Older single men and women

cazzer22 · 02-08-2014 8:39pm

krudler wrote: »

Everyone should travel alone at some stage, it's great not having anyone else to get into arguments with about where to go or what to do, all your time is your own. You're out of your comfort zone so chat to randomers in bars just for the sake of chatting.

I can see why people would love to go traveling alone, but I just don't know if I could do it. Where did you go travelling alone just out of interest?

krudler · 02-08-2014 8:42pm

Arbiter of Good Taste wrote: »

Years ago I sat in a pub waiting for a friend echo was late. I had the newspaper and ordered a drink. A sad middle aged couple sat across from me staring. I felt very uncomfortable. Same scenario in Sydney, no one batted an eyelid. There's something about this country that people can't mind their own business. Maybe that's the reason.

Its a very Irish thing alright. You see people sitting in bars or restaurants all the time over here and nobody cares, why would you care about what someone is doing on their own? it's utterly bizarre.

krudler · 02-08-2014 8:43pm

cazzer22 wrote: »

I can see why people would love to go traveling alone, but I just don't know if I could do it. Where did you go travelling alone just out of interest?

Bunch of places around America's west coast, and moved to Canada :pac:

I do know people who can't spend any time by themselves, including one grown man who won't walk into a pub on his own, someone has to go out and meet him. Apparently walking into a packed pub on a saturday by yourself to meet people already in there is "sad".

Czarcasm · 02-08-2014 8:43pm

Voodoomelon wrote: »

Just some observations about older single men and women I've made over the years.

I see far more 40+ year old single men out eating by themselves in restaurants and drinking in bars, going to sporting events, cinema etc, than women. In fact you would rarely see women of that age ever doing the above.

Men drink in groups too, like when there's a match on the main screen or whatever. There are more women in their 30s and 40s in clubs, depending on what club you go to (not talking Coppers or Krystle, but actual decent night clubs), many more women in the Arts - theatre, art gallery exhibition opening nights, book recitals.

Do middle-aged single women stay out of the public eye more than men, or am I incorrectly assuming that men out by themselves in the above situations (maybe excluding sport) are single?

More than likely, but this post alone shows you've got form

I worked in a bar/restaurant for years and I remember just one regular middle-aged women coming in for dinner. One. Yet you'd get many men a week in for a meal for one. Do women prefer to eat/drink at home than to be seen in public alone?

One venue, one woman, and you extrapolated that out to make an assertion about women in society in general? If anyone needs to get out more...

No. Women aren't still tied to the kitchen sink, and enjoy as much an active social life, independence, and affluence as their male counterparts.

Or do more women end up married than men (probably a given)

How?

I'm sensing some old fashioned ideas in your "observations" tbh. You seem to completely ignore the possibility of couples in long term co-habiting relationships, and the myriad of other possible permutations.

Is it part of the same cycle that causes more men to become alcoholic, become homeless etc?

What "same cycle" are you talking about here? And by "more men" becoming alcoholic and homeless, do you mean more men than women, or just the men that you have observed going for dinner on their own?

02-08-2014 8:43pm

Traveling alone would be great. I had a 4 day holiday on my own and ended up in a hostel and a Swedish girl came in and talked to me for hours. :pac: Also came across a limited edition whiskey in a pub that was being sold at regular prices that I probably wouldn't have copped on to if I'd be in a group because we would've been on rounds of pints. Went wandering alone, chatted to people, great fun. I flew to Canada alone to meet my friend over there. On the way over the old woman next to me got 2 drinks, which I never would've thought of. :P On the way back got talking to someone on the bus whose family was from Hull. Loads of little memories that are mine and mine only.

gugleguy · 02-08-2014 8:43pm

Mr. Incognito wrote: »

Men enjoy their own company more.

That's right, me
to my own poison.

02-08-2014 8:44pm

Czarcasm wrote: »

There are more women in their 30s and 40s in clubs, depending on what club you go to (not talking Coppers or Krystle, but actual decent night clubs)

Where?

gugleguy · 02-08-2014 8:45pm

@ Aribiter of Good Taste: That IS one reason.

cazzer22 · 02-08-2014 8:46pm

krudler wrote: »

Bunch of places around America's west coast, and moved to Canada :pac:

I do know people who can't spend any time by themselves, including one grown man who won't walk into a pub on his own, someone has to go out and meet him. Apparently walking into a packed pub on a saturday by yourself to meet people already in there is "sad".

Some people just prefer to walk in with someone I guess. I'd have no problem walking into a pub to meet someone, just wouldn't actually go for a drink on my own though. Canada and America sound pretty cool, too. I would love to go travelling eventually.

lulu1 · 02-08-2014 8:51pm

Lapin wrote: »

How do you know all the men are single OP?

Maybe they just go out to eat beause they can't stand their wife's cooking.

I would say most men would eat the wife's cooking before they would spend the money on a meal.

northgirl · 02-08-2014 8:51pm

Deleted User wrote: »

I've had a few girls admit that the reason they were late for some meet-ups was because they would feel too weird if they had to sit in the pub on their own for a few minutes before I showed up. Bordering on sad tbh.

