2 yr old parents told to bring him for thearpy due to behaviour

Make an appointment with the local PHN (describe the situation in advance to see if maybe they could invite a development doctor to that meeting). Ask the creche for a letter describing their observations - ideally it should contain positives and negatives and bring this letter to that appointment. PHN or the doctor (if present) will then decide what's the best course of action.

However, the waiting times for assessments are pretty lengthy and while you are doing all this, you can apply for Assessment of Need. On a paper, it says they must do smth after 3 months. In reality, again waiting times are lengthy, but here there will be options to complain which should speed up things.

Private therapies (occupational therapy) cost around 80-100eur per hour so if family can afford this, this could be an option too while waiting on HSE stuff.

Creche may also be able to get AIM support for him. Have a chat with them:
http://aim.gov.ie/sample-sub-page/

It may be all upsetting especially for his mother, but he is young and with the right help and approach it can all be fixed or improved. Some kids just need a bit of extra help.

P.S. - if it transpires that your grandson needs extra care e.g. therapies etc, your daughter should look into applying for:
http://www.citizensinformation.ie/en/social_welfare/social_welfare_payments/disability_and_illness/domiciliary_care_allowance.html

This is not means tested, and it's a monthly payment given to children that have needs higher than other children of the same age. This isn't based on diagnosis but extra needs. It's not easy to get it and takes 3 months to get the initial No or Yes (then review and appeal if necessary) but getting it would cover some of the private costs if you decide to take that root. There is a group on FB called DCA Warriors - she can always join the group if she needs more advice about this payment as well as various other info in general regarding therapies and approach with HSE, etc.

Good luck and try not to worry too much!

redcatstar wrote: »

My grandson is 26 months and at creche they have told his parents to bring him for thearpy due to biting, pushing ,throwing and the use of one bad word when angry. One to one he is great and a good boy but he does have lots of energy and can become angry over toys etc. Any advice, should creche not be the ones to refer him

Therapy can sound a bit overwhelming..

Are you sure it wasn't play therapy that was suggested?

Either way the child is two.. it could be an entirely normal stage in their development. Our eldest who is five now was a constant stream of bad reports from creche. Play therapy was suggested and we toyed with it. Didn't do anything in the end but moved him to a larger creche with more boys his age... he's developed perfectly well since.

Play therapy isn't necessarily anything to be too fearful of.

Without experience of the crèche in question it's hard to say how much they should be listened to.
Some crèche's will be better than others at genuinely identifying issues, and others still might choose to not have that hard conversation with a parent.

I know in the crèche that my kids went to they were very astute at identifying issues (as corroborated by professional service providers) and they were not "quick to assume the worst".
I put this down to many years seeing many kids go through the service and building a pretty accurate picture of "normal behaviors".

In some ways they *may* even be in a better position than some professionals as in the crèche they see the full gamut of kids as opposed only those that have been referred.

Having said that, I can imagine that some crèches are aren't as good as others so it's hard to advise.

Bottom line, don't be surprised if the crèche is right and treat this as a good thing. Ignoring issues wont help anyone.

tretorn wrote: »

Little boys a lot of time dont do well in creche. The staff prefer little biddable girls and not rowdy boys who need activity. The staff is also entirely female and many young creche staff just dont relate to boys well.

Your daughter might be better off finding a good childminder or if possible taking a few years off work to take care of her child herself.

And, no, it most certainly is not the creches role to take responsibility if there is a problem. It sounds like they are fed up with your grandsons behaviour, biting is actually very serious and other parents are probably complaining. I had my children in a creche when they were young and I would have hit the roof if my child was bitten, what are the creche doing to supervise your grandchild, surely he hasnt bitten more than once.

Be prepared for the creche having a conversation with you about finding alternative daycare for him, it would be good to have a back up plan in place.

you kind of swung wildly between appearing supportive of the young lad to the polar opposite in that post..

Biting happens at that age - it's not remotely unusual. Hitting the roof would be a ridiculous reaction as any child is capable of doing it.

tretorn wrote: »

Biting isnt that usual, I have a big family and came from a big family and have lots of cousins and they have lots of children and none have ever bitten anyone.

If your children bit each other lawred then thats your normal, its not mine and I would have complained to the creche manager if it ever happened to my child. Think yourself how you would feel if one of your colleagues sunk his teeth into your arm, I cant imagine you would be shrugging that off but then you say to a toddler this is no big deal.

