Advertisement
If you have a new account but are having problems posting or verifying your account, please email us on hello@boards.ie for help. Thanks :)
Hello all! Please ensure that you are posting a new thread or question in the appropriate forum. The Feedback forum is overwhelmed with questions that are having to be moved elsewhere. If you need help to verify your account contact hello@boards.ie
Hi all,
Vanilla are planning an update to the site on April 24th (next Wednesday). It is a major PHP8 update which is expected to boost performance across the site. The site will be down from 7pm and it is expected to take about an hour to complete. We appreciate your patience during the update.
Thanks all.

End of #metoo

12467…17

Comments

  • #92
    dark crystal
    Registered Users Posts: 10,962 ✭✭✭✭dark crystal


    Ads by Google wrote: »
    It's actually pretty amusing to think that due to her lack of memory, the first line of her book would be a fairytale.

    "Once upon a time, in a place far, far away.."


    What were you doing on a Saturday 15th August 1999? How did you get there? Who else was there?


  • #93
    Dick Swiveller
    Closed Accounts Posts: 197 ✭✭Dick Swiveller


    dark crystal wrote: »
    FFS. Look at the statistics when it comes to prosecuting rape cases and tell me the alleged victims get the better deal.



    I can assure you, #ibelieveher is not the go to position outside of Twitter when you look at the outcomes of the majority of these cases.

    When did I say they do?


  • #94
    givyjoe
    Registered Users Posts: 3,287 ✭✭✭givyjoe


    leggo wrote: »
    Is this the first ever sexual assault story you've followed? How do you conclusively prove someone took their dick out without having a camera ready at the exact moment it happened? This is why it's so difficult to convict people, why so few people come forward to report incidents and why there's perhaps an over-correcting trend towards believing accusers, hence stuff like #IBelieveHer trending.

    It's mental like, a bit of perspective is needed. A lot of lads feel hard done by because of trial by social media, and that's fair enough I feel similarly, but they fail to realise that the system is already massively skewed towards rapists and people who commit these crimes yet have no interest in using their time to come up with solutions to that. How do you look at this situation and think, "Nope, let's keep the rapist-friendly status quo in place and do nothing"? It's so weird and creepy tbh. That could be your sister/wife/girlfriend/female friend one day who's begging to be believed, if god forbid this happens to them, are you going to give them a spiel about 'he said, she said'?!

    So much nonsense in one post. You could really do with some perspective yourself and perhaps brush up on the law. What's mental is people deciding #ibelievecompletestrangers on both sides,

    Because it's difficult to prove, we should be happy with the court of Twitter deciding people's guilt or innocence? If you are accused, we should we believe your accuser because its difficult to prove, or simply because you're a male and theyre female.?

    This, she could be your sister, wife nonsense is just that and completely irrelevant. Emotion or sympathy has no place in resolving these matters. A courtroom does.


  • #95
    batgoat
    Closed Accounts Posts: 3,423 ✭✭✭batgoat


    khaldrogo wrote: »
    She says.....

    And outside of The_Donald subreddit, nobody thinks she's lying... There's absolutely no reason to assume it.


  • #96
    dark crystal
    Registered Users Posts: 10,962 ✭✭✭✭dark crystal


    Stoolcup wrote: »
    When did I say they do?


    You're going after the 'ibelieveher' mob/brigade/usual AH lingo




    Hashtag campaigns mean nothing inside a courtroom. Nothing.


  • Advertisement
  • #97
    meeeeh
    Registered Users Posts: 11,624 ✭✭✭✭meeeeh


    Stoolcup wrote: »
    When did I say they do?

    You didn't but you seem to be very satisfied that this is the case.


  • #98
    rossie1977
    Registered Users Posts: 11,341 ✭✭✭✭rossie1977


    Ford even wrote a letter to Grassley telling him in the 36 hours after her name becoming public she was harassed, had death threats, e-mail hacked, impersonated online and was forced to move home (she has since been forced to move again)https://assets.documentcloud.org/documents/4901608/180918-Ltr-to-Grassley.pdf


  • #99
    [Deleted User]
    Posts: 17,381 ✭[Deleted User]


    dark crystal wrote: »
    What were you doing on a Saturday 15th August 1999? How did you get there? Who else was there?

