French author, 50, says he's incapable of loving a woman of 50

Obvious Desperate Breakfasts · 09-01-2019 9:01pm

Mrsmum wrote: »

Ah look, Greencap. Nearly everyone has romantic disappointments in their youth and it can often be a cruel scene. Ann is madly into Barry but Barry has no interest whatsoever in Ann as he's too busy running after Maria. Meanwhile Maria has the hots for Dave who only has eyes for Ann even though she can't bear him. It's the way of life. But then one day any one of the above (representing the general population) click with the one and all the past is forgotten. It's a bit extreme to want randomers from the past to suffer some kind of humiliation before you can feel good about yourself. It's giving them way too much power over you.

That’s an excellent way of putting it.

I had a guy I went to school with express bitterness towards me over the years, even into adulthood, because I turned him down at a disco when we were in first year of secondary school. I was 12 years old. I simply wasn’t ready to start kissing boys at that age. But he took it as a huge affront to his ego that I turned him down. So so weird.

greencap · 09-01-2019 9:04pm

Wibbs wrote: »

I'm not really the schadenfreude type.

What? Never?

On no topic?

How about irony? Do you find irony pleasing or amusing at times?

Wibbs · 09-01-2019 9:10pm

DS86DS wrote: »

Men don't care about what a woman's education or job is. Her job could be sweeping the floors in Burger King and I wouldn't care less.

Speak for yourself Ted. And I say that as a barely reconstructed man in a few ways.

greencap wrote: »

I'm sure Josephine is fine for him.
And I'm sure both Sean Og, and Josephine will ask each other out.

But it doesn't really end there does it now.

Theres more.

A lot of fully grown and physically attractive men possibly will have no problem whatsoever dating young Josephine.

Normally zero fully grown and physically attractive women will have no problem whatsoever dating young Sean Og.

This is because young Josephine has something that fully grown men instinctively value.

Sean however has nothing which fully grown women instinctively value.

And so, anecdotes and rare exceptions aside, Josephine will be treated like a valued friend.

And Sean will be treated like a sales caller at your door. Initially.

If he can make it to a point some years from now, where he's capable of supporting a family, then he will have something to offer. Until then he's not valued. And as such treated, within the realm of romance, as a thing of no value most of the time.

Josephine will have the reverse course. In general.
Rocket to high value, slowly descent.

Sean will meet her as they cross trajectories.

Should Josephine have a 'what the ****' look on her face at the time, then honestly how could Sean not chuckle just a little. Out of bitterness of course.

What weird world do you live in? Genuinely. I really don't recognise it. I kinda see how it or something like it might be in play between say 16 and 22, that late adolescent peer pressure figuring yourself out stage, but people grow up. Again maybe it's a social circle thing. If I found myself in such, I'd find a better more normal one.

I'm also smelling a lot of the truly fcuking retarded Yank "Red Pill" stuff in notions like this. A regurgitation of a "theory" to fit one's own life and hardships. Usually over one particular woman. It's nearly always one(maybe two) particular woman - usually his First Love™, super duper high score if unrequited - in a man's head that informs his worldview, even non bitter men. Indeed if I were to pick a random bloke on the street and take a time machine and observe his first relationship/connection with a woman, I'd bet in the majority of cases I'd be able to track his attitudes in the future.

It's also been my experience that compared to women, men have less capacity for a reset switch on that sorta thing(and I'd count myself among their number). I've known women who've gone through a succession of total knob heads(who they inevitably pick) and yeah by god they can be bitter, eyeing up kittens at the local animal shelter, but they're generally more capable of reseting that and still being open to possibilities.

Wibbs · 09-01-2019 9:13pm

greencap wrote: »

What? Never?

On no topic?

How about irony? Do you find irony pleasing or amusing at times?

Ah sure GC and the occasional Darwin Award recipient will raise a guilty giggle, but generally not so much. I've been through enough difficult times in my life to not want to wish ill on others. I certainly hope not to go down the gloating route . Bad energy for the soul and all that.

