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Child abuse allegation

  • 23-11-2020 10:25pm
    #1
    Registered Users Posts: 7


    I’m in an awful state, my 7 yo son told his teacher his dad thumped him 10 times, this was completely false but of course it had to be reported to Tusla, so we’ve been through it all and Tusla are in agreement that it was unfounded and won’t be taking it further. My son has 100% attendance and punctuality records, never is dirty, always has a healthy lunch and homework done, he is a top student. And of course he is never injured or has any marks or bruises. It seems to be boiling down to the fact I always took him to school and collected him and then was with him all day until bed time, this year I’ve returned to college and his dad is doing the school runs and then leaving him to an afterschool service until 5:30. I think he is missing me and confused. He has a sister in the year below that is doing fine but he is a mammys boy, a great child if I do say so. But my question is about the school. Can the teachers spread word of this personal issue to other staff members? Are they allowed to? and in turn be leaked to other parents? It’s a tightnit country community. Please no judgement, it’s been an awful experience for us all


Comments

  • Registered Users Posts: 821 ✭✭✭Coneygree


    Tammycat wrote: »
    I’m in an awful state, my 7 yo son told his teacher his dad thumped him 10 times, this was completely false but of course it had to be reported to Tusla, so we’ve been through it all and Tusla are in agreement that it was unfounded and won’t be taking it further. My son has 100% attendance and punctuality records, never is dirty, always has a healthy lunch and homework done, he is a top student. And of course he is never injured or has any marks or bruises. It seems to be boiling down to the fact I always took him to school and collected him and then was with him all day until bed time, this year I’ve returned to college and his dad is doing the school runs and then leaving him to an afterschool service until 5:30. I think he is missing me and confused. He has a sister in the year below that is doing fine but he is a mammys boy, a great child if I do say so. But my question is about the school. Can the teachers spread word of this personal issue to other staff members? Are they allowed to? and in turn be leaked to other parents? It’s a tightnit country community. Please no judgement, it’s been an awful experience for us all

    No, and pretty sure we can get into a lot trouble if we say it to other people, including staff who might have the child's interests at heart. Only the person who reported it and the Designated Liaison Person in the school should know as far as I am aware. Is it possible staff members can find out, sure, but they'd want to be very unprofessional to let it leave the school building and have other parents finding out.


  • Registered Users Posts: 164 ✭✭blueskys


    Just to say I work in this area and not to worry at all. This actually happens quite a lot due to some kids having either an over active imagination or like you say, are unhappy about something else in their lives. Once tusla social work report back to school that there is no concerns its forgotten about really. People have more on their plate and teachers have more to be doing. It is a signal from your boy to spend more time with him though so try and pick him up early some afternoon and don't forget to have fun as a family.


  • Moderators, Education Moderators, Regional South East Moderators Posts: 12,466 Mod ✭✭✭✭byhookorbycrook


    The DLP can’t share that with staff , so no worries there .


  • Registered Users Posts: 7 Tammycat


    blueskys wrote: »
    Just to say I work in this area and not to worry at all. This actually happens quite a lot due to some kids having either an over active imagination or like you say, are unhappy about something else in their lives. Once tusla social work report back to school that there is no concerns its forgotten about really. People have more on their plate and teachers have more to be doing. It is a signal from your boy to spend more time with him though so try and pick him up early some afternoon and don't forget to have fun as a family.

    Thank you for this reassurance, I shed a tear, I won’t lie... his school are very good and his teacher is nothing short of amazing but I’ve never been in a situation like this before so everything is running through my head, community gossip. I’ve managed to move a few things around to collect him two days a week, I’ve been considering dropping out I’m consumed with guilt. My sister owns the childcare service he goes to so I thought everything was great, he was still with family after school. But honestly thank you so much


  • Registered Users Posts: 285 ✭✭Knit wit


    My heart goes out to you. This is really tough and it shakes you. Make sure you keep communicating with your husband/partner. As the accusation was levelled at him he most likely be feeling particularly threatened. Dealing with agencies like Tusla makes things very real.
    Good luck with your college study. Know this too will pass.


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  • Registered Users Posts: 7 Tammycat


    Knit wit wrote: »
    My heart goes out to you. This is really tough and it shakes you. Make sure you keep communicating with your husband/partner. As the accusation was levelled at him he most likely be feeling particularly threatened. Dealing with agencies like Tusla makes things very real.
    Good luck with your college study. Know this too will pass.

    Thanks so much for being so understanding and you are right, I thought I was grand but god it just hits you, feel like I’ve been hit by a bus ten times over. I’m constantly on the verge of tears, it’s so so real and something I never thought I’d have to experience. My husband is quiet but putting up a strong front, that’s how he is, typical male I suppose. I’m also studying social care so I am terrified about the repercussions of this. Will this impact my future career choice? Maybe I should call it a day. My head is in overdrive


  • Registered Users Posts: 198 ✭✭Kathnora


    Try to draw a line under it for the sake of your own peace of mind. I can understand why your mind is in overdrive but "this too will pass" and by next week you will be feeling a lot better. Don't make any decisions re your course while you are so upset. I can guarantee you (from a teacher's perspective) that confidentiality will be maintained. In fact most of us are paranoid when it comes to the possibility of such confidential information being shared. Your son is 7 yrs old and wanted a bit of attention. You explained your situation and change in routine this year to the principal. He/She understood and that's the end of it. You have addressed the situation by adjusting your weekly routine and all should be well. I can also reassure you too that the principal would have parked the issue long ago and moved on. There is a duty to report to Tusla so a DLP has to act ...instead of using common sense in some cases!


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