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Sh*te your co-workers say

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  • Options
    #482
    Monkey2019
    Registered Users Posts: 81 ✭✭Monkey2019


    Colleague keeps showing us pictures of his 16 year old daughter and her friends in their bikinis. It's so creepy.


  • Options
    #483
    Lollipops23
    Registered Users Posts: 5,420 ✭✭✭Lollipops23


    Lollipops23 wrote: »
    Laughs LOUDLY at her own jokes. Endlessly. Nobody else is laughing.

    Tried to get me to look at her infected earlobe yesterday. I told her I had no interest.

    Interrupts me to show me photos of her dog/garden/granny.

    Asks incessantly about what she could be doing (I'm not her boss, I'm busy doing my own stuff).

    I am so happy she's only maternity cover for a much more productive and pleasant coworker.

    She's stressed out that she left her phone at home today.

    In the fridge.


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    #484
    italodisco
    Registered Users Posts: 1,426 ✭✭✭italodisco


    Could be worse, we have an absolute demon of a woman on the team.
    Throws looks all day, tuts haws and grunts, moans on and on about men , foreigners, everything and anything.


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    #485
    Dravokivich
    Moderators, Category Moderators, Music Moderators, Politics Moderators, Society & Culture Moderators Posts: 22,360 CMod ✭✭✭✭Dravokivich


    heldel00 wrote: »
    New person started. Fairly small staff. I work next door. Haven't had time to catch my breath for the past two weeks but popped my head in during the week just to say "how are ya getting on? Only next door if you need anything...blah blah blah"
    Thanked me but they didn't even lift their eyes from computer screen. There I stood like a gom while they tappy tap tapped away on the keyboard. Manners cost nothing.

    You interrupted them, while they were working and think they lack manners?


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    #486
    optogirl
    Registered Users Posts: 2,975 ✭✭✭optogirl


    Dravokivich wrote: »
    You interrupted them, while they were working and think they lack manners?

    Ah come on.


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    #487
    Dravokivich
    Moderators, Category Moderators, Music Moderators, Politics Moderators, Society & Culture Moderators Posts: 22,360 CMod ✭✭✭✭Dravokivich


    optogirl wrote: »
    Ah come on.

    I don't go around expecting people to down tools for me.


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    #488
    partyguinness
    Registered Users Posts: 8,207 ✭✭✭partyguinness


    I used to work with this old dear- spinster, lived with spinster sister both late 50's at the time (over 10 years ago now) and went to morning mass everyday. Real Holy Mary type. While I had no interaction with her work wise as a different department we did share the same building.

    While she was a perfectly nice lady, she had two topics of conversation- the weather and local deaths.

    She shared a large open plan room next to office with my secretary and God help it if anyone sneezed:

    Lady 1: (sneezes)
    Holy Mary: God Bless You
    Lady 1: Thank you
    Holy Mary: You're welcome.

    I would overhear this 5 times a day

    *eye twitching


  • Options
    #489
    partyguinness
    Registered Users Posts: 8,207 ✭✭✭partyguinness


    Dravokivich wrote: »
    I don't go around expecting people to down tools for me.


    2 second eye contact is hardly downing tools- the person was hardly a steeplejack on top of a church fixing slates. He was at a computer screen.


  • Options
    #490
    partyguinness
    Registered Users Posts: 8,207 ✭✭✭partyguinness


    optogirl wrote: »
    . Colleagues were coming up to say goodbye to me at the end of the day & wish me luck etc and I was slowly packing up my stuff and chatting to people, my replacement says 'Are you actually going to leave or not?'.

    I remember taking a job over from a lady years ago. During the Celtic years and the pressure got to her so she carted herself off to South America for 12 months.

    To be fair she was sound but she was a little indignant when I met her 12 months later that I never called or emailed her on her files her matters being so complicated and pressurised and all:-

    'I know the pressure got to you but it wasn't that hard and I can take it. I can see why you got so wound up and pissed off a few good clients. You swamped them with paperwork on a daily basis when they made it clear that they did not like it or even read it but yet you persisted.'

    But there was a month between her leaving the job and flying out- she pretty much came into the office 1-2 a week for chats.

    'Jesus Christ. Just go already'.

    Even 12 months later she called in to see us...why...you have gone off working elsewhere. This is my turf now...eff off.

    I guess that is a lesson I learnt- you are never as important as you think you are and always replaceable.