Sardonicat · 09-01-2019 9:14pm

Seriously, you can love your cat and your man! They are not mutually exclusive.

xi5yvm0owc1s2b · 09-01-2019 9:20pm

DS86DS wrote: »

Men don't care about what a woman's education or job is.

Nonsense. A girlfriend or wife is more than someone to have sex with. A good relationship is a partnership -- emotionally, socially, financially, and in numerous other ways -- and it isn't going to be much of a partnership outside of the bedroom if she's uneducated and unemployed.

Wibbs · 09-01-2019 9:27pm

Sardonicat wrote: »

Seriously, you can love your cat and your man! They are not mutually exclusive.

Unfortunately cats hate me at it seems like an instinctive level. Cats are allergic to me.

Ditto for horses and hoofed animals in general. On the other hand dogs love me. Hell, even human habituated wolves love me(word to the wise, if they like you they try to French kiss you). But cats, nope.

ArchXStanton · 09-01-2019 9:34pm

It's true though, I swipe left on most women my age on tinder, the younger ones are more attractive but would be hell to listen to them

greencap · 09-01-2019 10:06pm

Wibbs wrote: »

What weird world do you live in? Genuinely.

A world in which females gain sudden sexual value early, and male gain sexual value relatively later and more gradually.

A world where we treat things which we value well, and tend not to really waste our time on things which we don't choose to value.

A world in which the vast majority of humans are driven to some extent by biology.

A world in which we have limited time, or in the case of a younger woman, very limited time, in which to achieve our goals.

A world in which young men starting out tend to earn relatively little. Normally not enough to support a family and home.

A world in which pregnancy and child raising takes women out of the work force for extended time.

A world in which we must generally transfer wages for food and shelter.

A world in which more established men tend to earn relatively more than younger guys.

A world in which female fertility is valued by men.

A world in which female fertility fades over time.

I really don't recognise it.

Well ok, but thats how objective reality is. These things have influence on us, as a species.

And lead to certain behaviors. In some cases certain necessary and dismissive behaviors.

In one direction at the beginning.
And in the opposite direction later on.

I kinda see how it or something like it might be in play between say 16 and 22, that late adolescent peer pressure figuring yourself out stage, but people grow up. Again maybe it's a social circle thing. If I found myself in such, I'd find a better more normal one.

You know, just cause facts don't sound nice, doesn't mean that the person saying them is bad in some way.

If I told you a million soldiers (male and female) perished at Stalingrad, would I be called blood thirsty, etc.

Some thing just are.
It doesn't have to be about the person who says it, or their childhood, or their social circle.

Grab All Association · 09-01-2019 10:10pm

I’m sure the sjw’ complaining about what he said would sleep with a 50 year old.

Sonic Youth · 09-01-2019 10:13pm

Lotus Flower wrote: »

Well I don't have kids and don't want them but if I did, I certainly would have been in no place financially or mentally to have them in my 20s. There's no right or wrong time to have kids, just the right time for those involved. Besides, why aren't more 20 something guys looking to have kids or is this all the fault of women? I don't know, from my own personal experience, any guys in their 20s who wanted kids

Well I would say the wrong time to have kids is about 35+ when it gets a lot more difficult and dangerous to have them.

As for why men don't want to start families? Well a combination of being manchildren who just want to play computer games and an inability to meet a girl who wants to settle down. Seems a lot people are kicking the can down the road in that regard. I'm 30 and I know I need to get sonething serious going soon so I can get married and have children.

The alternative is to be the eternal bachelor or the old man in the nightclub or the bitter old loser in the pub all day. None of those even bear thinking about.

greencap · 09-01-2019 10:15pm

Wibbs wrote: »

Ah sure GC and the occasional Darwin Award recipient will raise a guilty giggle, but generally not so much. I've been through enough difficult times in my life to not want to wish ill on others. I certainly hope not to go down the gloating route . Bad energy for the soul and all that.

organ music.

beam of light.

wibbs ascends into heaven.

first seat on the right.

