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Tried to reconnect with old friend - ignored

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  • 15-06-2019 12:54pm
    #1
    LegacyUser
    Registered Users Posts: 166,026 ✭✭✭✭


    Last year when in college there was an issue between two friends of mine which I got dragged into because I was leaving with one of them. The first girl used to be my best friend and we were extremely close. At the start of final year the second girl doing our course got assigned to live with me so we became very close so she then started hanging out with the two of us.

    At the end of final year, my best friend told me she just didn't like/get on with my housemate and she annoyed her. I told her that I got on well with my housemate as we were so close due to being living together. Then I went home from the summer. I stayed in contact with my housemate but my best friend and I met up once and after that it was a few texts here and there. Before the end of college she told me that she felt we weren't as close any more and that my housemate had ruined everything due to so much tension

    Graduation day was very awkward as me and my former best friend briefly interacted. My housemate and I were standing together and while the best friend said hello to me and chatted for a couple of seconds, she completely ignored my housemate, which hurt her.

    A few weeks after the graduation in November I text the best friend to see how she was. She replied back after a bit and asked me how I was.i replied back how things were going for me but I heard nothing back.

    I'd been thinking about her a lot recently and a mutual friend recently told me that she had told him that we had never fallen out, just the situation with my housemate had made things awkward and tense. So a while ago I bit the bullet and decided to text after almost 7 months of no contact at all. I asked how she was and then suggested that maybe we could meet up in person for a chat as I'd been thinking about her. I told her not to worry if she was busy, just I figured I would text her anyways.

    I sent the text while the mutual friend was present. Our mutual friend said she sometime doesn't reply to his texts/snapchat. Half an hour after I sent the text, our mutual friend decided to snapchat her. She immediately replied to the first message but not his second which asked how she was.

    She never replied to the text I had sent.

    I'm just wondering how should I go from here? Do I take her non response as an indicator she doesnt want to salvage the friendship and move on? Our mutual friend was annoyed that she didn't reply as he said it would be the decent thing to do..

    Any advice would be appreciated. Thanks!


Comments

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    #2
    Ursus Horribilis
    Closed Accounts Posts: 6,168 ✭✭✭Ursus Horribilis


    Yeah, I'd take it that she doesn't want to rebuild any bridges. She knows where you stand but isn't keen to accept that olive branch.

    I hope you'll indulge me for a moment while I go into somewhat condescending adult mode here :). This is the sort of problem that could only be written by a teenager or person who's fresh out of college. This is when you're still at the stage of having best friends and people can get a bit territorial. This is a situation that could have been as easily caused by a new boyfriend rather than a new friend. Some day, even your friend will come to realise what a silly row this was. She hasn't reached that stage.

    Anyway, my only advice to you now is to let this lie. It's awkward because you share mutual friends but perhaps in time you might be able to rebuild something. It'll never be the same as it was though.


  • Options
    #3
    Paddy Cow
    Closed Accounts Posts: 6,576 ✭✭✭Paddy Cow


    She has moved on emotionally from you and while you are finding it difficult because you never had a real falling out and have no closure, you're going to have to accept it. There is nothing you can do to rekindle this friendship.


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    #4
    [Deleted User]
    Posts: 0 ✭ [Deleted User]


    worth pointing out youve done absolutely nothing wrong from that version of events OP, sounds like you handled it as well as possible


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