  • Options
    #491
    hunter164
    Registered Users Posts: 2,076 ✭✭✭hunter164


    Monkey2019 wrote: »
    Colleague keeps showing us pictures of his 16 year old daughter and her friends in their bikinis. It's so creepy.

    Would you?


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  • Options
    #492
    J Mysterio
    Registered Users Posts: 11,035 ✭✭✭✭J Mysterio


    partyguinness wrote: »
    I used to work with this old dear- spinster, lived with spinster sister both late 50's at the time (over 10 years ago now) and went to morning mass everyday. Real Holy Mary type. While I had no interaction with her work wise as a different department we did share the same building.

    While she was a perfectly nice lady, she had two topics of conversation- the weather and local deaths.

    She shared a large open plan room next to office with my secretary and God help it if anyone sneezed:

    Lady 1: (sneezes)
    Holy Mary: God Bless You
    Lady 1: Thank you
    Holy Mary: You're welcome.

    I would overhear this 5 times a day

    *eye twitching

    I'm not religious in the least and would generally refrain saying 'bless you' because of that, but ive always felt kind of bad to say nothing. Should probably say 'gesundheit'.

    But on that point, ive noticed that this is much the same everywhere. The youth today are very dissafected with religion generally. Result of this is when someone sneezes in my office, no one says anything at all, which I find quite odd. I'd like someone to say it :pac:


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    #493
    EmmetSpiceland
    Registered Users Posts: 10,527 ✭✭✭✭EmmetSpiceland


    J Mysterio wrote: »
    I'm not religious in the least and would generally refrain saying 'bless you' because of that, but ive always felt kind of bad to say nothing. Should probably say 'gesundheit'.

    But on that point, ive noticed that this is much the same everywhere. The youth today are very dissafected with religion generally. Result of this is when someone sneezes in my office, no one says anything at all, which I find quite odd. I'd like someone to say it :pac:

    Personally, I think it’s up to the “sneezer” to say “excuse me” rather than anyone “bless” them.

    The tide is turning…



  • Options
    #494
    J Mysterio
    Registered Users Posts: 11,035 ✭✭✭✭J Mysterio


    Monkey2019 wrote: »
    Colleague keeps showing us pictures of his 16 year old daughter and her friends in their bikinis. It's so creepy.

    Seems inappropriate. When you say 'keeps showing us', that's more concerning still. But you keep looking, or how does it work?

    The pictures would have to be of a photo set from a holday or some such, no?


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    #495
    J Mysterio
    Registered Users Posts: 11,035 ✭✭✭✭J Mysterio


    EmmetSpiceland wrote: »
    Personally, I think it’s up to the “sneezer” to say “excuse me” rather than anyone “bless” them.

    Sneezer: hachoo! Excuse me.
    Observer: Thank you.


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    #496
    EmmetSpiceland
    Registered Users Posts: 10,527 ✭✭✭✭EmmetSpiceland


    J Mysterio wrote: »
    Sneezer: hachoo! Excuse me.
    Observer: Thank you.

    Sneezer: You’re welcome.

    The tide is turning…



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    #497
    Deebles McBeebles
    Registered Users Posts: 5,748 ✭✭✭Deebles McBeebles


    On hearing of the passing of Terry Jones.

    "Who is Terry Jones?"

    "You know Monty Python? He was in The Life of Brian."

    "Never heard of him before. I didn't like TLOB"

    "Really? I thought it was great. If you're into that sort of comedy I suppose"

    "I didn't watch it all, only 10 minutes of it. It made fun of religion."


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    #498
    Rx713B
    Registered Users Posts: 220 ✭✭Rx713B


    Guy here answers 90% of questions with ...indeed...


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    #499
    ILikeBoats
    Registered Users Posts: 2,430 ✭✭✭ILikeBoats


    My boss says "with that being said" a lot.
    I keep tally. 9 is the record in a 30 minute call.


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    #500
    Sardonicat
    Registered Users Posts: 12,378 ✭✭✭✭Sardonicat


    Deebles McBeebles wrote: »
    On hearing of the passing of Terry Jones.

    "Who is Terry Jones?"

    "You know Monty Python? He was in The Life of Brian."

    "Never heard of him before. I didn't like TLOB"

    "Really? I thought it was great. If you're into that sort of comedy I suppose"

    "I didn't watch it all, only 10 minutes of it. It made fun of religion."

