Which Car

A chap wins €1,000,000 on a scratchcard.


Excitedly, he phones his friends and says

"Meet me in the pub in an hour - I'm getting a Ferrari!"

He rushes off to the Ferrari dealer, and the salesman says

"Have you had a Ferrari before, Sir?"

"No," says the man. "I've never had any car before. Is that a problem?"

"Well, it is a very powerful car, and it would be irresponsible of me to sell you such a beast given your low level of experience.

Might I suggest a Ford?"



So, dejectedly, the man wanders off down the hill to the Ford dealership.

On the way, he calls his friends and says "OK, I might be a bit longer than an hour.

I'm not getting a Ferrari, but I am getting a big truck which we can all fit in."

"Have you owned a pickup before?" says the Ford salesman.

"No, I haven't had a car before." the man replies

"Well the F150 is a very large vehicle, and for somebody with no experience of such a truck, it might be a bit too much.

Can I suggest a Fiat?"



So off he goes again to the Fiat dealership, phoning his mate on the way.

"OK, not a big truck, but I am going to get a really fun little car that we can have a laugh in.

Just give me another hour" Needless to say, his mates are becoming a little irritated by now.

"Have you owned a Fiat before?" the salesman asks him.

"No. I have never owned a car. That's problem, isn't it."

"I'm afraid so, Sir. Fiats are delicate instrument,s and they need the care of an experienced owner.

It wouldn't be a good idea for you to have such a fine thoroughbred as your first car.

Might I suggest you try the place next door?"



So he phones his friends once again. "OK, that was a bad idea.

But give me another hour, and then I'll be there with a surprise!"

His friends are angry now at being messed about all day.


The place next door to the Fiat dealership is a toy shop.

In he goes. "I've been told I don't have enough experience to buy a car, and was told to come in here. What have you got?"

"Well, Sir," the salesman says, "we do have a lovely range of bicycles."

"I've never had a bike before. I don't even know how to ride one."

"Well, it's all about balance. If you need to get to grips with balance and fine control, might I suggest a hoop and stick?

It'll give you an excellent grounding in the basics."

So the man buys a green hoop and a blue stick for £10, and off he goes to the pub.


At first, the hoop keeps getting away from him, and falling over at the kerb,

but after half an hour, he begins to get the hang of it, and he can keep it going at a pretty good pace, and in the right direction.

"This won't be so bad," he says to himself, "We can have a laugh playing with my hoop and stick, and we can have races and stuff - it'll be fun!"

Eventually, he gets to the pub, and calls his friends to come outside to see his new acquisition.

They go bonkers. "You've kept us waiting here all bloody day and that's what you come up with?" they shout.

"Let's get him!"

As they approach him, he decides to run away, so he pushes his little green hoop with his blue stick, and hares off down the road with his mates in pursuit.

He pushes his hoop and stick down the road, and past the toy shop.

He pushes his hoop and stick past the Fiat dealership and along the road.

He pushes his hoop and stick past the Ford dealership and up the hill.

He pushes his hoop and stick past the Ferrari dealership, and eventually, his friends catch him.

They beat him up and then they snap his little blue stick.

They break his green hoop into twenty pieces and scatter them on the ground.

The man begins to cry.

As he wails and sobs, they realise they may have overreacted, so they try to console him "Sorry, mate.

We had no idea the hoop and stick meant so much to you. We were a bit cross, and we went over the top."

"It's not that." the man sobs, "It was only a tenner.

I can buy hundreds more."

"Why are you crying then?"

"Well now my hoop and stick is broken, how am I going to get home?"