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Older single men and women

  • 02-08-2014 7:50pm
    #1
    Voodoomelon
    Registered Users Posts: 9,662 ✭✭✭Voodoomelon


    Just some observations about older single men and women I've made over the years.

    I see far more 40+ year old single men out eating by themselves in restaurants and drinking in bars, going to sporting events, cinema etc, than women. In fact you would rarely see women of that age ever doing the above.

    Do middle-aged single women stay out of the public eye more than men, or am I incorrectly assuming that men out by themselves in the above situations (maybe excluding sport) are single?

    I worked in a bar/restaurant for years and I remember just one regular middle-aged women coming in for dinner. One. Yet you'd get many men a week in for a meal for one. Do women prefer to eat/drink at home than to be seen in public alone?

    Or do more women end up married than men (probably a given)? Is it part of the same cycle that causes more men to become alcoholic, become homeless etc?


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Comments

  • #2
    Aint Eazy Being Cheezy
    Registered Users Posts: 4,629 ✭✭✭Aint Eazy Being Cheezy


    Anytime I see a woman drinking alone, I always assume she's a hooker, and speak to her accordingly.


  • #3
    Alan Lively Tycoon
    Posts: 25,611 ✭✭✭✭ Alan Lively Tycoon


    Voodoomelon wrote: »
    Or do more women end up married than men (probably a given)? Is it part of the same cycle that causes more men to become alcoholic, become homeless etc?

    Who are they marrying?


  • #4
    gordongekko
    Registered Users Posts: 5,301 ✭✭✭gordongekko


    Deleted User wrote: »
    Who are they marrying?

    Lesbians


  • #5
    cazzer22
    Registered Users Posts: 501 ✭✭✭cazzer22


    I think women may be conscious about eating alone/doing stuff alone. I had this conversation with my boyfriend and it seems (from my experience) men seem to be more willing to do stuff on their own. I'd be too conscious of it.


  • #6
    Mr. Incognito
    Registered Users Posts: 9,798 ✭✭✭Mr. Incognito


    Women are more social and go in groups

    Men enjoy their own company more.


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  • #7
    Aint Eazy Being Cheezy
    Registered Users Posts: 4,629 ✭✭✭Aint Eazy Being Cheezy


    Mr. Incognito wrote: »
    Women are more social and go in groups

    Men enjoy their own company more.

    Each and every single one of them.


  • #8
    o1s1n
    Registered Users Posts: 34,367 ✭✭✭✭o1s1n
    Master of the Universe


    cazzer22 wrote: »
    I think women may be conscious about eating alone/doing stuff alone. I had this conversation with my boyfriend and it seems (from my experience) men seem to be more willing to do stuff on their own. I'd be too conscious of it.

    Why can't you enjoy your own company while out and about? What do you have to be self conscious about?


  • #9
    Lapin
    Banned (with Prison Access) Posts: 18,184 ✭✭✭✭Lapin


    How do you know all the men are single OP?

    Maybe they just go out to eat beause they can't stand their wife's cooking.


  • #10
    cazzer22
    Registered Users Posts: 501 ✭✭✭cazzer22


    I'll do stuff like shopping, grabbing a coffee or simple things like that, but when it comes to a restaurant/cinema kinda thing, it's a thing that people do together so I'd feel weird doing it alone. I'd almost feel like people would be like ''oh that person is on their own'' and pass a comment. I guess some people are comfortable with it, I just don't think I am.

    I am just a person who doesn't really enjoy being alone for long periods of time, I prefer to be with people.


  • #11
    chinacup
    Registered Users Posts: 539 ✭✭✭chinacup


    o1s1n wrote: »
    Why can't you enjoy your own company while out and about? What do you have to be self conscious about?

    Because you get men approaching you thinking you're a hooker?


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  • #12
    Alan Lively Tycoon
    Posts: 25,611 ✭✭✭✭ Alan Lively Tycoon


    o1s1n wrote: »
    Why can't you enjoy your own company while out and about? What do you have to be self conscious about?

    I've had a few girls admit that the reason they were late for some meet-ups was because they would feel too weird if they had to sit in the pub on their own for a few minutes before I showed up. Bordering on sad tbh.


  • #13
    Mr. Incognito
    Registered Users Posts: 9,798 ✭✭✭Mr. Incognito


    Duracell Bunny wrote: »
    Each and every single one of them.

    Yes. Every one.

    Time them taking a number two if you dont believe me.


  • #14
    Shakespeare's Sister
    Closed Accounts Posts: 3,412 ✭✭✭Shakespeare's Sister


    cazzer22 wrote: »
    I'll do stuff like shopping, grabbing a coffee or simple things like that, but when it comes to a restaurant/cinema kinda thing, it's a thing that people do together so I'd feel weird doing it alone. I'd almost feel like people would be like ''oh that person is on their own'' and pass a comment. I guess some people are comfortable with it, I just don't think I am.