    I wasn't getting raped so I've no idea.


  • #100
    batgoat
    Closed Accounts Posts: 3,423 ✭✭✭batgoat


    Ads by Google wrote: »
    I wasn't getting raped so I've no idea.

    And as pointed out during the testimony, it's incredibly common for a woman who has been raped or faced an attempted rape to have memory issues around events before and after. They've been through a massive trauma.


  • #101
    dark crystal
    Registered Users Posts: 10,962 ✭✭✭✭dark crystal


    Ads by Google wrote: »
    I wasn't getting raped so I've no idea.


    Lucky you.


  • Advertisement
  • #102
    Dick Swiveller
    Closed Accounts Posts: 197 ✭✭Dick Swiveller


    batgoat wrote: »
    And outside of The_Donald subreddit, nobody thinks she's lying... There's absolutely no reason to assume it.

    You don't know. Neither do the people in the Donald Trump room


  • #103
    Dick Swiveller
    Closed Accounts Posts: 197 ✭✭Dick Swiveller


    meeeeh wrote: »
    You didn't but you seem to be very satisfied that this is the case.

    If you're going to be snide and immature don't bother replying to me


  • #104
    khaldrogo
    Registered Users Posts: 1,572 ✭✭✭khaldrogo


    dark crystal wrote:
    Like O.J has? Or Bill Clinton?


    She's a woman. Oprah and Ellen. They will have her on in a heartbeat.


  • #105
    Cabaal
    Moderators, Technology & Internet Moderators, Regional South East Moderators Posts: 28,458 Mod ✭✭✭✭Cabaal


    rossie1977 wrote: »
    Ford even wrote a letter to Grassley telling him in the 36 hours after her name becoming public she was harassed, had death threats, e-mail hacked, impersonated online and was forced to move home (she has since been forced to move again)https://assets.documentcloud.org/documents/4901608/180918-Ltr-to-Grassley.pdf

    But...apparently her life hasn't been ruined,
    Sure all of the above has no negative effects on somebody....some would say
    :rolleyes:


  • #106
    dark crystal
    Registered Users Posts: 10,962 ✭✭✭✭dark crystal


    khaldrogo wrote: »
    She's a woman. Oprah and Ellen. They will have her on in a heartbeat.


    Oprah doesn't have a show any more. Ellen does light hearted showbiz interviews.


    Anyway, we'll see how many motivational tours/book deals she does after this is over won't we? She was hardly short of a few bob before she made the accusations btw. Doesn't strike me as a money grabber, but like I said, it remains to be seen if she 'cashes in' in the future.


  • #107
    [Deleted User]
    Posts: 17,381 ✭[Deleted User]


    batgoat wrote: »
    And as pointed out during the testimony, it's incredibly common for a woman who has been raped or faced an attempted rape to have memory issues around events before and after. They've been through a massive trauma.

    How quickly do they lose the memories, typically?
    dark crystal wrote: »
    Lucky you.

    I'm gonna assume you weren't either. Lucky us.


  • #108
    meeeeh
    Registered Users Posts: 11,624 ✭✭✭✭meeeeh


    Stoolcup wrote: »
    If you're going to be snide and immature don't bother replying to me

    You were talking about beautiful system. It might be the best system we have but it's not beautiful and can be improved in how victims are treated.


  • #109
    batgoat
    Closed Accounts Posts: 3,423 ✭✭✭batgoat


    Ads by Google wrote: »
    How quickly do they lose the memories, typically?



    I'm gonna assume you weren't either. Lucky us.

    Immediately, fragmented memories tend to happen with major traumas and it's well documented and researched. To use an example, I nearly died about a decade back, I have crystal clear memories of parts of it but pretty limited around other parts.

    http://time.com/3625414/rape-trauma-brain-memory/


  • #110
    dark crystal
    Registered Users Posts: 10,962 ✭✭✭✭dark crystal


    Ads by Google wrote: »
    How quickly do they lose the memories, typically?



    I'm gonna assume you weren't either. Lucky us.


    I was actually. It was how I lost my virginity. I couldn't tell you his full name, the number of the house or who else was there besides my friend at the time. Still, you don't have to believe me. It's only my word against his.


