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Bag Baby Bang Bust

  • 27-11-2019 10:20pm
    #1
    hgfj
    Registered Users Posts: 252 ✭✭


    This was written circa 1980 (updated a couple of times)



    intro -

    Some days were like a lot of other days,
    and other days were kinda boring.

    There's a crooner on the radio -
    singing a song, singing a song,

    "I'm an old young dude.
    I'm almost twenty-two.
    Tomorrow I'll be sixty-four.
    What am I gonna do?
    What am I gonna do do do now?
    What am I gonna do?"

    (yeah, yeah, yeah
    baby, baby, baby
    bang, bang, bang)



    So anyway,
    I slid to the side
    crawled outta bed
    staggered to the bathroom
    almost half-dead
    brushed my teeth
    tried to comb my hair
    gurned in the mirror
    make out like I care
    hell came along
    so I swallowed my pride
    took the plunge
    an' I stepped outside
    tried to stay calm
    no time to waste time
    I hit the streets
    'an they were covered in slime
    the pain went deep
    "this sh*t ain't fair"
    heads on the street
    didn't know didn't care
    I made da man
    sitting so smug
    pinpoint eyes
    straight to the drug
    I shimmied on over
    whispered in his ear
    how'reya bud
    can ya sell me some gear
    he says, sure I can sure
    when yer down in the sewer
    an' yer feelin' real sick
    you know I got the cure,
    then he took a little walk
    came back in a while
    palmed me a bag
    and a reason to smile...

    Later on

    I bumped up the skag
    became a new man
    walked down the street
    didn't care a damn
    whistled at the sky
    felt real fine
    man if this is life
    I could live it on a dime

    bag

    baby

    bang


    "I'm an old young dude.
    I'm almost twenty-two.
    Tomorrow I'll be... ?"


    .


Comments

  • #2
    Sheridan81
    Closed Accounts Posts: 1,429 ✭✭✭Sheridan81


    I don't like any of the lines that come before "I slid to the side". I would start the poem there.

    I would cut these four lines, hackneyed:

    "hell came along
    so I swallowed my pride
    took the plunge
    an' I stepped outside"

    I don't like any of the lines that come after "I could live it on a dime".

    The rest of the poem is ok, but sounds more like song lyrics to me.


  • #3
    hgfj
    Registered Users Posts: 252 ✭✭hgfj


    Yeah, it was originally written as lyrics. Sort of like a rap. And yeah, I agree, the first and last bits are rubbish. I don't know why I even added them.


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