 12:26   #385
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Originally Posted by lainey_d_123 View Post
You're saying it's hard to save for a deposit if you're paying out lots of rent. Yes, it is. That doesn't mean that anyone is 'forced' to live at home. Buying a house in Ireland is a choice. I don't own my own home and probably won't anytime in the next decade, especially if I stay here. Someone who is playing the poor me card because they think they're entitled to live at home for free for years on end so they can save for a deposit isn't getting much sympathy from me, sorry. It's a lifestyle choice.



As I said, in most cases (not accounting for edge cases such as moving back in temporarily when falling on hard times, or moving back in to care for ailing parents or the like), it is a choice.

Just because someone is living at home to save for a house doesn't mean they are playing the "poor me" card. Plenty of people are just doing it in order to be able to save and buy their own home quicker. OH and I will be paying reduced rent to my parents. We will pay them 800 per month. Separately, I and my sibling pay their mortgage as we have done for years. Leaves OH and I in a position to save 1800 per month for the next year and a half. Nobody doing the poor mouth here - If anything I'm feckin delighted I have this 18 month window to get ahead and get ourselves out of an unsteady rental market where we might be tossed out in a year with a young child because the landlord "needs to do renovations".

I fully agree with you that living at home is a choice. For me, it is a choice I made with my longer term home-ownership goals in mind, and a sensible one. If other people want to cripple themselves paying private rent on principle and moan about people like me who "are not functioning" then I suppose that is really their business, and none of my concern. I've lived independently, studied, worked (often at the same time) and supported my parents for years. I have no doubts as to my ability to function as an adult. Staying at home doesn't make you a child, any more than moving away makes you an adult.
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31-10-2019, 14:24   #386
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OH and I will be paying reduced rent to my parents. We will pay them 800 per month.
I'm paying that per month for a 5 bedroom in County Galway. Are you in Dublin?

Dublin is bonkers
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31-10-2019, 14:29   #387
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I'm paying that per month for a 5 bedroom in County Galway. Are you in Dublin?

Dublin is bonkers
How did you guess Yes we are. Planning to buy in Kildare though - you can get a really nice 3 or 4 bed for 300k. There's no way I am shackling myself to a mortgage for half a million euro for the next thirty odd years so I can have the privilege of living in a 3 bed semi somewhere in Dublin. To hell with that
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31-10-2019, 14:44   #388
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each to their own, i love my parents, get on great with them, but couldnt spend any more than a couple of nights with them.

I went away to school at 13 and was only home at weekends, went away to university and was home less and then started working post university away from home and rented my own place.

I was fortunate in the my folks covered my rent while in university but once i left university i paid my own way.

with my own kids now i would love for them to go away to university and have that experience of freedom and growing up, its a little less likely as we live in Dublin now but id support them going elsewhere for university.
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31-10-2019, 15:01   #389
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went away to university and was home less and then started working post university away from home and rented my own place.
I think this is a big thing - a lot of people from the country go to College in Dublin and live away from home whereas most Dublin students will continue to live at home during University.

It becomes a comfortable existence for them and there's no real push for them to get out and stand on their own feet.

I'm sure they have all the excuses and justifications made to themselves, but it's funny how so many people from outside of Dublin are able to manage paying rent while saving a deposit.

As a parent myself, I'd certainly be encouraging my own children to fly the coop when the time comes, it's an important part of developing and maturing as a person in my view.
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31-10-2019, 15:20   #390
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I think this is a big thing - a lot of people from the country go to College in Dublin and live away from home whereas most Dublin students will continue to live at home during University.

It becomes a comfortable existence for them and there's no real push for them to get out and stand on their own feet.

I'm sure they have all the excuses and justifications made to themselves, but it's funny how so many people from outside of Dublin are able to manage paying rent while saving a deposit.

As a parent myself, I'd certainly be encouraging my own children to fly the coop when the time comes, it's an important part of developing and maturing as a person in my view.
Perhaps because it's cheaper to rent and buy a house outside Dublin?
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