  • #111
    rossie1977
    Registered Users Posts: 11,341 ✭✭✭✭rossie1977


    Kavanaugh was the worst possible candidate Trump could have picked. Republicans themselves knew that when they first tried keeping dozens of documents on him under lock and key while trying to ram through his appointment. The fact he is there to 1). Make sure the current president can't be removed from office, 2) elimination of roe vs wade would obviously get one side upset.

    Imagine the flip side of this is, a sitting democratic president was under investigation and half a dozen of his campaign team were under arrest or already convicted and said democrat picked a supreme court nominee who is there to protect president from being removed from office and get rid of second amendment...there would be riots on the streets. Republicans would be trying to burn down the White House.

    On top of that he has shown himself to be terrible candidate for such a position. He tried to first paint himself as an altar boy when in fact its been proved to be a complete fabrication and has lied under oath during these proceedings.


  • Advertisement
  • #112
    [Deleted User]
    Posts: 17,381 ✭[Deleted User]


    dark crystal wrote: »
    I was actually. It was how I lost my virginity. I couldn't tell you his full name, the number of the house or who else was there besides my friend at the time. Still, you don't have to believe me. It's only my word against his.

    It is unfortunately. I could ask you a similar question but then you wouldn't believe it from a man.


  • #113
    up for anything
    Registered Users Posts: 5,776 ✭✭✭up for anything


    Malayalam wrote: »
    On the bigger point regarding metoo my background is in law and the movement has trashed the presumption of innocence which is the foundation of our judicial system. It's a vigilante mob rule shambles. I don't support it in spite of the numerous assaults in my own history.

    Did you report the numerous assaults in your own history or did you just accept them as the way things are or think you may not be believed or not have enough evidence to back up reporting them?

    Stoolcup wrote: »
    You can have your own private thoughts on the matter but when #ibelieveher starts trending on twatter, that's dangerous.

    What is also dangerous is that I've put in more than a few years in this life and in all that time I know personally only a handful of women who claim not to have been sexually assaulted in their lives. The vast majority of women I know have been assaulted not once or even twice but several times and the sexual assaults range from incestuous rape to stranger rape to forced oral sex to 'minor' assaults. Ask yourself why women, quite a few of them mature professional 'non-hysterical' type women, feel that they can't report these incidents rather than you worrying too much about #ibelieveher.

    Women tend to talk amongst themselves about things like this and compare experiences rather than holding it in like men. It's not about having a feminist axe to grind or wanting to destroy a man because a woman scorned blah blah blah or any of that crap because as evidence proves very few women report such things because we are so often unbelieved, belittled or the process is so unfair. We talk amongst ourselves because that's what we do, because it's a talking therapy, hopefully, there is very little judgment and we can give each other advice based on our own experience.

    The majority of women are not out to get someone. We are lovely humans. We just don't know how to handle these assaults other than not making waves because usually there are no witnesses and when we do finally speak about someone reaching unasked into our pants and fondling or penetrating our beings both in both a physical and intangible way we tend to tear up and get a bit emotional or maybe even hysterical. Mostly the only thing that drives us to report or talk about our experiences is in an attempt to safeguard others or discovering that we were not alone and sometimes just the sheer unfairness of it all. Not one of us is eager to sit in court and be the victim who has to find the words to describe a sexual attack and what will be couched as our own stupidity or negligence in front of both the attacker(s), our own family and bunch of strangers and legal professionals.


  • #114
    [Deleted User]
    Posts: 17,381 ✭[Deleted User]


    batgoat wrote: »
    Immediately, fragmented memories tend to happen with major traumas and it's well documented and researched. To use an example, I nearly died about a decade back, I have crystal clear memories of parts of it but pretty limited around other parts.

    http://time.com/3625414/rape-trauma-brain-memory/

    Well then cases can't be prosecuted unless the victim goes straight to the police I guess. Can't risk ruining innocent lives with unreliable memories.


  • #115
    dark crystal
    Registered Users Posts: 10,962 ✭✭✭✭dark crystal


    Ads by Google wrote: »
    It is unfortunately. I could ask you a similar question but then you wouldn't believe it from a man.