Why is that sad? Going on meet-ups can be nerve wracking.

ancapailldorcha · 02-08-2014 8:51pm

Unfortunately, I missed out on the travelling thing but I have been on a few group holidays which were definitely worth it.

krudler · 02-08-2014 8:51pm

cazzer22 wrote: »

Some people just prefer to walk in with someone I guess. I'd have no problem walking into a pub to meet someone, just wouldn't actually go for a drink on my own though. Canada and America sound pretty cool, too. I would love to go travelling eventually.

Try it, early evening/daytime. Quiet pub, just sit there and read or people watch if there's a window looking onto a street. It's really nice.

Shakespeare's Sister · 02-08-2014 8:53pm

northgirl wrote: »

Why is that sad? Going on meet-ups can be nerve wracking.

But their issue is with being seen alone, even though just for a few minutes. That is sad. Very needy and insecure.

It boils down to "Omg, a bunch of strangers might think I'm a loner!"

ancapailldorcha · 02-08-2014 8:54pm

krudler wrote: »

Try it, early evening/daytime. Quiet pub, just sit there and read or people watch if there's a window looking onto a street. It's really nice.

I've only just started doing that and I agree. It took me ages to get to the stage where I could go to the pub alone. Cinemas, walks, gigs all fine but pubs and restaurants I just feel uneasy in if I am alone.

02-08-2014 8:54pm

northgirl wrote: »

Why is that sad? Going on meet-ups can be nerve wracking.

1) The people I'm referring to were very good friends of mine
2) Aside from that, what has the meet-up bit have to do with the sitting in a pub for a few minutes? Surely it'd be better to be waiting than to take the chance of catching the guy's eye and walking towards him and tripping? :P

cazzer22 · 02-08-2014 8:55pm

krudler wrote: »

Try it, early evening/daytime. Quiet pub, just sit there and read or people watch if there's a window looking onto a street. It's really nice.

I'm actually kind of intrigued now to try something outside the box. Cheers

Witchie · 02-08-2014 8:57pm

I am 40 and eat out, go for coffee, go to gigs etc on my own all the time. Maybe you don't notice coz I don't look 40.

krudler · 02-08-2014 8:57pm

cazzer22 wrote: »

I'm actually kind of intrigued now to try something outside the box. Cheers

Do it, you'll wonder what the fuss was about. People generally don't give a crap, and if they do, so? oh no a total stranger I'll never see again thinks I'm weird, big whoop.

northgirl · 02-08-2014 9:04pm

Deleted User wrote: »

1) The people I'm referring to were very good friends of mine
2) Aside from that, what has the meet-up bit have to do with the sitting in a pub for a few minutes? Surely it'd be better to be waiting than to take the chance of catching the guy's eye and walking towards him and tripping? :P

Fair enough. I suppose I'm just thinking that some people might find going to a venue alone nerve wracking on top of the whole "meet-up" nerves that's all

northgirl · 02-08-2014 9:06pm

Magaggie wrote: »

But their issue is with being seen alone, even though just for a few minutes. That is sad. Very needy and insecure.

It boils down to "Omg, a bunch of strangers might think I'm a loner!"

I think there could be more to it than that in fairness..

I'm personally not hugely confident and maybe I am insecure.. but what of it..

cazzer22 · 02-08-2014 9:06pm

krudler wrote: »

Do it, you'll wonder what the fuss was about. People generally don't give a crap, and if they do, so? oh no a total stranger I'll never see again thinks I'm weird, big whoop.

Haha. Very true. I guess it's just the same as anything, do it once and you'll do it again and again.

krudler · 02-08-2014 9:09pm

cazzer22 wrote: »

Haha. Very true. I guess it's just the same as anything, do it once and you'll do it again and again.

Exactly, and honestly hows it any different than getting a coffee by yourself? its just a different drink

cazzer22 · 02-08-2014 9:11pm

krudler wrote: »

Exactly, and honestly hows it any different than getting a coffee by yourself? its just a different drink

You speak a lot of sense. Cheers for the advice

02-08-2014 9:15pm

northgirl wrote: »

Fair enough. I suppose I'm just thinking that some people might find going to a venue alone nerve wracking on top of the whole "meet-up" nerves that's all

Well personally I'd like to get there first so I could get the seat that I want and stake the place out. :P

I Voted For Kodos · 02-08-2014 9:27pm

Have you ever considered that everyone you see on their own isn't single?

Some people go for pints or food alone after work.. Myself being one of them, then on to the girlfriends house.

Thebigblue · 04-08-2014 7:21pm

I Voted For Kodos wrote: »

Have you ever considered that everyone you see on their own isn't single?

Some people go for pints or food alone after work.. Myself being one of them, then on to the girlfriends house.

I'd have to agree here,not all people that do things by themselves are single. Some people just enjoy their own company every now and again