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01-10-2012, 12:43   #16
doozerie
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@steviob, I'm looking good in that picture, if I do say so myself.
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01-10-2012, 12:44   #17
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I had a very minor encounter last Friday, it was just a bit silly rather than anything else. On my way home from work I cycled past a guy on a motorbike who was exiting a private car park (for numpties) and waiting to merge with traffic on the road I was on. He decided that I was easier to shove around than a car so he pretty much drove at me to get onto the road. I shook my head, yes I was *that* miffed. A few metres ahead were two lanes of cars stopped at a red light. I rode up on the empty cycle track to their left and stopped at the red traffic light.

I track stand at traffic lights to pass the time. It's also a good opportunity to practice at least one useful bike handling skill. The way some people react to it though you'd think I'd dropped my trousers and was weeing pure potato blight with glee on everything around me. With the odd exception we Irish seem to think that something a little different is somehow weird and to be feared - while track standing at traffic lights I've had people tut and scoff as they walked/cycled past me, I've had pedestrians seem to deliberately bump against me, I've had cyclists brush past me and/or stop so close beside me that I could clearly see the little "Vacancy" sign that their brain had left in their ear canal as it left for pastures new some time back, etc. Ironically, I've had several non-Irish people in the past compliment me as they went by, but being Irish myself it goes without saying that I can't handle compliments and had to make an effort not to scowl back at them.

Anyway, Mr Biker may well have been Irish as he drove his bike up the cycle lane behind me, and stopped at an angle right beside/behind me. If I let my bike roll back a couple of inches, which I often do, I'd have hit the back of his bike. He had space to pull out in front of the stopped car to my right, but he chose not to. I glanced at him, his head at most a metre from mine. His face had that expression of "I'm studiously ignoring you". I laughed a little at the stupidity of it all, he started to look a little self conscious. He looked a bit twitchy as I looked away to check the state of the lights, which were still red. I'm not sure whether he felt uncomfortable in the situation (of his own making), or whether he fell "innocent" victim to that Irish ailment of his eyes lying to him that the red traffic light is actually green, but for whatever reason he lurched the bike forward a couple of feet and stopped. Unfortunately for him, the driver in the car beside him had suffered a momentary bout of the same ailment so they both had to hit the brakes and restrain themselves as they both tried to occupy the same small section of lane. Mr Biker looked sheepish, Mr Driver looked sheepish. Awkward.

The lights changed to green and Mr Biker took off, veering into the cycle lane ahead of me to get past the cars at the next junction before pulling back across in front of two lanes of moving cars to get to a third lane on the far right. It wasn't even a cool looking motorbike. Tsk. In his head he may have pictured himself as Evil Knievel, to the rest of the world he was Homer Simpson.
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01-10-2012, 13:08   #18
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Grumpy old man? Me? Well, I've never really known what age constitutes "old man"
Doesn't matter. As a 60s lad myself, just remember that Old age and treachery will overcome youth and skill, and more importantly from Jack

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01-10-2012, 17:48   #19
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I just got shat on by a bird on my commute home. I'm composing a letter to the Irish Times as I type. (I'm very good at multi-tasking.)
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01-10-2012, 17:52   #20
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Must....resist....obvious....copraphilia...joke....
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01-10-2012, 17:54   #21
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THAT IS NOT TO SAY I'M TYPING ONE HANDED LUMEN
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01-10-2012, 18:01   #22
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I just got shat on by a bird on my commute home. I'm composing a letter to the Irish Times as I type
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Must....resist....obvious....copraphilia...joke....
Madam,

I may have just encountered the last swallow of the summer.

Yours etc.,

buffalo
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01-10-2012, 20:40   #23
doozerie
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I just got shat on by a bird on my commute home.
Was it a bird driving a bleedin' taxi, wha? I hope not, that would mark an alarming escalation of acts of animosity towards grumpy auld fellas on bicycles.
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02-10-2012, 08:48   #24
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How is it that even at 6.30am there's dog walkers and joggers on the Clontarf cycle track?
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02-10-2012, 10:53   #25
 
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How is it that even at 6.30am there's dog walkers and joggers on the Clontarf cycle track?
It's your sheer magnetism, darling!

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09-10-2012, 08:52   #26
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Thanks to the tosser who came from my inside and swerved in front of me as I was pushing off at the lights at Harold's Cross bridge last night. The reason you were "miles away" was because I braked, not because of your supreme bike handling skills.
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09-10-2012, 10:28   #27
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I was cycling the last few hundred metres to my house yesterday evening, up the hill within my housing estate. As ever there were parked cars scattered along both sides of the road so there was room for a bicycle and car to pass comfortably on the available road but that was it. The car behind me tried to overtake me as a large van came down the hill, but thought better of it. He then overtook me instead as we approached a speed bump.

So as he passed me he slowed down. We went over the speed bump side by side and at about the same speed. As he very slowly picked up speed he pulled across me, leaving me having to hit the brakes or be shoved into a parked car. I pulled back behind him and threw my hands in the air in a "WTF?" motion. He swung his car to the right and stopped it between two parked cars, in an apparent effort at parking that would make Mr Bean blush. I stopped, asked him to roll down his passenger window, and then asked him why he'd overtaken me and then pulled across in front of me.

Him: "Wha'? I gave you low-edds of room"
Me: "No, you didn't. You nearly pushed me into the parked car"
Him: "Wha'? I stayed behind you going up the hill" [Oh, well done you!]
Me: "So?"
Him: "Wha'? I was going faster than you"
Me: "You slowed down as you passed me and then pulled across"
Him: "I. Was. Pulling. In. Here"
Me: "So why did you pass me out just before you turned?"
Him, incredulous: "I gave you low-edds of room" - he placed his hands about shoulder-width apart, about a few inches short of the width of my handlebars.
Me: "You are supposed to give at least 1m of space when you overtake"
Him, utterly incredulous now: "A metre? In a BLEEDIN' HOUSING ESTATE? *scoff*"

So there we were, him looking out at a cyclist who seems utterly unwilling to appreciate his apparently trojan driving efforts, me looking in at a driver utterly content not to look beyond his protective shell of willful ignorance. Stalemate.
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09-10-2012, 10:49   #28
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utterly content not to look beyond his protective shell of willful ignorance
You really do get a better class of moaning around here.
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09-10-2012, 10:54   #29
 
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utterly content not to look beyond his protective shell of willful ignorance
You really do get a better class of moaning around here.
Comes with the even numbered postcode!
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09-10-2012, 12:53   #30
doozerie
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Comes with the even numbered postcode!
Hey, the kids ride horses round my way too you know. The fact that they are named things like Gemima and Sebastian in no way detracts from their air of disdain and menace. And that's just the horses, the kids have funny names too.
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