    What question is that?


    Also, before you accuse me of being a man hater or whatever image you have of me dreamed up in your head, you couldn't be more wrong. DON'T assume to pigeonhole me as a misandrist because I was raped. Women, you may find hard to believe, aren't all vengeful man haters just because they have sympathy for victims of rape and sexual abuse/assault. That's just a lazy generalisation and an easy stick to beat us with.



    So go ahead and ask me whatever question you don't think I would believe your answer to.


  • #116
    dxhound2005
    Registered Users Posts: 20,447 ✭✭✭✭dxhound2005


    up for anything wrote: »

    What is also dangerous is that I've put in more than a few years in this life and in all that time I know personally only a handful of women who claim not to have been sexually assaulted in their lives. The vast majority of women I know have been assaulted not once or even twice but several times and the sexual assaults range from incestuous rape to stranger rape to forced oral sex to 'minor' assaults.

    Is it tens, hundreds? How did you get the information from them?


  • #117
    [Deleted User]
    Posts: 17,381 ✭[Deleted User]


    dark crystal wrote: »
    What question is that?


    Also, before you accuse me of being a man hater or whatever image you have of me dreamed up in your head, you couldn't be more wrong. DON'T assume to pigeonhole me as a misandrist because I was raped. Women, you may find hard to believe, aren't all vengeful man haters just because they have sympathy for victims of rape and sexual abuse/assault. That's just a lazy generalisation and an easy stick to beat us with.



    So go ahead and ask me whatever question you don't think I would believe your answer to.

    I'd rather not.


  • #118
    leggo
    Registered Users Posts: 9,061 ✭✭✭leggo


    givyjoe wrote: »
    So much nonsense in one post. You could really do with some perspective yourself and perhaps brush up on the law. What's mental is people deciding #ibelievecompletestrangers on both sides,

    Because it's difficult to prove, we should be happy with the court of Twitter deciding people's guilt or innocence? If you are accused, we should we believe your accuser because its difficult to prove, or simply because you're a male and theyre female.?

    This, she could be your sister, wife nonsense is just that and completely irrelevant. Emotion or sympathy has no place in resolving these matters. A courtroom does.

    It does resolve them. Kavanaugh's role in the Supreme Court isn't being decided by Twitter poll. Not one person has ever gone to prison because Twitter has convicted them, that's not how the legal system works. What do you think comes of these cases in real life? Kavanaugh may still become a Supreme Court judge, Paddy Jackson plays for Perpignan...these people's successful lives will move on if they are found to be innocent. So they don't get to be unanimously loved by Twitter, that isn't a human right. They are still getting their day in court and legal presumption of innocence.


  • #119
    dark crystal
    Registered Users Posts: 10,962 ✭✭✭✭dark crystal


    Ads by Google wrote: »
    I'd rather not.


    Well that's a shame. Now I'll forever have the assumption of being a poster who doesn't believe men hanging over me.


  • #120
    leggo
    Registered Users Posts: 9,061 ✭✭✭leggo


    Stoolcup wrote: »
    You said
    "they fail to realise that the system is already massively skewed towards rapists and people who commit these crimes yet have no interest in using their time to come up with solutions to that. How do you look at this situation and think, "Nope, let's keep the rapist-friendly status quo in place and do nothing"? It's so weird and creepy tbh. That could be your sister/wife/girlfriend/female friend one day who's begging to be believed, if god forbid this happens to them, are you going to give them a spiel about 'he said, she said'?!"

    This is exactly what the #ibelieveher mob want. I'm sorry for saying you are part of that mob, but what your saying is very dangerous. What changes do you want to make?

    Can you tell me the 22 words you cut out of my post that occurred literally before that section you quoted of me?

    I'll save you the hassle...
    A lot of lads feel hard done by because of trial by social media, and that's fair enough I feel similarly

    So shhh. Stop talking. You're not good at this.


  • Advertisement
  • #121
    batgoat
    Closed Accounts Posts: 3,423 ✭✭✭batgoat


    Ads by Google wrote: »
    I'd rather not.

    You're being incredibly disrespectful towards dark crystal after she's talked about an incredibly difficult experience, grow up a bit.


Advertisement