Its an extremely aggressive thing to do and the creche staff should be supervising this child closely. And, yes, my children never hit, pushed or bit other children while in creche and I would expect creche staff to take care of my children the way I did myself so if a biter is on the loose then someone supervises him properly.

Im not supportive of any behaviour that affects other children but yes, creche life often does not suit little boys who are a lot of work. They would be better off being minded on one to one, preferably by their parents or failing that a childminder who has a garden they can let off stem in. This child sounds very frustrated and angry and he has probably become the bold boy in the creche and is a pain in the ass for low paid staff who are probably planning on how to expel him.

I'm sorry - I stopped reading there :rolleyes:

tretorn wrote: »

Pushing, biting , throwing, I dont think you would like to spend your day in an environment like that either. I feel so sorry for children who spend almost all their waking hours in creche land, imagine what the stress levels of the gentle timid children are like.

Anyway, back to the OP.

I would take the creches advice and seek professional help immediately. This is not normal behaviour for children and your daughter needs to get a handle on it herself or get a professional to give advice.

I would look for alternative childcare too, your grandchild has probably burnt too many bridges with the creche so a fresh start might be good for him, thats if his behaviour can be improved, if not a new childcre arrangement will be negative too.

You're jumping the shark really with this emotive stuff. And it serves little purpose. That's your interpretation of the environment that the OP has introduced. There is no such evidence that the creche is like that. And no one bar you has attempted to paint it as such.

Biting happens at that age. In even the best run creches. Your reaction is way over the top and quite vindictive in tone and content.

tretorn wrote: »

Little boys a lot of time dont do well in creche. The staff prefer little biddable girls and not rowdy boys who need activity. The staff is also entirely female and many young creche staff just dont relate to boys well.

Your daughter might be better off finding a good childminder or if possible taking a few years off work to take care of her child herself.

And, no, it most certainly is not the creches role to take responsibility if there is a problem. It sounds like they are fed up with your grandsons behaviour, biting is actually very serious and other parents are probably complaining. I had my children in a creche when they were young and I would have hit the roof if my child was bitten, what are the creche doing to supervise your grandchild, surely he hasnt bitten more than once.

Be prepared for the creche having a conversation with you about finding alternative daycare for him, it would be good to have a back up plan in place.

Jesus wept. OP do not listen to any of this post, it's completely ill informed.

On point of young female crèche staff not relating to boys, absolute rubbish. If this is the case (which I'm 100% positive it's not, as a crèche with this level of staff engagement wouldn't last 6 months,) staff are not trained properly and/or don't care enough. Time to move crèche.

On recommendation for parent to "take a few years off work," this is laughable, and a completely out of touch suggestion, for many reasons. The main one being the parent obviously needs to work and therefore must place the child in childcare. "Taking a few years off work" is not an option for 99% of parents, and I presume this is the case for the OP, as their child is already in childcare, and wouldn't be if they had other options.

On point of "hitting the roof" if a child was bitten in crèche, get over yourself. It happens up and down the country every day in crèches. It's a fact of children growing up, they play, they fall, they get back up, they grab, they scratch, they bite. Whether intentional or not, it happens. If it is happening often then crèche have a responsibility to prevent it.

On the point of crèche suggesting "finding alternative daycare," this is also rubbish. If they do make this suggestion after what seems like an isolated incident they are clearly not invested in the child's development and are looking for an easy life.

OP advise your daughter to engage with crèche and take on board their advice, while asking them what plan they have in place to monitor and record his behaviours so that there's a record available for professionals if required.

Best of luck

tretorn wrote: »

Creche Care doesnt suit a lot of little boys, it suits girls who like to sit and colour and therefore make the creche staffs job easier.

Creche Staff are very badly paid and usually working in creches because they havent a lot of other options regarding work, hence points required for childcare courses are very low.

This doesnt sound like isolated incidences, if it was the creche staff could manage this childs behaviour or you would hope they could given the amount the owners of the creches are charging.

We have a huge problem with mental health problems in children and young teenagers and a lot of this is down to children spending long hours in unsuitable day care staffed by badly paid uninterested staff. The truth always hurts and no one cares about children.

At least this creche is taking some action, in some creches staff would say nothing and just sit it out and if other parents shrug their shoulders and say biting in par for the course then creche staff will do nothing. They wouldnt do nothing if it was my child though being bitten though, I would kick up such a fuss.

What utter nonsense

iamwhoiam wrote: »

So , any links to studied done on the effects of creche on kids .Any links on research or even a study done by a professional .?

Shur we don't care for experts any more. We're tired of them.

We go with feelings now.