    He sounds like a riot.


  • Options
    #501
    stoneill
    Registered Users Posts: 3,610 ✭✭✭stoneill


    Monkey2019 wrote: »
    Colleague keeps showing us pictures of his 16 year old daughter and her friends in their bikinis. It's so creepy.

    Are you working in Doonbeg?


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    #502
    optogirl
    Registered Users Posts: 2,975 ✭✭✭optogirl


    ILikeBoats wrote: »
    My boss says "with that being said" a lot.
    I keep tally. 9 is the record in a 30 minute call.

    I've got a 'in terms of' tally going here every meeting - ridiculous volumes


  • Options
    #503
    Wildly Boaring
    Registered Users Posts: 3,629 ✭✭✭Wildly Boaring


    Vis-a-vis


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    #504
    Stevieluvsye
    Banned (with Prison Access) Posts: 2,907 ✭✭✭Stevieluvsye


    optogirl wrote: »
    I've got a 'in terms of' tally going here every meeting - ridiculous volumes

    "Going forward" is a fav where i work


  • Options
    #505
    Fireball81
    Registered Users Posts: 412 ✭✭Fireball81


    Revert back or reply back - morons


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    #506
    partyguinness
    Registered Users Posts: 8,207 ✭✭✭partyguinness


    "touch base"

    "can you chase this up"- no go **** yourself

    Everyone loves a bit of bull**** bingo.


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    #507
    Cordell
    Registered Users Posts: 5,783 ✭✭✭Cordell


    "we need to make sure we move this forward; let's touch base next week"
    means
    "I'm going to check on you in a week and you'd better get it done by then on else you lazy incompetent ahole"
    and 9/19 the one saying it it's just as lazy and incompetent so f all will get done about it.


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    #508
    Hego Damask
    Registered Users Posts: 842 ✭✭✭Hego Damask


    I remember going to an offsite years ago for a tech company I worked for, and in fairness it was a nice hotel and we had a nice breakfast and lunch and then in the afternoon we did paintballing, but the f*cking meeting in the morning was utter hell.

    Just a concoction of buzzwords, MOVING FORWARD, and TOUCHING BASE was used a lot that day - thank f*ck I didn't need to present.

    One of the slides I clearly remember was this :

    49425813032_849e166d26_o.jpg

    F*CK OFF!!!


  • Options
    #509
    angel eyes 2012
    Registered Users Posts: 896 ✭✭✭angel eyes 2012


    I've worked with a few crazies in various offices throughout the years. One 'lady' who comes to mind, used to seat opposite me and was really defensive and passive agressive about anything and everything. She was actually the junior grade in the office but the overall boss was scared of her and he couldn't handle confrontation so I knew for any easy life to ignore most of her cr#p and just be pleasant when necessary. She would slam the phone down, call customers c##nts, say she is going to get a gun and shoot someone else in a real angry manner.

    She would never pass messages to you when you were out. Give out if she was not credited on a report that you prepared even though she wanted no role in it from the outset. She would have standing arguments with other women about the best method of cleaning windows, full blown arguments with the ex on the phone (he was lucky he broke free). I had zero in common with her. I could go on and on..the day I got promoted from that office was one of the happiest days of my life!


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    #510
    Hotblack Desiato
    Registered Users Posts: 33,878 ✭✭✭✭Hotblack Desiato


    angel eyes 2012 wrote: »
    full blown arguments with the ex on the phone (he was lucky he broke free).

    Not free enough

    Life ain't always empty.



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    #511
    Winning_Stroke
    Closed Accounts Posts: 224 ✭✭Winning_Stroke


    Deebles McBeebles wrote: »
    On hearing of the passing of Terry Jones.

    "Who is Terry Jones?"

    "You know Monty Python? He was in The Life of Brian."

    "Never heard of him before. I didn't like TLOB"

    "Really? I thought it was great. If you're into that sort of comedy I suppose"

    "I didn't watch it all, only 10 minutes of it. It made fun of religion."

    I'll admit I never heard of the guy before yesterday and still wouldn't be able to pick him out of a line-up.

    The past few weeks, my superior and others at this rank have been emphasizing the importance of the "new strategy" and how it's "challenging to turn our back on the old mode and thinking" and everything is questioned as being "is it in line with the new strategy". I have no idea what the strategy is. I have no idea what the old strategy is. I think I'm better off. I nod the head and get on with my day.


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