Arghus · 09-01-2019 10:16pm

Arah, greencap. Life must be tough. How can you have all that bitterness in ya?

greencap · 09-01-2019 10:18pm

Arghus wrote: »

Arah, greencap. Life must be tough. How can you have all that bitterness in ya?

oh fck off.

Sonic Youth · 09-01-2019 10:23pm

Another thing is I don't think women realise how tough many men have it when it comes to finding a partner. Many men have terrible social skills and if they failed to learn how to interact with girls in school they are probably ****ed for life. It's way easier for women in that regard.

Lotus Flower · 09-01-2019 10:34pm

Sonic Youth wrote: »

Another thing is I don't think women realise how tough many men have it when it comes to finding a partner. Many men have terrible social skills and if they failed to learn how to interact with girls in school they are probably ****ed for life. It's way easier for women in that regard.

Most women do realise this. It's not a competition over who has a tougher time of it. You'll notice from this thread that it's not women who are turning into a battle of men vs women, it's the guys who are posting about "Post wall" and justice that are making it a battle

mzungu · 09-01-2019 10:36pm

greencap wrote: »

You know, just cause facts don't sound nice, doesn't mean that the person saying them is bad in some way.

If I told you a million soldiers (male and female) perished at Stalingrad, would I be called blood thirsty, etc.

Some thing just are.
It doesn't have to be about the person who says it, or their childhood, or their social circle.

What facts? Your posts sound like a rant lifted straight from some YouTube goon in the USA.

Lotus Flower · 09-01-2019 10:37pm

mzungu wrote: »

What facts? Your posts sound like a rant lifted straight from some YouTube goon in the USA.

He's been reading up on the MGTOW movement, clearly

Sardonicat · 09-01-2019 10:38pm

Wibbs wrote: »

Sardonicat wrote: »

Seriously, you can love your cat and your man! They are not mutually exclusive.

Unfortunately cats hate me at it seems like an instinctive level. Cats are allergic to me. Ditto for horses and hoofed animals in general. On the other hand dogs love me. Hell, even human habituated wolves love me(word to the wise, if they like you they try to French kiss you). But cats, nope.

There's clearly something very, very wrong with you. Do your eyebrows meet in the middle?

All animals love my fella. Even my really stand offish cat who baulks at human touch throws herself at him like a little, furry trollop.

ginandtonicsky · 09-01-2019 10:41pm

Sonic Youth wrote: »

Another thing is I don't think women realise how tough many men have it when it comes to finding a partner. Many men have terrible social skills and if they failed to learn how to interact with girls in school they are probably ****ed for life. It's way easier for women in that regard.

And men have exclusivity on that, do they? Tell me more about men being the only people who struggle to find a partner. I could rattle off a laundry list of at least ten women who torture themselves over this sh1t without so much as thinking about it. Been sold the dream of men constantly asking them out, being lied to about what they need to do to be attractive to men (including: don't for a second make a move on a guy, if he wants you he'll chase you!). Social women, socially awkward women, attractive women, not so attractive women.

Being used for sex and dropped like a hot potato when/if they ever get anywhere with men they like, developing complexes and self-esteem issues because they spent their lives being the "hot girl's" sidekick or unwitting wingwoman who never got a sideways glance from any man if there was a vaguely attractive woman in their presence. Or being valued solely on their looks and objectified and treated like a piece of meat from the get-go.

And then being told they're inadequate and weird and "why did you waste so long working on your career/being single/travelling/insert-normal-behaviour in your 20s, you're too old now" by society when they're still partner-less after a certain age.

And did I mention cat jokes?

The problem with humanising women and looking at reality for what it is, is that it doesn't support a world view that you're pathologically clutching at with a death grip.

greencap · 09-01-2019 10:52pm

mzungu wrote: »

What facts? Your posts sound like a rant lifted straight from some YouTube goon in the USA.

Pick one.

Maybe the youtube goons have it right.

Just being a goon doesn't make you wrong.