    I am just a person who doesn't really enjoy being alone for long periods of time, I prefer to be with people.
    I'm similar, although cinema isn't sociable IMO. I'd go to the cinema alone no problem. Sometimes I prefer it.


  • #15
    Alan Lively Tycoon
    Posts: 25,611 ✭✭✭✭ Alan Lively Tycoon


    Magaggie wrote: »
    I'm similar, although cinema isn't sociable IMO. I'd go to the cinema alone no problem. Sometimes I prefer it.
    Even better in the day time and there's no-one else there.


  • #16
    cazzer22
    Registered Users Posts: 501 ✭✭✭cazzer22


    Deleted User wrote: »
    I've had a few girls admit that the reason they were late for some meet-ups was because they would feel too weird if they had to sit in the pub on their own for a few minutes before I showed up. Bordering on sad tbh.


    HA that's me all over. Girls hate to be in public places, waiting for someone. I'd always try and arrive just on time/ a few minutes late so I know I won't be first there.


  • #17
    Voodoomelon
    Registered Users Posts: 9,662 ✭✭✭Voodoomelon


    cazzer22 wrote: »
    I'll do stuff like shopping, grabbing a coffee or simple things like that, but when it comes to a restaurant/cinema kinda thing, it's a thing that people do together so I'd feel weird doing it alone. I'd almost feel like people would be like ''oh that person is on their own'' and pass a comment. I guess some people are comfortable with it, I just don't think I am.

    I am just a person who doesn't really enjoy being alone for long periods of time, I prefer to be with people.

    What about when you are middle-aged, or maybe you all ready are. Would you rather sit at home for two weeks, waiting for a group scenario to come around before going out? I'm not attacking, just wondering.


  • #18
    cazzer22
    Registered Users Posts: 501 ✭✭✭cazzer22


    Magaggie wrote: »
    I'm similar, although cinema isn't sociable IMO. I'd go to the cinema alone no problem. Sometimes I prefer it.


    Yeah I get you. It's not really a place where you can talk. I could never go for a random drink on my own, I'd feel really weird doing it and really self-conscious. Would you go for a drink on your own?


  • #19
    Agricola
    Registered Users Posts: 6,547 ✭✭✭Agricola


    Magaggie wrote: »
    I'm similar, although cinema isn't sociable IMO. I'd go to the cinema alone no problem. Sometimes I prefer it.

    Me too, plus no one can see me weeping in the darkness. AAAAHHHHHHHHHH!


  • #20
    cazzer22
    Registered Users Posts: 501 ✭✭✭cazzer22


    Voodoomelon wrote: »
    What about when you are middle-aged, or maybe you all ready are. Would you rather sit at home for two weeks, waiting for a group scenario to come around? I'm not attacking, just wondering.


    HAHA! I'm in my early twenties and no, that's not the case. I do stuff on my own like shopping/coffee, that kinda thing. When I'm middle aged (a while to go yet) I'd like to hope I'll be married and have friends to do stuff with. I'm actually living on my own for a few weeks at the moment (huge step)


  • #21
    Shakespeare's Sister
    Closed Accounts Posts: 3,412 ✭✭✭Shakespeare's Sister


    cazzer22 wrote: »
    Yeah I get you. It's not really a place where you can talk. I could never go for a random drink on my own, I'd feel really weird doing it and really self-conscious. Would you go for a drink on your own?
    Yeh I would in my local, but that's all. Certainly wouldn't go to a bar in town on my own.
    I'd, like you, have a coffee alone. I'd maybe have a quick lunch alone.
    I wouldn't go travelling alone though, or for dinner alone.
    There was a time I wouldn't have lived alone, but I do now and I love it.

    I wouldn't care about being early and waiting for someone in a restaurant, bar etc though - I don't understand why that would be something to be concerned about?


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  • #22
    Bongalongherb
    Closed Accounts Posts: 3,766 ✭✭✭Bongalongherb


    I'm a single male 45 years young and it never crossed my mind about doing things on my own while out and about. I don't even think of it, never had reason to :)


  • #23
    Voodoomelon
    Registered Users Posts: 9,662 ✭✭✭Voodoomelon


    cazzer22 wrote: »
    HAHA! I'm in my early twenties and no, that's not the case. I do stuff on my own like shopping/coffee, that kinda thing. When I'm middle aged (a while to go yet) I'd like to hope I'll be married and have friends to do stuff with. I'm actually living on my own for a few weeks at the moment (huge step)

    I've a while to go yet myself and am hoping if I were to be single at that stage that i'd be willing to still go out by myself. But as a man, I do feel it would be less of an effort than for a middle aged woman. I just have a sad image of many women sitting at home alone at that age. You could argue it's just as sad sitting at a bar, but at least it's social.


