Sayings.....Rural/Regional even Funny!

A lad standing idle and daydreaming is "standing with his gob open to catch swallows"

A person who is clueless at his job "hasn't hands fit to wash himself". So hands so useless he'd even mess up washing them in a sink

The department are "them bastards in white coats". Catch all phrase for people who work in labs

When in a tractor or jeep or anytime see your fellow farmers and neighbours thou must salute, just the rules
If you get a reputation for ignoring people and not saluting you get known as "the lord mayor of <insert townland>" . Thinks they are too good for us, landed gentry

You judge a carpet by "would a dog even lay on it?". A cheap nasty carpet that was badly laid is so unacceptable that a tired dog would not even lay on it

There are unkind names for the VAT man when you owe money but they are kind names when he owes you money

Describing a small thin little fella! "The crator, has to stand twice, to make a shadow":P

A big mouth is only good for cooling soup.

you can pick your friends not your relations

For someone a bit tight with the cash
He is so tight if you stuck a lump of coal up his a**e it would come down a diamond.

For a lad that likes a bit too much drink
Tis a poor sign of a man that gets his personality out of a bottle

And for someone you dont like much(but mainly dept inspectors:))
If he was on fire i wouldnt p**s on him
Edit. Nearly never bulled a cow.
He is as much use as a tit on a bull