ArchXStanton · 09-01-2019 11:03pm

ginandtonicsky wrote: »

And men have exclusivity on that, do they? Tell me more about men being the only people who struggle to find a partner. I could rattle off a laundry list of at least ten women who torture themselves over this sh1t without so much as thinking about it. Been sold the dream of men constantly asking them out, being lied to about what they need to do to be attractive to men (including: don't for a second make a move on a guy, if he wants you he'll chase you!). Social women, socially awkward women, attractive women, not so attractive women.

Being used for sex and dropped like a hot potato when/if they ever get anywhere with men they like, developing complexes and self-esteem issues because they spent their lives being the "hot girl's" sidekick or unwitting wingwoman who never got a sideways glance from any man if there was a vaguely attractive woman in their presence. Or being valued solely on their looks and objectified and treated like a piece of meat from the get-go.

And then being told they're inadequate and weird and "why did you waste so long working on your career/being single/travelling/insert-normal-behaviour in your 20s, you're too old now" by society when they're still partner-less after a certain age.

And did I mention cat jokes?

The problem with humanising women and looking at reality for what it is, is that it doesn't support a world view that you're pathologically clutching at with a death grip.

Women have it easier when it comes to dating/love, sure they still get heart broken, meet the cheaters, manipulators players etc. But in terms of opportunity it's not a level playing field whether that's for love or a short term fling

mzungu · 09-01-2019 11:35pm

greencap wrote: »

Pick one.

Maybe the youtube goons have it right.

Just being a goon doesn't make you wrong.

There are no facts to pick. Pretty much everything you have posted has already been posted before (in various forms) down through the years with the main source coming from said YouTube goons and other assorted groupings on subreddits.

There is nothing new there. No great big insight. No facts. Just lies. It's all made up fantasy for insecure men to avoid any kind of critical self analysis as to how they ended up dateless and alone in the first place. This is why RedPill and all those lads get a following. They are all scared of any kind of critical self examination because they know that they are the problem.

greencap · 09-01-2019 11:39pm

mzungu wrote: »

There are no facts to pick. Pretty much everything you have posted has already been posted before (in various forms) down through the years with the main source coming from said YouTube goons and other assorted groupings on subreddits.

There is nothing new there. No great big insight. No facts. Instead its merely made up fantasy in order to avoid any kind of critical self analysis as to how they ended up dateless and alone in the first place.

lol.

DS86DS · 09-01-2019 11:43pm

Grab All Association wrote: »

I’m sure the sjw’ complaining about what he said would sleep with a 50 year old.

It's more than likely that all of these women are angry that a wealthy man will be taken. They wouldn't care if he was Jimmy the street sweeper or farmhand.

Wibbs · 09-01-2019 11:48pm

greencap wrote: »

Pick one.

Maybe the youtube goons have it right.

Just being a goon doesn't make you wrong.

Indeed. Goons, earlier. Responding to a question on post 2010 gender politics.

ArchXStanton wrote: »

Women have it easier when it comes to dating/love, sure they still get heart broken, meet the cheaters, manipulators players etc. But in terms of opportunity it's not a level playing field whether that's for love or a short term fling

They get more approached. They're most likely to be the socially receptive "passive" partner in the dance. It's not passive at all, but that's for another day... And it's a given excessive shyness, or social awkwardness in a woman is far less of an issue than the same in a man. The latter can easily become the Invisible Man. You're on the money AX they are more likely to get approached and don't or rarely have to do the direct asking, but it's who is approaching them that's the thing.

OK AX imagine reverso world for a moment, a world where you're the woman. You think deadly buzz. You're out of a night and men approach and chat you up. Great, but imagine the vast majority are guys you're not interested in, or they're pissed up and lazy eyed, or a bit too handsy, or you think it's just before last orders and it's any hole is a goal, or you do like him, but he's mooching on your terminally blonde friend with the giggles and padded bra. Or you simply want to have a few beers with mates down the pub, but have to deal with guys chatting you up at the bar, going to the jacks etc. Then it's not so great.