  • #24
    Alan Lively Tycoon
    Posts: 25,611 ✭✭✭✭ Alan Lively Tycoon


    Magaggie wrote: »
    Yeh I would in my local, but that's all. Certainly wouldn't go to a bar in town on my own.
    I'd, like you, have a coffee alone. I'd maybe have a quick lunch alone.
    I wouldn't go travelling alone though, or for dinner alone.
    There was a time I wouldn't have lived alone, but I do now and I love it.

    I wouldn't care about being early and waiting for someone in a restaurant, bar etc though - I don't understand why that would be something to be concerned about?
    Well how long is a "quick lunch"? If you were waiting 10 minutes in a bar for someone with a drink in front of you is that not "as bad"?


  • #25
    Shakespeare's Sister
    Closed Accounts Posts: 3,412 ✭✭✭Shakespeare's Sister


    Deleted User wrote: »
    Well how long is a "quick lunch"? If you were waiting 10 minutes in a bar for someone with a drink in front of you is that not "as bad"?
    Did you maybe misread my post? I said I wouldn't care about being on my own waiting for someone.

    By "quick lunch" I just mean e.g. a sandwich, rather than a two or three course dinner at lunchtime.


  • #26
    Bongalongherb
    Closed Accounts Posts: 3,766 ✭✭✭Bongalongherb


    I don't know why folk worry about it, single men and women should just do what they do and not think about what a bunch of strangers think IMO. Once you're happy who cares.


  • #27
    cazzer22
    Registered Users Posts: 501 ✭✭✭cazzer22


    Magaggie wrote: »
    Yeh I would in my local, but that's all. Certainly wouldn't go to a bar in town on my own.
    I'd, like you, have a coffee alone. I'd maybe have a quick lunch alone.
    I wouldn't go travelling alone though, or for dinner alone.
    There was a time I wouldn't have lived alone, but I do now and I love it.

    I wouldn't care about being early and waiting for someone in a restaurant, bar etc though - I don't understand why that would be something to be concerned about?


    Yeah that's exactly the same as me. If it was a date, I definitely wouldn't be waiting around for them. I'd wait a few extra minutes. I can't explain why it's just something I do. If I was meeting a friend I'd have no problem waiting for them in a restaurant. I can't explain the reason behind it, I guess it's just out of habit and I feel more comfortable that way.

    I could NEVER go travelling alone, it's a lot of pressure to put yourself under (in terms of making new friends etc). It's an adventure, but something I'd prefer to do with company.


  • #28
    Alan Lively Tycoon
    Posts: 25,611 ✭✭✭✭ Alan Lively Tycoon


    Magaggie wrote: »
    Did you maybe misread my post? I said I wouldn't care about being on my own waiting for someone.

    By "quick lunch" I just mean e.g. a sandwich, rather than a two or three course dinner at lunchtime.
    But would sitting on your own with a drink in front of you looking like a lush not be worse than settling down for a lovely lunch? :pac:


  • #29
    cazzer22
    Registered Users Posts: 501 ✭✭✭cazzer22


    Voodoomelon wrote: »
    I've a while to go yet myself and am hoping if I were to be single at that stage that i'd be willing to still go out by myself. But as a man, I do feel it would be less of an effort than for a middle aged woman. I just have a sad image of many women sitting at home alone at that age. You could argue it's just as sad sitting at a bar, but at least it's social.

    Yeah I know what you mean. I'm sure there are lots of women, who enjoy sitting in at home with a glass of wine, alone, which is totally fine if they're happy with that.

    You often see men sitting alone in bars, having a pint and it's normal but you never really see women doing it. I would put the reason down to being conscious of themselves out alone. I personally, feel more comfortable going out in a group or with another person.


  • #30
    Arbiter of Good Taste
    Registered Users Posts: 2,200 ✭✭✭Arbiter of Good Taste


    Years ago I sat in a pub waiting for a friend echo was late. I had the newspaper and ordered a drink. A sad middle aged couple sat across from me staring. I felt very uncomfortable. Same scenario in Sydney, no one batted an eyelid. There's something about this country that people can't mind their own business. Maybe that's the reason.


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  • #31
    krudler
    Registered Users Posts: 34,788 ✭✭✭✭krudler


    cazzer22 wrote: »
    Yeah that's exactly the same as me. If it was a date, I definitely wouldn't be waiting around for them. I'd wait a few extra minutes. I can't explain why it's just something I do. If I was meeting a friend I'd have no problem waiting for them in a restaurant. I can't explain the reason behind it, I guess it's just out of habit and I feel more comfortable that way.

    I could NEVER go travelling alone, it's a lot of pressure to put yourself under (in terms of making new friends etc). It's an adventure, but something I'd prefer to do with company.

    Everyone should travel alone at some stage, it's great not having anyone else to get into arguments with about where to go or what to do, all your time is your own. You're out of your comfort zone so chat to randomers in bars just for the sake of chatting.


This discussion has been closed.
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