So yeah it's an advantage for women, but it's not the golden ticket it might appear to be on the surface. At least men choose who they approach. I'd reckon it's pretty 50/50 all in.

DS86DS · 09-01-2019 11:53pm

Average 30+ career woman in 20 years time

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Q60wHn1-rgE

Tell me how · 09-01-2019 11:58pm

DS86DS wrote: »

Average 30+ career woman in 20 years time

Average guy saying women need to pay close attention to how they look as a matter of priority.

Wibbs · 10-01-2019 12:10am

mzungu wrote: »

There is nothing new there. No great big insight. No facts. Just lies. It's all made up fantasy for insecure men to avoid any kind of critical self analysis as to how they ended up dateless and alone in the first place. This is why RedPill and all those lads get a following. They are all scared of any kind of critical self examination because they know that they are the problem.

Well.... yes M, but with a tiny bit of no. Years back when the PUA/Red pill thing started to gain traction(hello Scanlas *waves*

) and I was helping mod Personal Issues, where it started to show up, I had an oul delve into the culture of it, to get some angle on it for myself. Now in fairness, that was then, so...

What I found was yeah there was the well dodgy stuff, built on some obvious conclusions and facts, but with a hefty sprinkle of preselection and atomic powered Bro Science™. However there was also a major sense of self help type stuff for guys who felt left behind or outa step. Guys who essentially wanted help and couldn't find it anywhere, or found the usual "be yourself" advice the nonsense in practical terms that it is. Self improvement was a big thing. That a guy could improve his life and get more women. The former was heavily pushed as being more "real" in "frame"(like any group internal jargon is widespread).

The MGTOW types I've seen take the same setup but have just given up. Ditto for the Incels, with added bile. Both take great comfort in backing up their collective worldview.

TBH I had some respect for the PUA types. At least they were active, not passive and felt they could be better. Or at least trying.

The bit that really rubbed me up the wrong way was how a few guys were exploiting these (mostly)young men by offering a "simple solution" and that's gotten worse since. Many of the young guys were/are clearly open to suggestion, not out of stupidity, but desperation and these "gurus" were milking them for attention and money. Given how popular it was and is, it also showed me how so many young guys do feel left behind. And given a fair chunk of the acceptable mainstream advice given is authored by women I could see how it would appeal to many.

Sonic Youth · 10-01-2019 12:29am

ginandtonicsky wrote: »

And men have exclusivity on that, do they? Tell me more about men being the only people who struggle to find a partner. I could rattle off a laundry list of at least ten women who torture themselves over this sh1t without so much as thinking about it. Been sold the dream of men constantly asking them out, being lied to about what they need to do to be attractive to men (including: don't for a second make a move on a guy, if he wants you he'll chase you!). Social women, socially awkward women, attractive women, not so attractive women.

Being used for sex and dropped like a hot potato when/if they ever get anywhere with men they like, developing complexes and self-esteem issues because they spent their lives being the "hot girl's" sidekick or unwitting wingwoman who never got a sideways glance from any man if there was a vaguely attractive woman in their presence. Or being valued solely on their looks and objectified and treated like a piece of meat from the get-go.

And then being told they're inadequate and weird and "why did you waste so long working on your career/being single/travelling/insert-normal-behaviour in your 20s, you're too old now" by society when they're still partner-less after a certain age.

And did I mention cat jokes?

The problem with humanising women and looking at reality for what it is, is that it doesn't support a world view that you're pathologically clutching at with a death grip.

Yeah but those same women can STILL get sex and relationships. Now you're going to say 'yeah but that's just casual sex' well maybe but it's nice to know you can still hook up with some and experience some intimacy, even if it's a one night stand. The average looking, introverted guy may never experience that.

Same with relationships. Plenty of men these days will never get to experience one. Whereas most women do.

So it's easy (and acceptable) to mock the incels but maybe we should start to ask why so many young men are so isolated and lonely these day?

French author, 50, says he's incapable of loving a woman of 50

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